The sun managed to struggle through on Sunday and provide a reasonable level of warmth from behind billowing clouds.
‘Where are we going?’ asked Floss for the tenth time since they’d piled into the car. She’d resurrected her whingey voice.
‘To Mr and Mrs Bates’ place. He’s my boss.’
‘Will there be other kids there?’ Mattie kicked at the back of the seat.
‘Stop that,’ said Kevin. ‘I don’t know who else will be there.’
‘There might be,’ said Annie.
‘But whether there are or not I want best behaviour,’ Kevin added, glaring at them in the rear-view mirror.
‘I don’t want to go. I want to go to Adrian’s place.’
Annie twisted round. ‘I know darling, but his mum said she’d invite you to play another day.’
‘I thought we were going to get a puppy,’ said Floss. ‘When are we getting our puppy?’
‘In a few weeks,’ said Kevin.
‘Why can’t we go today?’
‘Because we’re going to a party.’
‘We don’t want to go to the party.’
‘We won’t stay long,’ said Annie. Add her to the list of who didn’t want to go. Why had she agreed to this farce?
‘We have to stay to eat,’ said Kevin. ‘We can’t race in and out in five minutes.’
‘Does your boss have a rule about that, too?’ she murmured.
‘It’s plain good manners,’ he said through gritted teeth. The tone was familiar from the painful fractured year before his flight.
‘Don’t worry. We won’t embarrass you. I’ll keep them under control.’
He gave a long-suffering sigh. ‘Don’t be like that, Annie.’
‘Kevin, none of us want to be here. I’m doing this as a favour so be nice.’
He didn’t say anything, just drove with his eyes fixed firmly ahead. Annie read the map and gave terse directions.
Hugh looked up from the newspaper. ‘Are you home for dinner?’
‘Looks like it. Are you?’
‘I thought I’d give Annie a call and see if she can meet for a pizza.’
‘Short notice.’
‘Kevin’s there for the kids.’
The number rang for so long he thought he’d go to voicemail but Annie finally answered.
‘Hello.’
‘Hi Annie, how are you?’
‘Fine thanks.’
Voices, laughter sounded in the background. Did they have guests? ‘Are you busy?’
‘We’re at a party. Kevin’s boss always invites his new staff over, apparently.’
‘Having fun?’ She sounded cheerful and she sounded like a wife.
‘They have a great house. Overlooking the water at Beauty Point. Luckily the sun’s come out because it’s an outdoor thing.’
‘I haven’t heard of Beauty Point. Where is it?’
‘It’s across the harbour on the way to Manly. I’m standing on the terrace looking out at the water. It’s lovely.’
‘Right. I’d better let you get back to the party.’
‘It’s okay. I’m really just keeping an eye on Mattie and Floss making sure they don’t damage anything. It’s like a display garden, immaculate. Why did you ring?’
‘I just wondered if you’d be up for a movie and maybe a pizza tonight.’ He already knew the answer. She was in her other world, the one that didn’t include him.
‘I’m not sure when we’ll be home. What time were you thinking of meeting?’
‘It doesn’t matter. It was just a spur of the moment idea.’
‘I can’t really do spur of the moment.’
‘No, I suppose not. And you sound as though you’ve got your hands full with the new house and everything.’
‘Yes it’s been pretty hectic. I’m sorry, Hugh.’
‘Another time then.’
‘Okay.’
And that, my friend, is that. Hugh closed his phone. ‘I’m home for dinner, too,’ he said to James.
Annie slid her phone back into her bag. What a total bummer! Stuck here with the most boring bunch of people she’d ever met in her whole life and missing a date with Hugh.
‘Mummy, I’m bored, can we go home?’ Floss clung to Annie’s hand and looked up with her pleading face on. Mattie backed her up, equally disgruntled, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the paving stones.
‘Don’t do that, you’ll wear a hole in your shoe.’
Another tug on her hand. ‘Pleeeease. I don’t like it here.’
‘Sshh. We can’t go until Daddy is ready.’
‘When will he be ready?’
‘I’m not sure.’
Kevin was over by a big leafed shrub, listening intently with two other men while George the boss held forth. A big square body with the face of a man who didn’t compromise. He’d turned Mattie and Floss into cringing mutes with his brusque, ‘Hello, children’, and fearsome bushy eyebrows. No other children had appeared and there was nothing for Mattie and Floss to do beyond explore the garden, which they’d already done. She had the distinct impression when they’d arrived that George and Thelma Bates weren’t expecting the children. How had Kevin misinterpreted that little detail? The other two couples had looked at them as though they were plague carriers.
‘Who were you talking to?’ asked Mattie.
‘Hugh.’
‘Can Hugh come over and read our stories tonight?’
‘Not tonight, sweet pea.’
Annie summoned a sociable a smile as Thelma approached. She moved like a galleon under full sail, large and difficult to change course when underway. A long loose cream linen jacket affair over voluminous matching slacks didn’t alleviate the maritime image. Her manner was as daunting as her husband’s. If they didn’t measure up in some indefinable way, Kevin’s job could well be threatened. He’d admitted there was a three month trial period in his contract.
‘Why can’t Hugh come over?’ whined Floss right on cue.
Thelma Bates peered down at her with a tiny, rather forced smile. For all the insistence of the importance of family she clearly didn’t actually like children. ‘Is Hugh a little friend of yours?’
‘He’s my mummy’s friend but he’s my friend too. And Mattie’s.’
Thelma shot Annie a look, eyebrows raised, question hovering. Not Kevin’s friend?
‘Hugh was our neighbour.’
‘Oh I see.’ She clearly didn’t see but didn’t press the point.
‘He reads us our bedtime stories,’ said Floss. ‘And he does funny voices.’
