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I am greeted by a darkness that steals my breath and stops my heart. The fear in my heart is crushing me. Nothing comes out when I scream. My body is entangled in a net unable to move. Where am I? I hear voices speaking. Familiar voices. Ramsay and his brothers are arguing. I am still in the hammock wearing Ramsay’s shirt. The reason it so dark is because someone doused the lights to make the ship appear invisible against the inky blue ocean. I stand up and walk over to the opening. I cover my mouth when I see what they are seeing. Another ship ablaze in the distance. It is an orange ball of fire that I can smell from miles away. The faint sound of screaming assaults my ears. People are dying and the Antonovs are watching.
“We should do something.” Ennis whispers nervously.
“We are doing something.” Wesley speaks in a low voice. “We are hiding from pirates.”
“They need our help!” Ennis is having trouble watching the other ship burn. “There could be survivors.”
“Or, it could be a fucking trap!” Ramsay hisses at him. “There is no way of telling in the dark. I am not risking my crew, or my ship to find out.”
“Ramsay is right, Ennis.” David agrees, while swigging from a bag of wine. “It is not worth the risk.”
“But I hear them screaming. They are being burned alive.”
“If you want to swim out and rescue them, be our guest. The rest of us are heading to port. Catch up with us if you can.” Ramsay leaves his brothers standing at the rail. “Hoist the sales!”
I hold his blouse closed in front of me. I am standing silently, watching the ship burn, when he joins me in the box. I am rested and unmolested. I needed that sleep. Ramsay dips a cup of water and hands it to me.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better than them.” I nod my head toward the burning ship. “Who are they?”
“Bait.” Ramsay stands beside me watching it too. “But I am not biting tonight.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know.” He turns me away from the ugly sight. “I show up to save them and sail into an ambush. Whoever was on that ship is dead now and were probably bled out before they died. You should not watch this. It will only upset you and the baby.”
Ramsay is concerned about me and my child. I sit in the chair and chew on the hunk of bread he puts in my hand. There is a flurry of activity below us and high above as the crew prepares to put distance between us and the fire. Now I understand why the lights are out. So that we might go unseen. A man has no need for light when he can read the stars. I see the moon and her twinkling children. Ramsay sees a map.
“Is it the Bloodtakers?”
“No one else is bold enough to war with me.”
“What will you do?”
“Take my brothers home, see you to safety, and give them what they are asking for.”
“If you are killed, it will be my fault. I wish you would reconsider.”
“Do you mean that I should run?” Ramsay shakes his head in disappointment. “I am no coward, woman. I am not fighting for you. This is personal. If I let these fucking leech bastards threaten me, then others will be emboldened, and I cannot have that. I do not give a fuck about Sebastian Lockton, Anthony Barber, or any of them. They all die the same.”
“They have joined their armies, Ramsay.” I remind him. “Will you join the Christians then? How else can you win?”
“You are simple-minded for one so smart.” His smile is sympathetic. “I control an army of my own, Maeve. Some say that we rival your Butcher’s. Why do you think both sides vie for my help?”
“Because you are second-best?”
His hand goes to his heart. “You wound me, Angel.” He laughs. “I will be sure to tell Christian how you defended him when he was not around. I have never envied another man in my life, but I envy him you.”
“Ramsay.” I blush in the dark. “Why would you envy him me? I am a peasant.”
“Oh, my sweet Maeve.” Ramsay pulls me against him. “You are so much more than you know. You are beautiful, sweet and so damn desirable.” He pushes the blouse open and covers my breasts with his warm hands. “I will never get enough of you.”
I am ready when he kisses me. I am not ready when his fingers walk down my sensitive skin to cover the curve where my child is growing.
“No matter what happens, you have my protection. Remember my words. You can always come to me. I am not afraid of your Butcher either.”
“I will feel terrible, if I end up with him after all you have done for me.”
