Chapter 12

I dropped Sokka off, and Appa and I kept going till we reached the Eastern Air Temple. As we descended through the mist at sunset, I spotted a small man sitting and meditating among the overgrown gardens and ruined buildings.

He told me he was Guru Pathik, and that he could teach me how to control the Avatar state. He also said he knew my old teacher, Monk Gyatso. That’s all I needed to hear. I was totally ready to learn from this guy.

Guru Pathik took me to a cave deep inside a mountain and we began. He started out by explaining that controlling the Avatar state involves finding a balance between the mind, spirit, and body. Then he explained that energy flows through the body like water in a stream, and that the body contains seven chakras. These are pools of spiraling energy. When the chakras get blocked, the energy can’t flow and my power as the Avatar is weakened.

So my job is to open my seven chakras. Doesn’t sound too tough!

“First we will open the Earth Chakra. It deals with survival and is blocked by fear,” Guru Pathik explained.

“What are you most afraid of?” he asked. “Let your fears become clear to you.”

I closed my eyes and began meditating. Visions and memories rushed into my mind—the Blue Spirit attacking me with swords, Katara being buried in rock by General Fong—and then, suddenly, Guru Pathik was gone and the Fire Lord himself was right in front of me! He filled the cave with flames.

I’ve failed on my first attempt! And I’m responsible for bringing the Fire Lord here to destroy the sacred temple, to kill Guru Pathik.

Then a calm voice cut through my panic and fear. “Aang, your vision is not real.”

I opened my eyes and saw Guru Pathik. No Fire Lord. No flames. It was all in my head. My hands shook and sweat poured down my face.

“You fear for your survival, but you must surrender these fears. Your spirit can never die.”

“But Roku told me that if I’m killed in the Avatar state, the Avatar cycle will end!”

“Once your chakras are clear, you’ll be able to control the Avatar state so that you won’t need to worry about that.”

Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better! Since Roku told me about the Avatar spirit, I’ve lived in fear of the Avatar state. I don’t want to be the one to end the Avatar spirit’s cycle. But since I won’t have to worry about that anymore, let’s try this again.

I closed my eyes and the Fire Lord stood before me.

“Let your fears flow down the creek,” Guru Pathik said softly.

I don’t fear you, Fire Lord. In fact, soon YOU’RE going to have to fear me. So go away. Get out of my head!

Wow! It worked. The flames in the cave are flickering out, and the Fire Lord is vanishing into the shadows on the walls.

“You have opened your Earth Chakra.”

Next came the Water Chakra, which deals with pleasure and is blocked by guilt. Again I began to meditate.

“Look at all the guilt which burdens you. What do you blame yourself for?”

My mind flooded with images of me running away from the Air Nomads when I should have stayed to complete my studies; of me screaming at Toph, blaming her when Appa was taken; and then, most powerful of all, of everyone I hurt and scared when I was out of control in the Avatar state. I hurt so many people. I don’t deserve to be the Avatar.

“Accept that these things have happened, but do not let them poison your energy. If you are to be a positive influence on the world, you need to forgive yourself.”

He’s right. I can’t change what I’ve done in the past, but I can try do better in the future—I hope.

“Remember how alive you felt at the moments of your greatest pleasure.”

Immediately Katara’s beautiful face filled my vision and I was back in the Cave of Two Lovers. …

“Well, I sense that chakra just opened up like a dam!” Guru Pathik said.

Me too. I do forgive myself and I am ready to move on. I also can’t wait to see Katara again!

Next came the Fire Chakra. It deals with willpower and is blocked by shame.

“What are you ashamed of? What are your biggest disappointments in yourself?” the guru asked.

I instantly saw myself struggling to learn Earthbending. Then my mind filled with my clumsy attempt at Firebending and how I burned Katara. It’s clear to me now—I can’t ever Firebend again. I can’t risk hurting Katara or anyone else.

But when I told this to Guru Pathik, he told me I was wrong.

“You cannot deny this part of your life, Aang. You are the Avatar, and therefore you ARE a Firebender.”

Right. I have to learn Firebending. There’s no way around it.

I took a deep breath and pictured myself easily controlling fire—no shame, no disappointment, just the strong will to get it right. Then I let out a burp.

“That chakra opened like a burping bison!” he remarked.

The fourth chakra was the Air Chakra. It deals with love and is blocked by grief.

Should be a piece of cake for a natural Airbender like me!

“Lay all your grief out in front of you.”

Happy memories of when I was a little kid at the temple flooded my mind: when I first met Appa, when I started learning from Gyatso. Then, suddenly, Gyatso’s laughing face melted into a bony skeleton. The grief bubbled up from deep inside, and tears streamed down my face.

Don’t block the grief. Let it flow out.