‘That’s nice.’
‘Mattie and I like Hugh much better than Edward. He’s got duck feet.’ Floss broke into giggles.
‘Is Edward a neighbour?’
‘He’s Daddy’s friend but we don’t like him.’
Annie watched the doubts and questions flit across Thelma’s face. ‘Children,’ she said quickly, rolled her eyes and grinned, catching Thelma’s eye with a conspiratorial glance. ‘You have a beautiful garden, Thelma.’
‘Thank you.’
From the terrace where they stood emerald green grass spread towards the water in a carefully manicured flow. Someone must get down on hands and knees with nail scissors to keep it so smooth and weedless. Winter flowering plants bloomed bravely in military precision along the borders. The other two wives were studying a shrub in the far corner. One was a childless career woman, the other’s children had left home.
‘A select gathering of newcomers to the company,’ Thelma had said, eyeing Mattie and Floss with suspicion when they arrived. ‘Do make yourselves at home. We’re out on the terrace.’
The men had almost immediately gone into their huddle, leaving Annie with the women. After a few minutes of strained chat with the two equally uncomfortable wives and Thelma, Annie had been dragged away by the kids to look at the birdbath. Thelma disappeared inside and the other pair had begun examining the plants, having discovered a common interest.
Something alcoholic was definitely called for if she was to get through this afternoon but they’d been here thirty minutes and hadn’t been offered a drink. What sort of party was this?
‘Mummy I’m thirsty,’ said Mattie, her little mind-reader.
Annie turned to Thelma. ‘Could I get Mattie a drink of water, please?’ And a stiff gin for herself.
‘Of course. Come through to the kitchen. We’ll be having tea soon anyway.’ Tea? This was afternoon tea.
‘I want one too,’ said Floss.
Thelma stopped and studied Floss. ‘You want one what?’
‘A drink,’ said Floss, looking up with her cutest smile. ‘Of water.’
‘You want a drink…’ Thelma paused expectantly, glaring at Floss. Cute didn’t register.
Annie nudged her. ‘Please,’ she said softly.
‘I want a drink too, please,’ said Floss in a rush.
‘Very well.’ Her beady eye turned on Annie. ‘Manners are so important and young people these days are growing up with none, as far as I can see.’ One black mark.
‘They’re usually very good with their pleases and thank you’s.’
‘I’m sure they are but they mustn’t forget.’ Thelma surged through the open French doors to the living room. Thick cream carpet and antique furniture, a large chintz-covered sofa, no television or stereo, a glass fronted china cabinet with an undoubtedly valuable collection on display. Knick-knacks distributed like landmines on the side tables, just waiting to explode into a million pieces as a wayward child brushed by. A table in the corner was set with tea things and an array of cakes and scones on tiered servers.
Annie grabbed a hand of each offspring and held them close. No ornaments would be endangered while they passed, no food would be touched. She almost held her breath until they reached the door to the hallway.
‘The guest bathroom is just here.’ Thelma indicated a door as they passed.
‘I need to do a wee,’ announced Floss.
‘I’ll just pop in with her, Thelma.’
‘Matthew and I will be in the kitchen. Along the hall and to the left.’
Mattie cast a despairing look at Annie but she nodded and he followed the galleon.
When they joined him he was standing with a blue plastic tumbler in his hand. Another sat on the bench. Thelma indicated the drink.
‘There’s your water, dear.’
Annie passed the tumbler to Floss who said, ‘Thank you,’ very loudly.
‘I don’t hold with all this fizzy sugary muck they sell children these days. Nothing wrong with water. That’s what we drank when I was young.’
‘I agree,’ said Annie. ‘I don’t buy soft drink but we do have fruit juice.’
‘Full of sugar and additives,’ said Thelma. ‘You must squeeze your own fruit to make sure it’s pure.’
‘Mummy likes drinking wine,’ said Floss. ‘So does Leonie, except she likes gin best.’
‘I only drink wine occasionally,’ said Annie. ‘With dinner.’
‘George and I are teetotallers,’ said Thelma. ‘We don’t approve of excessive alcohol consumption.’
‘You drank a lot of wine when Hugh and Leonie and James came round for dinner. We counted the empty bottles. There were twelve.’ Mattie placed his tumbler carefully on the sink. ‘Thank you for the drink, Mrs Bates.’
‘I think we should go outside and find Daddy,’ said Annie. Before any more bombs were dropped on Kevin’s prospects with this firm. So far they’d notched up bringing ill-mannered children, questionable friendships with sundry men and drunken evenings with same, plus a gin-swilling female acquaintance. The sooner they escaped the better for all concerned.
‘Yes, do go ahead,’ said Thelma through gritted teeth and a hideous attempt at a smile.
Mattie and Floss darted through the door. ‘Don’t run,’ called Annie in desperation. ‘Be careful.’
She threw Thelma an apologetic glance and dashed after them. They reached the living room door and had a little tussle to gain first entry. Mattie won but Floss, with a cry of rage, gave him an almighty shove which sent him stumbling into the room. Annie gasped as they disappeared, expecting to hear the crash as priceless antiques smashed to pieces. Feet thudded on carpet. She reached the doorway just as the fighting, roiling kids shot out onto the terrace and collided with Cathy, the younger of the two wives who was coming up the steps on high heeled sandals, precarious at the best of times.
Cathy gave a strangled shriek and fell backwards down the shallow flight with the two terrors tumbling with her. By pure chance and nifty footwork she stayed upright but Floss fell onto the hard stones and screamed with glass shattering penetration. Mattie stepped back, shamefaced, wide-eyed. Annie ran to Floss and knelt by her side.
‘It hurts.’ Red-faced and teary.
‘Where does it hurt?’
