Rachel had been looking forward to going out with her friends, who were coming in from out of town, for several months. Finding the perfect time was difficult because of coordinating all the schedules that were involved, particularly since she worked part time and had three children. The only evening that worked for the group was a “back-to-school night” with the kids, so a babysitter was out of the question. Either she or her husband Rick had to be there.
Rick, a conscious and loving father, works full time, and then some. When the evening finally arrived, Rachel was very grateful to Rick for being home with the kids. He had, after all, been forced to cancel an appointment and miss out on an exciting business venture so that he could be there—so that she could go out.
Rachel had a great time reconnecting with her friends. Her heart sank, however, the moment she walked in the door. Everyone including Rick was already asleep, but the house looked like a bomb had gone off. Immediately, she felt as if going out with her friends had been a mistake. Rather than being able to go to bed refreshed, she became angry that she had to come home and start cleaning up messes she had nothing to do with.
This is a sad story because, in fairness, Rick had gone to some lengths to be there. He was tired and needed some rest. However, his lack of effort—his unwillingness to finish the job—turned what would have been a wonderful and relaxing evening into a pain in the rear end for Rachel! An event she had looked forward to for several months was overshadowed by the hassle of coming home to a disaster.
In this story, “finishing the job” would have meant taking half an hour or so to make a reasonable effort in picking up the house. But it just as easily could have been making the phone calls that you promised you would make, delivering on a promise, or following through on any number of other commitments or chores that would make life a tiny bit easier for your partner. It’s really that simple.
Needless to say, there are plenty of exceptions to this rule. There are times when you just can’t do things—you’re either too exhausted or too busy, or you just plain forgot. As a general rule of thumb, however, the moral of the story is this: Whenever possible and within reason, try to go the extra mile for your partner. Do whatever is necessary to finish the job. That way, your partner won’t have to sweat the small stuff—because you will already have done so!