My friend Jessica is a butterball, if ever there was one. She is very short and very round. She recently joined Weight Watchers and lost a few pounds. I am glad for her.
At a recent women’s social at church, Jessica commented, “Guess what I had for dinner? Ab-so-lute-ly nothing!” No one responded to poor, little, starving-to-death Jessica’s announcement’ of having eaten no dinner. So after a few minutes, she added, “I didn’t eat any dinner because last week I gained a half-pound, and I know why.” (Yes, Jessica, we all know why!) “It’s those Girl Scout cookies.” I had to laugh out loud because I, too, gorged on them. Probably half of the Girl Scout cookies sold are purchased by the fat moms of Girl Scouts! Clever of those Girl Scout cookie people.
I questioned Jessica about the number of cookies she’d eaten. “Around six.” I almost choked on a snort!
I asked, “And that’s the only thing you ate last week that wasn’t on your diet?”
“Yes, that’s all.”
Then I became too honest without thinking about the consequences. “Oh, come on, Jessica. There’s no way you’d gain half a pound from six little cookies — a total of only four hundred and eighty calories —if you were perfect on the rest of your diet.”
“Oh, yes, I was!” (Very emphatically, maybe even a little huffily.)
At this point, I had sense enough to drop it. But please! What kind of diet would result in a half-pound weight gain from 480 extra calories? One must consume some 3,500 calories to gain one pound. Sorry, Jessica, “Methinks thou dost protest too much!”
I’m afraid Jessica was unable to be honest with herself. I don’t think that she was deliberately lying. I believe she was using a common self-defense mechanism of fat people. It’s the only way we foodaholics can survive sometimes. But here’s one foodaholic who refuses to kid herself. That’s why I make myself list everything I eat each day. It’s not a pretty picture, but I make myself list it, even when I pig out.