38

Kira stepped into Max’s arms just inside her mother’s house. They had been at the police station until 6:00 p.m. While there, she’d called in the story to the newspaper and promised to have a first-person story the next day.

On the way home, she started shivering. She was still shivering. In the past six months, she’d lived with the possibility of her mother’s death. In the last few hours, she’d lived with the possibility of her own.

She had to change clothes before she left for the hospital to see her mother. Hers reeked of gunpowder and blood. And emotionally, she was a wreck, a condition her mother would immediately recognize.

So much to do. She wanted to check with the hospital about her mother, with Chris about Leigh.

But now she just wanted to stay where she was. In Max’s arms. She wanted him to repeat what he’d blurted out in the barn.

Max was not a man to blurt out comments like that.

She looked up at him. “Did you mean what you said in the barn?”

His arms tightened around her. “I always mean what I say.” He leaned down and kissed her. Gentle. Loving. Seeking. Then, finding what he sought, he kissed her harder, almost punishing before he lifted his head. “God, you scared the hell out me.”

He leaned back and searched her face with an intensity that made her blood warm. “When I heard that you had gone to the Westerfield estate, and I knew Rick was probably the one behind the attacks, I nearly lost it. Pedestrians and drivers are probably still in shock from the way I drove out there.”

“Leigh got the worst of it.”

“Knowing you, I doubt that. I think you suffered as much by having to watch. Chris said he told you not to go inside that barn.”

“Rick had a gun at her throat and threatened to kill her then and there. I couldn’t leave her.”

“Most people would.”

She frowned at him. “I don’t think so.”

“You see, love,” he said, “that’s a fundamental problem between us. You’re the perennial optimist and I’m the perennial pessimist.”

There was that word again. Love.

“Maybe we just balance each other,” she said.

Then he kissed her again.

She wanted more. She wanted down and dirty. She wanted to revel in the fact she was still alive. She put her hands around his neck and stretched upward. Her body pressed against his, and his kiss deepened.

All the fear, all the horror of the last hours faded. Nothing mattered now but his lips playing with hers. The air cracked with electricity. His body was like a furnace and she felt every bit of the heat.

The tenderness of the kiss erupted into the explosiveness she’d always sensed in him. Her mouth opened and his tongue entered her mouth, teasing and searching but still with a tenderness that made her heart sing. His arms drew her hard against him as their tongues played love games of their own.

Her hand went up around his neck, touching the thick dark hair that curled ever so slightly around her fingers.

Her gaze met his and she saw a raw, aching longing in them, a yearning that was only part passion. She felt it in his hands, in his lips, in his possessive arms. Then his eyes closed again, as if he realized he had revealed something private. She closed hers, too, absorbing the almost magical closeness of intimate feelings shared.

Her mouth tightened against his. His body shuddered. His lips left her mouth and moved along the contours of her cheek, hesitating at the corner of her eye. His tongue feathered her cheek, his lips caressing skin now burning at his touch.

“Kira,” he said in a ragged whisper.

Desire ripped through her as his lips moved again, nuzzling her ear, her neck, until she knew nothing but this consuming need for him.

She couldn’t stop a low moan coming from deep in her throat. She’d thought she wanted down and dirty. But this was so much better. An exquisite building of sensations. She shivered with expectation and her hands moved with a fierce tenderness along the side of his neck.

Then, to her shock, he picked her up. She was no lightweight, but he did it easily and carried her into her bedroom. He carefully placed her on the bed, then gently undressed her. As he took off each piece of clothing, he massaged the skin beneath until every part of her was on fire. He was ever so careful about the wound still healing on her side.

She drew a shaky breath, trying to restore calm to a body possessed by a firestorm. Raw lust charged through her, and she put her arms around his neck, pulling him closer until her body strained against his. She felt his arousal and reveled in his soft moan.

Not enough. She wanted more. She withdrew her arms and started unbuttoning his shirt. He unzipped his slacks. Finally he was down to a pair of dark blue briefs. He left her for a second, slipping off his briefs and taking a package from a pocket in his slacks.

