Chapter 21

Dave was exhausted. He took a sip from a muddy stream and sighed.

“What is it now?” asked Ian.

“Nothing,” answered Dave. “I’m just worried about the chipmunks.”

“Still?” said Ian, disgusted.

“Yes, still! They’re still lost and I’m still worried about them.”

“I don’t know why you’re so worried,” said Ian. “I mean, alive they’re superstars. Dead … they’re legends!” He grinned. “We’re talking back-catalog sales, tribute albums, pay-per-view funeral…”

Dave looked horrified. “Hold it right there. You actually think I’m in this for the money?”

“If you’re in it to meet women, you’re doing a lousy job.”

“I’m doing this because I love them, okay? And if something happened to them, I don’t know what I’d do. Fine, go ahead, make fun of me.”

Ian was staring at him, a smug smile on his face. “I can’t. What could I possibly say that would make you feel stupider than you already are? You want to spend the rest of your life chasing after a bunch of spoiled brats, that’s up to you.”

Dave exploded. “They’re not brats!”

“Really?” sneered Ian. “Not even Alvin?”

“You never bothered to get to know them. I mean, sure, Alvin can be kind of a handful, but he means well, he really does. He’s just sometimes a little irresponsible, that’s all. But c’mon: Simon? He’s probably the most levelheaded kid I know. If anything, he’s a little too uptight.”

Dave could never have imagined that at that exact moment Simon was swinging from vines into a waterfall while Alvin was working in the hot sun to build a shelter for his friends. Things had really changed.

“And then there’s Theodore…”

Ian could barely contain his boredom. “Dave, I didn’t care what you had to say about the first two. I can’t imagine the chubby one is going to be any more interesting.”

“You know what? Never mind,” said Dave. “Let’s get going.”

“Now hold on, Dave. I do have one question.”

“What?”

Ian looked thoughtful. At last, he said, “How do you spank them?”

Dave blew up. “What?” he screamed.

“I mean, what do you do?” Ian taunted him. “Lift up their tails or something?”

“I don’t spank them!” said Dave forcefully. Even the idea of it was upsetting to him.

“Oh, okay. Sorry.” Ian smirked. A wicked smile passed across his face. “Not even Alvin?”

“No!” yelled Dave. And he stormed off into the jungle with Ian following him.