“The things I do for you, I do for myself.” His breath tickles the hair in my face. “He is your husband. Do not fear upsetting me. Think of your child. There is no greater pleasure that caring for one’s family and children deserve a loving home with both parents raising them. If you were my wife and we were separated, I would want you back.”
“And if he truly set me aside, and no longer wants me anymore?”
“If we are meant to be together, we will be together, Mae.”
I smile when he repeats my words.
“Cap’n?”
The knock on the door startles me but Ramsay heard the man coming.
“Yes, Jones?”
“It’s the lady, Cap’n. She’s screamin’ something fierce. She is all riled up and screamin’ about going home.”
“My sister needs me.”
“No, it too dangerous with the lights out. I can see to your sister. You will lay back down and wait for me.” He is speaking in a low voice. “This is not the time to disobey me.”
A sigh escapes me when I am alone. I miss him when he is gone. Maybe it is my loneliness and I am using him to help me get over someone else, but it has nothing to do with the way I feel about him. I watch the burning ship, until it disappears into the sea, sinking to its final, watery grave. The dead ship leaves behind the smell of burning wood and scorched flesh that carries on the breeze. The smell takes me back and my head fills with my sister’s shrill screams when she was crucified. I gaze up at the stars flickering in the dark black sky. The way they reflect off of the water makes it is hard to tell where the sky ends, and the water begins. The beauty of the night was hidden behind the sinking ship.
I should have helped those people. I could have saved some of them. I could have saved many people. I could have saved Rumi Widowmaker from his horrible fate also. Christian hacked him to pieces in the town square for sneaking into our bedchamber. His blood is on my hands because he could not stay away from me. It is the curse of my power. It drives men to madness from wanting to taste it for themselves. I wonder what Ramsay would have done in the same situation? Not cut a man to pieces.
Why should I care if Christian set me aside? He is a hunter. A killer. He hunted my family and caused their deaths. How could I fall in love with the Butcher of Beaumont? My head tells me to forget about him and go with Ramsay. Maybe Christian was a path to where I truly belong. If that is true, I am doing it all wrong.
Ramsay is kind to go to my sister. I am worried about Beth-Ann. She is being haunted because of me. Everything bad that happens to her, happens because of me. It is not fair. I am letting her suffer to save myself, the way I always do. What kind of sister am I? How can I do this to her again? I sit in the chair and ponder my situation. My sister deserves peace after burning for me. Her shrill scream slices through the dark silence surrounding me. She screams again and again. My heart flutters and I begin to shake. Is she hurt? What did Sebastian do to her? Is this why he left me alone? Because he is torturing her now? I cover my ears to block out her tortured cries. I am scared for her, but I am also scared for us. I know that whoever is out there can hear her also. Hear her as clearly as if she was calling them by name. Her pain is their beacon of hope. Her pain will light their way to me. The screams cease. I hold my breath waiting for them to begin again, but it does not.
How did he quiet her when she was so distraught? I hope it was a potion and not his fist, but either way she had to be silenced. I need to know what Sebastian did to make her scream that way. If Beth-Ann is injured, I can help her. She needs me. Ramsay’s crew is so stealthy and skilled that their quiet movements make them invisible to the eye. I know they are there though I see only shadows and hear the creaks and groans of the ship as it rolls with the waves. I hear the rustle of the billowing sails when they catch the indigo wind. We are moving again. I am getting closer and closer to him. My Beaumont King. My darling love.
I sit in the uncomfortable chair waiting. And waiting. And waiting. I wait until the sun comes up before I go in search of Beth-Ann and Ramsay. I open the door to her cabin and walk past the narrow bed to uncover the porthole and allow in the sun. It beams on their naked bodies where they are asleep holding each other. It is shocking. It hurts. But why does it hurt? Ramsay does not belong to me and I know why it happened. She needed him and Ramsay being the protector that he is, gave her what she needed. All of him. I pull the curtain against the sun and let myself out again. The picture of her beautiful head tucked against his chest makes me feel empty. It makes me feel lonely. I sniffle sadly, silently wiping away the tears when they begin to fall against my will. Who am I to be jealous? Who am I to claim two men?
