Chapter 36
Jump-Start Your Relationship

There’s a widespread belief that the time to turn to experts is when your relationship is in trouble. After all, there’s no question that a good psychologist, minister, priest, rabbi, social worker, marriage counselor, or other qualified professional can be enormously helpful during difficult times.

However, it’s also the case that these as well as many other (including less traditional) professionals can be effectively used to jump-start your relationship, to push or encourage you toward growth, better communication, and increased love for one another.

Many relationships, even good ones, can become static or habitual. It’s easy to begin taking each other for granted or to lose that wonderful spark that existed in times gone by. This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship; only that it could be even better. Often, a tiny shift in your thinking, a change of attitude, a dose of perspective, or a few new tips can make a world of difference.

I used to teach courses on happiness, which included, among other things, tips such as the ones you read about in my books. Often, couples would attend, not because there was anything wrong with their relationship, but because they wanted a little jump-start. One of my greatest compliments was when people would say, “That was just what we needed.” What they learned was always very simple, just a little reminder of what it takes to be a happy person or a happy couple.

You can get the same kind of positive jolt by taking a class together on good communication skills or a workshop on becoming a more loving partner, or even sitting together for an hour-long lecture by one of your favorite authors or speakers. Many bookstores have free events where authors will speak for a while, followed by a book signing. There are audiotapes on relationship skills you can purchase, then create some quiet time to listen to them together. If you prefer, you can read to each other out of a book that inspires you to become closer. Even something this simple can provide the jump start you’re looking for. The act of doing one or more of these things is an acknowledgment to one another that your relationship is important, a statement that you want to continue to grow together.

We encourage you to start looking around for new ways to jump-start your relationship. It’s a great way to spend time together and is almost always a great deal of fun.