He sat down as she lay on her side, watching him. He ran his fingers through her hair, then leaned down again, his mouth caressing her breasts, his tongue leaving a hot wake as it moved from one to the other.

He then arched his body above her, entering with a deliberate slowness that created an aching, agonizing need that made her move against him in instinctive, circular movements, drawing him deeper and deeper inside her.

She felt waves of pleasure wash over her, not only the physical reaction but the unexpectedly exquisite bliss of just being with him, of having him so near. She wanted to capture that feeling forever.

But then his strokes increased in rhythm and power. Her body responded wantonly to his, moving as he did in a sensuous dance that became more and more frantic as they rode an incredible wave that rushed them headlong into an explosion of sensations.

He plunged one last time, then collapsed on her and rolled over until they were both on their sides, both still locked together in the aftermath of their lovemaking. She relished the warmth of his body as aftershocks continued to rock her body.

“Wow,” she said. “I was thinking down and dirty, but that was down and glorious.”

He chuckled. “I never would have thought of it that way.”

She sighed with contentment and snuggled closer to him. “I hope not.”

He kissed her. “You always surprise me.”

“That’s good. I hope.”

“Oh, that’s very good.” He hesitated. “Feeling better?”

“I feel like I’ve been in a tornado, tossed from one momentous event to another.”

“I’m not sure I want to be linked by both events.”

“Oh, there’s something to be said about going from the bottom of the valley to the top of the mountain.”

“God, I love you,” he said. He paused, then said, “I’ve never said those words before.”

She wouldn’t believe that coming from anyone else. She did believe them now. She touched his face. It was just a wee bit bristly with late-afternoon beard. It was really quite beautiful. And sexy. But then, everything about him was sexy.

She kissed him slowly, very slowly. This time it was all her being the seductress.

He made her feel sexy. Very, very sexy.

He took her hand as she came up for air. “There are things you should know …”

She squeezed her fingers around his. She wanted to show him nothing would make a difference.

“Do you ever do anything halfway?” he asked.

“I try not to. Don’t you?”

The phone rang. She didn’t want to answer. She had to answer it. It could be the hospital.

She reluctantly rolled away from him and answered the bedside phone.

“Kira?” It was Leigh.

She straightened up. “What is it?”

“I had to turn off my cell phone when I was at the hospital. When I turned it back on, I had a message from the hospital. My blood tests show I’m compatible to give a kidney to your mother.”

Stunned, Kira couldn’t even answer for a moment. Everything she wanted, prayed for, wished for, even lied for.

“Kira, did you hear what I said?”

“Yes. What … what are you going to do?”

“I said yes. All we have to do is convince your … my … mother.”

“When?”

“In the morning. I already talked to the doctor. He needs a few more tests. He’s arranged to take more blood first thing in the morning. Has something to do with making sure there’s no infections, et cetera.”

“Bless you,” Kira said.

“I think I already am—blessed.”

“Where’s Chris?”

“Standing next to me. And now he says I have to go to his house and get some sleep. I couldn’t be … home tonight. Not alone.”

“Good. He and Archie will take good care of you.”

“I’ll like that.” She sounded tired and sad.

“What about the horses?”

“Seth found someone to see about them. He likes horses, too. He’ll be careful … more careful than I was.”

“Does he know?”

“Everything? Not yet. I have to tell both Seth and David that they have a new cousin.”

“Good.” She hesitated, then added, “Leigh, thank you. You’ll never know how much this means to me—”

Leigh cut her off. “Thanks for not driving off today. I think he would have killed me. He apparently was obsessed with being a Westerfield, not that it’s made many of us content. It’s not a happy legacy, Kira.”

“I’m beginning to understand that. I have Chris’s number. I’ll call if I learn anything.”

“Tomorrow then.”

“Good. Meet you there at eight a.m.”

She hung up.

Max sat up. “Leigh … is she okay?”

