‘All you have to do is tell the truth,’ Hugh said for the third time. Eleanor was a wreck; pasty-faced, with dark shadows under sunken eyes. She said she’d hardly slept, which wasn’t surprising considering what she’d been going through in the last few weeks.
‘I did the best I could with the information we had, didn’t I? You know that, you’ll tell them, won’t you?’
‘Eleanor, we’ll both state the facts as we know them.’
She stared at him, mouth partly open, lips moving wordlessly. ‘You’re not going to back me up, are you? Why won’t you? That crazy woman is trying to have me sacked and you know I did all I could.’
‘It’s not a matter of not backing you up.’
‘Well why not say you will? Tell them I did everything I could with the tests and results.’
Hugh stood up and came around his desk. He grasped her by the shoulders. ‘Don’t worry, it’s a process the coroner has to follow. He’s not out to apportion blame, just get at the facts, and that’s what I plan to give him. And so do you.’
She sucked in a deep shuddery breath and nodded. ‘Of course. I’m sorry. It’s just been such a…hell of a time recently.’ She wriggled free of his grasp and fished a tissue from her pocket.
‘Talk to Rachel Burns.’
Her head whipped up, eyes flashing. ‘I don’t need counselling.’
‘It can help to talk to someone.’
A feeble smile flickered on and off. ‘I am talking to someone. You.’
He managed to return the smile with a passable degree of warmth. How he wished she’d chosen a different confidant. He barely knew her. ‘I’m not much help to you.’
‘Oh but you are! You’re a good listener, Hugh, you’re so calm and you don’t gossip. Plus we’re in this together, aren’t we?’
He nodded. ‘Seems so.’
She backed towards the door, said, ‘Thanks,’ and was gone.
Hugh rubbed his hands over his face. Was she seriously asking him to say she’d done everything she could for Lester when she knew very well he thought she’d delayed bringing in Fred? The coroner’s independent expert would ask her that question. His own view wouldn’t be the only one and Fred would be asked for a statement. Thank goodness they only wanted a written report from him, stating his initial treatment and diagnosis and his presence at the death. Plenty of witnesses there. Lester was too far gone when he arrived at the bed. His involvement had been short and he’d already typed his statement up and sent it in. Couldn’t change anything now.
Eleanor really did need to talk to an expert, though. She was a woman on the edge. He picked up the phone and asked for Rachel Burns’ number.
Annie phoned the mechanic on Monday morning to find out what the damage to Kevin’s bank balance would be. Six hundred dollars — and the rest.
‘You’ve got a few other things needing attention too,’ the man said. ‘Both rear tyres need replacing and there’s an oil leak we haven’t investigated yet.’
‘Oh gosh. That sounds expensive.’
‘Could be. Depends where the leak is. It’s an old car, done a lot of k’s.’
‘I know. Maybe I should think about trading it in.’
‘That’s up to you but it won’t be worth much. Do you want us to go ahead with the starter motor?’
‘Yes, please.’ Not much chance of selling it if it didn’t start.
She hung up with a lump of dread expanding rapidly through her body. What if Kevin refused to pay for the repairs? Her credit card was almost full. Leonie would lend her some money but she wasn’t here. Who else? Julia? No, not a work colleague. Hugh? She discarded that immediately. She couldn’t possibly ask Hugh for money. Definitely not.
She’d call Kevin then try Leonie.
‘Hello, Annie!’ He sounded pleased. ‘I was hoping you might call over the weekend, and when you didn’t I wasn’t sure whether you’d want to speak to me ever again.’
‘Up until very recently I didn’t,’ she hissed, voice low, conscious of Julia sitting just out of earshot but trying hard to listen.
‘So you don’t mind about what I said, about being gay?’
‘No, why should I? You know me better than that.’ Trust him to focus on the one aspect of this mess that mattered least to her, but the office wasn’t the place to enter the jungles of her fury. Right now she wanted money from him. ‘As long as you treat the kids properly and help financially I don’t care what you do.’
He exhaled loudly. ‘Thanks, Annie. You’re a wonderful woman and I do love you, you know that.’
So in Kevinland that made everything right. Unbelievable. ‘Yes well… I need money, Kevin. For the car. The starter motor’s collapsed and the mechanic said I need two new tyres, and there’s an oil leak.’
