Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.
—Les Brown
In 1892, among Stanford University’s pioneer class was a student who was struggling to pay his tuition. His father had died in 1880, when he was six years old, and his mother had passed away only three years later, leaving him an orphan with little resources and no family to support him in his academic endeavors. In an effort to raise the funds necessary to continue his education, he and a friend decided to host a musical concert on campus. They discovered that Ignacy J. Paderewski, the world-renowned Polish pianist, was planning a tour in the United States, and so they reached out to his manager to see if he would consider adding a stop to his itinerary. Paderewski’s manager required a guarantee of $2,000 for the performance and a deal was struck.
The boys worked hard to make the concert a success. But by the time of the scheduled performance, they had fallen woefully short in raising the funds through ticket sales to cover the guarantee. Following the concert, the boys gave Paderewski and his manager the $1,600 they had managed to raise and a personal pledge to make good on the shortfall as soon as they were able to secure the additional funds. When Paderewski heard their plight and the purpose for which the performance had been scheduled, he tore up the contract and returned all the funds to the two young men, instructing them to use the money instead to pay the expenses of the concert and to apply the rest to their educational fees and tuition.
Paderewski went on to become the prime minister and then foreign minister of Poland. When the First World War ravaged Poland, it left more than 1.5 million people starving in its bloody wake. The country’s newly formed government had no resources with which to buy food. Desperate to help his people, Paderewski reached out to the US Food and Relief Administration for assistance. Established by Woodrow Wilson and under the direction of Herbert Hoover, the agency was responsible for the administration of the allies’ food reserves. On receiving Paderewski’s request, Hoover agreed to help and launched one of the largest relief operations ever mounted in Europe. He quickly shipped tons of food grains to feed the starving people of Poland, sustaining them until the next year’s crops could be planted and harvested.
Paderewski traveled to Paris to thank Hoover personally for the aid he had provided for his nation and countrymen. As Paderewski began to thank him for his assistance, Hoover interrupted him and said, “You shouldn’t be thanking me, Mr. Prime Minister. I am the one who should be thanking you. You may not remember this, but several years ago you gave a concert in Palo Alto, California. The young men who organized the concert could not afford to pay what the contract required from the ticket sales. You generously forgave them the debt and helped two students work their way through college. I, sir, was one of those young men.”1
Herbert Hoover went on to become the thirty-first president of the United States. During World War II, Hoover led the Commission for Polish Relief, which assisted hundreds of thousands of Poles. And in 1946, he once again visited Poland to draft another plan that would aid Poles for the next three decades. Hoover’s long relationship with Paderewski and the Polish people started with a simple act of kindness, demonstrated by an individual who could never have fathomed the impact of such a gesture. Yet it changed the course of an entire nation’s history.2
There are essentially two types of people in the world—value creators and value extractors. Value extractors position themselves in every situation to extract as much value for themselves as they possibly can, with very little or no concern for how their actions may impact those around them. They are the takers of the world. They live with a scarcity mentality that operates on the assumption that there isn’t enough to go around. So, in order to survive, they believe they must get to the table first and secure as much as they can for themselves. Value extractors live for themselves.
Value creators, however, constantly seek to bring as much value to the table for others as they possibly can. They live with an abundance mentality based on the belief that if we work collaboratively, then together we can create more collectively than we ever could individually. And the value created together can then be shared among those responsible for creating that value. Value creators live to enhance the lives of others. They live selflessly. But, in living selflessly, they greatly enhance their own existence.
Value creators bring their best to the table daily for the benefit of everyone they encounter. They don’t do it to gain something in return. They do it because it’s the right thing to do. They do it simply because it’s who they are. Sometimes they see that good reciprocated in tangible ways. Sometimes they don’t see the results at all. But they know that doing good for others is a good thing to do and so they do good because it aligns with their values.
Paderewski was a value creator. He created value as he wrote and performed music that moved the masses. He created value as a philanthropist who gave his time, energy, and resources to a variety of humanitarian efforts. He created value as a national leader and diplomat as he worked to restore a devastated Poland in the aftermath of war. And he created value for individuals he encountered, as he did with young Herbert Hoover. He didn’t create value for notoriety or personal gain. He did it because that was who he was. It was his nature. Creating value was consistent with his values. And it shaped his legacy.