Floss’s sobs increased. ‘My arm. Oooh.’ She held her left arm with her right hand.
Annie sat her up carefully, smoothed hair from the damp face. ‘Where exactly?’
‘What happened?’ Kevin’s voice. The men crowded around.
Cathy’s furious husband, a stringy, bony man with self-righteous written all over him said, ‘I saw it. Those kids crashed into my wife. Nearly knocked her over.’
‘Totally out of control,’ said someone else. Maybe George.
‘I’m terribly sorry.’ Kevin, doing bugger all to help his injured daughter. ‘They really do know better. Are you all right, Cathy?’
‘Yes. Just.’ Very terse.
Floss’s wrist ballooned rapidly.
‘It needs ice,’ said Annie.
‘Is it broken?’ asked Kevin, finally taking notice. ‘Can you wiggle your fingers, Floss?’
She concentrated and managed to move one finger a tiny bit. ‘It hurts,’ she wailed. ‘I feel sick.’
‘We need ice, please,’ said Annie again, louder. ‘Do you have an icepack?’ she stared up at George but he shook his head. Stinker.
‘We’d better go.’ Annie stood and picked up Floss, who clung to her with her good hand as though she were drowning.
‘I’ll carry her,’ said Kevin the Useless, finally remembering he was a father.
‘It’s okay, I’ve got her. ‘Like all the other times when he wasn’t there. Floss sobbed pitifully into her neck wetting her collar. ‘Come on, Mattie.’
‘What’s going on?’ Thelma appeared in the doorway. ‘What’s all the noise about?’
‘Those children ran through the doorway and nearly knocked my wife down the steps.’
Annie gritted her teeth. Kevin hovered hopelessly by her side and said nothing.
‘Oh my goodness. Is she all right?’ Thelma clearly meant Cathy not Floss, but Annie said, ‘I think her wrist might be broken. I’m taking her for an X-ray.’
‘Oh, yes, of course. Take her this way rather than through the house.’ She led Annie along the terrace and round the side of the house to the driveway while Kevin apologised yet again to all and sundry.
She paused at the bottom of the drive and faced Annie. ‘You can go straight out this way.’ Without contaminating the house.
‘Thanks, Thelma. I’m sorry this happened to spoil your afternoon.’ Floss’s sobs had subsided but watery hiccupping gulping noises emerged every now and then.
‘I do hope she’s all right.’ She patted Floss’s hair in an awkward gesture.
‘She’ll be fine. It’s probably a sprain.’
Kevin caught up to them. ‘I’m sorry, Thelma. Thank you for everything. I’m sorry about this.’
‘Goodbye.’ Annie barrelled up the sloping drive to the street without waiting for Kevin to finish grovelling.
She loaded Floss into the car, helped Mattie in, slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine. Kevin sprinted up the drive and climbed in beside her.
‘For God’s sake, Annie!’
‘I wasn’t going to leave you there.’ She pulled out into the street. ‘Although I was very tempted for all the notice you took of your injured daughter.’
Kevin’s flimsy control snapped, released by the absence of the Bates’. ‘So what the hell was going on?’ he shouted. ‘What were you two doing running around in the house? Can’t you control them for five minutes?’
‘What about you? They weren’t even supposed to have been there. It was pretty obvious they didn’t want kids at their afternoon tea.’
‘I hope I don’t lose my job over this.’
‘I hate those people,’ said Mattie. ‘That lady was horrible to us.’
‘Mattie, don’t be rude,’ said Annie.
‘You need to learn how to behave,’ said Kevin. ‘Both of you. And if you hadn’t been running around like a couple of hooligans you wouldn’t have hurt your arm and knocked over Mrs Tait.’
‘She didn’t fall over, I did,’ said Floss.
‘You were lucky she didn’t fall over and hurt herself or you’d be in even bigger trouble right now.’
Floss started wailing again.
‘This is all your fault, Annie,’ Kevin hissed. ‘You deliberately let them run wild and make a bad impression.’
‘I did not.’
‘You promised you’d keep them under control.’
‘They were bored. There was absolutely nothing for them to do and we had to virtually beg Thelma for a glass of water.’
Kevin twisted round to glare into the back seat. ‘All you had to do was behave for a couple of hours. Is that too much to ask?’
‘Sorry,’ Mattie said.
‘Don’t speak. I’m too angry.’ He turned back to the front, jaw clenched.
‘He just apologised,’ said Annie indignantly.
‘That includes you.’
Annie clenched her jaw and drove. The car seethed with enough unexpressed emotion to blast all the windows out. When they’d emerged from the Harbour Tunnel twenty toxic minutes later she said, ‘I’ll drop you and Mattie at home and take Floss to Emergency for an X-ray.’
Annie tucked an exhausted little girl into bed at ten that night. No broken bones, thank goodness, but a badly bruised and swollen wrist. She peeped in on sleeping Mattie. Kevin was watching television. He turned the sound down and looked at her with a blank, closed face. Blame. Her fault.
‘Is she all right?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m really furious about this, Annie.’
Annie drew a deep breath. Her stomach ached with hunger. Floss had eaten half a sausage roll but couldn’t manage much else while they waited on uncomfortable plastic chairs to see first a doctor, then for the X-ray, and then the doctor again. Annie couldn’t eat at all. Her stomach was in knots. She drank foul tasting coffee out of a cardboard cup and wished she’d never agreed to go that afternoon. This was her fault, not for allowing the children to run wild but for going in the first place. Kevin’s reaction had shown up just how far apart they were. Was this arrangement going to work for much longer? Those thinly papered over cracks were reappearing as giant crevasses.
‘So I see.’
‘Is that all you have to say?’
‘What do you want me to say?’
‘You could apologise for starters.’
