Tonight Mom needs some beauty sleep in order to recover from the previous flatulent disasters, and she decides to go to sleep early.
A crashing sound is waking her up in the middle of the night.
She can't believe this deafening sound that seems to come from Dad's side of the bed.
Where does this whooooommmming sound come from? This sound does not sound like her ringing tinnitus ear sound that she has been suffering from for so many years.
No way, her ears make a ringing sound, and this sounds more like a pthlbtztttttttzzzzzzzzzzz zishing snoring sound.
"Damn it! This must be Dad's snoring sound!", she says out loud.
"I told him not to eat black Mexican bean chili at night", she is bitchin and ranting.
"Hot chili always gives him a nasty digestive problem that is worse than the sound of a tornado!", she keeps on jabbering.
Mom is disgusted by Dad's smelly snoring sound orchestra, and she hates the way Dad is sleeping with his mouth wide open.
Yes, she prattling on, "Dad definitely had too much beans, and now I am the one that gets punished for this craziness?"
This is serious stuff for Mom, and as she is brooding over Dad's resounding snoring sound orchestra, she suddenly feels dreadfully sick.
"Is this rotten odor coming out of Dad's mouth?", she is asking in pure disgust and continues: "I am seeking the doctor's advice first thing in the morning because there is something wrong with that man's breath."
"It is a sweet rotten smell that comes out of Dad's mouth. Rotten beans and rotten eggs at the same time", she is exclaiming while fighting an evil nausea attack.
As she fought her nausea seizure symptoms, she decided to cancel all future meals related in any way shape or form to chili, black beans, and burritos in a jiffy.
She also decided to cancel the weekly eat out dinners at Dad's favorite local taqueria.
She had enough of Dad's rotten smelling mouth and nose explosions, and she continued to mentally plan her next step of the fight against the beans.
She babbled on: "Tomorrow Dad is sleeping on the couch in the living room or he agrees to get a surgery to stop his rotten and disgusting nose-mouth burps that make me sick each night."
Yes, Mom is going to take care of Dad's snoring problem for good because she has enough of these disruptive pillow explosions during the night.
Mom reprehended Dad the next day and told him: "You are not allowed anywhere close to the bedroom and my presence without getting a nose job to cure your smelly snoring problem."
Well, this my friends is the story of the pillow eruption.
You can easily apply it to all kinds of other bedtime type situations.
The instructions are as easy as 1-2-3. The most critical thing is not to get caught. Just sneak into the bedroom of your Mom and Dad. Wait under the bed until the light is turned off.
Once the room is dark and they fall asleep, you can come out and find an exceptionally comfortable place right next to Dad's side of the bed.
The procedure for the pillow eruption goes like this:
1. Stick up your flatulent bottom high in the air so that your wind production goes directly into the direction of Mom's nose.
2. Wait for the gaseous energy baking up in your tummy.
3. Take one more deep breath and now it is the perfect time for throwing in your airy chimes. Clench your teeth and release the pressure until every ounce of stinking gas has been shot into the air.
4. Repeat the process.
5. Listen and enjoy your own bottom burping sounds and wait a couple of seconds. You will hear the magical voice of Mom who is screaming out in disgust. You will hear her voice going on in a rant against everything that is of flatulent nature!
Mom is going to think that Dad is the air polluter. Don't worry about getting caught because nobody is going to suspect an innocent looking puppy.
I love the pillow eruption because it is the perfect insomniac game and I apply the pillow eruption whenever I am sleepless and full of energy.
I wish you a happy bean pooping and an exciting shooting star night.
Audiobook:
Please go here to download the audio version of this chapter:
http://www.answerszone.info/fast-udemy-cash/fartbookvolume1/ThePillowEruption.wav
or go here to get it:
http://answerszone.info/fast-udemy-cash/fart-meaning