Living in Fear
Healthy individuals have a deep desire to do good. Something within the human spirit is stirred when we see others impacted through acts of kindness. We feel a sense of fulfillment when we have the opportunity to make someone else’s story just a little better. Most people want to be part of something larger than self that makes a positive difference in the world. We long to leave a legacy. When we die, we want to leave more behind than merely material possessions that will gather dust and rust. The idea of value creation resonates with those who are seeking to build strong relationships. Yet many of us falter and fail in applying the principles and employing the practices necessary to create value because we are stunted by fear.
Fear is the great robber of relational richness. We fear disapproval. We fear placing ourselves in a position in which we could potentially be hurt. We fear disappointment. We fear rejection. We fear being taken advantage of by others. We fear offending. We fear there may be a lack of reciprocity. We fear not measuring up. We fear being exposed as inadequate. We fear many things, and that fear prevents us from moving relationally toward others in bold ways that could truly make a lasting positive difference in their lives. So, it might be helpful if we confront a couple of these fears. Since fear works best in darkness, shining a little light on the subject may be just the key to dispelling some of the lies and misconceptions. Let’s analyze a couple of fears that many folks wrestle with when calculating the cost of becoming a value creator.
Others Might Take Advantage of Me
What if others take advantage of me? Let me answer this question simply. Some will. Expect it.
It’s a common concern. The question may induce some caution, but it should not deter us.
Although healthy people are wired to create value, many experience a problem with their circuitry. The problem is selfishness. Selfishness short-circuits valucentricity—the alignment of values. While many people talk about creating value, adding value, or bringing value to their endeavors, very few actually know how. Most, believing they are creating value, are actually merely positioning themselves to extract value. Think of the consummate sales professional who gives the appearance of sacrificially going above and beyond to secure a sale. If he truly is making the offer with no strings attached, then such a gesture would fall into the category of value creation. However, if he is doing so only to establish a “chip,” which he intends to cash in when the customer gets to financing, then he is simply “giving to get,” as the tired sales saying goes. That would be nothing more than manipulation with value extraction as the ulterior motive.
The prevalence of selfishness and self-promotion makes many people vulnerable prey to a me-first mentality. A me-first mentality breeds self-protection and a myopic orientation, causing value extractors to walk through life oblivious of others. Focused on “getting what’s theirs,” these value extractors are wolves in sheep’s clothing, waiting to feed on the goodness of others. And they do. And they will. Sooner or later you will encounter someone who will take your generosity and then expect more, without offering anything in return to you or to others. Don’t be surprised when it happens. If you practice value creation, it will inevitably happen to you.
But fear of being taken advantage of is no reason to cease creating value for others. Value creation is life-giving. Value creation is inspirational. It is, in a word, transformational. When we mark someone’s life for the better or do something that somehow improves another person’s story, we have made a difference in that person’s life. We have truly made a positive wake in the world. We have made the world a better place. We have brightened the beacon of humanity.
Will there be those who, for various reasons, take advantage of our kindness? Yes. But fear of such folks should not deter us from following our own value construct. Even if our gesture of goodwill is not appreciated, we can still relish the fact that we followed our conviction to be a value creator. The litmus test in determining what one should do is not whether the gesture will be reciprocated. The value creator follows the inclination to move away from being a consumer of value and toward being a contributor. A tree is known by its fruit and not by the character of those who consume its fruit. A tree must stay true to what it’s destined to produce. A good tree produces good fruit.
When value creators connect with other value creators, movements of good are easily spawned. People’s lives are improved and their communities are strengthened. People are inspired to collaborate and relationships become that much richer. When a community of value creators comes together, value extractors are easily identified because they stand in stark contrast to everyone else. When value extractors attempt to coexist with value creators, they are quickly and effectively marginalized. Their true colors eventually shine through and they are seen for what they really are: self-centered.
My Needs Might Not Be Met
What if my needs aren’t met? This is a legitimate question.
We all have the need to be loved and to feel we belong. We have hopes, dreams, and aspirations. We have a desire to be appreciated and respected when we give of ourselves to others. So, the question becomes, What if I focus on meeting the needs of others and my own needs go unmet? While it’s possible that a value creator’s needs may go unmet, it’s very unlikely. While there is no guarantee it will work, the approach one needs to take to ensure one’s own needs are met is completely counterintuitive.
