No moon
only yellowed beams
from feeble streetlights.
My back sinks into burnt-orange cushions.
Black thoughts swim and my body
seems far far away.
In the distance
my heart
labors to beat.
thump
thump
I know this is how it ends
for girls like me
who starve, binge, purge.
Desperate bodies feed on hearts.
I tell mine to slow down
thump
thump
so faint and weak
I could cause it to stop by will.
Shallow breaths, even slower.
At my command it
thump
thump,
almost stops,
thump
thump.
Wait!! I don’t mean to DIE!