‘What for? Our children being children? I think you owe us an apology for dragging us along there where we weren’t wanted. Thelma didn’t even invite the children. You saw the look on her face. Why did you insist we all go?’
He waved his arms in the air. ‘I didn’t know. Do you think I’d have taken them if I’d known that?’
Annie slumped onto a chair and closed her eyes.
‘I don’t know, Kevin. I don’t know any more what you think but I’ll tell you what I think.’ Her stomach gurgled. If she didn’t eat she’d collapse. She opened her eyes and heaved herself to her feet. ‘I think you’re trying so hard to pretend you’re straight to those people you’ve lost track of what’s important.’
‘And what’s that?’
‘Your kids! They don’t care if you’re gay; they’ve no idea what that even means. I don’t care either, I really don’t, but I do care when you use us like that to try to impress people, or whatever that was all about. How do you know what they’ll think anyway? Stand up for yourself.’ Annie stopped, glaring down at him. ‘I’ve had it. I need food.’
She reached the door before he said in a subdued voice. ‘Annie? I’m sorry.’ She stopped and half turned, saw the man she’d loved all those years ago, offered a tiny smile, took him at his word.
‘There’s some stir fry left,’ he said.
‘Okay. Goodnight.’
The television came back on.
The fishing expedition wasn’t high on Annie’s list of fun things to do on a Sunday morning, but she walked with Leonie along the beach towards the jumble of rocks beneath the headland, which Edward and Kevin said were their best bet to catch dinner. The men and the two kids trailed behind laden with fishing gear.
Hugh had seemed preoccupied when he greeted her, and looked as enthusiastic as she was about spending a morning with Edward and Kevin. She tried not to let on how ridiculously pleased she was to see him, but she could have thrown her arms around him and planted a big smoochy kiss and he probably wouldn’t have noticed.
‘I filled in E For England,’ Leonie said.
Annie raised an interrogative eyebrow. Had she managed to seduce James? If that were the case, how long would it last? Leonie’s track record was not good. One-night stands were her specialty.
‘James?’
Leonie shook her head. ‘Friday night. Big mistake.’
‘Oh, Leonie.’ What could she say? This was Leonie reverting to type. ‘Does James know?’
‘No.’
Annie groaned. ‘What a state we’re in. Both of us.’
‘Problems?’ Leonie jerked her head in the direction of the men.
‘Not really. We’re neither one thing nor the other — Kevin and me, I mean. I guess we’ll sort it out slowly.’ Leonie wasn’t fooled, of course, but she refrained from ‘I told you so’.
‘How’s Floss?’
‘The swelling’s gone down and she has a beautiful bruise but she can’t use her wrist properly yet.’
‘Poor little poppet.’
‘She wasn’t exactly behaving herself. Thelma Bates sent her a Get Well card.’
Leonie laughed. ‘Gosh, that’s surprising after what you told me.’
‘Amazing, more like it. I had to take back everything I thought about her.’
They reached the rocks and stopped. Edward forged by and clambered up onto the first rocky shelf, juggling rods, a kitbag and two buckets. Seagulls squawked overhead hopeful of a snack.
‘It’s slippery so be careful,’ he said.
‘Maybe we should wait here with Floss and Mattie,’ said Annie.
‘Noooooo.’ Mattie scrambled up with a hand from Kevin. James pulled Leonie up.
‘Hold Daddy’s hand,’ called Annie.
‘They’ll be okay. We’ll watch them.’ Hugh came to stand beside her. James and Leonie were already picking their way after Edward. Hugh scooped up Floss and lifted her onto the rocks. He stepped up and extended his hand to Annie with a smile. With Floss’s good hand safely in hers, Annie followed Hugh.
Edward was right, the rocks were wet and slippery from spray. The swell was high this morning and big waves crashed against the headland farther along, where the cliffs dropped steeply down onto a mass of boulders. A flatter, more level ledge jutted out into the ocean. Edward moved slowly across, followed by James and Leonie holding hands tightly. Kevin and Mattie brought up the rear.
‘Gosh those waves are big. Do you think it’s safe?’
‘He’s heading for that.’ Hugh pointed to an area less pounded by waves. The ledge rose at the water’s edge and sat about four metres above the highest of the waves. ‘Until the tide finishes coming in it’ll be fine.’
Annie eyed the ledge with suspicion. It didn’t look safe to her. High tide was in a couple of hours. ‘I think we’ll stay here, Floss. We can look for crabs and things in the rock pools.’
She dumped her bag on a rock and sat down next to it. The sun crawled out from behind a cloudbank, brightening the morning. Floss wandered a few metres away, squatted down and peered into a pool, dabbling her fingers in the water.
‘Watch Mattie, Hugh. Please?’
Hugh, surprised, said, ‘His dad’s there.’
‘I know but you watch him, too.’
‘He’ll be fine.’ Why would she think he could look out for her son better than his own father? He who had failed so dismally as a carer before.
‘Come on, Hugh,’ yelled James.
Hugh waved. He’d prefer to sit in the sun with Annie and play with Floss, show her things in the rock pools, chat, laugh with them. Just be with Annie.
‘Are you okay?’ She was looking up at him, smiling, eyebrows raised.
He swallowed, rubbed his lips together, tasted salt. ‘I miss you,’ he said softly. ‘Too much.’
For a long moment she stared, didn’t respond, didn’t react. Formulating a way to tell him she couldn’t change her situation, not now when they were resuming life as a family, unconventional though that may be.
‘Hugh! Hurry up.’
He threw her an apologetic smile and turned to stride away. Of all the cretinous things to say. He’d embarrassed her, that much was obvious. She wanted a friend not a complication.
