Have you ever gotten in touch with an invisible electric fence?
Well, if not here is a funny but true visible electric fence story for you.
Let me tell you what happens in this invisible electric fence destroyer story.
We are all waking up in a very good Sunday morning mood.
However, our neighbors Mister and Misses Sizzledrizzle have a different idea of what a fun Sunday morning looks like.
The Sizzledrizzle's know that Mom does not approve of their dog, Bladderpop, chasing our chickens on a daily basis. Mom does not make a secret out of her disapproval for Bladderpop's hunting activity.
Mom is telling everybody about this annoying dog hunting story.
Mom not only unloads her frustration at the butcher, at the hair dresser, and at the local bakery, but she is also telling the dog-chicken chasing story to every other neighbor on our little street.
Everyday Bladderpop chases our chickens and everyday Mom returns Bladderpop back to the Sizzledrizzle's and tells them to keep an eye on him or keep him on a long leash.
Yes, Mom does not approve of the chicken chasing dog, Bladderpop.
This Sunday morning the news is hitting me as I am opening my eyes because Mister and Misses Sizzledrizzle are standing in the open air and they are almost done installing their brand new fencing system, an invisible electric fence of all things!
We are all thinking that this is some kind of unreal joke. This truth is hitting us pretty quickly and real hard in the face!
The fence is real and it is dividing our two properties - in an electric way!
No way, I am thinking to myself, and I am trying to come up with some reasonable justification.
The stupid backyard chickens are probably the reason why the Sizzledrizzle's are finally installing this offensive fence.
Yes this must be it! Our backyard chickens plus the fact that Mom is running around like a retarded woman, telling every news boy on our street about her dog chicken fetching frustration.
The Sizzledrizzle family has a big boxer dog and Bladderpop loves to hunt down our backyard chickens.
Bladderpop the boxer dog loves to scare off our chickens, bark at small puppys and children that are walking on the street, and he loves catching frisbees.
What is worse than a frisbee catching boxer dog named Bladderpop?
Mister Sizzledrizzle who is ruining our weekend mornings because he is playing catch the frisbee on his lawn with Bladderpop.
Sometimes Misses Sizzledrizzle joins them which makes this scenario even worse!
I have never liked their boxer Bladderpop because he kind of looks freeky catching these frisbees. Frisbees are for children only and if adults or dogs touch them it is freaking me out big time!
Mom and Dad have obviously never been fond of the boxer Bladderpop chasing our chickens.
The Sizzledrizzle's probably got enough of this fuss.
As I am looking out of the window, I am thinking what a tough job to install such a complicated fence system without any technical help.
Well, all I can hope for is that Mister Sizzledrizzle has a good insurance company because there are some weird stories happening with these electric fences.
Do you know that people are getting electrocuted with these things?
It is true! Mom and Dad had a friend who by the way also kept a dog named Cornflower. You know what happened to Jonas the dog owner?
I will tell you!
Jonas truly got electrocuted in this tragic fence experiment that totally got sideways. Can you imagine that these things even happen to inventors!
Jonas is a legendary inventor and loves his laboratory work. However when real life happens, Jonas can't help himself.
Jonas truly got electrocuted as he was chasing around his beloved boxer dog, Cornflower! He did not remember that he had installed this invisible electric fence system a while ago.
Probably not completely conscious of what he was doing at the moment, Jonas still had his boxer's collar in his hands as he broke the plane of the fence.
Jonas probably got sidetracked by his new invention in his head and was not clearly thinking.
After Jonas's terrifying accident, we learned more from Jonas's neighbor, Clint Weston, who clarified us about the situation.
Clint described the scene to us as "unbelievable" and "horrific". According to Clint, Jonas took the liberty and installed a high voltage invisible electric fence all by himself because he had enough of his dog's weird behavior, chasing around for small animals.
Somehow Jonas's boxer broke free from the electric collar. Jonas picked it up and ran after Cornflower without being truly aware of the physical law.
Poor Jonas got electrocuted in a very bad way because he ran with the collar in hand through the invisible fence in an attempt to catch Cornflower.
Jonas was hospitalized immediately after the bad electrocution accident and got treated for third degree burns.
This is a truly shocking invisible electric fence story, don't you think?
Anyways, as I am watching our neighbors finishing up their own electric fence installation right next to our house, I am beginning to wonder if this is pure coincidence or bad karma.
I truly hope that this is not the kiss of death for us!
As the Sizzledrizzle's are wrapping things up on their end, I am already mentally done with my own plans for the day. I am thinking nobody here in this neighborhood needs a threat like this ridiculous invisible electric fence.
I would approve of a traditional nice looking wooden fence because wood is cool and it smells good.
This phenomenon of horrific nonsense is not something that I will ever approve of.
On the one side, I am truly hating everything right now, but on the other hand, I know that this day is going to be full of sparkling action for me and everyone around me.
Just one more thought on this invisible fence thing. I have been hearing horrible things about these kinds of fences and the news are full of horror stories about them.
You have to be truly careful of these electric fences because these suckers are painful. I do not recommend peeing on 'em because it hurts like the “dickens”!
