I creep to the bathroom,
the one upstairs
so Crystal and the gang
sharing beers in the kitchen
won’t hear.
I have to go,
but just ate a McDonalds happy meal
and guzzled two Bud Lights
this is the opposite of
happy and light
Lifting the seat,
I get down on my knees
gag reflex engaged,
Get those
sweaty empty calories out NOW.
stomach tensing,
it knows the routine.
Expunge the gluttony.
With a cramp I remember
ten squares of waxy chocolate
taken earlier, just to be sure
the miserable happy meal wouldn’t stick.
Come on, Laxatives,
give a girl a break.
Too late to hold back
contractions and
Fuckballs Fuck
my trusty Jordache jeans
fill with heat.