Raymond and Graham: Cool Campers

I FINALLY CLOSED my eyes for what seemed like only a few minutes before I heard the morning gong. Toad was outside singing some song about getting out of bed. I think he was making it up as he went along. Tiny came bounding down from his bunk, and BB was already putting on his shoes and socks.

“I didn’t do it!” he mumbled, with his eyes still closed. “That bear already had underwear on his head.” Finally, he woke up. “What’s going on? What time is it?”

“It’s morning. Time to go see if anyone has noticed the new wardrobe on the grizzly statue.”

“Did everyone sleep well?” Toad looked straight at us and smiled. Once the whole patrol was standing outside, Toad announced the day’s activities: eating breakfast and then hiking up Mount Grizzly. That evening, the girls’ camp would be joining us for a marshmallow roast at the big fire pit halfway between the cabins and the lodge.

“So let’s go get some breakfast, Toad Claws.” Toad led the way, hopping down the trail. I don’t know how he always had the energy to hop around all the time. We all followed, but we got tired of hopping about halfway there and walked the rest of the way.

As we got closer to the lodge we saw a bunch of kids gathering around the statue and laughing their heads off. We didn’t see David anywhere.

Fuzzy made his way through the crowd and pulled the underpants off the bear. He turned and held one hand up to quiet the group.

“Okay, the show’s over.” I couldn’t tell if he was angry or not. It kind of looked like he was holding back laughter.

“Does anyone know who these belong to?” He looked at the tag, but there was no name. Everyone looked around, but no one answered. I noticed Zach and a couple of the other Muscular Monsters giving each other looks. Fuzzy gave us a lecture on respect for others and about Grizzly pride.

“Well,” he added at the end, “if any of you finds out you’re missing your underwear, you can pick them up from the lost and found.”

Aside from the brief lecture, I was relieved he didn’t seem too mad. Toad walked up to us and said quietly, “You guys wouldn’t know anything about this, would you?”

Graham and I looked at each other. “Well, let’s just say the toilet paper didn’t work out so well,” Graham said.

Toad held up his claw finger, squinted one eye like a pirate, and said, “Har, your secret’s safe with me, Toad Claws.” We both let out sighs of relief.

We got in line for breakfast with Tiny and BB. While we were eating Fuzzy announced that we all needed to be on our best behavior that night when the girls from Camp Wildflower visited. He said we had to let them get their marshmallows first, and also that we should offer to get them some punch. “Remember, they’re our guests,” he said.

Once we finished our breakfast, Toad gathered the Toad Claws together by the flagpole. He had two water bottles for each of us to bring on our hike. It was going to be a mile and a half up and a mile and a half back down. Then he gave us some great news.

“This is perfect!” Graham said. “All we need to do is become friends with him, and popularity and coolness will be ours. Remember to say dude a lot.” After all the TP and underwear excitement, I had forgotten about saying dude.

“Yeah, I thought so too,” I added. Graham gave me a stare like I was forgetting something. “I mean, I thought so too, dude,” I said. Graham smiled and nodded.

We started up the trail. Along the way we stopped to look at certain plants that Toad pointed out and took a lot of breaks. We were only allowed to go as fast as the slowest hiker. That was usually Carl. About halfway up Mark took his shirt off and wrapped it around his head like a hat. Graham and I hurried to do the same. If that’s what cool people like Mark did, then that’s what we did.

Toad led us in some songs as we hiked. Toward the top it got really steep, and we were getting tired. Our singing slowed down until we were too tired to sing at all. Graham and I were even too tired to call each other dude.

But at last we made it to the top, and it was well worth the climb. It seemed like you could see forever. Toad and Twig, the Fighting Eagles’ counselor, had brought sandwiches for all of us in their backpacks. We each found a rock or a log to sit on and ate. Graham and I sat on each side of Mark.

“Duuude,” Graham and I said together. The word dude began to take on a whole new meaning for us. You could use it any time. If you were amazed by something, instead of saying, “Wow, look at that. It’s so cool,” you could simply point and say, “Dude.” And if you didn’t like the sandwich you ate, which I didn’t, you didn’t have to say, “Yuck, that tasted terrible.” You could just make a sour face, shake your head, and say, “Duuuude” really slow, which I did.

As we started to head down the mountain, Mark turned to Graham. “Dude, you might wanna put your shirt back on. You’re looking kinda fried.” Graham was getting pretty red except for his freckles. They were turning green.

“Nah, I’m cool,” Graham answered. I knew there was no way he was putting his shirt back on unless Mark did too.

When we made it back to camp, it was almost dinnertime. We had spent most of the day on the mountain. In the cabin, Graham finally tried to put his shirt back on, but by then he was so sunburned he could barely move.

“Check it out!” Tiny pointed to Graham’s chest. There was a weird, pale shape in the middle of his sunburn. We all stared at it, trying to figure out where it had come from.

Now Flex appeared on the scene. “David, get back in line. I’ll take care of this.” He walked up to Toad. “I understand your little tadpoles were responsible for last night’s prank. I expect an apology to the Muscular Monsters.”

“What makes you think it was my guys?” Toad asked, although he knew it was us. “Did your boys do something to the Toad Claws that would make them want to play a prank on your patrol?”

Flex stood there, puzzled. He obviously didn’t want to admit that one of his boys pulled the first prank. “Well, I hope you guys had your fun. Because at the Olympics on Friday, you’re going to wish you hadn’t messed with us,” Flex said.

“Oh yeah? I’ll bet you the Toad Claws beat the Muscular Monsters,” Toad offered confidently.

“The bet is that the losers have to wear underpants on their heads to the award ceremony tomorrow night!” I looked around at the Muscular Monsters. Most of them were bigger than us, and probably stronger too.

I was just about to step up, apologize for what we did to David’s underwear, and end this whole silly bet when BB shouted, “It’s a bet!” The rest of the Toad Claws cheered.