Do not go near these damn suckers when it’s raining or wet.
Electricity has a way of flowing through moisture, so plan your attack of revenge on a sunny day.
I am sure that some dogs might have a higher tolerance for pain associated with electric shock but I would not even want to try out this one.
Some time ago, after a nice picnic, I caught Dad looking for some amusement.
He always has his trunk loaded with crap. I observed him taking some stuff out of the trunk and getting ready for some exploration of his own.
He pulled a spark plug connector out of the trunk and put his finger between the plug and the wire in order to see if they are getting a spark but this one did not work out so well for Dad.
Since then, Dad has left the electric stuff to professionals who know what they are doing.
Anyways, enough about my ancient stories because my reality needs to be urgently fixed with some creative thinking.
As I am finishing my morning duties, I am mentally getting more and more involved with the fence situation.
My solutions usually involve some explosive and smelly air cloud matter. In this case, I need some extra help to make this explosion into a sparky one.
I am calling this one the invisible electric fence destroyer. As I am holding this thought in my mind, I am quickly gulping down one extra portion of extra spicy Mexican beans that Mom got for me from the farmer's market yesterday.
As the beans are taking their effect in my tummy, I can already hear the extra loud rumbling sound in my tummy.
I am now ready to take my position right next to the invisible fence that is dividing our properties by now!
I give my front feet some extra balance in order to achieve the best fire power. I am pushing my gassy bottom backwards and in the direction of the fence. I am aiming at the invisible strings of the fence.
I am making sure to get a maximum air flow. As I am sticking out my burping bottom towards the goal in an upward position, I am clenching my teeth and squeezing my tummy for maximum air pressure and burping effect!
I can not take in any more air and at that point my tummy is at a maximum pressure level and blown up like a balloon before it explodes.
By the help of all my squeezing efforts, I am relieving myself and I am shooting all my gassy air into the invisible electric fence, causing one sweet smelling fire explosion.
I am truly giving everything that I can to intensify and accelerate the series of stinky shots.
My voluminous and gas intensive vapor clouds are quickly reaching the target. As the gassy clouds are touching the fence, they are blowing up into a firework of dangerously looking sparks.
I guess by now everybody in the neighborhood can hear the sparky explosion that is coming down on the fence in a series of sound intensive stinky bangs, taking down the whole wiring system in burning flames!
As this exciting and sparky firework explosion is coming to an end, it seems to have totally worked to my advantage.
By now the electric fence is a carbonized mess of black burning wires, and I am totally in love with the world right now!
I am looking around me to see if anyone is watching. I can not see them yet, but I can already hear a loud smashing door coming from the Sizzledrizzle's house.
As I am looking at the great results of my work, I am accounting for the fact that the series of gassy clouds must have at least gotten in touch with a thousand volts!
Funny how a series of gassy vapor fart clouds like the invisible electric fence destroyer can help
accomplish such a painless and effective job!
I am still hearing a series of sharp sizzling sounds coming from the rest of what is left from the fence.
I am grinning from ear to ear and trying real hard not to vocally bark out loud!
The pure flames of fire are still shooting out of the strings and for the life of me I can not keep that smiley smirk off my face.
As I am still enjoying myself with the sparks, the Sizzledrizzle's come running out of the house to witness what has just happened to their new invisible electric fence installation.
I guess by now everybody in the neighborhood is running to see what just happened.
This my friends is called the "Invisible Electric Fence Destroyer!"
Mister Sizzledrizzle says to Misses Sizzledrizzle: "If I am catching the one who set this fence on fire, I will make meatballs out of him!"
Misses Sizzledrizzle says: “This is not fun! Hell, yeah, I will help you making meatballs out of them!"
This are not fun times for the the Sizzledrizzle's. For me it is the best time of my life.
One more thing!
The only thing that I can wish for by now is that Mom and Dad get together with the Sizzledrizzle's in a peaceful way.
I am hoping that Mom and Dad can convince the Sizzledrizzle's to get a traditional wooden fence like normal people.
The situation with dog Bladderpop and our chickens is still going to be a major problem for Mom.
As the fence is burning down, the crazy Sizzledrizzle dog is running back into our backyard.
Yes, Bladderpop is taking great pleasure chasing our hens again!
I know that this is not the way Mom likes things.
I feel much safer now withouth the dangerous invisible electric fence right next to our house.
I mean let Bladderpop have some fun with the chickens, Mom!
I hope Mom and Dad both agree that Bladderpop chasing our chickens is much better than living in an environment that contains unhealthy electric smog that is flowing around us.
I know that Dad likes a green finger.
Hopefully Mom will get the benefits of a harmless wooden fence over a harmful electric fence anytime soon.
An electric fence is a real problem for the environment because it blows harmful electric smog into the environment of our neighborhood.
Yes, invisible electric fences really suck!
If you are getting offended by such a fence, you will have lots of fun with the invisible electric fence destroyer.
Eat one extra spicy can of beans before getting in on the action.
I wish you a happy sparky bean blowing with the invisible electric fence destroyer!
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