Nothing was turning out the way Anna had expected. Work had become tarnished by the unwanted articles; her relationship with her mother had died a spectacular death; Ben had been revealed as a plotting cheat; and now she had lost Jonah – whom she’d considered her closest friend. Even her parcels, which had started as kind, anonymous gifts but had become something entirely dearer, had been tainted. Twenty-four hours ago she’d thought she was turning a corner in understanding who she was and where she could be going. Today, as she stared into the depths of her black coffee, she felt lost.
When her phone began to buzz beside her, Anna was tempted not to answer. She peered at the display and saw Sheniece’s name. Relieved the caller wasn’t a grovelling journalist or a mortified cameraman, she answered the call.
‘Anna! How are you? More importantly, where have you been? I kept getting your answerphone.’
‘I had a couple of days away.’ Please don’t ask me for details.
‘But you’re back now, yeah? Good. I need to see you – are you free for brunch?’
They arranged to meet at a chain restaurant in Kensington High Street, where Sheniece was enjoying her day off from work, ‘spending money while it’s there’ on the new credit card her latest flame had given her.
‘We’ve missed you at work,’ she said, hauling a handful of shopping bags onto the leather bench seat and sitting next to them. ‘It’s been so boring, you wouldn’t believe.’
‘No armies of rival hacks camping outside the building? No more Ben McAra exclusives?’ It felt good to be able to joke about recent events, Anna being confident that Sheniece was the best audience for it.
‘Don’t take this the wrong way, sweet, but you’re old news now.’
‘I’ve heard that before.’ Anna remembered Juliet’s PA assuring her of the same, before Senara’s story broke.
‘Ah, but this time they’ve run out of things to say. Rea reckons Ben’s refused to write any more about you, but I think the Dragon’s got what she wanted with this buyout deal – and taking the Post down a peg or two into the bargain.’ She buffed her nails with a linen napkin. ‘So you’re surplus to requirements.’
‘I’m relieved to hear it. So, what else did I miss?’
With a conspiratorial smile, Sheniece reached into her pink leather bag. ‘Only this,’ she said, lifting out a parcel wrapped in brown paper. ‘It arrived yesterday morning, but I signed for it before anyone else saw. Nobody knows, apart from Narinder, me – and now you.’
Anna accepted the parcel, inspecting it carefully. The corners of the wrapping had been folded with precision, the sender’s details absent once more. Knowing the seventh parcel had been from Jonah, this had to be from the original sender. It was the last thing she’d expected to happen – but she was surprisingly happy to see it.
‘I don’t suppose you fancy opening it here?’ Sheniece ventured. ‘Seeing as I kept it a secret for you.’
‘Thank you. For not telling anyone else.’
Her colleague’s shoulders drooped. ‘So that’s a no, then?’
Anna considered the parcel in her hands. It represented a new adventure after the confusion and disappointment she’d experienced recently. And, really, what did it matter who witnessed its opening? She appreciated Sheniece’s thoughtfulness: without it, she could have faced more scrutiny over the delivery when she returned to work. This way she could enjoy whatever she’d been sent, away from the glare of Messenger interest; involving Sheniece would ensure it remained that way.
‘Okay, I’ll open it here.’
Sheniece clapped her hands, causing diners to peer over. ‘Result!’
‘But on one condition: whatever is inside remains a secret between us. Agreed?’
‘Yes, of course. Open it, open it!’
Enjoying her friend’s excitement, Anna lifted the two perfectly creased corners of the wrapping paper. Sheniece leaned over the table for a better view as Anna pulled out a purple box tied with a black bow.
‘This is like a fairy tale!’ Sheniece squeaked, unable to contain herself.
Anna smiled and untied the black satin ribbon, lifting the lid to reveal pale-lilac tissue paper. Within the folds she found a beautiful hardback book, its edges gilded and its title embossed in swirling silver and gold.
Her companion was a little disappointed. ‘A book?’
‘It’s a lovely book.’
‘Yeah, but . . . don’t get me wrong, An, I like to read sometimes, but a book isn’t a patch on expensive clothes or jewellery. Which book is it?’
‘I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith.’ A memory of her Aunt Zelda gifting her a dog-eared copy of the famous coming-of-age story warmed Anna’s heart. ‘I read this when I was thirteen. It was my aunt’s favourite book and she gave it to me like a rite of passage. It’s a beautiful story.’ As she flicked through the pages, a square of white card fell onto the tablecloth. ‘Oh.’
