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I am carried from his chamber and back to my own by a guardsman who dumps me unceremoniously on the bed and leaves to find his king. I sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed without issue.
“The king said your leg bones are healing and if you chance walking on it, you could be crippled. He warned us that you would jump up and try to run around too soon.”
They help me dress in a pretty blue smock before settling me in a chair with my leg propped up. I have a few bites of bread and cheese to appease the women. My fight with Bash has ruined my appetite. Why did I accuse him of lying to me when he has no reason to? There is a knock on the door before it opens. I frown when Beth-Ann comes walking in smiling like the sun rose for her personally. My bleeding has stopped as Sebastian knew it would and my weakness has lessened considerably. I am ready to get up and move around but I can wait a day or two after being in bed for weeks.
“You look much better today, sister. I thought we could go outside and watch the men setting up for the tournament. People are coming from all around for the games. It is so very exciting! Wait until you see my dress for the ball. I know that I will be crowned festival queen.”
“Not today, Beth-Ann. Go on without me.”
“Are you sure? You have been cloistered away in this chamber since you arrived.”
“And whose fault is that?” I ask bitterly.
“Oh, hush.” She waves her hand dismissively. “We are letting bygones be bygones and starting over fresh.”
“I am not up to people watching today, Elizabeth-Ann. Maybe next time.”
“We have an important guest for dinner tonight. The Lady Audrina’s father is here to offer her to the king. He is not the only one. It has been a year since the queen died and every father with a daughter of stature wants his daughter to grace the throne next.”
It should not bother me after I told Bash that I want my husband, but it does. I think about last night and my face gets warm. I think about sharing his blood and my whole body is on fire. He professed his love for me last night and called me his lady. Today he kicked me out of his bed and hosts a woman who wants to be his wife.
“They will be here until after the games, so you will get a chance to meet everyone when you feel better. Wait until you see the men, Mae. If Nicholas marries Freda and the king marries Audrina, I have a whole army to choose from. I miss my husband and we are the last of our line. It is up to us to marry and preserve our bloodline.”
“You forget that I already carry a child.”
“It is a Beaumont bastard.” She sniffs. “Nothing good ever came from a Beaumont.”
“Christian is my husband.” I say stiffly. “My child is not a bastard.”
“He ended your marriage and cast you aside before your baby was born. That makes it a bastard and no man will want you if you give birth to his child.”
“I have no plans of staying here anyway, Beth-Ann. I am going home.”
“Home to that mountain where we hid you?” She scoffs at the idea. “By yourself? That makes no sense at all.”
“How will I be alone if I am raising my Beaumont bastard?”
Let her think that I am returning to the mountain. I am not going home. Not yet. First, I am going to pay a visit to my husband and when he sees me, he will realize his mistake in turning me over to the rebels. Christian will see how much he means to me and we can be together.
“You can give it to the church to raise after it is born.” Beth-Ann smooths back my wild hair. “I want you to have a good life, Mae. I want you to be happy.”
What she says reminds me of how unhappy I am. I want me to be happy too. And how happy can she be? My sister burned for me. She lost her family and a child because of me. I do not blame her for behaving the way she has. The horror of what happened changed her. It changed the both of us. If my sister wants Nicholas, she will have him. If she decides she wants Sebastian, she can have him also. I will never stand in the way of her happiness.
“I was told that the Beaumont raped you. Is that true?”
Beth-Ann looks around the chamber before answering. “He has the biggest cock that I have ever seen.” Her whisper horrifies me. “I thought he would kill me with it.”
I have nothing more to say to her. I am not angry with her, I am angry with him for being so low. How could he? Forget being a family, I want him dead for using us. My sister is many things, but she is no whore. She would never give herself to a man who is not her husband. She went to bed with Nickie hoping it would bring him around to marrying her.
“The day is wasting.” Beth-Ann understands my need to be left alone. “Rest your leg, sister. I will return later to see how you fare.”
