The First Thing I Saw

when I made it out back

was a can of soda

on the roof

of the camper bus

then Jimmy moved

half-in half-out

the driver’s door

spray cleaner in his hand

half a dozen

empty tins of motor oil

and three five-gallon

tanks of gasoline

two gleaming headlights

with their wires to the sky

were sprawled

across the ground

like the remains

of a party

the engine panel

in the rear

was tipped up

kneeling under it

his hands deep inside

the motor guts

was Ray

his wife’s legs

bent out from under

the bus

both knees up

as she clanked and swore

something sharp

and Ray laughed

Shh. The kid.

dad turned

and nodded

his chin at me

I came over

what’s all this?

what are you doing?

my chest filling

with hot dripping

salt water

Dad?

he gave me then

a wrinkled smile

nodding and nodding

as he fished for words

while my heart sank

and rose

and my veins

went cold as ice

June.

he said

just

June.