THE COPS RUINED dinner. Any way you sliced it, a romantic evening was not in the offing with ballistics experts digging bullets out of walls and detectives taking witness statements.
The detective taking Herbie’s was rather arrogant. His attitude gave the impression he didn’t believe a word Herbie said.
Of course, the fact that they had Herbie’s rap sheet didn’t help.
“The man said you owed him money?”
“That’s what he said.”
“But you don’t?”
“I don’t even know who he is.”
“If you don’t know who he is, how can you be sure you don’t owe him money?”
“I don’t owe anyone money.”
“That’s a rather broad statement. Couldn’t you have some debt you forgot about?”
“He said I owed him ninety thousand dollars. I’d be apt to remember that.”
“And he slapped your rap sheet on the table?”
“That’s right.”
The detective held it up. “This is your rap sheet?”
“I told you it was. I pointed it out to you.”
“You committed all these crimes?”
“Hardly any of them. You’ll notice most of the charges were dismissed.”
“This one wasn’t. Assaulting a police officer.”
Herbie said nothing.
“Do I have reason to be alarmed?”
“Only if you scare easily.”
“How did you assault the police officer?”
“I kicked him in the balls.”
The detective took a step back.
Herbie glanced over at Yvette. She was remaining calm, but he could tell she was less than happy. All this had happened before they even had appetizers, and Yvette had to be getting hungry, because he was.
“Look, guys,” Herbie said, “I understand you have to keep me because I had the misfortune of being assaulted in a public restaurant, but there’s no reason to punish the young lady, who had absolutely nothing to do with it. Why don’t you take a statement from her and let her go?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” the detective said ironically. “Were we inconveniencing you? We wouldn’t want to interfere with the dinner plans of you fine folks just because someone showed up at your table and fired a few shots.”
Dino Bacchetti cocked his head in the detective’s direction. “Sam?”
The detective saw who it was and snapped to attention. “Sir? Did you need something?”
Dino’s smile was frosty. “Come here, will you?”
“I think we’re about to get the VIP treatment,” Herbie whispered to Yvette.
“Oh?”
“Dino didn’t like the tone the detective was taking. I think they’re discussing proper etiquette now.”
“I see.”
“I’m afraid it’s not going to get us dinner.”
“That’s all right.”
“No, it’s not all right. This was our engagement dinner.”
“Don’t worry. The wedding’s still on.”
“I’m glad to hear it. Are there any deal breakers involved here? If they lead me away in handcuffs, for instance?”
Yvette’s eyes twinkled. “I suppose I should keep my options open. I didn’t know you were such a criminal.”
“Oh, dear.”
“What?”
“Your eyes are sparkling. It’s the Robin Hood effect. Girls can’t help falling in love with an outlaw.”
“Were you really an outlaw?”
“I was just young. And I had no money.”
“You stole things?”
“No.”
“What did you do?”
“I took borderline jobs.”
“Like what?”
“Like taking pictures of a cheating husband with the other woman.”
“In bed?”
“I was supposed to.”
“What happened?”
“I got arrested.”
“Oh?”
“I never said I was a good outlaw.”
“Oh, dear. Maybe I should reconsider.”
“You can if you like. But I’m giving you an engagement dinner, one way or another.”
“Just not tonight. Tonight we’re having takeout.” She favored him with a coquettish smile. “And I’ll show my studly little outlaw how lucky he is to be dining at home.”
The detective returned in time to hear that.
Herbie found himself blushing furiously.