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Princess? How does Ramsay know that Christian calls me Princess? He sits me in the swing next and I am lifted up, and over where I am met by a circle of blonde men all staring at me curiously. I can tell from the blue eyes and matching hair that they are related.
“So, you are the infamous Beaumont witch?” One of them murmurs.
“I thought she would be younger.” Another adds.
“I thought she would be prettier.” A third one says. “Ouch!”
He is rewarded with a punch to his face that sends him stumbling back a few steps.
“Shut your mouth, Wesley.” Ramsay gives him a hard shove. “The woman is our guest.”
“Yes, Wesley. Show some respect.” Another blonde shoves him also.
“You are an ass. Do you know that?”
“You are the ass, Micah. I was only being honest.”
“You are not the best looking of your group either.” I quip.
The men stare at me for a long moment, before bursting into raucous laughter. Beth-Ann giggles uncontrollably and it makes me happy. The one they called Wesley cracks a smile.
“The witch is not pretty, but she has balls. I give her that.”
“Shut up, Wesley.”
Ramsay lifts him by his shirt and tosses him overboard. Wesley hits the water with a splash. The men roar with laughter as I rush to the rail. Wesley is treading water and seems to be unharmed. He is livid, but not drowning. His hair stands out in the black water.
“Goddamn you, Ramsay!” He sputters from the ocean below. “This is a new vest.”
“Fuck your vest.” Ramsay says leaning over the rail beside me. “You will apologize to Miss Payne, Wesley, and behave yourself for the remainder of the trip home.”
“Apologize for what? Telling the truth? Drop the ladder.”
“Not until you apologize.”
“Yes, Wesley. Apologize to the lady.”
“Fuck you, Micah.” He is alarmed by a splash nearby. “Oh hell, there is a shark in the water. Drop the damn ladder, Ramsay. I mean it.”
“Maybe the shark is hungry for ugly vests.” The bearded one chuckles.
“This is not funny, David. The damn thing is circling underneath me. Get me out of here.”
“You heard our brother’s terms. Apologize first.” Micah calls down to him.
“I am sorry, damn it.”
“Now Wesley, what kind of apology is that? The lady deserves a sincere apology.”
I am beginning to think that them leaving him in the water has nothing to do with an apology and everything to do with them torturing their brother. I see a shark fin surface near him at the same time he does.
“I offer my most sincere apology, Miss. Please forgive me?”
“That was not sincere enough.”
Ramsay is torturing him. I release the ladder myself to put an end to it.
“What did you do that for?” Micah complains. “We wanted to see him fight off the shark.”
“You are no fun, Miss.”
The one they called David mumbles before leaving the rail in search of other entertainment. Micah follows him. I walk away too and stand beside my sister whose eyes search the shoreline for a man who is long gone. Her Erikson. A stab of guilt cuts through my guts again. I will forever regret splitting them up. Ramsay hauls his dripping brother over the side when he is close enough. He holds on to his ruined vest.
“You will behave yourself, or you can swim home. Do you understand me, brother?”
“Yes, damn it.” Wesley shrugs out of his grip. “I got it.”
“I will show the ladies where they will be staying. I want this tub moving before we are attacked. I do not want to fight Bloodtakers with women on board.”
“Raise the anchor!” Wesley booms. “Get us the hell out of here!”
“Follow me ladies, I will take you below.”
“I am not tired. I would rather stay here.”
I refuse to go down into the bowels of this ship after almost dying in one not long ago. I would rather stay up top where the air is fresh, and the breeze is cool.
“I want to go to bed. She can stay if she wants.”
I am not going below, because I do not want to fall asleep. Beth-Ann looks more than tired. She looks defeated and drained. The same way I feel without my husband. I do not care what the missive said, he is still my husband. Christian Beaumont will always be my husband.
“Stay out of the way.” Ramsay warns before leading Beth-Ann away with a hand on her back. I cannot help myself as I admire his retreating form. He is so tall and so new to me.
“You like him.” A voice speaks beside me. “My brother is a good man.”
“And who are you?” I ask him curiously. He is hardly more than a boy, with the potential of being as handsome as his brothers when he is finished growing.
“The baby of the family. My name is Ennis.”
“Mae.”
“I know who you are.”
He turns away and disappears. I am sad when he leaves me alone with my thoughts. I stare out at the darkening sky wishing I was home preparing for bed. Wishing I was with the man. A weary sigh escapes me as I place my hand on the small swell of my belly. I need to get home and settle in before my child comes. Being passed around this way makes me feel like a burden, and my child deserves to be born in comfort and safety. My mountain is safe from everyone. I can live there in secret and not have to worry about Bloodtakers who want to steal me, or an Erikson who cannot love me. It is best if I take myself away from everyone where I will not be seen as a threat, or a weapon. I can be a mother. Elizabeth-Ann can have her Winn and start a family. Mother is gone, but we must somehow move on the best way we possibly can.
