| |
Steve closed his eyes tight, letting the sensation sweep through him. Every time with Diane was hot as hell. Their chemistry was as strong as it had been the first time. He loved this woman so damn much. Fuck, this wasn’t how he had expected his visit to play out, but hell, he wasn't complaining. Leaning forward, he pressed himself against her back and nuzzled her neck.
“Mmmm, that was fucking amazing.” He felt her smile before he stood slowly and withdrew.
Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her tenderly. Maybe everything was going to be alright.
“Come home. It's Friday night. Megan can stay at your mom’s a little longer. We need to talk, Angel.” His hand stroked her auburn hair, the waves soft against his skin. Gazing into those beautiful brown eyes he frowned at the regret he saw there.
“What is it? Diane, talk to me.”
She pulled away, began getting dressed. “I can’t come home right now, I have too much to do.”
“Angel, please. I’ve missed you. Us. Haven’t you missed us, too? And I’m not talking about sex.”
“Sex has never been a problem with us.”
“Then what is? Talk to me. Is it something I’ve done? Tell me.” He picked up his jeans, getting dressed and trying to keep the frustration out of his voice.
“I need some time, Steve. Work is crazy, I’m tired, and I really cannot have this conversation right now.”
“When then? Next week? Next month? Ever?” His voice held an edge, but goddammit, he had to get through to her.
She finished dressing and faced him.
“Just let me get through this case.”
“Then there’ll be another case.” He grabbed a file marked Volkov off her desk, waving it in the air to emphasize his point. “We’ve barely seen each other; fuck, we’ve barely spoken to each other the last couple of months. I had to hear from Dex that you went out with the girls. How much longer are you willing to let that go on? Tell me what’s wrong.”
He looked at the woman he loved, at her wet eyes, quivering lip. His gut was screaming at him, something was going on here, and it was never wrong. It took every bit of restraint not to go to her, take her in his arms and reassure her everything would be OK. But he didn’t, because right now, if she wouldn’t talk to him, he didn’t know if anything would be OK.
“Steve, please.” She grabbed the file from him. “I’m not trying to hurt you; I do love you. It’s just work.”
“And I love you. So what’s more important than that? It’s more important than work, isn’t it? Tell me, Angel, please. I’m here for you, always. I’d do anything for you, but you have to tell me what’s wrong.”
Diane shook her head. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just trying to do my job, to make partner. It won't be like this forever.” She sighed and sat behind her desk.
She looked so sad his heart clenched.
“You should go and pick up Megan,” she said. “She’ll be eager to see you, and I’ll be home later.”
Something inside him snapped. “You do remember we have a daughter then?” Diane winced, but he ignored it. “I am trying to be supportive, but we can’t go on like this. The team is about to spin up again any day, and I still took leave because our marriage is important to me. Apparently, you don’t feel the same.” He shook his head. “Go on then. Get back to work. Oh, thanks for the fuck, for taking time out of your schedule.”
Steve stormed past her out of the office, slamming the door behind him. He was furious at Diane, himself, at the whole fucking situation. He’d gone there with every intention of not leaving until they talked. Like an idiot, he thought she would want to talk. Fuck, now things were worse than ever. Getting into his truck, he gunned it out of the parking lot. He couldn’t go and get Megan right now. He was wound up; he needed to cool down. Through the handsfree, he dialed Diane’s mom and asked if they could keep Megan another night.
Then he spoke to his daughter.
“Hey Pumpkin, did you miss me?” he asked, forcing happiness into his voice, despite feeling anything close to happy.
“Daddy!! Yes, I missed you sooooo much. Are you coming to get me?”
His smile became more genuine at the sound of his daughter’s voice. It was true when people said there was no love like the love for your child.
“In the morning, Pumpkin. I got to finish up a few things and Daddy needs some sleep. So how about I pick you up at nine? We can go for pancakes. Sound good?”
“OK! But I want chocolate chip ones.”
“You can have whatever you want.”
“A chocolate milkshake, too?”