“Better than okay. The lab tests came in this afternoon. She’s a match, and she’ll donate a kidney.”

He just smiled. “I had a feeling she would. She just had to do it in her own way.”

“This will make us sisters of a sort. I always wanted one.”

“Well, now you’ll have cousins as well.”

She shook her head. “I still can’t believe it. So much, so fast.”

Then she came back to the present. “You were saying … before the call …?”

“That can wait. You wanted to see your mother.”

She nodded, suddenly mortified that she had been so distracted from doing what she always did. “What time is it?”

He looked at his watch. “Nine. Is it too late for visiting hours?”

“They’ll let me peek in. She’ll be worrying about me … especially if she’s heard anything from staff or on the tube.”

He massaged her back. “I think we both need showers first.”

“Together,” she said.

“I like that idea.”

So did she when he stood and she led him into the bathroom. He was beautiful, if a man could be called that. Lean and muscled. She was still amazed he wanted her. Had even said the L word. But then, they had been in a life-and-death situation. That did strange things to one’s psyche.

Once inside the shower, he turned on the water and held her. She was still a little self-conscious about her naked body. She wished it was more perfect. Yet he touched her as if she were pure gold and every bit as wondrous.

Steam filled the bathroom and filtered through her as well. Their bodies fit as the water washed away the bad memories and refreshed the very nice ones. Her body started reacting to his again, and his to hers. But she had to get to the hospital tonight.

She took the soap and washed his back, then his chest. He in turn did the same. Nothing in her life had been so seductive, so incredibly intimate. He was the one who cut off the water, then toweled her down.

When he finished, he wrapped the towel around her and combed out her damp hair. “My God, but you’re beautiful. Your eyes are always so alive, your smile so real. You take on the world, but on your own terms.”

“I lose a lot of battles.”

“I don’t think you ever lose. You merely have setbacks.” He kissed her on the tip of her nose. “Let’s go.”

They hurried then. She found a pair of slacks and a dark blue blouse that deepened the blue in her eyes. He caught her hand as they left.

No more guards. Her fingers tightened around his. He stopped, leaned down, and kissed her, slowly and possessively.

“Ah … what you do to me, lady,” he whispered.

She didn’t have time to decipher that remark. He ushered her to his car. They were on the way.

It was ten before they reached the hospital and went up to the acute care unit.

She led the way to the nurse’s station. “I know we’re past hours but …”

“We heard about the shooting, Ms. Douglas,” the duty nurse said. “No one said anything to your mother about it, but I’m really glad to see you. I think she lives for you.”

“Thanks for not saying anything. I just didn’t want her to wake and worry about why I haven’t been here.”

“Go on in. Just don’t stay long.”

“How is she doing?”

“Holding her own. I expect she’ll be a lot better after seeing you.”

“We may have a kidney,” she said, unable to contain the news. “I found her biological daughter. She’s been tested and she’s a match.” The words just exploded from her. She wanted to run out and down the hall announcing the news.

“Have you called the doctor?”

“Yes. I just found out an hour ago. They’re conducting the last tests tomorrow morning.”

The nurse beamed. “I’m really happy for you. Mrs. Douglas is one of our favorite patients.”

Kira went into the glassed-in room of the pod. Her mother’s eyes were open over the oxygen mask. Kira lifted it. “Hi,” she said.

“I was worried about you.”

“I know. Something happened today.” She had to tell her mother something. Not everything. Not the tense life-and-death moments in the barn, but that Leigh had been attacked and incurred some minor wounds.

“Then it’s over,” her mother said.

“Yes.”

“I’m so glad you’re both okay.”

“Mom, she’s a match. She wants to give you a kidney.”

“No!”

Kira had already prepared her speech. She’d prepared it ten days ago when she’d been tested.

“I never thought you were selfish,” she said.