Edward handed him a rod and told him where to stand and what to do. Hugh concentrated hard and followed the instructions. He swung his arm and with a flick of his wrist the line whooshed out over the swirling, heaving deep blue of the sea.
‘Not bad,’ said Edward and moved away to oversee James, who was kissing Leonie yet again. That relationship, now measurable in weeks, was one of the longest in James’ history and without a doubt Leonie’s as well. He hoped for both their sakes it lasted. If that turned to mud the fallout would be catastrophic.
He glanced over his shoulder to where Annie sat on her rock staring out into the distance. If only he could resolve his own love-life. And now there was that bloody awful article in the paper today about hospital negligence, listing a variety of cases where patients had been misdiagnosed and died or had the wrong operations. He wasn’t actually named but the hospital was and so was Lester Fuller. His sister was quoted in great detail. Hugh’s no comment comments were attributed to a resident specialist and it wouldn’t take anyone who cared long to figure out who that was. Bloody hell!
Gradually the fresh sea air, the screech of gulls, the rhythmic crash of water on rock and the hypnotic rise and fall of the waves exerted a soporific effect, slowing his brain, lowering his heart rate. He drew in deep lung cleansing breaths, exhaling the accumulated stress and tension. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday morning after all.
Forty minutes later he’d caught nothing but James had two reasonable sized fish wriggling in his bucket of seawater and Kevin had three in his.
‘Nearly enough for dinner.’ Leonie clapped as James threw his line out again.
‘I don’t like fish,’ said Mattie. He’d been alternating sitting next to his father and running back to Annie and Floss, but wandered over to Leonie and peered into the bucket.
‘You should try these. You won’t get anything fresher,’ said Edward.
‘Fish and chips,’ said Leonie. ‘I know you like chips, pumpkin.’
Mattie nodded. ‘But I like chicken and chips.’
‘You have to learn to try something new,’ said Kevin. ‘Mummy’s been too soft on you.’
Hugh glanced at Leonie and saw the flash of anger she couldn’t hide. She caught his eye and pulled a quick face. He grinned and turned away. A brisk breeze tugged at his jacket.
‘The wind’s picking up,’ he said. The tide was coming in, too. Spray splashed onto their feet and legs, and every now and again one of the bigger waves almost reached the top of the ledge they were on.
‘We’ll move along a bit,’ said Edward. He reeled in his line and walked a few metres to the left onto a slightly higher outcrop.
Kevin followed suit. ‘Bring the bucket Mattie, please.’
Mattie grabbed the handle with both hands and managed to lift the heavy bucket an inch or two off the ground.
‘I’ll take it.’ Leonie grabbed the handle and helped him. ‘It’s easier to climb up over here.’ She moved closer to the edge. ‘Hold my hand.’
‘Be careful, honey,’ called James. ‘Hey, I think I’ve got another one.’
Leonie stopped and turned just as an extra large wave burst over the lip of the rocks. One moment she and Mattie were there, the next they’d disappeared in a flurry of foam. Hugh fought to keep his feet in the surge of water, knee-deep and sucking him relentlessly towards the edge. He dimly heard a scream, saw James struggling, dropped his hold on the fishing rod.
Mattie! Where was Mattie? The wave receded as fast as it rose up. Hugh straightened and ran to the rocky edge. Leonie’s red shirt topped by a mass of blonde hair bobbed offshore. She trod water frantically, fighting the pull of the waves threatening to smash her against the rocks. James threw off his jacket took two steps and dived in.
‘James!’ Oh Christ! He needed help. Hugh flung off his own coat and shoes, waited for the swell to rise and dived in after him. Cold water closed over his head, the weight of his clothes pulled him down and down but he struck out strongly and came up with bursting lungs. A surge sent him perilously close to the rocks underwater, too close, jagged and harsh, ripping at his hand as he pushed away. James was two metres to his right swimming for Leonie. Where was Mattie?
Leonie screamed something and waved her arm, trying to point. Hugh fought the next big wave, felt his leg scrape against rock, but when he surfaced Mattie was grabbing desperately at a pile of boulders several metres offshore. Currents swirled him around dragging away from his goal then hurling him close with such force he couldn’t get a grip. His mouth opened and closed but the roaring of the surf swallowed any cries.
Hugh swam hard against the incoming swell then, just as he reached Mattie, his feet touched an underwater ledge. He grabbed at Mattie’s coat, missed. Salt stung his hands and red trailed into the water but his feet supported his weight and he was able to make a fingerhold on the boulder and lunge again as Mattie was flung by. This time his fingers scraped fabric and locked on. Mattie grabbed his arm.
‘It’s okay, I’ve got you now. Don’t let go.’
Mattie’s terrified little face looked up, white with shock and fear, coughing and spluttering. One handed, Hugh pulled himself up on to the rock above water level and leaned down to grab Mattie under the shoulders. Salt water lapped into his face and down his throat. He coughed and spat, tried again.
‘I’ve got you.’ The incoming wave lifted his body and Hugh took advantage to yank him up and clear of the water. Mattie wrapped both arms round his neck and hung on so tightly Hugh could barely breathe, but it didn’t matter because his own heart was bursting with relief and the knowledge that he’d saved this precious little boy’s life.
But James! James and Leonie. Hugh scanned the churning water, his stomach curdling with fear, but then above the pounding of the waves he dimly heard a voice. He looked shoreward and there were Kevin and Edward dragging Leonie onto the ledge where it was lower and she could climb up, while James stood further back, soaked but alive. His hands were cupped round his mouth and he was yelling but Hugh couldn’t hear the words. Annie was there too, well back from the edge, clutching Floss by the hand, her face distorted by fear, crying even though he was too far away to see clearly.
