Chapter Twenty

 

It was a stolen morning with Phillip before the next day’s social calls commenced. They’d made love most of the morning and then dressed to share a brunch and lounge in her drawing room, pretending as if nothing beyond the walls existed to effect their lives. He read the paper while she sorted her correspondence and wrote in her journal.

The quiet held an allure all its own and Serena finally looked up to survey him, handsome and lean, his expression serious as he absorbed an editorial on land reforms.

“I must stop this,” Serena said.

Phillip looked up. “What are we ceasing exactly?”

“This. It’s dangerous, you know. If I had any common sense at my command I would truly exile you until after…it won’t be much longer and I will be entirely free, Phillip. Why can I not be sensible when it comes to you?”

“You are the most sensible person I have ever met. Besides, I am already exiled, remember?”

“Hardly,” she countered with a smile. “I would not describe you as a man banished to isolation these days.”

“It’s the turning point, isn’t it?” He set his paper aside and crossed over to pull her into his arms.

She didn’t answer him at first.

“No more secrets.”

Serena yielded, looking up at him. “Yes. If I don’t drop the reins, then I stand at the precipice.”

“Tell me again who is jumping off cliffs and how deadly the fall.”

“Do you trust me, Phillip?”

“I do absolutely.” He reached out his hand to stroke her face. “Why? Why would you ask?”

“You may hear some gossip in connection with myself and…with Trent. I confess I’ve deliberately fueled most of it with an eye to—encouraging him.”

“What am I going to hear?”

“Probably a rumor that I am madly in love and likely to be Lady Trent.”

“Oh, God! To which generation have you supposedly lost your heart?”

She shrugged her shoulders very prettily. “The rumor is a bit non-specific.”

“He could be strangling Adam as we speak, my darling.” Phillip released her and crossed his arms, a dark cloud furrowing his brow.

“Not likely. I have given the man a great deal of hope and his pride and confidence will fill in every gap. No matter what anyone hints, he will make up his mind and paint himself the victor.”

“Until he isn’t?”

“Right up until the moment he isn’t.”

Phillip gently seized her upper arms, capturing her against his chest. “All right, Raven. Where? When? Tell me exactly.”

“Pardon?” she asked, innocently feigning confusion.

“I’ve stood by long enough and while I won’t directly interfere, if you think I’m not going to be present when this revelation hits Trent, you have lost your senses. I will be there to ensure that he doesn’t snap your neck if nothing else. Do you hear me?”

“He won’t snap my neck.”

“That wasn’t the main point I was trying to get you to acknowledge, Raven Wells.”

“Fine. You will be there. You deserve to see it as much as anyone. But you will stay hidden from him until it’s over, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Very well. I will stay hidden. I will behave. I will do everything I can short of being invisible at this damn gathering but you have yet to answer the where and when.”

“It will happen at Milbank’s masked ball.”

“How is it possible I didn’t anticipate that it would be so soon? You said it was days but somehow I’d pushed it all out.” His grip on her arms tightened. “And what if Sir Tillman hears this rumor and starts crowing a bit? What if he is offended to find out that it isn’t true and makes a scene when you tell him otherwise? He could be the threat you haven’t anticipated.”

“Phillip, you’re overthinking it. If Adam has heard it, he will disregard it or—“

“We are on a first name basis with Sir Tillman, are we?”

She said nothing for a few long seconds. “If you wish to accuse me of something, then do it. But we are not going to play this game, Warrick. Your jealousy of Sir Tillman is understood. You made no effort to hide your dislike of the man.”

“I don’t dislike him.”

“Then stop growling! No matter what Sir Tillman believes, it won’t amount to smoke after Milbank’s, yes? My business with Trent will conclude and all will be revealed. I’m sure part of that chaos will involve an end to my friendship with Adam.”

Phillip nodded slowly, his expression grim. “So long as you are not ended.”

“Very well. Milbank’s. But you’re to attend unarmed, Phillip.”

“No firearms.” He held up one hand as if a man taking a solemn oath.

“No knives, poisons, or rabid dogs?”

Phillip struggled not to smile. “You are too clever for me. I will leave that twitchy terrier pup I was going to smuggle inside my evening coat in the carriage.”

“That’s my dearest love,” she said then leaned forward to kiss him.

A knock at the door interrupted them and they both stepped back before Quinn made his appearance. “Lady Lylesforth to see you, madam.”

“Thank you, Quinn. Give us just one moment and then by all means, escort her up.”