Suddenly I was floating on a cloud in the sky surrounded by all the Air Nomads I knew growing up. They were all meditating, but as I passed each one, they disappeared. Gone, just like in real life. It was like losing them all over again. …

“You have indeed felt a great loss. But the love the Air Nomads had for you has not left this world. It is still inside your heart, and it is reborn in the form of new love.”

There’s Katara! There she is finding me frozen in the iceberg. Now it makes sense. Love never dies; it lives on inside me and makes it possible for me to love again.

The fifth chakra was the Sound Chakra. It deals with truth and is blocked by lies, the big lies we tell ourselves.

There’s Katara and Sokka asking me why I didn’t tell them right away that I was the Avatar. It was because I never wanted this responsibility.

“Then why do you accept it?”

It’s my duty to bring balance to the world.

“Do you WANT this, or are you trying to impress someone else who thinks you SHOULD do this?”

Why is he asking me that? He’s basically accusing me of not really wanting to be the Avatar. But I do want to be the Avatar! I think.

The visions of Katara and Sokka melted from my mind, and I was suddenly alone on a high mountaintop. I looked out at the world.

I do like being the Avatar. I WANT this. I know that now. The world is depending on me, and that’s okay.

“Very good, Aang. You have opened your Sound Chakra to truth.”

The sixth chakra was the Light Chakra. It deals with insight and is blocked by illusion. Guru Pathik explained that the big illusion is the illusion of separation. People are connected. So are the four nations. We are all one people. In fact, even the separation of the four elements is an illusion.

I opened my mind and saw an image of the four elements blending. Then the vision shifted to Toph Earthbending metal. I get it! The four elements are just four parts of the same whole. Even metal is just earth that has been changed into a different form. Just then the Light Chakra opened for me. One more to go.

“Once you open the final chakra, you’ll be able to move in and out of the Avatar state at will. And you will have complete control and awareness of all your actions while in the Avatar state.”

I am so psyched! This is why I came here. This is the big step that will allow me to defeat the Fire Lord and unite the world. Let’s go. I’m ready!

The guru told me that the Thought Chakra deals with pure cosmic energy and is blocked by all earthly attachments.

“To begin, Aang, you must meditate on what attaches you to this world.”

Instantly my mind filled with thoughts of Katara. I saw us together in all the things we’ve been through, and I realized that I’m never happier than when I’m with her.

“Now, let all of these attachments go,” he continued. “Let them flow away, forgotten. … Learn to let her go, or you cannot let pure cosmic energy flow in from the universe.”

What? What’s he talking about? Why would I ever want to let go of Katara? I love her. This must be some kind of mistake. How can feeling an attachment to Katara be a bad thing? She means everything to me. I don’t understand—and just when I thought this was going to be easy.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let go of Katara.”

“Aang, you must clear all the chakras to master the Avatar state. The Thought Chakra is your gate to all the energy in the universe. You must trust it and surrender yourself.”

I closed my eyes again, trying to let go. I saw myself walking on a narrow bridge over the universe. Katara was there with me on the bridge, but as I relaxed, she lifted into the sky, growing smaller and smaller until she became just one more glowing star in the cosmos. I turned around and saw this giant standing at the end of the bridge.

Wait. That giant is me, in the Avatar state. I get it now! I have to reach myself in the Avatar state to clear the Thought Chakra.

I walked toward the giant, but then, suddenly, I heard Katara screaming. I spun around and saw her bound in chains, locked in a prison.

Katara’s in trouble. I’m certain of it. I have to save her.

But the giant Avatar also beckoned me.

What am I supposed to do? Do I continue to cleanse the final chakra and let go of Katara? Can I give up the person I love most in the world, or do I turn my back on learning to control the Avatar state? I can’t just ignore her! What if she’s in real danger?

I turned away from the giant Avatar and ran across the bridge to where Katara was trapped, but the bridge crumbled beneath my feet and I fell into the vast emptiness of space, lost forever.

Then I opened my eyes. I was back with Guru Pathik. I jumped to my feet in a panic. “Katara is in danger. I have to go!”

Guru Pathik told me that by choosing Katara, I had locked the last chakra.

“Aang, if you leave now, you won’t be able to go into the Avatar state at all!”

Somewhere in a distant corner of my mind, a voice is telling me to stay and complete my journey. Sorry, voice, Katara’s in trouble. I could never live with myself if anything happened to her that I could have prevented. I don’t want to lose the power of the Avatar state, but if being the Avatar means that I have to give up everyone I love, maybe I don’t want to be the Avatar after all. Isn’t the Avatar SUPPOSED to do things like help people in danger? Maybe THIS is what I’m meant to do BECAUSE I’m the Avatar. Either way, I know I need to save Katara because I’m Aang. I have no choice.

I leaped onto Appa’s back and took off for Ba Sing Se as fast as I could.