I love these marshmallow BBQ summer nights! Dad is unlocking his toolbox, and he shows the kids how marshmallows are grilled the rocky mountain way!
Dad was a scout-boy, and this is how he learned all these secret ways of how to grill a marshmallow in the open fire.
These are Dad's instructions:
1: Make your own homemade marshmallows because they just taste better than the store ones.
To do this you need: powdered gelatin, sugar, corn syrup, egg whites, salt, and vanilla extract.
If your Mom does not like to cook ask your grandma or anyone at school to help you out.
A homemade marshmallow is not only yummier in taste, but it is also more natural and healthy for you!
The list of ingredients is Dad's marshmallow lesson #1.
Ok, I guess this sounds reasonable, but wait until I am throwing in my own ingredients!
I am telling you this episode is going to be fun, and once Dad has got the BBQ fire started up, I'll show you how this home made treats are going to fly high through the sky!
Next, Dad teaches Timmie and Susie some other boring historical marshmallow facts that he probably learned from sitting at too many
scout-boy fires - ages ago! These stories sound like boring and outdated stuff to me!
I am more the action type of guy who wants to see flaming fires, sky rockets, stormy winds and thunderstorms, explosions, military artillery, volcanoes and their application to marshmallows!
To my regret Dad goes on with his scout-boy instructions the old fashioned way!
Dad says: "Timmie, Susie let's begin wit the fun. Help me obtain a bunch of clean and long handled sticks and then you can push one or two marshmallows onto the end of the sticks. If you want to be a true
scout-boy or scout-girl you really make sure that the entire marshmallow is secured to prevent any accidents with the fire."
Yeah, I am wondering when the fire action finally gets started!
Instead, he goes on with his boring speech: "Next you must learn how to hold the marshmallow over the fire the proper way. Positioning your stick with the marshmallows in a correct way is the key. Holding the stick 1 to 3 inches above the flaming fire is what you are aiming for!"
He goes on: "Hey, Timmie and Susie look this is how you do it properly! Just keep rotating your marshmallow stick and turn it to the other side once the marshmallow looks brown and cooked on one side.
Look, you turn it over like this to the uncooked side and hover it above the fire like this!"
He goes on with his explanations: "Yes, Timmie you are doing it right and make sure to continue the rotation of your marshmallow stick until all sides are having this tasty and golden brown color."
I guess now it is time for me to blow in my gassy action. I have to act in a very quick way before Dad can continue his lecture on how to remove the marshmallows from the fire and the sticks.
I honestly want to save everybody from Dad's never ending story about how he invented a way how to comfortably touch the burning delight and how to eat it without getting burned.
I have to be faster, and before Dad can go on with the dreaded fun and fluffy candy camp-fire scout-boy stories, it is time to fire my own gassy power into the sparky and sizzling marshmallow flames!
This is one of my favorite fire air blasters, and I am calling it the marshmallow shooter!
Daddy has gotten the marshmallow fire to a perfect flame, and the marshmallow sticks are frizzling deliciously. Dad keeps teaching everybody to rotate their sticks and to watch out for the color change of the marshmallows!
As everybody is truly focused on Dad's color instructions, I am sneaking right next to the fire so that nobody is going to notice me.
Here are my instructions for the perfect marshmallow shooter:
1. Get yourself into position right next to the fire. Remember that you can rename the marshmallow shooter to any alternative BBQ food that you like. If your family is grilling sausages, hamburgers, or steaks then you can call it the Hot Dog Shooter, or the T-Bone Steak Shooter!
If you are a bean lover like me, you can also have some extra funny moments!
My family loves spicy Mexican BBQ food because Dad is from Mexican descent and Mom is half Mexican and half Indian, so for me it is easy to come up with names like Burrito Shooter, Bean Shooter, Chili Con Carne Shooter, etc.
2. Wait until you can feel the gassy rumbling sound in your tummy and make sure you are set for the maximum airflow position: balance and stability on the front and gassy bottom turned in an upward and shooting position that allows to aim at the flames.
3. Clench your teeth, squeeze your tummy, and spit out a series of highly explosive, gassy, energetic, and stinky fart clouds into the open fire.
4. Watch the marshmallows fly up high in the sky as this vulcanic fire explosion hits 'em!
5. If you are doing it right, the marshmallows are going to fly up high in the sky. If you are eating some extra beans before starting the marshmallow shooter, you might even be able to blast this marshmallow fart
high into the sky and from there higher up to the ozone layer and from there higher up into the cosmic universe!
I remember the story of one marshmallow stick obsessed puppy who launched a cosmic marshmallow-stick-rocket in lightning speed.
This fart driven marshmallow stick was flying with lightning speed like a rocket ship into the universe and never came back to planet earth!
This was the fastest rocket ship ever seen in the galaxy, and it even overtook a more traditional rocket ship that was fired from some nearby military spaceship base!
It was unbelievably fast, and the people are still talking about this story today.
Can you visualize this? A marshmallow fart rocket that is faster than the speed of light and overtaking a space rocket ship from NASA - hahahahahhahahah!
I guess Einstein would have been impressed by this marshmallow rocket ship!
Another hellish competitive dog named Belcher Boy once had so much beans before he blew his sparking
marshmallow shooter. He was able to blow the grilling marshmallow stick right across the Atlantic.
The marshmallow stick was later discovered by an Eskimo who had never seen such a phenomenon in his life before!
Can you believe this?
The flaming marshmallow stick driven by Belcher Boy's fart cloud flew across the Atlantic and across the Rocky Mountains and ended up like a shooting star! The shooting star was falling from the Alaska sky and landed right next to a frozen igloo and an open mouth Eskimo - Hahahahaahah!
This fart story of Belcher Boy is so hilarious because it goes from a simple marshmallow stick that transforms into a marshmallow fart rocket. Next it gets transformed into a carbonized marshmallow stick and it finally lands on frozen Alaska ground, where it turns into a frozen carbonized marshmallow stick!
Hahahahahahahahahaha - A Frozen Carbonized Marshmallow Stick!
No wonder this Eskimo did not manage to close his mouth for an awful long time.
I guess Belcher Boy's version of the marshmallow shooter qualifies for the Guinness book of world records for farts! Don't you think?
If your family loves grilling marshmallows, you will have lots of fun with the marshmallow shooter, and I wish you a extremely happy marshmallow shooting!
Audiobook:
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