Good morning, sunshine.
Look me straight in the eye.
I’m just checking in to ask: what is
the matter with you?
You are such an utter embarrassment
with that accursed ass of yours.
It’s a very simple concept, dear:
Stop with all the eating already.
Time to focus up.
You came to conquer New York City?
Let’s look at all the ways you are failing.
No job. No car. And everybody whispering
“What’s up with that blond chick?”
That’s you.
What the hell is up with you?
Throwing up isn’t working anymore.
Your bloated body is disgusting,
not to mention, I suspect,
puking your own blood is not a very good sign.
But even worse, you will remain
hopelessly humongous
if you don’t just stop with all this damn
EATING.
One thing I think we can agree on:
you are never
touching laxatives again.
Eating disorders are a big tub o’ laughs
until that one day when
you crap your jeans.