You may remember the name Abraham Maslow from your psychology 101 course in college. Maslow’s famous hierarchy of needs was first set forth in 1943 in a paper titled “A Theory of Human Motivation.” Taking a radically different approach to his work, in light of other contemporary psychological studies, he chose to focus on what he called “exemplary people.” He studied people such as Albert Einstein, Jane Addams, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Frederick Douglass rather than the mentally ill or neurotic. Instead of working with and diagnosing unhealthy behavior, he sought to understand what motivational factors drove healthy behavior. He focused on the top 1 percent of the population in his attempt to construct a model that would explain the forces that undergird individual performance. Maslow’s theory was more fully expressed in his 1954 book Motivation and Personality.
Maslow’s hierarchy is most often expressed in a pyramid, consisting of a five-tier model of human needs, with the most fundamental needs at the bottom and ascending ultimately to self-actualization at the top. The foundational layers of the pyramid contain what Maslow called “deficiency needs.” These needs include basic physical needs, such as food, shelter, and clothing, followed by security. As these needs are met, love and belonging, along with self-esteem, become higher factors to be considered as one moves toward wholeness. According to Maslow, the most basic level of needs must be met before an individual will strongly desire to pursue the secondary or higher-level needs. However, he also coined the term metamotivation to describe the motivation of people who go beyond the scope of basic needs and strive for constant betterment of themselves and others, often despite the fact that some of their own needs go unmet.3
In his early writings, self-actualization was the pinnacle of the pyramid. Self-actualization refers to the realization of one’s full potential. Maslow described this level as the desire to accomplish everything one can, to become the most that one can be. But this description, while it speaks to personal growth, is all about the betterment of the individual and is centered on self and one’s own fulfillment. While this concept was widely accepted, Maslow himself grew increasingly uncomfortable with the idea of a self-contained explanation of personal development and was challenged to consider that life is not complete until one rises above self alone and focuses on leaving a legacy of good for others. Through this challenge, he grew to believe that one must think beyond self if one is to truly impact the lives of others in a meaningful way.
In his later years, Maslow explored a further dimension of needs while criticizing his own vision on self-actualization. He came to realize that the self only finds its actualization in giving to some higher goal outside oneself, in altruism and spirituality, which is essentially the desire to reach the infinite. So, he added a new tier atop the pyramid called self-transcendence. Transcendence, for Maslow, referred to the very highest and most inclusive or holistic levels of human consciousness. It involved behaving and relating, as ends rather than means, to oneself and more especially to others. It meant being true to one’s own values and seeking to improve the existence of others. Self-transcendence involved making a decision to become a value creator.4
It’s interesting that Maslow eventually acknowledged that living in the highest order means living beyond self. That is not to suggest we should be unconcerned about having our basic needs met. If our deficiency needs are not met, it creates a dynamic that makes it very difficult for us to focus on ascending to higher levels of motivation. However, it’s interesting to note that even Maslow acknowledged that many who were unable to have even their most basic physiological needs met could and often would ascend to the highest levels in service to others. This is exactly what he meant by metamotivation.
Self-transcendence means living beyond self. It’s focusing on what we can do for others. It’s creating a legacy of good. It’s seeking to meet the needs of others and, in doing so, finding meaning and fulfillment in life personally. It’s also counterintuitive: the secret to leading a meaningful and fulfilling life is actually found in generosity. The more we give, the more we will receive.
Generosity is living life with an open hand. Imagine trying to hold sand in the palm of your hand. If you were to make a fist to hold onto what you have, you would most certainly lose a good portion of it. And the tighter you squeeze, the more would escape between your fingers. But if you were to hold your hand open and cup your palm, your capacity would increase. When you have an open hand, others can take from you, but they can also add more as well. Living life with an open hand means living life with a greater capacity to both give and receive. The more you give, the more capacity you have to receive. If you surround yourself with value creators and you have a great capacity to receive, then you open yourself up to immense possibilities.
John Templeton is often quoted as having said, “To get joy, we must give it and to keep joy, we must scatter it.” He is also often attributed with having said, “In order to be successful, focus on making others successful.” Both are powerful statements that clearly express the heart of value creation.
