his yellow light
the pinhole light
was suddenly a beacon
in the dark
she scrambled
through the trunks
and leaves
and tangled growth
up the valley side
Rachel, stop—
but already she was
near the top
already hovering outside
the little window
looking in
It’s empty. Good.
come on
he’s not against you
he doesn’t even care
she tugged hard on
the shed’s door handle
it wasn’t locked
we need to get out of here
she looked inside
at the stacks and stacks
of books on shelves
on the table
on the floor
the pictures pinned
to the walls
all those faces of Jesus
and on the table
little lines of ink on pages
and a stack of white
clean paper not yet pages
a lumpy vase
of pens and pens
she saw it all
everything I saw
but the anger
was hers alone
Look at this.
He’s probably writing
About me.
you’re an idiot
he doesn’t care
you know he’s all right
we need to leave
What are you, his weird little altar boy?
her dark side came quick and quicker
she flicked the lighter
and a tongue of flame
popped high
like a ghost
freed from
his stony tomb
get—out—of—here!
and just like with my dad
my skinny stick arms
jolted alive and I pushed her
out the door
touched pressed grabbed her
roughly this time
What the hell!
I wasn’t going to—
she fell and her hand
her hand
her iron hand
went back
the lighter flame still on
it was so fast
the trees meshed for days overhead
had kept it all so dry
the brittle leaves
were hungry and went up too fast to stop
she screamed
and edged away
I stomped at leaves and leaves
tried to kick them down
but they were alive
full of themselves
kick them away from the house!
but she was useless
crying spinning
looking for something
a broad thick layer
of leaves caught then
drifting lifting
near his little house
I tore my jacket off
and swatted at the flames
they splashed my hands
boiling and freezing them
Help! Help!
she cried out
in a voice so weak
it made me mad
flames scratched at
the shed
the shed boiled alive
like water rolling up
so quick so quick
Rachel, help me stop it!
then he yelled
Father Percy
from the churchyard
and his huffing
running
thumping
across the ground
Oh my Lord!
Oh dear God!
Oh!
Oh no!