He waved. ‘We’re okay,’ he yelled. A wave splashed onto his legs and Mattie whimpered, tried to climb up his body.
‘It’s all right, Mattie. We’re safe.’ He edged a little higher but the top of the rock was sharp and jagged and difficult to keep his balance on.
‘How will we get off?’ Between sobs.
‘The Life Savers will come with a boat.’ Could they get a boat this close to the rocks in these conditions? No idea. The wind had increased, ripping and tearing at them like a wild animal. White tops had appeared on the breakers out to sea.
‘Will they?’ Mattie, inches away, stared into his face.
‘Yes. Mummy will have called them.’ She must have, surely.
‘What if they don’t come before the water gets too high?’
‘The water won’t come up this high.’ High tide was at least an hour away to test the truth of his statement. They’d be rescued by then. They must be. ‘They might send a helicopter.’
Mattie began shivering. Hugh cuddled him tighter, shielding the soaking child as well as he could from the wind.
‘We’re having an adventure, aren’t we?’ he said.
The head pressed against his chest nodded. ‘I’m not very brave.’
‘Yes, you are. You’re very brave. You kept swimming and you didn’t let go when I grabbed you.’
‘But I’m scared.’
‘So was I, but I’m not now because we’re safe on our big rock and we’re just waiting to be rescued.’
‘Why were you scared?’
‘I was scared I might not be able to save you.’
‘But you did.’
‘Yes.’ And as Hugh said it a weight seemed to fall from his shoulders. He dropped a kiss on Mattie’s wet, salty hair. ‘And you saved me,’ he murmured. He had saved this boy and somehow it seemed to clarify Mark’s death. He realised now with crystal clearness he wasn’t responsible, because Mark’s actions were independent of his own and as a twelve year old he wasn’t equipped to deal with any of it. He could no more prevent a determined Mark secreting matches in his room than stop the waves. If anyone had that responsibility, his parents did and that hell was what his stepfather truly couldn’t face up to.
Ten minutes later a yellow surf rescue boat charged around the headland with two crew on board.
‘See! We’re saved.’
Mattie lifted his head and gave a feeble cheer.
With great skill, the driver manoeuvred the outboard close enough for Hugh to pass Mattie across into strong hands when the swell lifted the boat against their precarious perch. A few tense minutes later Hugh leapt clumsily across and fell into the arms of the rescuer.
‘Sit down, mate, and we’ll have you ashore in no time. Any injuries?’ The man studied him through piercing blue eyes. He was very young. Early twenties. So young but so confident and competent.
‘No.’
Hugh collapsed next to Mattie and slung his arm around him.
‘You’re bleeding.’ Mattie lifted Hugh’s hand.
Hugh stared at the torn flesh on his palms and pain darted up his arms, as though waiting for him to register the injury. His left leg throbbed too, and when he looked down his jeans were shredded and bloody where he’d brushed against the razor sharp rocks. His feet were cold. One sock had gone.
‘We’ll get you fixed up, don’t worry, mate.’
‘Hugh’s a doctor,’ said Mattie.
The outboard accelerated towards the beach and drove up onto the sand. Hugh clambered ashore while the rescue men carried Mattie to the waiting rescue team. Someone threw a blanket over his shoulders and led him up the beach. The sand felt oddly warm and comforting under his bare foot. Dry land. Safety. No wonder rescued people kissed the ground. Leonie and James were already huddled together under their own blankets being attended to by a uniformed woman. He walked unsteadily towards them. His legs were as feeble as those of his elderly patients.
Then Annie was there, tears streaming down her cheeks, clutching Mattie as though she’d never let him go, until someone gently pulled her aside so they could do a medical assessment. She waited with Kevin, staring down at their son, two terrified parents who’d just had a brush with the worst nightmare of all. Losing a child.
The rescue woman with Leonie and James turned to Hugh. Another very young, confident, competent person.
‘Hello, my name’s Kim.’
‘I’m okay,’ he said. ‘I’m a doctor. Are they all right?’ He knew Mattie was. Mattie would be shocked and cold but nothing worse. He could be dead. He wasn’t.
‘Yes, a few scratches and shock but no real injuries.’ Her dark eyes assessed him rapidly. He knew that look. Professional, detached, making her own decision. He was a patient and patients know nothing. ‘I need to dress your hands and see to that wound on your leg. You may need stitches.’
She sat him down and it was only then Hugh’s body began shaking. He closed his eyes while she worked quickly and efficiently, cleansing the wounds and covering them gently. She taped his leg and stood up.
‘We’ll get you to hospital, Doctor. The ambulance will be here shortly.’
‘Thank you but I don’t need an ambulance.’ He had to steady himself before attempting to stand. She pressed a restraining hand on his shoulder.
‘Stay there. You’re in mild shock, you need stitches and you certainly can’t drive.’
James knelt by his side then, grasping his arm and beaming. ‘You saved him, Hugh.’
Hugh raised a smile. ‘And you saved Leonie. You idiot, you could have drowned jumping in like that.’ Without a thought, no doubts, just that Leonie and Mattie were in trouble. Typical, reckless James.
‘So could you. That’s what the surf rescue guys said. We’re both idiots — must run in the family.’
Hugh looked across at Annie. She turned at that same moment and her eyes locked with his. She walked the few steps over the sand and without a word knelt down and wrapped her arms around him.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered. Warm tears dripped on his cold neck. She sat back and studied his face, still with her hands on his shoulders. ‘I don’t know if I can ever thank you enough. He would have drowned if you hadn’t…’ She stopped and swallowed then sniffed. ‘I thought I’d lose you, too. I was terrified.’
Hugh shook his head. ‘You won’t. You won’t lose me, not if I can help it.’