Surround yourself with value creators and as you give, it will be given to you. Not because you expect it. But by seeking to surround yourself with like-hearted individuals, you will also be surrounding yourself with people who have your best interest at heart. When you do that, a community of care and responsiveness prevails. This does not mean that those who receive from you will always be capable of reciprocating in kind. If that were the expectation, then it wouldn’t be value creation. However, with each act of value creation, the recipient is charged with the responsibility to turn around and pay it forward. The purpose of value creation is to multiply acts of kindness in the world. The intent is to create movements of good and influence consumers toward being contributors. As George Bernard Shaw wrote in his play Candida, “We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.”5 Whether that charge is heeded, one may never know. But such a charge, nonetheless, should be inherent within each act of goodness.
Those who are value creators at heart and have been the recipients of value creation from others will hopefully multiply goodness, generating movements of good and enhancing the lives of others they encounter. So, if you find yourself in a situation in which your needs are constantly going unmet, then you may have to reevaluate the company you keep.
When a Situation Doesn’t Improve
What if my situation doesn’t improve? It’s probably safe to assume that the folks who ask this question have found themselves in a situation in which value creation is being consistently met with value extraction. If enough unhealthy people are in the mix, then a value creator can feel like someone swimming in a muddy pond infested with leeches. Value extractors will attempt to attach themselves to value creators with the sole purpose of seeking to suck whatever life out of the creator they can.
This situation has caused many value creators to become discouraged and even begin to wonder if their actions were well founded. I want to offer words of both encouragement and caution. First, you never know the impact your actions may have on others. You may choose to give and never fully understand whether the actions you take will ever have a long-lasting positive impact. Give anyway—not because of the potential outcome but because giving is part and parcel of being a value creator.
It’s also important to realize that one’s giving may not have an immediate impact on the recipient. It may take time for them to fully feel the impact. This is especially true when the value creator is in relationship with someone who has been deeply hurt in the past or may be suffering from a serious lack of trust. That person may have erected self-protective defenses to prevent themselves from being hurt again. When a value creator senses this to be the case, compassion and patience are key. It may take time for the injured person to dismantle the protective emotional walls. Only a steady stream of value creation will ever erode these defenses and allow their true heart to emerge. Love them consistently.
At the same time, a word of caution is justified. If you find yourself in a situation in which you have given consistently and do not sense that the recipient is in a self-protective mode but rather is simply taking advantage of your gracious actions, then you may have to reevaluate the situation. You do not want to enable bad behavior. Do not think for a minute that servant leadership implies that there are no boundaries. Rather, setting boundaries may often be the only way a value extractor comes to terms with their destructive behavior.
Preventing Abuse
Whenever we sense that a value extractor is in the mix, we can follow a progression for addressing such individuals. Unless dealt with properly, value extractors will continue to suck the lifeblood out of those around them, damaging personal relationships and deterring collaborative endeavors. Value extractors must be addressed effectively. Let me suggest a three-step process for dealing with value extractors.
Step One: Carefrontation
Value extractors should initially be coached and encouraged to move beyond self. If their focus has been on self-promotion and self-protection, consuming rather than contributing, then they should be confronted with care. Left unaddressed, the behavior will continue, destroying interpersonal relationships and teams. Top-tier performance is based on trust and collaboration. Value extractors will short-circuit both. Like termites eating away at the integrity of a weight-bearing beam, they will find soft wood and begin to work their destructive ways until the decay is effectively addressed. Their negative impact may go undetected for a while, but sooner or later their corrosive power will weaken the relational constitution of any team.
When confronted with the self-serving nature of their actions, some may be horrified at the negative wake they have been creating. It may truly have been a blind spot that had never been exposed until that moment. If this is the case, then an air of humility and a commitment to change will reveal the individual’s true heart. However, if they fail to heed the warning, then we must take corrective action. If the individual becomes defensive and casts aspersions on others, shifts blame and refuses to take responsibility, or resists engaging in deep personal introspection leading to change, then it’s time to move on to step two.
Step Two: Isolation
Isolation provides an opportunity for self-reflection. It makes a clear statement about behavioral expectations and provides time for the person to make the necessary attitudinal adjustments. If their behavior persists, then the value extractor should be put in a “time-out” from the team. This may happen naturally as other team members simply fail to extend an invitation for that person to participate in projects. Or it may be necessary for the leader to quarantine the value extractor. The value extractor may be allowed to continue as an individual contributor for a season, but the team must be protected from their negative presence. In these cases, it’s necessary to establish clear boundaries.
