CHAPTER 43

“Do you want the good news first?” said Dr. Starr. “Or the bad?”

“Don’t draw it out, Doc.” Siena crossed her arms. “He alive or not?”

Pity stared at nothing, thankful Siena could ask the question she couldn’t.

Olivia had already come and gone with other news: Beau was badly injured but would recover. Sheridan’s mercenaries were dead, captured, or hightailing it out of Cessation. Halcyon had managed to elude capture for a few hours but was eventually found trying to bribe his way out of the city. The contamination of the Tin Men was a trickier situation, and everyone who had joined on in the last year was under scrutiny.

But when it came to Max…

Pity longed to split from her skin, which seemed a size too small and shrinking. Her arm, bandaged at her side, had throbbed like a bad tooth, keeping time with the minutes that ticked by. And yet the moment Starr walked in the door, she was struck by silence, too afraid to even look at his face for what she might see there.

“He’s alive,” said Starr. “That’s the good news.”

Pity’s stomach quivered. Thank you, Lord. But the smile that had formed crumbled a heartbeat later.

“The bad news,” he continued, “is that while I’ve done what I can, a fragment of bullet lodged near his spine. If I try to operate, there’s a good chance he’ll lose the use of his legs, assuming he makes it through the surgery at all. I’m sorry. Even if I had the experience for the procedure, I don’t have the right equipment or resources here.”

Pity catapulted to her feet. “So you’re going to do nothing?”

“I didn’t say that.” Starr crossed his arms. “What I’m going to do is put him in a stasis container and let Ms. Bond take it from there.”

She felt the blood drain from her face. She turned to Siena. “You told Selene.”

“Didn’t have much choice. She overheard enough to start putting it together anyway.” Siena put a hand on her shoulder. “You knew it was going to end like this anyway, kid. If he stays here now, he’s dead. But back east—well, if there’s something Drakos-Pryce has, it’s resources.”

Pity shrugged away. “But if she knows who he is—”

“He’s no good to her in the condition he’s in.”

“Not to mention she’s already given her blessing for Ms. Bond to take him,” Starr added.

“But… he…” Pity searched for another argument but found nothing. If he stays, he’s dead. If he goes, he’ll live. “Fine. But I’m coming with you.”

“Dammit, Jones, that’s—”

“I’m not leaving his side until he’s where he needs to be. And if you try to leave me behind, I’m gonna follow you all the way to Columbia.” She stared down the bounty hunter, her jaw set.

Siena sniffed and shook her head. “Somewhere your mother is laughing her ass off.”

She strode out of the room.

“Can I see him?” Pity said to Starr.

He shook his head. “I’ve already induced stasis—couldn’t risk the fragment moving around. However,” he said with a note of annoyance, “if you’re keen to talk to someone else who should be resting and recovering, stay put.” He held the door as he departed.

Selene entered. Her neck and shoulder were bandaged, and she walked with a cane, but a stately air still clung to her like a warning. She sat down gingerly, regarding Pity much like she had at their first meeting.

A minute of sharp-edged silence passed.

“I’m sorry about Max,” she said finally.

That she sounded sincere didn’t dampen the fury that blazed within Pity, a pyre for the trust she had once put in the woman. “You would have done it, wouldn’t you? You would have put him in a Finale, just to make a point—to show how much control you have.”

“I don’t make empty threats,” said Selene. “You know that. I did what I believed needed to be done.” She paused. “You really love him, don’t you? Sometimes I forget what it’s like to love like that, thinking of only one and not a thousand.”

“You would have tried to make me kill him.”

“For the benefit of that thousand, yes.” Selene sighed. “But that would have been my sin to carry, not yours.”

Something in Pity’s chest tightened. “Sheridan…”

“Speaking of sins? What were you thinking about when you killed him? Max… or Cessation?”

“I was thinking about both.” She felt the quake of the shot again, saw the blood spread. “Sheridan wasn’t going to give up. If he couldn’t control Cessation the way he wanted, he would have seen it destroyed.” A wave of exhaustion crested over her. “I didn’t want to kill him. But I didn’t want him to have the chance to hurt anyone else, or for you to have a chance to…”

“Put him in a Finale?” Selene finished.

“Yes.”

She smiled humorlessly. “Right and wrong isn’t so easy, is it? Sometimes the choices we make are a little bit of both.” Selene sighed again. “It’s been a while since I felt like a fool. I saw Sheridan only as an ally, not as a threat. But I made my choices, and you made yours. And we both paid the price.”

Genuine sadness filled Selene’s face, unlike anything Pity had seen in the woman before. Her anger receded slightly. “Adora. I’m sorry. Who knew?”

“That she was my daughter?” Selene closed her eyes, mouth thinning. “Only Beau, though I think Flossie had her suspicions. I thought if I kept her a secret I wouldn’t have to be afraid for her in the way you were afraid for Max. That I could keep her from ever being a target or a pawn.” A tear rolled down her round cheek, there and gone in moments. “If only she had said yes to Sheridan. I could have died content with that.”