“Don’t try to play me,” her mother said. “I told you …”

“When I thought I might be able to give you a kidney, it was one of the happiest moments I’ve ever known. My worst day was when I discovered I couldn’t. It’s incredibly selfish of you to deny either of us that chance. It’s particularly selfish with Leigh. She never knew you. She hasn’t had a mother since she was six years old. No father, either. Are you going to let yourself die, never knowing her or allowing her to know you? It’s not fair to her.”

A tear started down Katy’s check. “It’s not unfair. She’s young. If anything happened to her remaining kidney …”

“Then we will find another one for her. She’s going to be here in the morning, Mom. Don’t break her heart.”

Her mother didn’t answer, but Kira knew from her eyes she was at least reconsidering her position.

Kira leaned over and kissed her. “The nurses said I could only stay a moment. Just wanted to say I love you.”

They all met at the hospital early the next morning. The doctor had already looked over the results. “We need to do more testing on Ms. Howard, but it does seem we have a match.”

Leigh went into the room. Katy Douglas—her mother—was awake. Kira had already filled her in on the conversation she’d had with her—their—mother the night before.

Katy was sleeping. Leigh touched her hand, and Katy jerked awake, then focused on Leigh. She held out her hand. “I am so glad you’re safe, you and Kira. I’m so happy you’re friends.”

Leigh took it. It was so frail. It was her mother’s. Her heart beat rapidly. She had a chance to save this woman’s life. A sense of wonder spread through her.

She suddenly understood that all the guilt she felt all these years didn’t belong to her. It belonged to mistakes other people made. As she looked around the room, she didn’t feel the fear that had haunted her for so many years.

“You know I’m a match for a kidney.”

“Kira told me. I told her I didn’t want it.”

“You’re going to take away my chance to know my mother?” Leigh asked. “I barely remember my mother—oops, this gets messy, doesn’t it? Anyway, I always longed for a mother, for a family. You’d be doing me no favors by taking that chance away from me.”

“You and … Kira conspired together,” Katy charged.

“Yes, and … we’re formidable.”

Katy searched her face. “You’re sure?”

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”

Katy smiled. It was a smile that melted Leigh’s heart. Full of love and pride. The latter made her heart warm. She impulsively leaned down and kissed the woman on the bed. Not just a woman now. Her mother.

“I’ll go out and tell Kira,” she said.

She left the room and went over to where Kira waited. “She’ll sign the consent forms.”

The three of them—Chris, Max, and Kira—huddled together in the surgical waiting room awaiting news of the transplant. They had been there three hours.

Kira was restless. She’d never been good at waiting. Neither, apparently, was Max. He hadn’t stopped pacing, or wandering down the hall, or getting coffee for them. He was not a still man. Chris, on the other hand, simply sat stoically. Years of police work, Kira thought.

She stood. Things had moved quickly once Leigh was found in good health and determined to be as perfect a match for her mother as anyone could be.

They’d both been wheeled into the operating room three hours ago.

It had been an incredibly busy few days. She’d written four stories so far on the events. Now she was working on a series about organ transplants.

With Leigh’s support, Max was representing Mrs. Baker, who had been charged with accessory to murder. With the agreement of Max and Kira, Leigh planned to use trust money for bail when she was released from the hospital. Mrs. Baker wasn’t a danger to the community. She’d started a string of actions that resulted in murder, but murder had never been her intent. And Kira suspected that Rick hadn’t needed that kick. That he’d just been waiting for an opportunity.

But in the days since the shooting, the explosive lovemaking between Kira and Max hadn’t been repeated. It was as if Max had looked into an abyss and backed away. Maybe he still worried that she would take Leigh’s inheritance, although she had absolutely no interest in it. She hadn’t earned it, and it was tainted by generations of tragedy. She had what she wanted. A kidney. Her mother back.

“It won’t be long now,” Max said as he held out yet another cup of coffee.

But it was. Probably another hour. And her anxiety deepened. What if there were complications? What if the kidney didn’t take? What if …

She looked up, and Max’s eyes were on her. They were expressionless, just as they had been when they first met. She didn’t even want to think what emotion her eyes held. Hurt. Anger. He’d awakened something in her, given her a hint of what they could have, and now seemed to be withdrawing away.