‘Is that a message? What does it say?’
Printed on the card were words Anna immediately recognised:
. . . because life is too exciting to sit still for long
‘I don’t get it.’ Sheniece frowned at the card. ‘Sounds like a strap-line from a shampoo advert.’
Anna laughed. ‘It’s a quote from the book.’
Sheniece shrugged. ‘I still don’t get it.’ She let out a sigh. ‘I’m glad this means something to you. If I got this through the post I’d be demanding a name, or a phone number at least. Especially after the wringer whoever sent the parcels has put you through. Cryptic messages would annoy the hell out of me.’
Anna hugged the book as she read the note again. ‘I wanted to be Cassandra Mortmain for a year after reading this. She expects the best out of life, all the time, even though the circumstances she finds herself in aren’t what she’d hoped.’ The protagonist’s irrepressible optimism had struck a chord with the young Anna, who was just beginning to understand how far from perfect life as Senara Browne’s daughter was.
‘Right.’ Sheniece was observing her as if Anna was attempting to explain string theory. ‘Well, as long as you’re happy . . .’
To her surprise, Anna was. Happier than she had been for a while, and certainly happier than she thought she would be after the ill-fated trip with Jonah. The book had reminded her of a time when she’d believed the best was possible: it was that belief that had led her to dream of a better life in London. It had been a long and difficult journey, in reality only ending when she’d finally stood up to her mother. But she had made it, had never stopped believing her freedom was attainable; and now – who could say what was possible?
On her journey back across the city, Anna felt a welcome calm returning, as if the book she carried was a long-lost friend, returned from too many years away. She changed Underground lines at Green Park, dodging packs of foreign tourists heading for Buckingham Palace, and as she waited on the platform for the next train a new thought occurred: what if Ben sent this parcel?
How would she feel if the journalist wasn’t ready to give up? Could it be another ploy to extend his recent run of attention-grabbing news stories? She couldn’t imagine he had ever read I Capture the Castle; even if he had, the thought of him identifying with Cassandra Mortmain as much as she had was crazy. He didn’t strike her as the hopeless romantic type. She’d made it clear she didn’t want to see him again last time they had spoken. But what if Ben wasn’t willing to let it end like this?
So many details of the parcels had put Ben in the frame as the sender before he’d written the newspaper story. The coincidence of the midnight-blue shoes arriving close to their first date when they’d danced beneath the stars was too significant to ignore. But back then Anna knew she had wanted Ben to be her mystery benefactor. She’d wanted to believe he’d done it out of love, to win her heart. But if the parcels had been sent just for the sake of a story, why send another gift when he’d been found out?
Is this an apology?
It was a strange choice, if so. He couldn’t have known about Anna’s love for I Capture the Castle. She couldn’t remember specifically mentioning the book to him during their early-morning coffee-house visits. Maybe it was just a lucky guess?
She was still angry with Ben. But since Jonah kissed her, she had been slowly growing aware of a truth that she didn’t know what to do with. What had forced her away from her friend with such definite action hadn’t been anger because Jonah had crossed a line. It was because, in that moment, it galvanised her feelings for Ben. Pointless feelings – feelings that couldn’t be acted upon after what she had said to him the last time they met.
How did I find myself here?
She looked back at the quote on the card:
. . . because life is too exciting to sit still for long
Is my life exciting?
She had never considered it as such, before the parcels arrived. But back then ‘exciting’ wasn’t at the top of her requirement list for a happy life. Safe, secure and ‘mine’ were. Had she ever craved excitement? It was difficult to say. Her life in Cornwall had been anything but dull, but Anna longed to live away from the constant drama. Excitement became a byword for whatever car-crash relationship Senara was either lusting after, involved in or noisily exiting. That kind of excitement Anna was keen to avoid.
The memory of the optimism of Dodie Smith’s story had cheered her today, when she most needed it. If Ben had sent the gift, was that his intention? She stroked the embossed cover of the leather-bound book and let her worries go. She was tired of unpicking every development and the thought behind this gift was kind, regardless of whose thought it was. Opening the book at the beginning of the story, she began to read. Words she had loved so much in the past rose up to meet her and Anna welcomed their return. If there was ever an important time to revisit Cassandra Mortmain’s irresistibly optimistic world, it was now.