Dinner was quiet. Jazz chose to eat in his room, Harmony was out with friends, and Klair seemed distracted. Or maybe embarrassed?
But the pulled-pork sandwiches and spinach salad were the perfect accompaniment for Evan’s questions about Everett’s childhood. He stuck mostly to happy memories of Mom and the dishes she’d taught him to cook, for Klair’s sake.
When the meal was over, Everett felt fortified. He could have a reasonable conversation with Clara, and he wouldn’t lose his temper. He would find a way to be there for her and Jimi without letting Evan down.
But what if she didn’t answer? She still hadn’t responded to his last voicemail. Maybe Clara was more pissed at him than he realized. Maybe—
“Hey, Everett,” she said after the second ring, sounding neither angry nor happy to hear from him.
“Hey!” His mind went totally blank. For an excruciating moment, there was absolutely nothing in it. But then he cleared his throat and found himself. “I’m glad you answered … I wanted to talk.”
“About what?” Now she sounded distant, bordering on cold.
“Anything. I just wanted to connect.”
Clara sighed without replying.
“Is it wrong that I called?” Everett asked.
“I don’t know if wrong is the right word … maybe rude is better?”
“It’s rude to call you now?”
“No. It’s rude to call me with nothing to say.”
“I just wanted to connect before I asked you—”
“We’re connected. Now tell me what you want before I hang up.”
Everett had told Evan he would try harder, but what if no amount of trying would be enough?
“I was hoping we could revisit the conversation about Jimi coming out to Austin.”
“You want to hear me say NO again?”
“I want you to be reasonable. I have family out here now, which means Jimi has family out here now. It’s perfectly reasonable for me to want us all to meet.”
“I’m sure he’ll meet them someday. But it’s not happening now.”
“Why are you so mad at me?” Everett asked.
“Have you checked your email today?”
“No. Why?”
“I’ve filed papers with the court requesting full custody. You should have received a copy in email. You need to sign the forms and send them back.”
“Full custody!”
“Full custody. These are digital signatures. A couple of clicks and you’re done. You should be able to manage it, even with your very busy schedule helping your brand new brother in Texas.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“The fact that you’re even asking me why I’m doing this is why I’m doing this.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He stopped pacing and flopped back onto the couch.
“It means that we’ve had this conversation too many times for us to have it again right now.”
“Why can’t you see how hard I’m trying?”
“I can see exactly how hard you’re trying, Everett. That’s precisely the point.”
It took everything inside him not to yell. “But I am trying.”
“All the way from Texas, too. Amazing job.”
“I just need to finish up here, then I’m full-time dad. I can even take him before the fall. Okay, Clara? You don’t have to threaten me.”
“This isn’t a threat,” she said in her most stone-cold voice so far. “This is happening, Everett.”
“You can’t do this. I have rights, as his father.”
“Yes you do, Everett. And no one is trying to take any of your rights away, especially me. But it’s clear that you don’t really have any genuine interest in being part of Jimi’s life.”
“OF COURSE I—”
“I’m talking.” Clara didn’t raise her voice, but she didn’t need to; the one she was using had ripped into his response like a knife through paper. “You see Jimi as a reflection of you, and he needs to fit into your life.”
“That’s not true!”
“It is true. And until you recognize that you’re doing it, the two of us will continue to have very regular conflict.”
How could he reset the conversation?
“I see how unfair I’ve been in asking you to pick up my slack. But I’ve changed. I’m ready to step up. It isn’t fair for you to focus on my old patterns instead of seeing this new situation for what it is.”
“What is it I’m not seeing, Everett?”
“You’re not seeing that Jimi has family out here.”
“A family that didn’t give a shit about you or him two weeks ago. You can be such a stupid asshole sometimes.” Then: “GODDAMIT.”
Surprisingly, Everett felt calmer than usual in the face of Clara’s anger. “Finding my true family has grounded me. It’s the connection that’s been missing my whole life. You understand that, right?”
“Sure, Everett. I understand.”
“Then why do you keep talking to me like a robot?”
“Because you’re not getting it. If I don’t talk to you like this, I’ll yell at you. I can’t help it.”
“How many times have you told me to grow up, Clara? That’s what I’m doing.”
“Even if you call it ‘growing,’ you’re still putting Everett first.”
“So that I can be a better father. Then we won’t need to change the custody agreement.”
“I’m moving to Tennessee, and I’m taking Jimi with me. Unless you plan on moving too, joint custody no longer makes sense.”
“You’re moving to Tennessee?”
“Yes. To Nashville.”
Everett was crushed. Things would never be the same again and he felt it down to his toenails. “For a gig.”
No response.
“I’m just asking … if you’re moving to Nashville and you’re going to be playing all the time, who will be watching Jimi?”
“You’re in Texas, Everett. And you know who I’m going to leave Jimi with?” She waited a beat in case he had an answer, but he didn’t so she finished. “With someone more responsible than you. That’s who.”
Then she hung up.