Dad is done sleeping on couches,
takes off to New York to pursue
his drinking career because, Mom says,
“Reality is too much for some people.”
But I think in Dad’s case,
Reality just isn’t enough.
We are left incomplete, yet remarkably
afloat.
When the worst happens,
at least there’s no more worrying
about the worst.
~wisdom from Judy Blume
That sensation of holding our breath
preparing for the monsoon
to pull us under, is gone,
replaced with the forecast
that nothing will ever
everevereverevereverever
be quite okay again.
I don’t talk about it
only eat less,
turning it inward
on myself.
Making sure no one
gets hurt by my
RAGE.