Solo Performance

My quest for a therapist ends

at the exit.

The college counseling center can’t help.

I’m out of ideas.

Turning to books, I try to read Golden Cage:

The Enigma of Anorexia Nervosa

by Hilde Bruch, MD, but am not

devastatingly thin                       a failure.

Twelve steps are great but AA-style meetings

to me, are an Eating Disorder Rodeo,

stirring me to compete,

who can ride that bull hardest?

I can admit I’m powerless, but no way to

abstain from food. For long.

No boyfriend to

ride in on a white horse

dating paused

until judgment improves

according to Mom’s book,

Cinderella Complex,

I have a tendency to

undervalue my worth,

and an unconscious desire

to be rescued.

My happy ending is left up to me.

Guess I’ll have to solve this one

myself.