I am sitting here, biting my knuckle and ignoring the blood dripping down my hand when Nickie comes in. He stops in the doorway like he has been struck. It is not until he closes the door and locks it behind himself, when I understand that I should be afraid. His fangs are extended. His eyes are blazing, when he crosses the chamber to where I am sitting.
“What are you doing?” I demand. “Cease this madness, Nickie. Get away from me.”
He grabs me. His bloodlust scares me, and I am in a fight for my life. My useless leg and empty sword-hand prevent me from defending myself against the young blood-taker. The maids flee in terror when he throws me down and jumps on top of me. Nickie pushes his hose down and tears my dress as I scream as loud as I can. He strikes me across my face until, I quiet and continues his assault. He dips his head to bite my throat. I use the last of my energy to shift my body so that his teeth sink into my shoulder instead. I scream again and again. Suddenly, the weight of my terror is lifted away. Nickie is tossed aside and becomes the victim himself. The golden-haired man pounds on him so hard that I know he is going to die. ‘Christian’.
My heart is leaping with joy. It is my husband! The man turns his head when the guards rush into the room. I see his face clearly. As great as my joy was just now, it has fallen flat. This man is not my Christian. His face is handsome, but his eyes are light blue like the sky in summer. Not the glorious green gems that I am so desperate to see.
“Milord!” The captain of the guard pleads. “It is the witch’s blood that tempts him. He cannot help himself.”
“I made sure he did not succeed. Get him out of here.” The man turns and lifts me to my feet. “Should I send for anyone, Milady? Can I escort you somewhere safe?”
“I have nowhere else to go, Milord. I am without protection.”
He tilts my head for a better look at my shoulder. I blush when his tanned fingers brush against my dark skin. This is no Bloodtaker, nor is he a mortal man.
“This needs to be sewn closed. My personal physician travels with me. Come, we will search him out.”
The man presses his silk kerchief to the wound burning my shoulder. He is a stranger that does not feel strange when he offers me his arm.
“I fear my leg is broken, Milord, and I cannot walk.”
“Then I shall carry you.” His boyish smile peaks my curiosity.
“It would be unseemly. “I am Ramsay Antonov. A guest of the king. You have my protection while I am here.”
He picks me up before I can refuse and sweeps me away like a knight in shining armor. I stiffen when we walk past Sebastian who is in the company of a young woman and important-looking men. If he notices us, he shows no signs of it. If he cares, it would be a surprise.
“You are her, are you not? The Payne that I have heard so much about? The woman who had an affair with the Butcher?”
“We did not have an affair. I was his wife.”
“Ahh, it all makes sense now. The witch hunter fell in love with an enemy of the church. It does not surprise me. We sometimes find love in the oddest of places and in the hardest of times. The Bloodtaker king was livid when he found out you were alive and taken by the Butcher. Your powers are invaluable to whoever possesses them. Power and lovely maidens bring out the worst in men. I have enough of both, so you have nothing to fear in me.”
“Ramsay.”
He stops cold, turning around to watch Bash approach from up the hall dressed in his finery.
“Put her down.”
“Her leg is broken.”
“Take her back where you found her.” His eyes focus in the bloody cloth that I am holding to the crook of my neck. “What happened?”
“I found your little brother on top of her chewing on her neck. I gave him the ass-kicking that he deserved, and I am taking her to see my physician.”
“The witch heals herself, Antonov. She has no need of a leech.”
“I offered her my protection as well as she is without a husband or father.”
“You are under her spell and not thinking clearly.”
“You forget Bloodtaker. Witches’ spells do not work on me. I am impervious to sorcery and magic. To me, she is only a woman in need of my assistance.”
“She is a ward of the crown and in need of nothing that you have to offer.”
Ramsay smiles in amusement. “How do you know that? Let the unwed lady decide for herself. Maybe she is in need of a husband now that the Butcher is betrothed to another.”
