Chapter Eighteen

Angela

Saturday’s shift is busy and exhausting. It’s not until I clock out that Audrey corners me in the break room.

“Spill it,” she says. “I know there was a big date.”

I slide my eyes to her and can’t help the grin that splits my face in half. “The date was amazing, Audrey. And after the date? Even better.”

Audrey’s eyes go wide. “You didn’t?”

I nod.

“You did! Hell yes! Oh my god, give me every toe-curling detail. I need to know if the legends are true.”

So, we take a seat at the rickety table and I relive our prom night date and finally landing Logan Sawyer. I tell her all about his sweet and sexy words, and how he made me feel. But the best stuff, I keep to myself. A girl has got to have some things all to herself.

“Holy shit,” Audrey says. “Talk about a big gesture. Oh, he’s got it bad for you, kid. I knew it would happen someday. I really did. And Psychic Sue knew it too. I’m so happy we were both right. Angela Louise Sawyer. Sounds about right.”

“Slow down,” I say, swatting her ponytail. “He didn’t exactly propose.”

“He will.”

I laugh at the idea and leave her there to finish her shift. Exhaustion takes over when I get home and I fall asleep in my uniform. I wake up to the ringing of my phone. Glancing at the time, I see it’s just past five o’clock.

“Hello?”

“Heeeey, beautiful girl,” Logan greets. “If you had to pick one TV show to watch every day for the rest of your life, what would it be?” His words are exaggerated and a little slurred.

“Are you drunk?” I ask, stretching across my bed.

“That’s not a TV show. Answer my question, please.”

I sigh and stare at a crack in my ceiling. “The Office. Now answer my question, please.”

“The Office? Oh, I think we are destiny. I’ll be your Jim. You be my Pam. Hey, she was an artist just like you. I may have been doing some day drinking with the guys,” he answers.

I laugh.

“We’re heading to the Haystack. Will you come with?”

“Let me get up and showered. I’ll meet you there.”

“Good,” he says. “Okay. Good.”

“And Logan?”

“Yes?” he slurs.

“This is not wooing.” I end the call with a grin and blow my bangs from my eyes.

I arrive at the Haystack about an hour later. Logan and his friends are not hard to find, their loud voices and laughter filling the room.

“Angela!” he says, when he spots me. He hops up, wraps his arms around me and lifts me from the ground. He spins me a few times before putting me down. “Whoa. Shouldn’t have done that.” He grabs onto my shoulder for support until I guide him back to his chair.

I get greetings from the group now; the guys seem just as lit as Logan while the ladies are sober—probably just invited to the party, like myself. Scott recounts their day, which has already been full of shenanigans and beer, only getting interrupted when he forgets some tiny detail.

“No,” Logan says. “I did not fall out of the hammock. It was a tuck and roll maneuver. Standard law enforcement training.” Everyone laughs and Logan gives me an easy smile. “Don’t believe them, Angela. I don’t do stupid things when I’m drunk.”

“Yeah, right,” Scott says. “Leave that shit to me. I’m the daredevil of the group!” He stands, puffs out his chest and flexes his muscles for everyone, which really only emphasizes his beer gut.

“Psssh,” Logan says with a dismissive wave. “I bet you never jumped out of that giant oak down at Lake Loveless.”

Scott’s eyes go wide. “I bet no one has! That’s a death wish.”

Logan smirks now, sipping his nearly empty beer bottle. “I did.”

The entire group groans and responds with disbelief.

“Where’s Wren? She’ll tell you,” he says, scanning the bar. “Coach! Where’s Wren?”

“Be here in a few, Sawyer,” Coach shouts back.

“Good. You’ll see,” he says.

I chuckle because drunk Logan is silly and a bit awkward.

I pat Logan’s knee and tell him, “I believe you.”

He places his hand over mine and grins.

A few minutes later, Wren approaches the table. She gives me a big smile, ignoring everyone else.

“Wren! There you are!” Logan says. He crosses his arms smugly. “We need you to settle a bet.”

“Hey, Angela Louise,” Wren says, swatting my ponytail.

“Just Angela,” I correct.

“Where’s the fun in that?” She turns her attention to Logan. “What bet?”

“Okay. Summer before senior year. Did I, or did I not, climb that huge oak tree and jump into Lake Loveless?”

Wren gives a big laugh and nods. “Definitely yes.”

“I told you!” Logan shouts, standing up and pointing to Scott.

“We picked the lock and stole a bottle of whiskey from his dad’s liquor cabinet,” Wren says. “We were so drunk. I’m not sure who had the idea, but next thing I knew, Sawyer was naked in the tree.”

“Naked?” I ask. “Talk slowly, I’m trying to picture this.”

“I don’t remember being naked,” Logan says, sinking back into his chair.

“Anyway,” Wren says. “He climbed up to the highest branch he could reach and jumped in. However, genius failed to realize that when you’re at the top of a tree, there are lots of branches below you.”

“Stupid whiskey,” Logan mumbles.

“It looked like a pinball machine as he bounced off limbs all the way down before splashing into the water.” Everyone bursts into fits of laughter, myself included.

