8
Flying Toilet Paper
THERE WERE FOUR toilets in the bathroom, but we only took two rolls. We figured we had better leave a roll or two there. Graham and Tiny both hid a roll under their shirts, and we hurried back to our cabin. We stayed up and played cards, waiting for everyone else to go to bed. Toad came by and checked on us at around nine thirty.
“Lights out in five minutes,” he said. We turned them off and climbed into our bunks, pretending to sleep. I did such a good job pretending that I actually fell asleep. Luckily, Graham woke me up.
“What time is it?” I mumbled. I couldn’t tell if I had been asleep for five minutes or five hours.
“It’s almost midnight,” Graham said. “It’s time to move.”
I rubbed my eyes and got up. Slowly Tiny opened the door and we crept outside. There was just a sliver of a moon, and while the stars were bright, it was still really dark. We giggled softly, thinking about what we were about to do, and headed down the path. Suddenly, we heard a familiar voice.
“Hey, Toad Claws, what’s going on?” It was Toad.
“Um, hi, Toad. Where are you going?” Tiny asked. Toad said he was on his way to the staff cabins. Then he asked us again what we were doing. I had a sick feeling inside. I knew we were busted.
“Okay,” I said. “We were on our way to toilet paper the Muscular Monsters’ cabins. Well, David’s cabin.” I was so nervous I started talking faster and faster. “It’s just that David is so mean, and then today when he switched Tiny’s and Graham’s underwear, we just thought we’d—”
“Shhh.” Toad put his finger to his lips. “You’re going to TP the Muscular Monsters’ cabins?”
“Yes, but we’re sorry. We won’t do it. Please don’t punish us,” BB pleaded. We didn’t want to get stuck cleaning the toilets, which is what happens if you get caught outside after lights-out.
“That’s Flex’s patrol,” Toad said. He looked around and rubbed his hand through his hair.
“Well, just promise me you’ll go straight back to your cabin after you’re done.”
We stood there, confused. It sounded like he was actually telling us to go ahead with our prank. Graham raised his hand like we were in school.
“Excuse me, but are you saying it’s okay if we—”
“All I’m saying,” Toad interrupted, “is that I never saw you tonight.”
Toad began to whistle, and he started down the path to the staff cabins without saying another word. I remembered how Flex had made that mean comment about Toad earlier, and I wondered if Toad was secretly happy we were pulling a prank on Flex’s patrol.
A few minutes later we reached David’s cabin armed with our toilet paper. Graham wanted to be the first one to throw a roll. He was standing behind me. He pulled his arm way back, and Tiny, BB, and I looked up to see where the roll would go. Suddenly, I felt a smack on the back of my head.
“Ouch!” I yelled, in my loudest whisper. Graham had hit me with the roll of toilet paper. Luckily it was made of, well, toilet paper. Otherwise it would have really hurt.
“Sorry, hermano,” Graham apologized. “I guess my aim was a little off.”
I knew he was sorry because he called me hermano , which means “brother” in Spanish. We only use hermano when we’re really serious, like when one of us is sorry for hitting the other one in the head with a roll of toilet paper.
Tiny picked up the roll. “Can I try?” he whispered. “I’ve never done this before.”
“Sure,” I said. “Try to throw it to the top of that tree.” There was a tree right next to the cabin, and I thought it would help him to aim at it. Tiny looked awkward as he pulled his arm back. I could tell he probably didn’t play baseball. But when he threw the toilet paper it flew through the air like it was shot from a cannon. It soared up and over the tree and just kept going until we lost it in the dark sky.
We all stood there and stared into the blackness. “Holy cow, where’d you learn to throw like that?” I whispered loudly.
Tiny held up his hands and examined them. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t know my own strength,” he said. “I’ll go find it.” Tiny disappeared into the trees. BB had the other roll.
“So who wants to throw this one?” he whispered, holding it up.
“Go ahead,” Graham said. “You do it.” BB looked at the roll and then looked at the tree.
“Okay, ready or not, here goes.” BB threw it perfectly, and it landed on one of the highest branches. But instead of unrolling as it fell, it just dropped down to the next branch and then fell onto the cabin roof. We all held our breath, hoping David and the others didn’t hear the roll land.
“Oh great,” I whispered. “That was our last roll.”
BB hung his head. “Sorry, guys.”
I tiptoed toward the woods where Tiny had gone to find the other roll. I motioned for BB and Graham to follow. Tiny was still searching. We looked around for a few minutes but finally gave up.
“Hey, where’s BB?” Graham said quietly. We looked around, but he was nowhere to be found. We walked back to the front of David’s cabin and called BB’s name softly. Suddenly we heard the door creak open. We were about to run when we saw BB tiptoeing out the door.
We froze in our footsteps. I couldn’t believe BB was coming out of David’s cabin. What had he been doing in there? We could see he was carrying something white in his hands. He had a big smile on his face. As he caught up with us, I realized he was carrying two pairs of underpants. We hurried away from the cabin and back to the main trail.
“No way.” I laughed. “Are those what I think they are?”
“David’s underpants. At least, I think they’re his—they were under his bunk. Can you believe he only brought two pairs?”
“Nice work, BB.” Graham high-fived him. “I didn’t know you were so sneaky.”
“Well, when you catch bugs you have to be very quiet and extremely quick,” BB replied proudly.
“What should we do with them?” Tiny asked. We thought for a moment, then snuck over to the big statue of a bear standing upright by the lodge. We put one pair on his head like a winter hat and stuck the second on the front of the bear so it looked like he was wearing the underpants. We stood back and covered our mouths to muffle our laughter. Then we hurried back to our cabin.
We tried to fall asleep, but every time one of us drifted off, someone else would start giggling. Then we would recount the whole evening again. It was one of the best nights of my life.