He comes searching for me when he awakens. I am hiding in my cabin feeling sorry for myself and angry at them both for doing what I enjoy doing with him.
“Maeve.” He calls softly, tapping on the door again. “I know you can hear me. Open the door please? Can we discuss this?”
“We have nothing to discuss, Ramsay.”
I sound angrier than I mean to. How can I pretend that I do not care when I sound jealous?
“Let me explain.”
“You are not my husband, Ramsay Antonov. There is nothing to explain.”
“I hurt your feelings.”
“I am fine.” I snap at him. “I want to be left alone.”
Ramsay tries the door but finds it is barred against him. He needs to go back where he was. There is nothing for him here. Not anymore. I sniffle again. The tears have returned to make me feel foolish for crying over a man that I barely know. Being with men has made me weak and miserable. It was better before I knew a man’s touch. Before I felt a hard, warm body sweating as he works his hips between my parted thighs. My life was so much easier before I knew a man’s love. Falling in love is for fools. Silly me.
“Liar.” His whisper reminds me of the way his breath tickles my ear when he is whispering other things. The unwelcome ache in my gut is sharp. “You are too afraid to sleep, Angel. Your dreams keep you awake.”
Stop calling me that! I want to scream. I am not your damn angel and you are not my Prince. Leave me be.
“You have to come out eventually.” Ramsay says before walking away.
Silly Ramsay. I visited the galley while he was comforting Beth-Ann. I have a week’s worth of dry goods and water in the corner. I can make it stretch much longer if I need to. He does not know me, or what I am capable of when I am surviving. I would jump ship if I did not need this ride to the palace. Traveling over land is far too dangerous with the hunters after me and I am growing each day. My child will show soon. The added girth will slow me down and make me clumsy. No, it is best to stay with the Antonovs until I can speak with Christian.
The problem with my plan is the heat. It is hotter than a witch’s cauldron in here. Luckily for me, my stubbornness is stronger than my need for relief. I kick back on the bed and put my hands behind my head. This is my way of punishing him. However, this is probably hurting me more than it does hurt him. I know nothing about what he likes and dislikes. The next knock is softer.
“Maeve.” Beth-Ann speaks quietly. “I need to speak to you.”
I leave the bed to let her in. I cannot blame her for wanting him. Ramsay is special, and I cannot deny it. It is he who is standing there when the door swings open. He pushes his way in with Beth-Ann following behind him. She is sobbing as if someone died.
“What have I done?” She cries. “I am a woman wed! Winn will never take me back after this! He went against his men and married me when I was not a maiden. I cannot lose him.”
“Hush your simpering, Elizabeth-Ann.” I snap at her. “There is no reason to tell him. This stays between the three of us.”
“I cannot lie to him.” She gasps in horror. “That is worse than the deed itself.”
“No one told you to let him fuck you.” My eyes narrow hatefully. “You were woman enough to do it, now be woman enough to accept the consequences.”
A blush colors her face and her mouth snaps shut.
“Elizabeth-Ann was shaken and screaming like a bloody animal. Every ship on this side of the sea heard her. She kissed me and grabbed my cock, so I gave it to her. The well-being of my ship and my crew comes first. Your petty jealousy is a small price to pay for it.”
“Jealous?” I snort. “Of you? Never!”
“Why else would you lock yourself away to mope and probably cry over me?”
“I am not moping, and I surely did not cry over you. It is very arrogant of you to assume so.”
“Leave us, Elizabeth-Ann.” Ramsay commands with his blue eyes locked on mine.
“Stay, Elizabeth-Ann.” I dare her to take his side over mine.
“She is my sister.” Beth-Ann chooses me.