“Got a black eye and two shots to the nuts.”

“That’s what that black eye was from?” Scott says. “You told me you got into a fight with some Franklin kid!”

“Fight? Sawyer doesn’t fight. You guys know he can smooth talk his way out of any situation,” Wren points out.

“This is true,” I agree.

Logan looks at me, surprised. “Aww. Not you, too?” he says. He plants a sweet kiss on my cheek and offers a smile.

“Do you guys need any drinks?” Wren says. “I’ve got to get to work,”

“No,” Logan answers, shooing her away and pouting. “You can go now.”

The rest of the night is spent retelling tales from high school. Logan gives up his beer and sips water in an effort to sober up. The tree-jumping incident seems to have triggered many more insane stories of dares and double dares. Even though I wasn’t a part of that world, it’s fun to hear. It was a side of Logan I never saw and it makes him seem a little more human.

Hours later, after many more drinks, Scott pipes up with a plan. “Man, all I can think about is jumping out of that damn tree now. We should go.”

“That sounds like something I’d love to see,” Tiffany chimes in.

Logan shrugs. “Let’s do it.”

“Are you sure? Remember what happened last time?” I tease.

Logan gives me a fake angry frown. “Very funny. We’re doing this.”

“Yeah! Let’s go!” Scott yells while we all cheer him on and head for the door.

“What’s up?” Wren asks, giving me a hug good-bye.

“Apparently we’re headed to Lake Loveless to try a little tree jumping.”

She laughs and shakes her head. “And that is the law enforcement protecting our town? Good luck with that.”

I head outside with the rest of the group while Logan lingers behind. When he emerges a few minutes later, he hands over his keys and tells me I’m driving. Half the group piles in Logan’s truck with us and the other half rides with Tiffany.

We are on the road to Lake Loveless when Olivia speaks up. “Did you guys see Preston at the Haystack? I’ve never seen him anywhere but Millie’s. I almost pissed myself.”

“Is that the hot guy that works at Vinyl?” Myra asks.

“Yeah. Bennie sure knows how to pick ’em.”

“But he’s so weird, Liv.” Myra makes a strange face and shrugs her shoulders.

“He can weird me all…day…long,” Olivia says, laughing at her own joke.

“I believe Preston is spoken for,” I chime in, turning left on the highway that takes us to the lake. “He’s been pretty cozy with Wren Hart. Working at the diner, I see everything that goes on in this town,” I joke.

“That figures,” Olivia says. “Bitch just blows into town and snatches up the hottest guy.”

Logan sits up and turns to Olivia in the backseat. “Hey! I thought I was the hottest guy?” He grins and we all laugh.

“Of course you are,” I say as he rests his hand on my knee, trailing a searing line up my leg and back down again.

I check the rearview mirror as the two girls break off into their own conversation while the guy seems to have fallen asleep between them.

“Do you like showers or baths?” Logan asks quietly.

“Depends, I guess. Most days it’s a shower just for time’s sake. But if I’ve had a rough day, I’ll soak in the tub with a glass of wine and a book.”

“Is your tub big enough for two?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.

I laugh. “Definitely not. But I’ve always wanted one of those big tubs where you can fill the water up all the way to your chin and just relax.”

“I might be able to help with that,” Logan says.

“Promises, promises.”

With the girls chattering in the back and Logan almost asleep in the front seat, the drive to the lake feels longer than usual. I’m relieved when we finally pull into the park. Tiffany is right behind us and we all pile out, making our way over to the huge oak tree on the far side of the lake. Lightning lights up the sky in the distance and we can hear the rumbling of thunder, but there’s no rain yet.

“There it is, boys! Let’s do this!” Scott shouts, running past us and throwing his shirt off.

By the time we reach the tree, Scott is stripped down to his underwear and has started his climb. A couple of people cheer him on while Logan and I just wait for the inevitable disaster.

“This is going to end badly,” Logan says to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me tight against his chest.

“Yep,” I agree.

“It’s a clear shot,” Scott yells. “I’m going in!”

When he jumps, I squeeze my eyes shut so I don’t have to witness the idiocy firsthand. To my surprise, I only hear a splash when he hits the water.

“Holy shit!” Logan shouts, raising his arms above his head as if it were his own victory. “He actually did it.”

Everyone celebrates as Scott swims to the shore and crawls out of the lake, coughing and sputtering water.

“That was epic. But I think I broke my balls,” he says, lying in the grass, glassy eyes staring up at the night sky. “Someone take a picture. I’m a fucking legend.”

Logan and the other guys run over to help him up and celebrate. They rally around their friend like he’s won a gold medal or something.

“Boys are so strange,” Myra says, appearing at my side.

I grin. “No statement has ever been truer,” I agree.

“Yeah, but they’re easy,” Tiffany chimes in. “Predictable. You just gotta know which buttons to press and they’re like putty in your hands. Hell, get to them early enough and you can train them to be whatever you want them to be.”

Myra and I exchange a look. “Well, I guess it’s too late for this group,” Myra says. “They’re hopeless.”