I stand here at the rail and marvel at the brilliance of the sky as I watch the moon put another sun to bed. The lights go out and it is time for darkness to rule. The stars dance around their mother like wayward children happy to be free to frolic after a long day in hiding. My hand goes to my belly. My joy of being a mother is beaten down and muffled by the loss of its father. Oh, Christian. I plead to the moon as I tremble with heartache. Please. I beg of him if he is listening. I love you. If you still love me, send me a sign. I can hardly eat or sleep. I think of nothing but you. If you do not love me anymore, I will pray to your church that you never forget me, or the child that I will bear for you. It hurts Christian, it hurts so badly. I... I... My thoughts fall apart when I do. I sink to my knees with my face in my hands. Why? Why did you stop loving me? I do not care if these Antonov men see me or hear the gut-wrenching sobs that carry across the quiet night. I do not care about anything-except the Butcher who broke my heart.
No one bothers me as I bleed hot tears and choke on the love that once gave me life. They let me grieve in peace. I am pulled to my feet without warning and hugged by strong arms.
“How long has she been like this?” Ramsay’s demand is directed at the men working nearby.
“A while, Cap’n.” The sheepish man stops what he is doing. “Women cry all the time.”
“And none of you thought to come and warn me that my charge is doubled over on the deck?” He snaps? “Would you have come to me if she jumped overboard?”
“Of course, Cap’n. Ida jumped in after er’. You told us to leave her be, so we did.”
“Leave her alone means let her be but keep an eye on her. Not let her make herself sick.”
“Apologies, Cap’n.”
“And you.” He turns on me. “What happened?”
“Nothing.” I push him away wiping my face with my hands. “Nothing happened.”
“That is bullshit. I want to know why you are crying?”
I cannot tell him that I am crying for a man. I do not have to because, he already knows. His blue eyes soften and his face falls in realization.
“What do you want me to do?” He asks me. “I could send word that you are with me. Would that help? I cannot stand to see a woman so broken. It is in my nature to fix them.” His finger brushes away a stray tear.
I look up at him and I am struck again by his handsomeness. Sebastian, with his dark moodiness and Bloodtaker’s attraction, was made to entice you to your death. The Erikson is too beautiful, in an almost effeminate way with his smooth lines and endless hair. The Antonov is hard, golden, and all man. His blue eyes draw you in, but there is no darkness behind them. Only quiet strength and the promise of a passion that will tilt your existence and make you believe in happily ever after. His kindness and patience makes me sad again. Why is he like this and Christian is like that? Because he was born to rule and bred to kill. He is and always will be a product of the church. There is no room for fairytales in his life. There is no place for me.
“You poor thing.”
The Antonov speaks to me as if I am a wounded bird and not a woman grown. His pity made me lean on him because he is all that I have right now. I cannot help it, when I start crying again. I feel like a wounded bird right now. One with two broken wings and a hungry cat stalking me. The cat being the Bloodtaker that I thought was a friend. I thought he felt the same way I did but that is the way of things. We sometimes learn our greatest lessons through struggle. This strange man holds me like he knows me and whispers like he cares. I hold onto him. I hold him so damn tight that my arms ache. I hold onto this Antonov and I cannot let go. He does not complain or give me the speech that the Erikson might. Ramsay says nothing and lets me cry. What I have is an infection of the heart and mind that must be drained in order to begin to heal. I need to see Christian. I must speak to him again before I can let go.
“How can I help you?” He asks again.
“Please send for him.”
“Would you like to speak to him yourself?”
“He divorced me.”
“If you want to see him, I can make it happen.”
“I do not want to force him see me.”
“You are not forcing him sweetheart.” Ramsay cradles my head against his chest. “I am.”
“What if he refuses?”
“The Beaumonts will never refuse me.” The Antonov promises. “I made an offer to take you before? Remember?”
“I should have listened to you.”
“Sebastian was a friend and I was some stranger offering to take you away. You were afraid of me and that is natural.”
“Did you follow us down river?”
“No, I followed Sebastian when I learned of his planned abduction. He wants you, and he wants the Beaumont’s child. He plans to raise and marry her, if she is a girl. If it is a boy, he will be put to death. This child that you carry could have your power to heal and its father’s power to hunt.”
“Sebastian cannot marry my child. Not after he and I...” I blush furiously. My despair is replaced with outrage. “That is sick.”
“He can, and he will, if he has his way. We cannot let that happen, can we?”
Sebastian wants to marry my child? I will kill him myself before I let that happen. There is no way in hell I am letting him get his bloody paws on my baby.
“No.” I agree angrily. “We cannot.”
“The Beaumont should know what the Bloodtakers have planned for his child. You should be with him. What kind of man gives his woman and child to Bloodtakers?”