“Except she didn’t,” Pity said. “She was too loyal. And you’ve got no one to blame for that but yourself.”

It was a bitter shot to take, and her only reward was a slight pinching of Selene’s expression. But Pity didn’t need to read the woman’s mind to know her bullet had hit its target. Fresh guilt might have found her in that moment had there been any room left for it among the churn of emotions fixing to shred her to pieces. Even an insincere apology felt beyond her tolerance.

“So what’s going to happen?” she said instead. “When CONA finds out about Sheridan… what I did…”

“What you did?” Selene stood and steadied herself on the edge of a table, her complexion a shade paler than before, her cloak of strength slipping a little. “Patrick Sheridan, along with many others, was tragically caught in a raid executed by an overzealous branch of the Reformationists.” As weak as she looked, a sly smile broke on her lips. “Who, of course, have been receiving support from anti-Cessation elements in the east for ages, despite Cessation being outside CONA control. There are plenty of witnesses who will confirm this.” The smirk receded a bit. “It came at a high price, but this may actually quell our enemies for a time.”

A high price… Pity stared at her boots. It was too high. “And Drakos-Pryce?”

Selene scowled. “When it comes to Alanna Drakos and Jonathan Pryce, they’re getting what they wanted. And I have enough trouble to deal with on this side of the continent. I would appreciate if, as far as they know, no one in Cessation had any idea who Max was.”

“No one did.”

“Let’s hope they believe that,” Selene said. “Max, you crafty little… Between losing him and Halcyon, the Theatre will never be the same.”

“What about the Theatre… now that Halcyon…?”

Selene carefully made her way toward the door. “The Zidanes can manage things for the time being.” She looked back at Pity. “I even suggested that it might be time to retire the Finales, but when the other performers found out what Halcyon had done, they seemed inclined toward one more. A Finale for the Finales.” She paused. “It wasn’t exactly our deal, but given what you paid out for the sake of us all… well, I don’t like owing debts.”

Pity tried to muster some sympathy for Halcyon but found little to spare. “Eva and Marius will do a good job.”

“I know. And once Max is seen to, will you come back here?”

“I think…” Pity closed her eyes. Pools of blood spread across her thoughts. “Max made me promise him, once, that if this place ever started to get the best of me, I would get out. I think, for now, that’s what I need to do.”

“I understand.” Selene reached the exit. “But for all of our… disagreements, you’ve earned your place. Now and in the future, there’s a home for you here.”

Silence stood vigil as the gray container was loaded onto the train. No matter how many times Pity told herself it wasn’t a coffin, that Max was alive inside, the sight made her gut ache. Siena and Olivia stood beside her, and the rest of their party behind them. Dozens had accompanied them to Last Stop like an honor guard, tears flowing freely for both Max and Casimir’s dead.

Olivia squeezed her uninjured shoulder reassuringly. “He’ll be fine,” she said. “Max is tougher than he seems. As for Siena, she takes her coffee black with sugar, and watch her around the bourbon while she’s on the job.”

“She’s only coming along this once,” grumbled Siena.

“And I’m not going to make her coffee,” said Pity.

“Uh-huh.” Olivia stepped away. “Black with sugar, watch the bourbon. I’ll see you when you two roll back around this way again.”

As she disappeared into the crowd, Luster, Duchess, and Garland came forward.

“Take care of him,” said Duchess, embracing her. “And don’t forget to bring me something nice from Columbia, okay? But nothing yellow. Or with feathers.”

Despite it all, Pity laughed, a sound cut off as Garland swept her off her feet and kissed her. Before she had a chance to react, he released her, winking playfully. “That was for Max, when he wakes up.”

“Riiight.”

Luster’s eyes were bloodshot and wet. She stared, began to speak, and burst into tears.

When Pity put her good arm around her, she hugged back so tight that Pity felt every ache and pain all over again. “What I did back in the tunnels… I’m so—”

“Don’t even say it,” Luster begged. “I know. And don’t stay away forever. Neither of you. Whatever he is back east, Max is one of us. You make sure he knows that.”

Suddenly Pity’s cheeks were wet, too, no matter that she thought she had cried all the tears she could that day. “I know,” she choked out, wiping them away. “And I promise—”

“Jones!” Siena now hung from the door of the train. “You coming or not?”

Pity took a deep breath and started toward the bounty hunter. But with each step, a piece of her sloughed off, remaining with the people watching her go. This is what it is, she realized, to leave someplace you belong. To leave a home.

But home is on that train, too, and he needs to get moving.

“Go on,” called Luster. “It’s just a few miles. We’ll see you when we see you.”

“Just a few miles,” Pity echoed and climbed onto the train. “Hardly anything at all.”