‘Are you still driving the Tank?’
‘Of course I am. How could I possibly afford a new car?’
‘Maybe we should get rid of it.’ We? Already?
‘Yes, but it’s not much use if it doesn’t start. Can you help? I need it to get the kids to school.’
‘How much?’
‘Six hundred for the starter motor and I should get new tyres.’
‘Okay, I’ll put nine hundred into your account.’
‘Thanks.’
‘No problem, and we’ll think about replacing it.’
We again? Annie frowned. She glanced across at Julia who was now typing studiously.
‘I have to go. I’ll call you later.’
‘When can I see Mattie and Floss?’ he said quickly.
‘I haven’t told them you’re back yet.’
‘Tell them, Annie. I really want to see them.’
‘All right. I’ll tell them tonight.’
‘Great. Perhaps we can do something together over the weekend.’
‘With me. Not on your own!’
‘Whatever you say.’
Annie hung up, the dread dissolving away, leaving her light-headed with relief.
‘Problems with the husband?’ Julia asked.
Annie shook her head. ‘No. He’s being amazingly co-operative.’
Julia smiled. ‘See. I told you to give him a chance.’
‘You were right.’ Which was by far the easiest way to prevent more questions.
To Annie’s surprise, Leonie phoned that evening just as she was contemplating collapsing into bed. She rarely called when she was away. Out of sight out of mind. Too long single with no-one to check-in with at home.
‘Hello, how are you getting on? Is everything all right?’
‘Yes fine, how are you and Mattie and Floss?’
‘We’re fine. The car broke down which is a drag.’ She paused, anticipating the effect of her next item of news. ‘And Kevin has reappeared.’
‘Really? And what’s his excuse? I hope you told him to bugger off.’
Vintage Leonie. ‘No. Well, I did at first. He phoned me at work and I hung up on him, but I decided at least I had to meet him and see what he wanted.’
‘And?’
‘He’s very apologetic. He wants to see the kids and he’s paying for the car repairs.’
‘He bloody well ought to want to see his kids! He’s not trying to wheedle his way back in to your life, is he? Has he agreed to a divorce? You did ask him, I hope. He can’t expect…’
Annie cut across the diatribe. ‘Leonie, he’s gay. That was his whole problem, he was in denial for years but decided he really had to get himself sorted.’
A choking snorting sound erupted into her ear. ‘Oh my God! You’re kidding.’
‘I’m not.’
‘The total bastard. Didn’t it occur to him to tell you or even discuss it with you before he cleared out?’
‘Obviously not. His excuse was that it was a very confusing time for him. Everything he said was all about him and how hard it was for him, with the occasional sorry tossed in for my benefit. I nearly threw my soup at him at one point.’
‘You should have, it might have dawned on him there are two of you with problems. So…what? Does he have a boyfriend?’
‘Not that I know of. He’s not really comfortable admitting it publicly yet, I don’t think.’
‘Why not? It’s not something to be ashamed of.’
‘I know.’
‘So he’ll be happy to get a divorce then, that’s good.’
‘Well…no. He said he hadn’t thought about a divorce. Get this — he’d like us to still be a family. He said he still loves me, and he expected me to say that made what he did okay.’
‘Now he’s kidding. Why would either of you want to stay married? You don’t need to be, you’ll always be the kids’ parents.’
‘But there’s no rush if neither of us particularly needs to get a divorce. I’m happy as long as he takes his share of the financial responsibility again and takes care of them sometimes. I can restart the MBA and stop worrying about money for a while.’
‘That’s true to a point. But don’t you want to be independent of him?’
‘I can’t be until the children have grown up a bit.’
‘What if you want to remarry?’
‘That’s the last thing I want! But if I did then I’d rethink it.’
‘And what if he disappears again?’
‘I’d hire a hitman.’
‘Mmm. Anyway. Why I rang…’
‘Yes, why did you?’ Clearly not to see how Annie was doing. Leonie assumed things were going well unless someone said something to the contrary. It was up to them to say so if they weren’t happy, she maintained, she wasn’t a mind-reader.
‘I’m in Tokyo and I love it. In fact, the people I’m working with here asked if I’d like to relocate offices and head up their overseas legal department. I’ve talked about it with Henry back in Sydney and he thought it was a good move, although he wasn’t all that happy about it. They’d like to have someone they know in that branch, plus it’s a promotion of sorts.’
