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CW: Grieving, loss
She is one... the only one.
As the day turns to dusk, the sky fades from orange and pink to a hazy purple that quickly darkens. Horizontal streaks of large, shadowy clouds scatter themselves as the moon, Selene, appears in all her glory. The night garden comes to life, as the crickets invite the dance to begin with their orchestral prelude. Sunflowers and poppies hug themselves tightly and bow their heads in reverence as the night bloomers awaken. Heady perfumes infuse the air with scents of jasmine, spicy honey, vanilla, and sweet chocolate. The bees and butterflies begin to disappear, but not before the changing of the guard takes place. Moths and bats arrive to take over the pollination duties and anxiously await their cue, knowing soon they will be prey and predator, battling for the same nectar and possibly for their very lives.
The moonflower gently unfolds its large, white petals and glows in the light of Selene’s radiance. In the centre of the trumpet-shaped blossom, the Night Pixie is revealed. Asteria sleepily stumbles out of her poisonous, yet protective, bed, hits the ground, and quietly mumbles curses under her breath as she curls up for another moment, not quite ready to embrace the night. She rubs her eyes and slowly opens them. Moonbeams she will never see reflect in their milky, grey-blue opaqueness. If you look deep enough, you will see tiny galaxies in her eyes, but do not look too long, for she will know.
Deep indigo locks of loose curls fall from her head to below her waist in a slightly messy manner. She stands and summons a light mist of rain, which forms a barely-there, sheer tunic that surrounds her body, leaving her arms and legs exposed. Her subtle, sparkling silver wings emerge, and the night commences.
Asteria trips over the same rock she forgets about almost every night, then lazily pirouettes through the tiny rain lilies as they open to acknowledge her presence. She stops and listens for her favourite bird to greet her from above, and tries to remember where she left her cane, or as she likes to call it, “The Wandering Cane.” It helps her navigate on her adventurous walks through the gardens, but sometimes has a wanderlust of its own. This morning, Mother GiGi has requested her company, so Asteria decides not to waste any more time and relies on her other senses to guide the way.
Selene has diligently watched over Asteria since the day she was left in her care many years ago. Her mother knew she was different and would never survive in the harsh sunlight of the days. Her mother also knew of her unique abilities, which could only thrive in the eventide. She was her only daughter, and her very existence depended on this sacrifice. She named her Asteria, in honor of the night goddess of oracles and falling stars, and gave her to Selene to raise and train. Remarkably, Asteria had many of the same gifts as her namesake. Oneiromancy, a gift of dream prophecy, being one of these. She awakened this evening knowing she must visit her dearest friend and mentor tonight. It must be tonight, during the very rarest of blue moons.
Since she has lost her cane, she decides to take a quick flight instead of walking, which is her normal method for this trip. She loves being close to the earth, feeling the moss and ferns tickle her ankles as she passes by. It makes her feel at one with her world to run her toes over the smooth pebbles as she walks on them. For the most part, she has gradually removed any particularly rough or jagged ones, but occasionally runs into one here or there. She collects these to remind herself that the rough patches allow her to grow. Behind her moonflower is a giant pile of rough patches. Perhaps someday she will build a sculpture, or maybe an artistic garden wall, but for now, it’s just a pile of potential.
Tonight, she must fly. She must gather the courage from within and listen to all the clues to guide her on this journey. Every time Asteria flies, self-doubt tries to talk her out of it, but then she does it anyway. She does not see Selene watching her every move, but she feels the intense gravitational pull of her, redirecting a minor miscalculation now and then. She does not see the stunning iridescent blue of the dragonfly circling her and leading the way, but she hears the fast hum and buzz as she journeys with him.
Asteria giggles as she hears the silly coots below her, signaling that she is close to her destination. Their unusual sound, somewhat like a bicycle horn, makes her laugh every time she hears them, and reminds her that all creatures are proof that the universe has a giant sense of humour. The coots are little black water beings that are neither bird nor duck, having both a beak and webbed feet. She feels Selene guide her to Mother GiGi as she quirkily flits through the air. Watching Asteria find her way through her eternal darkness with such a sense of joy amuses Selene and makes her shine just a bit brighter with pleasure.
