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When Blake joined her in the room, his glare shredded her from the inside out. She didn’t want this to impact him, but there was no choice. Not that it mattered, since she was planning to let he and Hare take each other on. He looked like he’d aged ten years since this morning, with the shadows under his eyes, his ruffled hair, and a day’s worth of scruff on his chin.
“You can’t pull bullshit like this.” His voice was sharp.
“Like what? I thought I was being given space to do this thing.” She tried to look casual and apathetic, but guilt wormed its way out.
He growled. “No, you didn’t think that.”
“It was worth it.”
“Not if we haul you out of here tonight.”
Panic surged through her, and she bit back a plea. He winced. She must not be hiding her doubt as well as she wanted.
“I can get you what you want,” she said.
“Jabberwock.”
Technically, yes. “No. Dormouse and Hare.”
He pulled out the chair across from her and dropped into it heavily. “We could have had them anytime. That’s not a tempting offer, and if it’s all you’ve got, your deal is off.”
“But you make them vanish, and Jabberwock has lost all three generals like that.”
“You don’t think he’s got people waiting in the wings?” Blake asked. “My money says he’s already got someone pegged to be Gryphon.”
“I think, if the two of them go MIA after talking to me, and based on your recent departure, he won’t know where they’ve gone or why. He’ll wonder if the other two have turned on him, and who else he can’t trust. That means going on alert. Closing ranks. Making mistakes.” It wouldn’t work that way, because of who Jabberwock was, but she was running out of ways to cling to her freedom.
He stared at her for several seconds, searching her face, mouth twisted in a scowl.
If she didn’t think they had an audience, she’d drop the false bravado. Beg him to please understand.
Instead, she stared back, wishing she could convey something with her eyes.
He stood, leaned over the table, and unlocked her cuffs. “You’ve used up your strikes.”
“That’s what you said last time.”
“I’m not leaving your side until this is over.”
She shook her head. “You want Hare to come to me? I can’t be seen with you.”
“You’re about to walk out of a police station, having only been held for a few hours, after meeting with—let me guess—Dormouse?”
So much for the clever disguise. Then again, Hatter probably knew Dormouse better than most people did. “Yes.”
“She’s going to know you’ve got some sort of deal going on,” Blake said.
Don’t change your mind now. Let me go. Too bad she didn’t have Force powers. “She already does, but she doesn’t have details, and she wants them. I told her I’d only share with Hare. If he’s going to approach, he won’t do it with you there.” Actually, she didn’t know that. Hare was a difficult man to second-guess. He might like the challenge of Hatter being by her side.
Or he might blow a gasket and kill them both. She hated that she couldn’t anticipate those odds. She’d feel safer staying with Hatter until this was all over, but it was too big a risk. “I should get going.”
He frowned and gestured at the mirror. A second later, there was a buzz, and he opened the door.
Would she see him back in her room any time soon? She hoped so. It was a dangerous thing to wish for, but she wanted that illusion of security wherever she could find it.
She didn’t dare interact with him in any significant way, to find out when he might be guarding her again, while other people were watching. “See you next time they bring me in?”
“I’m going home to crash as soon as I’m done here, and I’m off for the next week. Someone else on my team can bail you out tomorrow if you do this again.”
So much for this being her final strike. She could wait a week to see him again, as long as Hare didn’t get to her first.
An ache pinged in her chest at the thought this might be the last time she ever talked to Blake. How long until her luck ran out with this insane plan to use her knowledge of Jabberwock’s identity to buy her freedom?
A few minutes later, she walked out of the police station. If nothing else, it was nice to not spend a night in a cell. It was almost midnight. What was she supposed to do, to pass the time, and how antsy would her tails get if she didn’t go back to her hotel?
Seeking out Blake felt like putting them both at too high a risk.
Someone slammed into her, knocking her back and sending her sprawling to the cement.
“Sorry. So sorry.” Someone offered Reagan a hand up.
Reagan looked up, and recognition spread through her. Ten of Diamonds.
Ten winked. “Gotta run. Sorry again,” she called over her shoulder as she jogged into the night.
That was so suspicious. The problem was, Reagan didn’t know what she was supposed to take from the encounter. Was that a warning? A brush-off? Something else?
She went back to her hotel. She didn’t sleep, and she spent the next day inside. It made her itch to be confined to the small room, but she told herself it was her choice.
Around dinner, she emerged. If Hare was going to approach her, he’d wait until he thought he was safe. She had no idea if that would happen tonight.
She skipped the Chinese restaurant tonight and found a diner instead. A place she could sit for a couple of hours and drink coffee, and not look suspicious doing so.
By the time eight rolled around, she thought she might jitter out of her skin. Maybe she should have skipped that last cup.
She went back to her hotel and waited. No Blake. No Hare.
The next several days were a repeat, with the except that each passing out cranked her anxiety up another notch. She wasn’t sure how long she could hold out if this kept up.