A little smile trembled on her lips. He wanted to kiss her. She moved closer, fingers tightening on his arms.
Kevin appeared with Edward. He held out his hand. ‘Thanks, Hugh. You’re a real champion, mate. When I saw Mattie disappear like that it made me sick to the stomach but I was too far away to do anything.’
Hugh smiled and displayed his bandaged hands. ‘Sorry, I can’t shake.’
Kevin nodded and smiled back. ‘We’ve got your shoes and jacket.’ Edward held them out like a peace offering.
‘Thanks.’
‘You’ve lost a sock,’ said Annie and started crying again.
‘The ambulance is here,’ said Kim.
‘Well, look at you,’ said Thea as she stitched Hugh’s leg. ‘You’re a hero.’ She gave a deep chuckle which set her ample boobs quivering. Of all the Emergency Room doctors Thea was the most cheerful and unflappable. She’d seen it all and still came back for more.
‘Concentrate, Thea,’ Hugh growled. ‘I don’t want an embroidery pattern, thank you.’
‘If you go ripping yourself apart like that I don’t have much choice.’
Hugh sighed and closed his eyes. Thea would do a good job, he knew. He was lucky she was on duty today.
‘I’m not a hero.’
‘You must be. The media are out there waiting to interview you,’ she went on. ‘Saving that little boy’s life. That’s brave, Hugh. Or stupid. You were lucky, you could have been down in the morgue right now. We get plenty of misguided heroes through here.’
‘I didn’t even think about that.’
‘Exactly. That’s why you’re a hero. You and your cousin.’
‘I suppose that’s better than the last story they wrote about us.’
‘That’s for sure. Give them something good to talk about for a change.’ Thea’s nimble fingers finished stitching. ‘Done,’ she said. ‘Don’t go running around on it.’
‘Thank you. You’re a treasure.’
‘Hahaha. Take care, Hugh.’ She whipped the blue curtain aside and hurried off to her next emergency. A few minutes later a nurse he didn’t know came in with a plastic carry bag.
‘Your cousin brought these clothes in for you,’ she said.
‘Thanks. Where is he?’ James and Leonie had stayed with him for a while and then having received the all clear, headed home for dry clothes with Edward driving. James must have come back.
‘Talking to the reporters, I think.’
‘Is Mattie Fisher still here? The little boy?’
‘No, his parents took him home about an hour and a half ago. He was fine.’
The nurse left. Hugh looked at his watch. Nearly three. He’d been here for hours. While Hugh was sitting about in Emergency waiting to be sewn back together Mattie was safely home being fussed over by Annie and Kevin. Disasters were when families came into their own, closing ranks and supporting each other. Just like James did for him. He couldn’t expect Annie to worry about him. Not when her little son needed her.
He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. The sedative made his movements slow and his bandaged hands hampered him, but he removed the hospital gown and dressed in the loose track pants and sweater James had brought in. His still damp clothes he shoved into the plastic bag. The effort made him tired and he had to sit on the edge of the bed for a few minutes.
The last thing he wanted was to face the media. He’d text James and get him to come around to a back entrance to pick him up. His phone was in the jacket Edward had thoughtfully retrieved. Hugh laboriously picked out the message detailing exactly where to meet.
‘OK. Ten minutes.’
Hugh made his way out to the desk. ‘I’m leaving,’ he said to the duty nurse.
‘Is someone picking you up, Doctor?’
‘Yes, but I’m going out the back way.’
She nodded. ‘I’ll get someone to go with you.’
He opened his mouth to object but she held up her hand. ‘You know the rules.’
His attendant left him at the staff entrance to the X–ray department, leaning on the wall outside the door waiting for James to appear in the narrow side street. With any luck he wouldn’t be followed by some insistent reporter and they could go home in peace. Hugh yawned. He was hungry too. He’d bagged a cup of tea and a biscuit at some stage but the effects had long worn off. Two silver cars dawdled by then a third, a white one. A station wagon. Not James. It slowed, stopped and the driver tapped on the horn.
Hugh looked again. Annie! It was Annie’s car and she was waving through the windscreen at him. She jumped out and ran around to open the passenger door. He shuffled across, his newly repaired leg stiff and awkward and aching.
‘Hello.’ She kissed his cheek quickly. ‘Are you all right?’ She waited for him to get in then reached across and buckled his seat belt. He closed his eyes as the warm scent of her filled his nostrils. She was so beautiful, so perfect. The ache wasn’t only in his damaged limbs, it was in his heart.
‘What are you doing here?’
‘Picking you up.’
She closed the door and sprinted back to the driver’s seat.
‘Why? Where’s James?’
‘He’s being a media star.’ She laughed and checked the traffic before pulling out. ‘Distracting them from you.’
Hugh smiled. James wasn’t a reluctant hero. ‘Is Mattie all right?’
‘Yes. Thanks to you.’
‘I thought you’d be home with him.’
‘I was but Kevin’s there.’ She paused. ‘I thought you might need help.’
‘Thank you.’
‘I told James and Leonie I’d bring you home.’
‘Is Leonie here, too?’
‘No, she wanted to rest. She wasn’t hurt but it shook her up a lot.’
‘I bet. One minute they were there and the next, gone.’ He shook his head as the memory flashed vividly through his mind. The crash of the waves, the unstoppable force of the water dragging him off his feet. ‘They didn’t stand a chance. It came from nowhere. I nearly went too.’
‘I wasn’t watching when it happened. Floss and I were looking at a crab. I just heard the wave, and the scream.’ Her hands gripped the steering wheel. ‘I’ll never forget that feeling. That fear.’
‘It’ll fade, Annie, and Mattie’s safe.’