“Logan’s not hopeless,” I say with a grin, watching him congratulate his friend. “He’s got some demons to fight, but he’s worth it.”

Tiffany rolls her eyes. “Oh, like you’re the expert on Logan Sawyer.”

I grin, because, well, I kind of am. Just when I decide to tell her so, she turns to me with an icy glare that stops me.

“Everyone knows he’s only dating you to get information on your daddy’s case.”

Shock, like an electric current, zaps every thought from my head and I stand there wide-eyed and motionless.

“Tiffany!” Myra says.

“What? She comes into this group for five minutes and acts like she’s got some claim.” Tiffany turns to me again, my glassy eyes barely making out the shape of her bleach blonde hair. “He wants to be a detective. He needs a case. Conveniently, your dad’s death is the only unsolved case in Crowley. Put two and two together, Angela. Or did you think he was actually interested?”

I blink and tears carve paths down my cheek. I look to Myra for an explanation, but she keeps her head down, eyes on the grass between her feet. She finally looks up, not meeting my eyes, but looking past me to Tiffany.

“You’re a first class bitch, Tiff. Grow up. Your obsession with Sawyer is old and played out. Angela was right when she said you are bitter because you never had a turn.”

Tiffany rolls her eyes, silently flips the bird, and stomps away. Myra finally looks at me. Her expression tells me everything I need to know. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I mean, Tiffany said Scott told her that, but she—”

“Just stop there,” I tell her. “I’m done with all of this. I can’t believe I wanted to be you guys back in high school. I can’t believe I thought that any of you mattered.”

The group of boys runs over to join us, Scott still wet and grinning from his jump. Logan’s full of laughs until he sees my face. His eyes dart to Tiffany and Myra and back to me, and after a few seconds he must put two and two together.

“You are a lying asshole who just uses people until you get what you want,” I say through my teeth. “Is anything you said to me true?”

Logan grabs my elbow and drags me away from the group. The rest of them quiet down, but stay put.

“Let go of me,” I yell, yanking my arm from his grasp.

“Let’s talk about this,” he says. “Can I just explain?”

“I don’t want to talk. I just want to go home.”

“Angela, you know me. You know I—”

“No!” I shout, taking a step toward him. “I don’t know you. I don’t think anyone knows the real Logan Sawyer. I think you put on a show for people, you play the role they all want you to be because they treat you like a god in this town. I don’t even know if you know who you are.” Hurt pushes me forward again and Logan retreats, backed up against his truck. “Maybe you have slept with the whole town. Or maybe you really are a good guy who keeps people at a distance. I guess I’ll never really know, because you only went out with me to get answers about my father’s death! To move your career forward, Logan!”

“It’s not like that,” he says, his voice is calm—completely opposite of mine—and so low that only I can hear him. “I mean, it started off like that. But this,” he says, waving a hand between us, “is not that. I am a product of this town, of my father and his expectations, of getting my heart broken and not wanting to ever experience that agony again. But—”

“But I was different, right? Is that what you were going to say? Please don’t,” I beg him. Logan closes the distance between us, his arms try to wrap around me, but I push him away. “I can’t. How could you?”

He looks away; the closest lamp on the nearby dock lights up half his face and I don’t know what he’s thinking. I don’t know if I care, either.

“I saw your sketchbooks when I was in your room,” he says softly. “I saw all those drawings of me over the years.”

I gasp, my shaking fingers cover my mouth as tears fill my eyes again. Heat rushes to my cheeks and my face feels like I’m on fire. My whole body could burst into flames right now as I volley between heartbreak and embarrassment.

“Angela, you are different. We could—”

“There is no ‘we,’ ” I say. “There was only me, the idiot, thinking I finally…” A sob pushes out between my lips and I want to die for letting him see me cry. Every bit of hope I’d clung to, every dream I had, breaks right there, crumbling to pieces and falling into the damp grass between our feet.

Tiffany’s car starts up and two guys pile in. I don’t say a word to Logan, though his eyes never leave mine. His chest heaves in and out and I can’t tell if it’s anger or regret propelling it. I’m not sure if I care anymore. I crawl into the front seat of Tiffany’s car, ignoring her stupid victorious grin, and buckle my seatbelt.

“You ready to go?” she asks.

I nod. I’d rather ride back to Crowley with the bitch who was honest with me than with the asshole who broke my heart.

When Tiffany drops me off, I throw myself inside, locking the door behind me. It’s there that I really fall apart, letting all the hurt and disappointment wash over me. I slide to the floor and cry until my eyes burn and there’s a terrible ache in my chest. Every time I get myself together, those painful thoughts slash through my mind and I break all over again.

Finally, when I am cried out, I stand and use my shirt to wipe my face clean. I can still smell Logan’s cologne on my clothes, only it doesn’t bring more tears. It brings fury. I rip the shirt over my head and push my jeans down, hopping on one leg to pull them off. Running over to my washing machine, I throw them inside like they’re on fire. I toss soap in, slam the lid down, and start the cycle.

In the shower, I cry more tears and let them wash down the drain with the last bit of hope I had for a future with Logan Sawyer.