“The Butcher of Beaumont.” I say tiredly.
“I will send my messengers out tonight. We should hear something soon.”
“Thank you.”
“You are most welcome.” He leads me toward the hatch. “I will have cook make you something to eat and a pot of warm chocolate, would you like that?”
“Yes.”
It is when I am in his cabin, in his bed, sipping the warm chocolate that he asks.
“How did you come by that nasty scratch on your face? How did it leave a scar on a healer?”
I look away when I lie. “I accidentally scratched myself.”
“Liar.” Ramsay turns my face back to him. “And a terrible one. Stick to what you know, Queen, telling the truth.”
“I am not a queen.”
“You married the Beaumont. That makes you his queen.”
“He ended our marriage.”
“Did he say why?”
“I have not seen him since my kidnapping. He divorced me through a missive delivered to Sebastian’s castle.”
The Antonov grows quiet at my revelation.
“The Beaumont cannot read or write. Are you sure it was from him?”
“It bore his mark. He signed it.”
“But did he know what he was signing?”
“The Erikson saw him. He was preparing to marry a proper woman.”
“And leave you behind with child? Christian can be cruel, but it does not sound like him to turn his back on his seed. There are Beaumont bastards flung far and wide, but they are well cared for. Especially a child that he sired on a Payne.”
“What makes my child any different from the others?”
“Everything.”
His charming smile and steely blue eyes can make a grown woman crush on him. I imagine all of the girls chased him as a boy, and the women chase him as a man. If I was not already in love with another, I could be one of those women. I would be one of those women. Damn, am I lusting after Ramsay Antonov now? I ask this of myself as warmth fills my lady parts and I get that all too familiar ache inside them. How can I love one man and yearn for another? Maybe it is in my witch’s blood. I would have gone to the Erikson’s bed if he wanted me. He did not. What if I am a whore? What if the Antonov feels the same way? What if he does not want me either? What if he thinks—
His lips come down on mine before I can insult myself again. I wrap my arms around his neck and moan against his lips. Ramsay is not Eldred Erikson. He does not have rules about tumbling women he does not know. Ramsay throws an arm around my waist and pulls me against him. His other hand cups the back of my head deepening his kiss. I shove my tongue down his throat.
“Your kiss tastes of chocolate.” He murmurs huskily. “My eyes and hands are drawn to your beautiful skin. Ramsay proves it to be true when his fingers travel down my sides and over my breasts. “Are you this soft all over as well?” His fingers loosen the messy knot atop my head. “Show me.” Ramsay leans over and breathes into my ear. “Take off your dress.”
He stands up and removes his fine vest. His fingers begin to undo the tiny hooks on his ruffled blouse. I bite my lips when he pushes it down off his broad shoulders. Ramsay Antonov is breathtakingly glorious. I thought Bash was something special but this... I was not prepared for Ramsay. I stand up slowly and pull the simple garment off over my head. I am naked underneath. The Antonov’s eyes touch me from head to toe and back up again. He smiles before crossing the room to me. This is it. There is no turning back. Not that I want to.
“The Erikson never touched me.” I do not know why I am telling him this. “He did not want me.” I look away in embarrassment.
“I do not believe that.” Ramsay makes a face. “If he has a cock, there is no doubt that he wanted you.”
“I think it is because I am with child. Does it bother you?”
His answer is in his pale blue eyes. If I missed it, which I did not, his kiss reinforces his feelings. This man wants to fuck me as much as I want to fuck him.
“If it does not bother you, then it does not bother me.” He grows serious. “I have no problem admitting that I do want you in every way that I can have you. My seed can be left on your belly if it helps. I need not leave it inside you where someone else resides.”
How sweet. No, he need not. Everything that I am saving for Christian, I pour into this Antonov. There is no urge to close my eyes and pretend that he is someone else. I want it to be Ramsay. When my hands caress the hard muscle of his shoulders, I would not trade him for anyone. Not even my darling Christian. This Antonov has a sorcery that will not be denied and the woman in me has been called to answer. I felt it when we met at the castle, but I was not ready then. I am not ready now though it does not matter. I too, have a hunger that demands to be fed. I tremble for several reasons.
“I am afraid.” I admit. “But I do not know why.”
“Do you want me to stop?” Ramsay asks softly, again proving to me how selfless he is.
“I do not want you to stop.” I tell him when our eyes meet. “I want you.”
“You have me.” He licks my hard nipple. “For however long you want me.”
“Ramsay.” I gasp when he bends over and sucks my dark peak between his pink lips.
“You do not have to fear me, Maeve. I will not hurt you. No one has to know about us, if you are worried about what your Christian will think. This can be our secret.”
“You would do that for me?” I whisper.
“I will never tell a soul.” Then he says, “I am taking you to bed now, Angel.”
“I am ready.”
