In time, the Last-Minute Gang evolved into a Refiring Gang—a group devoted to supporting each other in approaching life with gusto, energy, and zest.
Instead of getting together at their house for the midsummer meeting of the gang, Larry and Janice encouraged their friends to participate in a walk-run 5K to stop diabetes in its tracks, followed by a potluck in the park. To their delight, everyone cleared their calendars for the event.
“Seen any good animated films lately?” Larry asked as he caught up with his friend Rob, who was moving along at a brisk pace.
Rob and Larry were in the lead, Janice and Alice were following at a good clip, Kelly was taking up the rear, and Phil—who was no longer using a cane—would be joining them for the last mile.
“I’m watching a lot fewer movies and doing a lot more walking,” said Rob, slightly out of breath. “The more I do this, the stronger I feel.”
“I see the finish line and the park up ahead,” said Larry. “I have to admit, I’m really ready for that potluck.”
Since Larry and Rob—cheered by an enthusiastic crowd—were the first of the gang to cross the finish line, they went to the car to get the coolers. Soon their picnic table was filled with grilled chicken and vegetables, leafy greens, coleslaw, potato salad, drinks, fruit salad, and chocolate chip cookies.
“What a beautiful sight!” said Janice as she and Alice approached the picnic table. Soon everyone arrived, took their seats, and began filling their plates.
Janice stood up and cleared her throat. “Thank you all so much for coming out and supporting Larry and me in our new cause, finding a cure for diabetes. Another reason I wanted to get us all together is to find out how all of you have been doing with this refiring stuff. Who wants to start?”
“I will,” said Rob. “When you two started getting into shape, it inspired me. I’ve made some big changes—I walk most days, for one thing. A year ago you never would have caught me doing a 5K. Now look at me.”
“You look great,” said Janice.
“That’s not all,” Rob continued. “I’m also eating differently. I grew up down South, so food was always fried and heavy on sausages, pork, and the like. I don’t eat that way now—although I am going to have some of that potato salad.”
“You’ve earned it today,” said Larry.
For the next half hour, everyone chimed in and reported how they’d been refiring. Almost all of them were doing some type of exercise on a regular basis. Most were trying to eat healthier, with mixed results. Everyone said they were trying to learn something new—Phil and Kelly had signed up for classes at the local university, Rob was learning woodworking from a friend who was a master at it, and Alice had taken up the piano, an instrument she hadn’t played since college. Finally, each of their friends was reassessing where they were spiritually.
Kelly was the last to speak. “This is so great being out here on a beautiful day. I’m thinking back to what our lives were like a year ago, and I have to say to our hosts, Larry and Janice—you seem so different now compared to then.”
The two looked at each other and smiled.
“We are different,” said Janice. “But I didn’t realize it showed.”
“Larry’s lost a few pounds and Janice has a sassy new haircut, but it’s not so much how you guys look,” said Kelly. “It’s just … something about you.”
“For one thing,” said Larry, “I’m not working nearly as much as I used to, and Janice has taken on a major role with her nonprofit.”
“But it’s more than just changing roles,” said Janice. “We’ve made fundamental changes in how we deal with life and with each other.”
“That’s true,” said Larry. “I’ve stepped back from work, but I’m more engaged in life than I ever was. Working a few hours each week with young entrepreneurs at the Small Business Administration has been really inspiring and eye-opening. The business world is changing so fast that I’m learning as much from these people as they’re learning from me. And remember I mentioned that I was going to be doing some writing?”
Around the table, people nodded.
“It was actually going to be a written family history, but it’s morphed into a family history in pictures.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” said Kelly.
“How many of you have hundreds, if not thousands, of pictures taken over decades stored away in boxes and drawers?” Larry asked.
Everyone said yes.
“I’m trying to figure out a way to electronically organize all these photos and bring them together into the story of our family. So I’m becoming a technology expert.”
“You, a technology guru? I don’t believe it,” said Rob.
“My teenage grandson Paul is my senior consultant,” Larry said with a laugh.