Phillip sighed. “I’d complain more if I thought it would change anything. You’re sure you’ve told me every—“

Serena punched him lightly on the arm. “I have told you everything I can! Now, Harriet is coming. I’d prefer not to have to explain you, Phillip.”

“There’s an idea!” He leaned over to tease kisses along the nape of her neck. “I could linger and play the fortune hunter, cause a scandal of my own, and trump the upcoming disaster in one fell swoop.” His teeth gently nipped her skin as he spoke and she shivered with pleasure, her weight shifting against him to savor the contact. “What say you, Lady Wellcott? May I ruin you?”

“You are wicked, Sir Warrick,” she sighed. “And I am already ruined.”

“Then let me love you to restoration,” he said.

“Go!” She pushed away from him. “Leave. It finishes in just three days and we will navigate together from there, I promise.”

He kissed her hand and obeyed her one last time. “I will hold you to that promise, Raven.”

She nodded and he left through the side door, just as he heard the other reopen as Quinn brought in her friend. He retreated as quietly through the house as he could, praying that this would be the last time he would feel like a thief sneaking away from her arms.

Lady Lylesforth sat across from her, her usual dark plumage doing nothing to mute her beauty. Serena studied her friend and then sighed. “I wished to meet with you to reveal that this week at Milbank’s costumed ball—it will be no ordinary social outing.”

“No? In what way are we deviating from the usual course?”

“I want my chaperone to be particularly distracted and lax in her duties. You must dance and be quite occupied.”

Harriet pressed her lips together, pursing them in disapproval. “Don’t be ridiculous. I do not dance.”

“You must.” Serena set out the small tray with the sherry between them and then smiled at her friend’s shock. “Now, now. One small sip with tea will not end you.”

“What are you up to?”

“I want to have a drink with a dear friend to thank her for all her help and support. I want to make sure that you understand that my plans with Trent will probably come to their natural conclusion that night.” Serena waited patiently as her announcement settled against Harriet’s heart.

“Oh,” Lady Lylesforth exclaimed softly, pressing her hand against her heart. “Will it be…dramatic?”

Serena nodded solemnly. “I certainly hope so.”

“Is there anything else?”

Serena took a few minutes to give her the details of her role and a short list of the other Black Rose members she would need to educate during her social turns through the rooms. “If it goes the direction I desire, a chorus of opinion will seal his fate.”

“I will see to it. But I am not going to pledge to dance.”

“As you wish. I want to try to keep you clear of the blast.”

“Is there to be an explosion?”

“Not literally,” Serena said as she poured them both small glasses of sherry. “Though Lord Trent may have a different impression.”

“I feel only a little better knowing that there will be other allies for you in that room. I would feel a great deal better if I were more confident of you calling on them for aid when the time comes.”

“You cannot have everything you want, Harriet.”

“A lesson I am well versed in, Serena.” Harriet’s eyes flashed with rare mischief. “But I can come close.”

“How are your little beauties?”

“I love their dark sweet faces and darling noises. I cannot imagine my days without my pugs, Lady Wellcott. But then, I have you to thank for—“

Serena reached over to gently squeeze her hand. “Your happiness is thanks enough. One day, when it is all said and done, I shall think of you and the women of the Rose and it will be more than enough to see me through.”

“Nonsense. There are debts that can never be repaid.” Harriet’s smile faded. “I don’t care what you claim about shedding our woes. When I think of the burdens you carry for all of us, it makes me shudder.”

Serena released her hold and sat up, stiffening her back with a sigh. “If I truly carried your burden, then you would be wearing pink. Don’t think I don’t know what goes on in that head of yours! You divert yourself with rules and punish yourself with widow’s weeds for a man you loathed because you don’t feel as guilty as you think you should.”

Harriet blinked back tears. “I did loathe him. I wish I could stop hating him.”

“You need to fall in love, Harriet.” Serena held up a hand to stifle the inevitable protest Harriet was about to blurt out. “You pretend to hate all men but that hardly seems useful. You need to give in to a passionate love. Not a polite, cautious thing, not a social exercise in a proper courtship or an acceptable match. You need to lose yourself in a man’s arms and discover the magic of a ridiculously heated tumble.”

“I—I most decidedly do not!”

“Life is not life if you do not break the rules, my friend.”

“That is precisely the sort of thing people say who write their own rules and seek to convince others to do the same.” Harriet stood, shifting her bustled skirt to prepare to leave. “A man is the last thing I need, Lady Wellcott, of that you can rest assured.”

