One evening, I was driving home from a camping trip in the mountains and my truck started shuttering. Luckily, there was a farm up ahead so I pulled in and stopped. I knocked on the door and asked the farmer if I could use his phone to call for help. Unfortunately, he didn't have a phone way out there. He said I could spend the night in his barn and use his tools to fix my truck in the morning. He even invited me to have dinner before turning in for the night. We had a nice dinner of steak, potatoes, beans and salad.
After dinner the farmer showed me to the barn so I could lay out my sleeping bag on the straw. It was a real nice barn and I was sure I'd get a good night's sleep. Over on the side of the barn was a huge solid steel door. I thought that this was out of place since I had never seen a barn with a steel door let alone one with a door the size of this one. The farmer told me that was where he kept his most prized possession. Just as he was about to leave he turned and asked if I would like to see what was behind the door. Always curious, I said, “Why sure.”
We walked over to the huge medal door and the farmer, after removing a steel wedge from under the door, grabbed the iron ring on the door and pulled it open - creeeeeeeek. There I saw stairs heading down into the dark and I followed the farmer down the stairs - squeek, squeek, squeek.
At the bottom of the stairs there was a large oak door with an iron bolt. The farmer pushed the bolt across - clunk - and pulled the door open - creeeeeeek - and walked through.
Down a narrow, dark tunnel we encountered another steel door with a solid crossbar holding it closed. The farmer lifted the crossbar - groooooan - and struggled to pull the door open – uuumph - and we walked on.
A few yards further on was a clear door made of Plexiglas 18 inches thick. It had a combination lock and I watched as the farmer opened it - 13-66-6 - click, click, click and then swung the door open - swooooosh.
Past this door was a huge cage made of 3-inch round steal bars. But, that wasn't what caught my attention. What I saw was the huge monster inside the cage. It was gigantic! It was covered with purple fur! And, it was asleep.
The farmer said, “This is my most prized possession. Very few people have ever seen it. This is my purple gorilla and you've got to promise me, I mean really promise me, that you will NOT touch him!” Well, I thought that was about the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard. Of course, I'm not going to touch a gigantic purple gorilla! So I promised him and I thanked him for showing me.
Then, we made our way back to the surface. He closed the glass door - swooosh - and spun the lock - click, click, click. He closed the steel door - uumph, - and lowered the crossbar - groooan. He closed the oak door - creeeeeek - and slid the bolt in place - clunk. We climbed the stairs - squeek, squeek, squeek and then closed the giant steel door placing the wedge under it.
Well, I was tired so I laid out my sleeping bag and 'hit the hay' as the farmer went back to his house. As I laid there smelling the fresh straw, I just couldn't stop thinking about that purple gorilla. What a magnificent creature! I wonder why the farmer didn't want me to touch it. Hmmmm, it was asleep so what harm would come of it?
Finally, my curiosity got the best of me and I couldn't fight it any longer. Sure that the farmer was fast asleep, I jumped up and went over to the giant steel door removed the wedge, grabbed the iron ring on the door, and pulled it open - creeeeeeeek. I went down the stairs - squeek, squeek, squeek. I pushed the bolt on the oak door open - clunk - and pulled the door open - creeeeeeeek - and walked through.
I raised the crossbar on the steel door - grooooooan - and struggled to pull the door open - uuumph - and walked on.
I came to the 18-inch thick Plexiglas door and opened the combination lock - 13-66-6 - click, click, click and then swung the door open - swooooosh.
I walked up to the huge cage made of 3-inch round steal bars and gazed at the purple gorilla that was still fast asleep. After pausing for a second, I reached out my hand and I softly touched his fur.
He immediately jumped up and let out a blood-curdling roar, turning and staring at me with huge, blood-red eyes. His fangs over two feet long were dripping with saliva.
Needless to say, I tore out of there as fast as I could! When I got to the glass door, I could hear the gorilla tearing at the bars of the cage. I turned around in time to see him ripping and bending the bars and forcing his way through.
I closed the glass door - swooosh - and spun the lock - click, click, click - and ran on. Just as I was closing the steel door - uumph - I heard the gorilla hit the glass door and it shattered into thousands of shards of glass. I lowered the crossbar - groooan - and ran on. I slammed the oak door closed - creeeek - just as the steel door exploded off its hinges. I slid the bolt in place - clunk - and ran as fast as I could up the stairs - squeek, squeek, squeek. Just as I was closing the huge steel door - ker-thump - the oak door disintegrated into pieces no bigger than a toothpick.
I didn't bother to put the wedge under the door - instead I ran to my truck hoping to escape. As I opened my truck's door, the huge steel door flew from its hinges and the huge purple gorilla sprang out into the yard. He saw me as I jumped in the truck and tried to get it started.
I turned the key and could see the gorilla running across the yard toward me. The truck didn't start. I tried again, and this time the engine turned over and came to life.
Just as I was putting the truck in gear, the purple gorilla reached the door, grabbed the handle and ripped the door completely off the truck. I stomped on the gas, the engine raced, but nothing happened - the gorilla had lifted the truck off the ground and I was helpless.
I just knew that I was going to be torn apart, eaten or worse in just a matter of seconds. I thought how foolish I was to disobey the farmer’s wishes. As I sat there helplessly, that enormous purple gorilla reached into the cab, stretched out his giant hairy hand towards me, grabbed my arm, and said, “Tag, you're it!”
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