“Let’s go for a walk,” he said.

“I don’t want to leave …”

“Chris will get us.” Chris had gone from being Burke to Chris in the past several days. He’d worked on Mrs. Baker’s case and felt as they did—that a prison term wouldn’t do anyone any good.

Kira didn’t want to go with him. She was glad he was here. No, her body was excited that he was here. It was acting in irresponsible ways. It was her brain that was trying to be responsible, that warned her that she’d known from the beginning that he would be short-term. She didn’t want to trust him with her emotions again.

But he took her arm and guided her out, and she didn’t want to make a scene. Not now. Not here.

He led her down a hall to a small room. She suspected he’d scouted ahead. She’d discovered he was always prepared. Once inside, he closed the door.

“I’ve tried to stay away from you,” he said. “I can’t. But you have to know everything about me. It will probably come out eventually, and I don’t want you touched by it.”

“Touched by what?”

“Payton isn’t my real name. I legally changed it when I was twenty-one Ed Westerfield helped me do it.”

She didn’t ask why. He was about to tell her. Her breath caught in her throat.

“I was Joe. Joe Cantwell. The name probably doesn’t mean much to you, but it was all over the newspapers years ago. I killed my dad. Some police officers thought I killed my mother as well.”

The floor started to fall under her. “Was that what pointed the police toward you?” she asked. She hoped her voice didn’t tremble as much as she feared it did.

“Yes.”

“What happened?”

“I was ten. My dad was beating the hell out of my mother. He turned on me, and Mom hit him with an iron. He took out a knife and stabbed her. I grabbed his gun and shot him.” He said the words coolly. Dispassionately. As if it had happened to someone else.

She hurt for him. Desperately. For him. For that boy all those years ago.

She waited for him to continue.

“My father had a long, violent record, and I had a juvenile one. He would disappear for weeks, leaving us without food or money. I would sometimes lift a package of hotdogs or a box of cereal. I was caught twice.”

“You were only ten.”

“Yeah, but my mom died, and no one wanted me. I was a troublemaker. I was put in a group home. Then a series of foster homes, each one worse than the last. At sixteen, I ran away. Lived on the streets, then a streetwise con told me how to get a new identity. Max Payton. It sounded like class to me.

“By then I discovered I didn’t want to be a petty thief. Or drug dealer. I found a job as a janitor at Westerfield Industries, went to night school, and got my GED. Ed discovered me reading when I should have been scrubbing floors. Instead of firing me, he took me under his wing.”

“I think he got a good deal on his investment,” she said, her voice trembling.

“If it becomes public … Westerfield attorney murdered father.”

“I don’t care about that. You were a kid.”

“There’s another reason,” he said quietly. “I come from a long line of abusers. My dad. His father. From what I hear beyond that. It seems it’s passed on from father to son.”

“Not always. Not even usually,” she said. “I’ve done some articles on it.” She peered up at him. “Is that why you never married?”

He shrugged. “I never met anyone I really wanted to share my life with. Until now.”

“And now you want to scare me away?”

He smiled then. “No. But you had to know.”

“Why now?”

“I was going to wait until after the surgery, but I want you to … know that I’m here for you. If you still want me.”

That was like asking her if she wanted the moon and stars. She’d always been attracted to him. More than attracted. But now she admired him more than ever. She reached up and kissed him, long and hard. “I want,” she said simply.

A knock at the door interrupted his reply.

Chris opened it, looked from one to the other. “Glad you guys got things straightened out. You both have been looking like hell.”

“Is there news?”

“Both came through just great,” Chris said with a grin.

Max put his arm around her shoulders. “Let’s go see our family.”

She looked up at him and blinked. A few weeks ago she had a dying mother. No one else in the world. Now her mother would be with her for a long time. And she had a sister. Of sorts. Probably a brother-in-law of sorts, too.

And Max.

She wrapped her hand in his. “Let’s go do that,” she said.