“That sounds like a good business idea—starting a company that helps people do that,” said Rob.
“Maybe down the road,” said Larry. “But right now I just want to get it done for us.
“And thank you, Kelly,” Larry continued, “for noticing that I’ve lost a few pounds. The important thing is, I’m healthier than I’ve been since high school. You won’t see me eating desserts very often, although I do intend to have a half of a chocolate chip cookie to celebrate my 5K walk today! It’s not just my weight that’s improved—my lab results consistently show healthy numbers. Take that, diabetes!”
There was a smattering of applause from Larry’s friends.
“What about you, Janice?” asked Kelly. “What’s different besides the hairstyle?”
Janice poured a second glass of sparkling water. “I always dreamed about being a risk taker, but now I’m actually acting on those dreams. And I’m finding out that with risks come not only rewards but also problems.”
“You can complain to us,” joked Rob.
Janice smiled. “I’m not complaining—or as my father would say, kvetching—I’m just saying. When I stepped into the executive director job, our organization was heading toward trouble. Donations were down and volunteers were leaving. I had to do some research, creative thinking, and networking to get us back on track. What’s been surprising to me is that once I started working on these problems, I found out something I didn’t know about myself: I’m pretty smart and capable!”
“We knew that,” said Kelly.
“But I didn’t—not really,” said Janice. “This job has given me confidence in dealing with people and situations outside of work, too.”
“You mean like me?” asked Larry.
“Yes, frankly,” said Janice. “I speak my mind more often, don’t I, honey?”
“You do,” said Larry. “And you know what? I love this more confident woman I’m married to. I’m feeling closer to you than ever.”
“And I love this man who’s hanging around the house more, making at least a couple of dinners each week,” said Janice. “Not that everything’s perfect. We’re learning to negotiate decision making.”
“Good luck with that,” Phil quipped.
“What are you negotiating about?” asked Rob, motioning for Janice to pass the chicken.
Janice handed the platter down to Rob. “Because Larry used to bring home most of the income, I used to let him take the lead on deciding how the money should be spent. Now our roles are reversed and I’m getting more involved in our finances.”
“Uh-oh,” said Rob ominously. “Party’s over, Larry.”
Larry laughed. “It’s not all that bad. We’re figuring it out. It’s actually kind of stimulating. We’d been in the same roles doing the same things for so many years that we’d sort of stopped listening to each other.”
“It’s true,” said Janice. “I’d forgotten what a great sense of humor Larry has.”
“That’s what’s different!” said Kelly, her eyes lighting up. “You haven’t just changed your looks and the things you’re doing—your whole relationship has changed.”
“I can’t speak for Janice, but I know I’m changing on the inside, too,” said Larry. “I’d gotten into a rut with church, attending services more out of habit than genuine interest. I decided to refire there, too. For years I’d thought about how I might put my faith into action. This year I didn’t just think about it—I started a small group that brings meals and entertainment to homebound seniors. I thought it would be depressing, but it’s just the opposite. I love these people—it’s often the highlight of my week.”
“And I finally get why Larry’s church is important to him,” said Janice. “I can see the peace and sense of calm it gives him. I’m also looking for that inner peace. While I don’t really experience that in Larry’s church, I did stumble upon something like it in a yoga class I started taking. They have several minutes of silent meditation at the end of class. Without all the words—which always sound like dogma to me—I’m able to go within and feel peaceful.”
“Sounds like you two have gotten real with each other about where you are with the whole spiritual thing,” said Rob.
“We have,” said Larry. “These days we’re much more honest with each other. Not just tolerant, but also accepting of where each of us is on our spiritual journey.”
The last of the meal had been eaten and everyone began gathering up their plates.
Alice stood up and stretched. “Oh, man! The only journey I’m ready to take right now is home to a hot bath. I’m going to sleep well tonight!”
With that, the group loaded what was left of the meal into the coolers. They set a date for their next meeting, exchanged hugs all around, and headed to their cars.
How ready are you to begin your own refiring journey? What can you do to get ready?