The individual must be told why such actions are being taken. It’s a last resort in an attempt to help the individual to reflect on the negative impact their behavior is having on those around them. Ultimately, it’s an attempt to restore the individual to full participation, but that depends entirely on the response of the one being isolated. If they can recognize the problem and commit to change, then they can be allowed to reengage with the team while being closely monitored to ensure they don’t relapse. If the situation continues to deteriorate, then it may be necessary to excise the value extractor from the team and possibly the organization.
Step Three: Separation
Not everyone can be saved. You cannot help those who do not want to be helped. Some would prefer to destroy themselves and everyone around them rather than acknowledge their own need for growth. Some will simply slide down the Growth Spiral, resulting in alienation and desperation. When this happens, it’s necessary to let them go. The quicker a leader can work through this progression with a value extractor, the better for the team. Whether the end result is restoration or release, it never does any good to postpone the inevitable. Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do.
Bold Leadership to Light the World
Value creation isn’t for the timid. Because value creation is about putting others first, it demands that a person be totally committed to being a giver. It requires sacrifice. It means being consciously aware of the impact that one is making in the lives of others. Being a value creation–focused leader isn’t for the faint of heart either. Such leaders must lead by example. Additionally, they must coach and encourage their team members to play well in the sandbox together. And when the team members don’t, bold leadership is required to confront and address value extraction for the destructive force that it is.
Conversely, when value creation is woven into the fabric of a team, productivity is compounded. Trust is elevated. Collaboration becomes the norm and innovation is the by-product as people begin to work together to solve existing problems. When values are clear and everyone is aligned, valucentricity creates a circuit through which energy can flow to light up the world and spawn movements of good. High morale and goodwill begin to permeate the organization, escalating performance. Customers, both internally and externally, are impacted in positive ways that enhance respect and engender loyalty. Good things happen and the world becomes a better place.
Some may consider value creation to be on the softer side of leadership because of its interpersonal overtones. But the reality is that building a sense of community demands vigilance that only the fiercest proponents of culture may master. If you want to make the work world a brighter place through value creation, then you must pursue it with boldness that commands awe and respect.
Recently a new species of deep-water shark was discovered near the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands. Measurements, along with specific external markings and patterns, confirmed that it was a new species in the lanternshark family—the Etmopterus lailae. Lanternsharks are actually one of the most species-rich shark genera, with approximately thirty-eight known species. Eleven of these species have been discovered since 2002.
Lanternsharks are one of two shark families to be bioluminescent. In other words, they are glow-in-the-dark sharks. Bioluminescence is the emission of light as a result of a biochemical reaction. In contrast to fluorescence and phosphorescence, bioluminescent reactions do not require the initial absorption of sunlight or other electromagnetic radiation by a molecule or pigment in order to emit light. It happens purely as an internal reaction without external stimulation. It’s within its own constitution to shine. Though small, these sharks can put off quite a glow. Etmopterus lailae is a tiny yet tenacious and luminous shark.6
I am fascinated by the idea of a glow-in-the-dark shark. Sharks inspire awe and respect. They are the masters of their domain. No matter their size, they move with confidence, grace, and power. Pound for pound, they are tough characters. But sharks are typically predators that prefer to maintain a low profile. That way they can sneak up on their prey without alerting them to the danger of their presence. Sharks that light up are novel and defy reason.
For some, the idea of being a value creator defies reason or comes across as weakness. Because value creators see the benefit of collaboration over competition, some believe such an attitude produces vulnerabilities in corporate ecosystems that call for the survival of the fittest. Nothing could be further from the truth. Value creation requires a leader to be bold enough to fight through the fears associated with such a philosophy. It requires strong leadership to confront value extractors before they can do damage to teams. Value creators are tough and tenacious in maintaining a strong sense of values and personal conviction. They are both transparent and luminescent. No matter their role, title, or position, they have a massive influence on their environment. They create a sense of awe and respect throughout the pools in which they swim. And they are to be feared by value extractors because they will not allow anyone to compromise valucentricity. In short, value creators can be sharks and glow in the dark too. So, be bold in your leadership and light it up!
››GAINING TRACTION: Questions for Consideration & Application