“And I am your Captain!” He roars. “Get out before I whip you for disobeying me!”
Beth-Ann runs like her dress is on fire. I turn my anger on Ramsay who is waiting with his arms crossed. He is wearing a fresh set of clothing and his hair is damp from a recent bath. He is so handsome that I have to look away.
“You have no right to be in here.” I speak calmly. “What do you want?”
Ramsay walks over to the door and slides the bar into place. My heart beats faster.
“What... what are you doing?” I stammer retreating a step. “Unbar that door and leave at once. It is your ship, but my body belongs to me.”
Ramsay raises a golden eyebrow. “Do you think I intend to rape you?” He grins. “I am not your Butcher. I do not rape women. They come to me willingly, as you well know from your own dalliances with me.”
“And your dalliance with Beth-Ann?”
“That was nothing.” His shoulders shrug. “It was a fuck to shut her up before she brought every Christian, and Bloodtaker down on our heads. Wait, why am I explaining myself to you? A man does as he pleases and women are born to obey me.” Ramsay stalks me in the small space. “You are naive, disobedient, and uncivilized from raising yourself.”
“I am a free woman.”
“There is no such thing as a free woman.” His mocking laughter makes me angry. “You belong to your family until you are married or taken as a man’s mistress.”
“I am no one’s mistress!” I scream at him. “I was married by a priest! I never wanted to leave my husband!”
“Calm yourself, woman. Who called you a mistress? Not I. You are a Payne.” Ramsay’s lips twitch. “In more ways than one.”
His quip is funny. “I never asked for your help.” I shove him when he gets too close. “I never asked you for anything. I do not need you. Put me in a boat and let me go.”
“Daft woman, you will not last a day.” Ramsay warns. “You will die before you reach land. Or worse.” He keeps his distance. “If you think being a man’s mistress is so terrible, you would enjoy being a Bloodtakers thrall. They will keep your child alive to feed on daily and pass you around like a bag of wine to service whoever wants to bleed and bed you.”
I recoil against his words. “Stop it!” I cry angrily. “Shut your filthy mouth. I will kill myself before I whore for them.”
“You already did, Angel.” Ramsay frowns. “Did he not force you to parade yourself through his halls naked? Men paid heavily to watch him fuck you unbeknownst to you.”
“What?” I am shocked. Would Sebastian do something so low? “How do you know?”
“Because I made him stop when he invited me for free.” He puts his hands on my shoulders. “I only want to protect you, Maeve.” Then he adds. “And your poor sister. She has suffered far more than you have.”
“How many of them saw us together?”
My voice cracks because I am shattered. How could he? And now he has the audacity to haunt me? When I walked into his hall and he held me the way he did, I thought it was because he wanted me. In truth, I had walked into the snake’s den. He did not have to hunt me anymore. I came to him willingly. Gratefully. Blindly. And I thanked him for it.
“You did nothing wrong.” Ramsay assures me. “He took advantage of you and for that, he will pay heavily. I would kill him myself, but it is your husband’s right.”
“I should kill him.”
“He is stronger than you are. You cannot defeat him alone.”
“Will you help me?” I whimper when he wraps his arms around me. “He has to die.”
“After we speak with Christian and if he refuses to do so, then I shall kill him for you.”
“Do you promise?”
“I promise, Angel.” He kisses my forehead. “It will be my honor to deliver his head to you.”
I believe him. If the Beaumont refuses me, Ramsay will champion my cause and take Sebastian’s wicked head. How can I be angry with him for comforting my sister in the same manner in which he comforts me? I let him escort me above deck. Beth-Ann and I stand at the rail staring off into the distance while he works beside his men.
“He is a beautiful man.” She finally says in explanation. “And kinder than most.”
“That he is.” I agree slipping my hand into hers. She squeezes.
We are sisters and no man can come between us. Our bond is greater than any cock, or handsome face. This is the one thing that I know will last forever. Nothing can change that. Not even death.