Mother GiGi honks twice and Asteria lands gently by her side, nestled deep in the reeds. The grandest of Canadian geese, with her tousled feathers that have definitely seen better days, wraps her wing around her friend to warm her. They quietly sit together for a while, feeling no words are necessary, and they gaze out over the silent pond, one seeing and one knowing. Selene paints a beautiful picture on the still water, and Mother GiGi describes every detail to Asteria. She tells her how the light frolics and shimmers, how the darkest depths of the water are brought to life by the illumination, and how one could not exist without the other. Asteria is intrigued by the juxtaposition of it all.
They decide to go for a swim to celebrate the blue moon. Asteria perches on Mother GiGi’s back as they slowly and gracefully make their way to the water lilies, and Asteria jumps onto the closest one, barely making it to the lily pad. Mother GiGi grabs the stem from below the surface and carries it in her bill, pulling her fearless friend alongside as they chat and reminisce about their many adventures over the years. Both of them feel an unbreakable bond of a rare and wonderful friendship.
As they near the centre of the pond, a gentle fog blankets them with peace. They hear the owl above and the quieting of the crickets. The frogs have now taken over the nocturne, and a bat swooshes over them as it captures a moth. Asteria spontaneously feels the need to dance on the lily pad in celebration. GiGi quietly watches and smiles to herself as the midnight hour approaches. In a low and raspy voice, she says, “Be still with me.” Asteria nods with respect and sits cross-legged in the middle of the beautiful red lily. After a moment, Mother GiGi lets the stem fall back into the water and says, “I love you.”
“And I love you,” Asteria replies.
The majestic goose glides away in solitude, towards the moon, so effortlessly that not a ripple is made. No one knows how old she is, only that she has always been here, serving them all as matriarch. As she fades into the mist, a great silence spills forth over the water and surrounding land. A brilliant light from the moonbeams fills the fog. Every creature of the night is frozen in the stillness as they watch Mother GiGi fly like she hasn’t flown in years, up the moonbeams. She is magnificent and elegant. As she reaches Selene, she gently kisses her cheek and then she is gone. Tears emerge from Selene’s eyes, turning into falling stars, filling the night sky with a spectacular show like none other before.
Asteria does not move for the longest time, feeling the vast emptiness surround her. All activities have ceased, waiting for Asteria’s signal to resume some kind of normalcy, but she cannot do so. The snowy owl sweeps down and gently lifts her, carrying her back to Mother GiGi’s nest. She covers herself in loose feathers, and falls asleep in their comfort. A family of quail surround her and diligently watch over their night pixie. Wild dreams fill her restless mind. Vivid images of Mother GiGi, who now has the face of Asteria’s true mother, a periwinkle-haired pixie with the gentlest smile, float through her dreams as clearly as if she could see. There is also an awareness of an unknown being lurking on the outskirts of her garden. So many visions swirl in her head. She is not afraid. An overwhelming curiosity lights her soul on fire and sends sparklers throughout her entire body. Once again, she knows this is real, but does not understand what it all means. She drifts listlessly in and out of this dream state, and suddenly awakens to the sound of the mourning doves breaking the silence of the night. Asteria startles abruptly and panics because she must return to her moonflower before it closes. As she stands, she stumbles over the missing Wandering Cane. This makes her chuckle and say, “Thank you, Mother GiGi.”
She chooses a lovely feather and puts it in her hair, behind her ear, then quickly makes her way home. She arrives at just the right moment, that magical moment between waking and sleeping, for all of nature, no matter which side it may be on. As she allows herself to breathe for a moment, the loneliness creeps in. The knowledge that she is the only one of her kind engulfs her with a heaviness she has never felt before. Tears flood down her face, covering the entire garden in a glittering morning dew as she crawls back into her trumpet bed. The petals wrap her in a tight hug as they close around her, feeling her loss, and protecting her from the coming daylight.
Upon this cue, life reverses back to day, and the night creatures disappear. They will never forget this night, nor will they forget Mother GiGi. The Night Pixie must continue to reign over the dark, and spread her magic to all those who love her, but she will always feel as if a part of her is missing.
Just outside the borders of her garden, behind a very old lilac bush, he stands, quietly watching her for the thousandth time, maybe even more, and wonders to himself if this will be the day... or perhaps night, he finds the courage to enter her world.
