CONTENTS

The Rochester Classic Drivearound

Joke Royalty

Weapons of Mankind

The Sad Archives

Pinning Bow Ties on the Dead

NecronicA

My One Asterisk

No! Garrett Alfieri Returns!

The Nintendo Power Bucolic Farm

High School Frito Pace-Off

The Happy Rolodex

Cunnahos

The Sadness Custard Montage

Mocktane / Snakeshield

The Sixty-Sixth Letter

Paris Green

Home of Triscuit

The Aurorist

A Torturable Place

Crystal-Lynn Mauer

A Thing to Invest

Two Ballerinas, Falling

Cosimus Belvende, George Eastman

Acknowledgments