“Yeah, that, too. Now be good for Grandma, OK?”
“I will, Daddy, can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”
“Me, too, Pumpkin, I love you.”
“Love you, too, Daddy!”
He hung up, feeling guilty for not going to get her now, but he would only be able to hide his foul mood for so long. He thought about calling Dex but decided against it. The team had just gotten back, and his team leader would want some time with his own woman. He wasn’t imposing on him. Plus, Raven might be spinning up again, so Dex had enough on his plate. No, he just needed to calm down and think things through. Have a cold beer, or two, or three. He turned the truck in the direction of Jerry’s, the bar where the team hung out. Maybe Mackie or Donnie would be there.
Steve entered Jerry’s and glanced around. A few couples were in the booths having dinner. A group of young guys, who didn’t look like squaddies, played pool. Two men sat alone at the bar, drinking and watching the ball game. Three young women gave him the once over as he slipped onto a vacant stool. He ignored them, not even mustering up a smile.
“Hey, Jerry, can I get a beer and a whiskey?”
“That kind of day, huh?” Jerry grinned as he got the drinks.
“Yeah, something like that.” He turned his attention to the baseball game, but even his beloved Red Sox couldn't hold his attention.
“Where’s the rest of the team? You don’t usually come here alone.” Jerry placed the glass in front of Steve and poured the shot.
“Just me tonight.” He knocked back the whiskey, then motioned for Jerry to refill it. Yeah, he was going to need a few of these to drown his sorrows. It might take a while.
Steve had lost count of his drinks as the hours passed.
Jerry said, “Hand them over Steve.”
Demanding his truck keys. Steve did as asked, appreciating Jerry looking out for him, making sure he didn’t do anything stupid.
The booze had calmed his temper, but it had done nothing to ease the pain in his chest. He felt ashamed as hell about what he’d said to Diane. Losing his shit was not going to bring them closer together, but he was at a loss what to do. The nagging feeling in his gut had not gone away. Something more had to be going on. She said she wasn’t cheating, and he believed her. So what the hell could it be, and why wouldn’t she tell him?
He glanced up from his beer when someone sat beside him.
“Tough loss for the Sox.”
“What the hell are you doing here?’ Steve looked back at his drink. Shit, he really didn’t want his team leader seeing him in this sorry state.
Dex had a light smile, though his eyes were sharply studying Steve. “It’s a bar. Fancied a drink.”
Bullshit. Jerry had obviously called him.
“I’m good, Dex. You don’t need to be here.”
“No? Jerry, any chance of a couple of coffees?”
Jerry nodded.
“I don’t want a coffee, and Jerry shouldn’t have called you.”
“No, he shouldn’t have called, you should have. I told you to if you needed anything.”
“I don’t need anything, Dex, except a fucking drink. I’m on leave remember, so I can get drunk if I want to.”
Dex said nothing while Jerry placed two black coffees in front of them and took away Steve’s beer and whiskey glass.
Steve didn’t protest. Yeah, he knew he’d drunk more than enough. He never got drunk. With Onyx, they never knew if they would be spinning up, so one or two beers was all anyone ever had. Damn, his head was going to hurt like a motherfucker tomorrow. He groaned, remembering he had to pick Megan up for breakfast. Rubbing a hand over his face he picked up the coffee.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
“Want to talk about it?” Dex asked.
“Not really.”
“OK. But to be clear, I gave you leave to sort your marriage out, not to haul up in a bar and get pissed.” Dex’s voice was calm. Very little ruffled this man, something Steve had the utmost respect for.
“It was a rough day.”
“You mean worse than getting in and out of North Korea?”
Steve smiled. Yeah, that was a challenge, though, thankfully had gone smoothly. But he’d rather go do that again blindfolded, than try and get Diane to talk. It would be easier.
“I tried to talk to her, but it didn’t go as planned. I said some shit.” Although, the sex had been great. Diane was right, sex was never an issue with them.
“And getting drunk is going to fix that?”
Steve sipped his coffee. “No, but it helps numb the pain.”