‘Maybe. Yes.’ She drove the rest of the way in silence. At the apartment block she parked in the street, another sharp reminder she didn’t live here anymore. ‘Do you have your key? James gave me his just in case. He’ll go up to Leonie’s when he comes in.’
‘Yes. It was in my jacket with my wallet and phone. Lucky.’
Annie helped him out and did all the things he couldn’t do with bandaged hands, like carry the bag of wet clothes, put the key in the lock and let himself in to the apartment.
‘Are you hungry? I’ll make something. You sit down,’ she said.
He was about to object, but she was already in the kitchen and he was too tired and brain-fuzzed to think clearly, so he slumped onto the couch. Cutlery and plates clinked, drawers and cupboards opened and closed, the electric jug filled and the low rumble filled the apartment when she switched it on.
Then she appeared with a pile of toasted sandwiches and tea things stacked on a tray he didn’t know they had. She poured tea and he managed to hold the cup in his right hand because the fingers were free and there was less damage to that one. She bustled and fussed and was motherly and every caring move was a stab in the gut because he didn’t want her to be motherly. He didn’t want to be her friend anymore, he wanted with every cell in his body to be her lover.
‘Thanks.’ He took a large bite of toasted cheese and tomato sandwich, and then another and another until it was gone. Annie sat opposite, smiling. How could he say what he needed to say to her? How could he possibly break into this domesticity and say he loved her?
Finally his hunger subsided and he relaxed against the cushions. Her eyes met his. Anxiety lurked there. She sat up straight, fingers entwined in her lap like a child about to confess a sin. The smile faded.
‘Hugh, I want to say something to you, I want to tell you something.’
He held his breath, but ice formed in his chest and spread to his stomach. He swallowed. What was she going to say? That she and Kevin weren’t divorcing? That this near tragedy had brought them closer together and they couldn’t break up the family?
‘What?’ His voice didn’t work properly. He didn’t want to hear the words but he couldn’t prevent them, she’d already started her speech. He clamped his teeth together to stop his jaw from shaking.
‘You saved my son’s life. You did it without a thought for your own safety, you dived straight in after him into that dangerous water. The rescue men said you could have drowned. All four of you.’ She stopped and whisked a tear from her eye. ‘They said you were incredibly lucky and incredibly stupid.’
He cleared his throat. She was thanking him, that was all.
‘So was James,’ he said. The Surf Rescue team had given them both a bollocking.
She leaned forward, intent on making her point. ‘Yes, but don’t you see? You proved how good a carer you are, how good a father you can be. You didn’t back away from the responsibility.’
‘I didn’t think,’ he murmured. She was so beautiful in her anxiety to thank him he couldn’t stand it, couldn’t think or speak for loving her. Couldn’t speak for fear that this was the end for them.
‘Because you didn’t have to, you knew the right thing to do and you did it — even though you risked your own life. You always have and you always will because you’re that type of man.’
Annie waited for a response but Hugh didn’t say anything. He sat on the couch listening to her babble and his expression gave nothing away. Perhaps the drugs they’d given him slowed down his brain, because he didn’t appear to be taking much in. Did he realise just how terrified she’d been she’d lost him and Mattie? Two of the three people she loved most in the world? She had to tell him. Now or never. Regardless of the result. If she didn’t speak the truth she’d explode — or implode. Something.
‘When you jumped in I really thought I’d lose you as well as Mattie,’ she said. His eyes locked with hers suddenly. She closed the gap between them, sat beside him.
‘I didn’t think you…’ he began. She placed a gentle finger against his lips so she could finish. If she didn’t she’d never have the nerve to start again.
‘Losing Mattie would be unbearable but so would losing you, Hugh. I love you. I can’t imagine being without you. I hate being apart from you. I miss you. My whole world has turned grey.’
To her dismayed astonishment, he laughed. Her mouth trembled and a couple of tears started down her cheeks. She turned away and tried to rise but he stopped her, gripping her arm with his good fingers, pulling her back to his side.
There was moisture in his eyes, too.
‘Annie, I thought you were going to tell me you and Kevin weren’t getting a divorce after all, that you couldn’t break up the family after what happened.’ She frowned and shook her head, but the tension left her body; she understood now. ‘I love you, too. I think I’ve loved you for ages — since we met — but I didn’t realise at first, and I knew you wouldn’t want me anyway, back then. When I did figure out how I felt I didn’t think you felt the same, and even if you had, I couldn’t offer you anything you wanted. Now I think I can.’
‘So do I. You can. You always could, Hugh.’
‘I thought you wanted to be just friends.’ He wrapped his arm around her shoulders drawing her close and she snuggled into his chest and exhaled all the accumulated doubt and worry. ‘It nearly killed me.’
‘I don’t.’
‘Neither do I. I’d much rather kiss you.’
She lifted her face and discovered his lips tantalisingly near. The small gap disappeared and her fantasy man became reality. This kiss was the one she’d dreamed about, the one she’d tasted too briefly in the kitchen and been too confused to return. She sighed in to his mouth and he tightened his hold. Her arms wrapped around his neck. It was real. He was real.
After a long time he said, ‘Is it too soon to think about living together? I know you’ve just had one bad experience and you’ve just moved house but I’d really like to. I think Mattie and Floss like me, but they’d need to know I wasn’t trying to replace their Dad.’
His expression was so vulnerable and anxious Annie had to reassure him with more kisses. ‘The kids adore you. I think Kevin would be happy to move out and live with Edward. Edward would want that. You could move into our house — unless you want to look for somewhere else? I’ll move if it means we can be together.’
‘Perfect. Mattie and Floss and I can have our dog. You haven’t got one yet, have you?’
She shook her head. ‘As long as you’re responsible for it.’
He smiled and squeezed her tight. ‘I will be. I’ll be responsible for all of you.’