Serena smiled, standing as well. “As you say.”

“I will see you at the ball.”

“Yes, my dearest Dragon. I will be there, no fear.”

 

When the door bell rang at six, Quinn brought Adam into the first floor drawing room as directed and Serena signaled for the door to remain slightly open as a scant nod to the requirements of propriety.

“Would you care to sit down, Sir Tillman?” She sat next to him on the settee, a respectable distance but in a far more intimate arrangement than she had ever allowed Trent. “I’ll admit I’ve been fighting feminine curiosity ever since you asked for this interview. I’d accuse you of using a ploy or snare but the purpose of that deception was even harder to guess at…”

“I’m sorry. It was not my intention to cause you any anxiety.” He let out a long slow breath. “I wanted to talk to you about Lord Trent.”

“Lord Trent?”

“His interest in you grows more tenacious by the day. I thought to dissuade him from bothering you but instead, I fear I’ve spurred him on.” Adam shifted on the cushions. “It’s as if any mention of your name is taken as an open challenge of his powers.”

“His interest?” She held very still. “What possible interest could he have in me? Perhaps you have misunderstood?”

Adam shook his head firmly. “No. There is no mistaking his intentions. He has laid plans to marry you.”

“He never has!” Serena pressed a hand to her heart. “That’s preposterous!”

“He’s set on it, Lady Wellcott.”

“Why have you taken it on yourself to…tell me of this?”

Adam’s eyes darkened. “Honor would dictate that I say nothing against him but I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit politely quiet while events unfold. Uncle Geoffrey is not entirely sane. Weeks in his company and I have no doubt when it comes to his capacity for erratic behavior. This is no playful flirtation, Lady Wellcott. There is something wrong, some sharp fault in his character that…” Adam leaned forward, the sincere concern in his face beyond question. “I don’t know where this will go but I don’t want to see you harmed.”

Serena’s heartbeat accelerated and she prayed that her skill for theatrics could sustain her. “You are very kind to think of protecting me but—I hardly think Lord Trent is capable of more than a fit over a lost card game. Sir Tillman, perhaps he is threatened by your youth and vitality and it affects his mood? You are seeing the uglier side of his temperament, I fear, but the face that I have seen is quite familiar.” She smiled, a woman calm and in control. “The man I have encountered clings to bachelorhood like a drowning man to a raft. He derides any hint to the contrary, Sir Tillman.”

Adam wasn’t having it. “No. Hear me. There is no logic to any of this. Why would he play the disinterested fool to you and then screech about his own library about how I am the poacher who trespasses on his hunt?” He briefly pressed his hand to his forehead, steeling himself for speech. “I do not mean to shock or offend you, Lady Wellcott. It is a grim and messy business.”

“It is.” She nodded slowly. “Not the language I would expect to hear connected to a courtship, sir.”

“No. On that, we agree.”

Serena sighed. “He did call without warning the other morning. It was a strange visit but I—“

“What morning? When did he make this call?” Adam asked.

“Saturday.”

“Damn it!” Adam cursed then she read the instant regret at the slip on his face. It was endearing and made her stomach hurt. “My sincere apologies, Lady Wellcott. I didn’t realize he’d gone out without me.”

He’s a good man. He’s being so careful with me, so protective and watchful. But he cannot be allowed to stop Trent. I have to reassure him enough to stand aside…and to keep him from Geoffrey’s reach.

“If you have appointed yourself as his chaperone, you may be in for a terrible chase,” Serena said. “He’ll treat it like a game of hide-and-seek simply to torment you, Sir Tillman.”

“What made the earl’s visit strange, Lady Wellcott?”

“I am embarrassed to say it but he made an unsolicited offer of a loan. Apparently, the earl is convinced that I am penniless and intent on stealing your inheritance.” Serena smoothed out her skirts, blushing. “So you see, I was once again to be schooled in my ineligibility though this time in the guise of an offer of charity. Hardly a romantic pursuit.”

“That makes no sense.”

“No. But for the sake of clarity, let me say once and for all, I have a substantial income, Sir Tillman. I own several properties, employ nearly a hundred servants and…well, without providing a financial accounting of myself, I am decidedly not a pauper. I told your uncle the same.”

“What is he up to?”

“Keeping me out of your path, I suspect. I’m sure he thinks a woman is easier to steer than a grown man who knows his own mind.” She studied Adam’s face. “He can speak without a nod to civility to me without fear, but to you…he should mind his step.”