“Where did you hear that?” I ask this Ramsay character. “We are newly separated. How did he find another woman so soon?”
“It was not hard, Milady. Women line up to marry kings. Ask this one here, he knows well enough.”
“She is not looking for a husband. She carries the Beaumont’s bastard in her belly.”
Ramsay is shocked, then disappointed. “And he let her go? That is odd.”
I give Bash a dirty look. The only reason he told him about my child is to make me undesirable to Ramsay Antonov. He embarrassed me and turned me into the Butcher’s whore by announcing that I am having his bastard.
“Sounds like you need a husband sooner than later.” Ramsay smiles again. “We can discuss it on the way back to where I found you.”
“I am the one that you should be speaking to. She cannot marry without my permission and it is unseemly for her to be behaving this way with you being in the presence of so many unmarried men. I will not have it. Do you know what happens to the loose women around here? They are shared among the men.”
“Loose women?” Am I hearing correctly. “Are you calling me a loose woman?”
“You are in a strange man’s arms after you spent the night with another. Is that not loose?”
I am appalled as I watch him retreat in the direction from which he came. How dare he treat me this way? Ramsay is quiet when he returns me to my chamber where the maids are scrubbing my blood from the floor.
“In the chair near the window please.”
He sets me down and leaves me without another word. Janet rushes over and begins tending my wound while Brandy continues to clean the chamber. I cry when I am alone with the maids because they keep my secrets.
“I know it seems hopeless, but it will work out in the end, Dearie. The king protects his own.”
I bar my door for a full day. It is a waste because no one comes to see me. Day two, I sit staring out at the people milling below. The cleaners are cleaning. The farmers are tending row after row of crop. The men are training in the field and their women watch in the shade. My sister is there with them, laughing and fanning herself prettily with a lace confection that makes me yearn for pretty things. I had pretty things when I was with Christian. He lavished me with gowns and jewels. I choke-up when I picture his face. I wrap my arms round myself and wishing they were his. I wail brokenly and curse him for hurting me. I cry until I am slumped over and hiccuping like a drunk. Janet hums as she brushes my hair with water and olive oil. She braids it and pins it into a neat chignon.
“You should get dressed and join the others for dinner tonight. Sitting in this room only makes you feel worse. It will do you good to be around others.”
“I do not want to eat with them.”
“Hiding yourself away cannot help your situation, Milady. There are whispers that you hide because you are ashamed.”
I lift my head when I hear this. Ashamed of what? Falling in love with the Beaumont of course. They think I am ashamed of my child.
“I have nothing to wear.”
“The King gave the Queen’s dresses to the seamstress for any ladies who find themselves in a situation like yours. I will go down and pick out the best she has to offer.”
When I am sewn into a fancy purple gown with white roses woven in my hair, I am too nervous to go to dinner. The maids cut off the wooden splint and hand me a gold-tipped walking stick, so, I take a walk instead while everyone else is in the hall getting drunk and falling in lust. My maids follow behind me as I stroll along without any trouble. We stop on a bluff overlooking Sebastian’s kingdom. The countryside is prettier than the crowds and smells of the city where Beaumont palace resides. However, the southern end where Christian’s chambers are built rest upon a cliff over Huntington forest. I prefer his view over this one.
The wind whips the dress around me and loosens my hair. I close my eyes and inhale. It feels good being outside again. I welcome the caress of the wind and the kiss of the sunset on my face. I breath in the last golden rays of the day, finding peace where there was none before. Reminding myself of the beauty that life has to offer.
The sunset brings to mind the walks that Christian and I would take at sunset. We walked hand in hand and talked about whatever was on our minds. Some of it was serious, some of it as trivial as the extra pepper in the soup at dinner. I miss holding his hand with our fingers locked together tighter than they needed to be. The flesh of our naked palms pressed together the way our bodies would follow when we were alone. I miss the timber of his voice and the tiny wrinkles that show around his eyes when he smiles. I miss the way he looks at me and the way he kisses me. I miss the way my husband loves me. I miss him. He had our marriage thrown away, but in my heart, he is still my husband.