“How’s that working out for you?” Dex glanced at him. Steve didn’t answer. “Yeah, thought so.”
“If I knew what was wrong, I could fix it. Fixing things is what we do. But I have no fucking clue what’s going on here.”
Dex raised his mug to Jerry, asking for more.
“You still think it’s more than just trying to make partner?”
“You should have seen her face. She’s exhausted. And her eyes... I’ve never seen her this sad before, but she won’t talk to me. I don’t get it.”
Jerry topped them both up and handed Dex the keys to Steve’s truck.
“You can leave the truck here overnight, it’ll be fine,” Jerry said.
“Thanks. We’ll swing by tomorrow and get it when this one can walk straight.”
Jerry chuckled and walked away. Steve felt embarrassed for having to leave it here at all. For his team leader coming to get him.
“Dex, we just got back. Go home to Kelly. I’ll be fine. I’ll get an Uber.”
“Not happening. Where’s Megan and Diane now?”
“Diane was at the office. She might be home by now. Don’t know.”
“And Megan?”
“Staying the night at Diane’s folks. I’m picking her up at nine tomorrow to go for pancakes.”
Dex glanced at his watch. He knew it was late, maybe close to eleven.
“Finish up your coffee. You’re coming home with me.”
Steve turned to face him. “Like hell I am. I’ll be fine. I’ve stopped drinking. I need to go home, so I can talk to Diane.”
“No, not tonight. Talking to her in this state is not going to end well. You’re coming back to mine. Sleep it off. I’ll make sure you get to pick Megan up on time. Then you can decide how best to talk to your wife again.”
Steve opened his mouth to argue, but Dex cut him off.
“Please don’t make me pull rank on you.”
Fuck, he wasn’t going to win this one. Maybe Dex was right. Sobering up and some sleep might make him see things a little more clearly.
“Kelly’s going to be thrilled,” he said dryly, as he staggered a step getting up off the stool.
“Kelly will understand. You ready?”
“Guess so.”
***
DIANE WAS STILL AT the office when she got Dex’s text.
Hey Diane, Steve had a few beers, he’s going to stay at mine. He’ll pick Megan up in the morning. Dex
She had called her mom earlier to speak to Megan, so already knew Megan was spending another night there. Now she understood why. Steve must have left here and gone to the bar.
She was still reeling from what he’d said. A part of her was angry, he was accusing her of putting work before family when his job always came first. However, his job was saving the world, so how could she complain? But ever since they met, she had made accommodations for him. His career demanded sacrifices not just from him, but from her and Megan, too. She’d accepted that, but it was hard dealing with so much alone, and not wanting to worry Steve because what he did was so dangerous. The last thing she would want is for him to be distracted. Her problems never seemed worth mentioning compared to what she imagined Steve faced on a regular basis.
Diane had been dreading going home. Now, at least, she could go and get some sleep, undisturbed. She got in the elevator and rode down to the parking garage. How she wished she could go home and snuggle next to her husband, let him make love to her again. The impromptu sex this evening had been as incredible as it always was with Steve, despite them not being in a good place. Sex with Steve was so damn hot. Not that she had anything to compare it to, but she didn’t want to. He would always be all the man she needed. Wanted. Loved.
Tears threatened again as the elevator doors opened and she stepped into the dimly lit parking garage. Her high heels clicked on the concrete as she walked toward her car, keys already in her hand. Something Steve had imprinted on her brain.
Never walk to your car alone without having your keys in your hand. Fumbling in a purse to find them, standing next to your car, is an open invitation for carjackers, or worse.
He had then proceeded to show her how she could use the keys as a weapon. She shuddered at the thought, but she had listened and taken his advice every day since. He was always so protective of her and Megan.
Diane glanced back over her shoulder, making sure there was no one behind her. God, this was ridiculous. Why did she feel so on edge? She was at her office, and cameras were everywhere in this parking lot. Nothing was going to happen. Shaking her head, she started the engine and drove out of the garage, heading home to another night alone.