Adam’s smile held no warmth. “He has no right to be unkind to you. But may I ask you something terribly frank?”

“Of course. I think we’ve gone too far in this conversation to turn back now, Sir Tillman.”

“Why don’t you hate my uncle?”

“Pardon?”

“As a man who was once your guardian, his behavior is stinging to behold. He’s like a charming rabid dog and I can’t help but wonder how you could not feel that sting and not—hate him just little bit for it?”

“You don’t think I hate him a little bit?”

“You are always smiles and lightness in his presence. It’s disconcerting.”

Serena held her breath, refusing to drop her gaze. “It’s a sign of my cowardice, Sir Tillman. I know how cruel he can be. I know it firsthand. If I am light and smiles, it’s because I fear that moment when his humor fails and he forgets to try. I am entirely human. I hate him more than a little bit, sir. But that is my burden to carry and I see no advantage to letting him or anyone else know how much.”

“I shouldn’t have pressed you on this. I’m sorry. It is wrong but you wouldn’t believe the flood of relief I’m experiencing to hear it from your lips. At least I know you will stay safely out of his clutches—and we’ll just let him rail all he wants.”

“Please don’t repeat what I’ve said. I shared it as a confidence because of our friendship.”

“Your secrets are safe with me and I find that I am coming to think of you as one of my best friends in this world, Lady Wellcott.” He caught her hand. “I want nothing more than to keep you safe.”

Serena’s heart hammered against her ribs. It was ridiculous. She should be melting against him and encouraging all of it as part of the game, but there was something so vulnerable in his eyes and she was alarmed at the heat that surged through her frame at it.

“As your friend, I should remind you that you are…I am not…I think you should hold hands with a more suitable young lady…or…”

Adam kissed her, a tender thing that had more of an inquiry in it than a commanding statement. For Serena, it was strange and surreal. She was still aching from an afternoon spent making love to Phillip, her body still sore from the exercise but Adam’s touch evoked desire all the same. Her desire was raw and visceral, without any emotional edge. There was no history here. No dark past. No baggage or guilt.

She pushed him away.

“Forgive me.”

“There is nothing to forgive. The fault is mine. Entirely mine.” Serena turned and ran from the room, from Adam’s arms and the betrayal of her senses. She bolted up the stairs of her house to the sanctuary of her bedroom in a race to outpace her tears and the tangle of her emotions.

He was innocent.

But I am not! I am most decidedly not.

**

“What’s happened? You look ill.” Pepper set aside the dressing gown she was carrying, hurrying forward to see to her mistress. “What’s wrong?”

“Why did I ever promise to keep no secrets from Phillip Warrick?” Serena pressed her fingers against her cheeks. “I cannot…share my feelings with Phillip, not without risking a terrible misunderstanding. I think the days of revealing my thoughts to the man have been suspended for a time.”

“Is it Sir Tillman?”

Serena nodded miserably. “How can I thoughtlessly crush a dozen men and laugh, but now—it’s all changed. I hate it. I hate every lie I am forced to tell Adam and every lie I am forced to tell Phillip. And I cannot help but wonder…”

“Say it.”

“That if my life had been different, if I were different, if—Adam Tillman is precisely the sort of man I would have set my cap for if we’d met my first London Season and if Phillip Warrick had never come to Oakwell Manor.”

“Except you don’t have a cap. It’s firmly in Sir Warrick’s possession. That’s a lifelong love, isn’t it? Like they write about in those novels you roll your eyes when you catch me reading, and you know it.”

“I know it. I love Phillip so much that it robs me of breath.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound pleasing.”

“It’s a tangle. Loving Phillip has made me kinder…softer. So now I feel guilty about Adam! It’s all Phillip’s fault!”

“Oh, that’s stuff and nonsense!”

“You’re right. It’s no one’s fault but mine. I knew I liked Adam and admired him altogether. I should never have allowed him to kiss me.”

“What?! He kissed you! There was kissing? Was it lovely?” Pepper squeaked.

“Pepper!”

“Well? A maid has a right to ask these things!” Pepper protested without a smidge of apology in her sparkling eyes. “I’d warrant it was a good and proper kiss by the way you’re hissing and spitting over there.”

Serena gave her friend a warning look. “Trent is destroyed, Adam goes on to marry an heiress spun from sugar, Phillip loves me and I reclaim my sanity. That is the only outcome I will accept.”