Some people call me fart puppy and run away when I come along.
My family members still support my natural smelly talent and call me lovely names like the butt whistler.
I guess that I am a natural talent. It probably has something to do with my genes. I am born like this, and I remember that my first significant explosion happened right after I saw the light of day.
I am just happy that my family has accepted the way that I am expressing myself, and this is all I care about.
I am not saying that I am the best and most genius fart blower out there, and I know for a fact that I am far from the master league. There are other puppys out there that are the true maestros in farting.
These puppies are what I call the one puppy orchestra, and you can pretty much compare their sound and smell to an unbearably loud and gasifying explosion.
I guess these kinds of puppys are seriously starting to scare off not only the people around them in the society but also their own family members.
I am more of the less extreme puppy farter, but I still enjoy my out of this world natural talent for the more classic and traditional types of smelly and vapor type cloud shots.
Yes, if I do not approve of weird stuff going on around me, I will shoot my gas at everything around me.
In the morning, I like to get started with the most straightforward and easy to follow classic gas shot that goes straight into Mom's nose as she lifts up my cover and tries to get me out of my sleeping basket.
In my book, this is the easiest move and even the more clumsy puppys can do the wake upper pooper.
Heck, no matter if you are a super natural talent like me or just a beginner there is not much to it.
Just copy this straight upward fart also called the wake upper pooper and place it straight into your Mom's face.
I have branded this one with the name the wake upper pooper because it is not the usual dry fart cloud.
No, the real wake upper pooper is one that has lots of potential, and you can produce this hot steamy bean stinking pooper cloud by eating some beans before going to sleep.
I mean it! Beans are the success ingredient for the wake upper pooper, and they always do the trick to get an extra steamy and poopy result.
All you have to do in order to make this poopy upward shot perfectly is the following:
Step 1:
For an extreme and steamy effect: eat some beans before bedtime.
Step 2:
Next, get on your front feet and try to inhale as much air as you can.
Step 3:
Stick out your gassy bottom in the direction of your victim.
Step 4:
Keep your balance on the front and stretch your bottom upwards and towards the goal.
Step 5:
Concentrate and shoot out the hot steamy and poopy air in an upward direction so that it hits your victim straight in the face.
Step 6:
Try to respect an almost 90 degree angle because this allows for a nice and precise shot.
You can of course get more sneaky as you go, and you can get this down to a science. The thing is to get the ball rolling and getting better at this every morning.
You certainly can use the wake upper pooper shot in other situations during your day and it is of course more fun to try this on family members who do not know this trick yet.
If you do it as instructed above, they won't know what hit 'em!
Heck, to make this extremely sneaky wait until you get dressed from your Mom and let her take you to the supermarket or the grocery store.
Choose your victim wisely and once you found the perfect position blast the upward shot directly at them.
In this case, it is not truly the traditional wake upper pooper, but you can come up with some other cool names like the supermarket hitter or the shopping cracker. Knock yourself out with this one!
The people at the supermarket sure won't know what hit 'em, and I assure you that I have never ripped my pants (even the tightest ones that I hate because they do not give me enough squeezing room!) when doing the supermarket hitter.
If you do as I am explaining, you will not tear your pants with this one. It is a good starter for the day and this one is for sure going to make you some friends.
Well, once you get into the habit of spotting some other puppys that love doing the straight upward shot in the supermarket, at the bakery, or at the butcher make sure to say hello because these are going to be your friends for life.
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