By day six she thought she might tear her hair out. Day seven, when someone knocked on the door joining her room to the next, she wanted to praise whatever God heard her. It didn’t matter who it was, as long as she was doing something different.
She answered, and the moment she saw Blake, stepped aside. Relief spilled through her.
“You’re playing a dangerous game. Do you realize that?” His tone was kind, despite the gruff greeting.
She didn’t, at first. It took much longer to sink in than it should have. It was pretty difficult to ignore now. “Yes.”
“I’m glad you’re all right.” He took the same seat he had the other night, undid the top button on his shirt, and loosened his tie. “You are, aren’t you?”
“All right? I think so.” Part of her wanted the comfort of the other night, and more of her wanted to erase all her thoughts. Replace them with something more visceral.
She settled for keeping her distance.
He studied her. “I won’t bite.”
“Not even if I beg?” That wasn’t what she meant to say.
“Come here.”
She crossed the room. When she drew close, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his lap.
The abrupt gesture startled her.
“Is this better?” he asked.
It shouldn’t be. So help her, it was a really bad idea given how much she enjoyed the security and assumption of it. “Yes.”
“Good.” He placed a finger under her chin and turned her face toward his. His kiss was a brush of feathers across her lips and ended too soon. “I missed you. That’s probably fucked up, but it is what it is.”
“Then we’re fucked up together.” She leaned in, to rest her head against him. At this angle, ear pressed to his neck, she heard the rapid thrum of his pulse. Given everything she’d been through, this didn’t seem like a smart attachment to make. He’d lied as much as anyone. Was as much a part of this mess. Would be gone the moment she broke away.
That didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy the closeness tonight.
“You scare me.” He trailed his fingers through her hair. “In so many ways. Also, I liked you better as a redhead.”
“Blonde wasn’t my choice.” And in few days, she’d probably be a brunette. She refused to read anything into his other comment.
His chest rose and fell beneath her, the steady rhythm soothing fractured nerves. “There’s no scenario here where you walk free. Not any that Homeland Security or Jabberwock envisions.” Blake’s voice was sad. “You’ve figured that out, haven’t you?”
“Yes.”
“And you can’t run while they’re watching you.”
“No.” She wouldn’t spill her plan. It was hers. The key to getting away. Not to safety—she’d be looking over her shoulder for a long time—but to being out from under anyone else’s constant gaze and control.
He nudged her forward so he could look her in the eye. “What are you up to, Alice?”
The nickname didn’t bother her tonight. The affection behind it was sincere. It would be easier to do what she had in mind with him. Someone who had experience vanishing off the grid. Who had information about how both operations worked. Fuck it. That was her, trying to rationalize. She didn’t want to leave Blake behind. The thought wasn’t reasonable, but that didn’t make it easier for her to unthink it.
“If you’re running, I’m going with you,” he said.
Yes. Okay. Let’s go now. We can ditch your friends, can’t we? “Why?”
“Because I’m sick of this game. Playing both sides... I can’t do that again, and I can’t go back to field work or a desk job, especially the kind of shit detail they’ll give me if I lose you. But that’s all secondary. I care about you. It’s been a long time since anything meant more than going through the motions.”
She didn’t know what to do with the confession. It wasn’t as though he’d said he loved her. She didn’t even think he was holding something like that back, though it might become love if they stuck together.
What if this is a trap? Their way of finding out what I’m really up to? Then she was done. If this was how they got their information, she couldn’t play or second-guess anymore. Every step of the way from here on out would be risk filled. This was another one of those instances.
“Yes,” she said.
He cupped her face between his palms and kissed her hard. A thread of desperation lay underneath, intertwining with security. She dug her fingers into his chest and kissed back, memorizing the moment. The way two days of beard scuffed her chin. The cotton under her fingertips. His scent, clean and spicy, and the tick of the clock on the wall, dancing with the traffic outside.
She shifted her position to get a better angle, and he grew hard underneath her. He slid one hand to the back of her neck. His calloused fingers on her sensitive skin sent tingles dancing over her. She wanted this moment to last forever. It was safe here. She knew the rules. She liked the other player.
When they broke apart, her lips were tender and swollen. He traced a finger over the bottom one. Affection shone in his eyes in the low light.
“I was top of my graduating class, you know.” His words barely reached her ears.
“Oh yeah?”
He nodded. “And I’ve seen your IQ scores. Your entrance exams.”
“I feel like you’re about to make a point, and this isn’t as random and un-sexy a tangent as it sounds.”
“I am, in fact.” He tangled his fingers with hers. “We’re about to do something really stupid, for two people who are supposed to be smart.”
She shook her head. “We already did the stupid stuff. Now, we make the best of it.”
“Did you know, if you pay the desk clerk the right amount of money, you can get a key to any adjoining room in this place? I bet you did.” Hare’s voice shattered the mood and spilled ice over her. “Sorry. Bad timing on my part?”