“One day I hope to find a woman who yearns for me the way that you yearn for him.”
When I look back over my shoulder, I have no idea how lovely a picture I make standing in the wind. My maids take a few steps back but remain in our company for decency.
“We should not be speaking. It is unseemly.”
I have no idea how beguiling and sensual my smile is when I repeat Sebastian’s words. Ramsay Antonov’s easy laughter is different from the hard edges and rough corners that I am used to. He too, is dressed for dinner, but like me, decided to skip the affair.
“I see you are up and moving around with a broken leg.”
“I heal quickly.” I tell him. “I am sure you have heard.”
“I have.” He says. “However, I prefer to find out the truth of matters for myself. Not everyone can be trusted.”
He is wonderfully intelligent and soft where a man should be.
“What are you?” I blurt out. “You are not a man or a Bloodtaker. You do not run with wolves. I would know if you were a warlock or woodsman. Who are you?”
“If I tell you, I will have to kill you.”
Ramsay smiles but his words ring with truth. It is not for me to know. I understand it and I am not sure I want to know anymore. I should not be speaking with a man that I have not been properly introduced, but what can it hurt when my reputation is already ruined? No decent man wants a Beaumont’s leavings.
“I am asking Sebastian for permission to court you.” Ramsay says. “I do not care what he says, but it seems the polite thing since we are both guests in his home. I will leave the final decision to you, Milady”
“My heart belongs to another.”
“You and the Beaumont are finished, and you need a good man by your side. I know you do not need protecting, but I will do it anyway because it is how I am.” He continues. “Sebastian Lockton desires to make you his mistress. Being the King’s mistress is a lofty position if you are unsuitable for marriage. It is not a bad life, if it is what you seek to gain. I offer you a place by my side as my wife. I will make you an Antonov.”
Be still my heart. Surely, he cannot be serious to make such an offer.
“You know nothing about me.”
However, I feel as if we know each other. It is impossible, I know. But I have this feeling that we have met before. Ramsay has the kind of face that will stay with you and show up in your head when you think about handsome men and first kisses.
“You are funny and smart. We can work out the rest. When I want something or someone, I do not waste time with romantics. We can work that out later as well.”
“I am flattered. I truly am, but...”
“What if I can arrange for you to see him?” Ramsay offers. “If you see Christian, and he gives you his blessing, will come home with me then? We can live together for a while first, so that you can become familiar with me and my family, or I can leave you here to be Sebastian’s mistress.”
“You will take me to see Christian?”
“I am meeting with him in two weeks. He wants me to fight on their side when they come for the rebels. I will gladly bring you along.”
“Sebastian will not like it.”
“Lockton is not my king.” Ramsay shrugs. “I answer to my parents, when it suits me, and no one else. You are divorced and can speak for yourself.”
“How do I know you were not sent by the church to bring me in? I have heard rumors about the Antonovs. You used to hunt my kind.”
“That was hundreds of years ago. You cannot believe everything you hear. Rumor has it that you were with the king and his brother.”
I flush with anger. “That is a lie.”
“How do I know it is a lie?” He asks. “Because you say it is so?”
“Yes!” I exclaim. “I never touched Nickie.”
“Nickie?” He smirks.
“It is a childhood nickname.” I briefly explain. “I did not sleep with him.”
“And Sebastian?”
“That is none of your concern.” I snap at him.
“No wonder he acted the way he did when he saw us together. He is jealous.”
“Sebastian is not jealous.”
“Oh, no? He has been watching you since you stopped here, and he is coming this way.”
I look up and find what Ramsay is saying to be true. Bash is riding toward us on his stallion. It rears up before its hooves pound the ground between us. He leans over and lifts me up in front of him.
“Stay away from her, Antonov.”
Bash wheels the horse around before he can respond and gallops away.