‘Wow! Good for you! How’s your Japanese?’
‘It’s reasonable, but I’ll be fluent in no time living here. The thing is, if I take it I’ll have to give up the apartment. There’s over two months on the lease which of course you can use up, even if I’m not there. Unless you want to take it over, but it’s not really suitable, is it? Kevin came back at just the right time, didn’t he? I felt really bad about having to throw you out, but if he’s here to help pay you’ll be able to find somewhere decent. A proper house with a garden. I’m so relieved.’
Annie gasped as her lungs emptied. ‘When are you leaving?’
‘They want me as soon as possible but I can’t move instantly. I need to look at the contract carefully first. I’ll have to find somewhere to live here, and pack up the apartment there and organise shipping and maybe storage. I’ll be back home next week to start sorting stuff out, but only for a few days because this project is still underway.’
‘Goodness. It’s so sudden.’
‘I know but it’s a great opportunity.’
‘It is, it’s wonderful. Congratulations.’
‘Thanks Annie, and guess what?’
‘What?’
‘I’ve filled in P for Portugal. Joao. Met him in the hotel bar my first night here.’
Annie gave a shout of laughter. She missed Leonie. ‘Blue or red?’
‘Red-hot. I’ll see you next week, probably Wednesday. I’ll let you know the flight. Love to the little rascals. I miss them.’
‘We miss you, too.’
On Wednesday Annie left work an hour early to collect the car. Kevin, true to his word, had transferred the money to her account. She’d checked.
‘This should get you around for a while longer,’ said the mechanic.
‘My husband wants to sell it.’
‘Good idea. That oil leak will cost you big money soon.’
‘As long as it gets me home today.’
‘It will.’
‘Thank you.’
Annie collected Mattie and Floss from the after-school minder and headed for home. She still hadn’t told them their father had returned, but he’d come good with the money so she had no excuse not to now.
‘Is the car all fixed?’ Floss asked.
‘Yes, but we might get a new one soon because this one is getting very old.’
‘A shiny new one?’ Mattie clicked himself into his seat. ‘Can we have a red car?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Have we got enough money?’ Floss asked.
Annie caught Floss’s eye in the rear-view mirror. The little face wore a worried expression. Her heart contracted. Children were sponges and they heard and absorbed far more than adults gave them credit for. What would they think when she told them they’d be moving again? The enforced move had upset them the first time, especially on top of Kevin’s disappearing act.
She couldn’t possibly afford to stay on in the apartment alone and it wasn’t suitable anyway.
‘Daddy will help us.’
‘But Daddy’s not here,’ said Mattie.
This wasn’t how she’d planned to tell them, but… ‘Daddy’s back in Sydney.’
‘Can we see him?’
‘Is he coming to live with us?’
‘Where is he?
The excited questions flooded over into the front seat. Annie said, ‘I’ll tell you all about it when we get home but I have to concentrate now, there’s too much traffic to talk.’
Floss bounced up and down as well as she could while strapped into her booster seat, clapping her hands. Mattie joined in laughing and clapping with his sister and chanting, ‘Daddy’s back, Daddy’s back.’
They poured into the foyer of the apartment block in an untidy scramble of schoolbags and children. Floss ran to press the button for the elevator and this time Mattie let her. Annie waited, clutching her purse to her side, her mouth a grim line. Her hitman remark to Leonie was no joke. If Kevin let these two down again she’d track him down and kill him herself.
James came out of his apartment dressed for a night out.
‘Hello everyone,’ he called.
‘Hello James, our Daddy’s back,’ said Floss.
‘He can play football with us,’ said Mattie.
James cocked an enquiring eyebrow at Annie. ‘That’s good news.’
‘We’ll see,’ she said.
‘And we’re getting a new car,’ said Mattie. ‘Daddy will help us. I want a red one.’
‘Red is good. They go faster.’
‘Do they?’ asked Floss. ‘Why?’
The elevator clunked to a halt. Annie chivvied the children inside. ‘Bye, James.’
‘See you later.’ He waved and continued on his way. No doubt the news would reach Hugh very quickly.
It did. The knock came while she was on the phone after dinner, in the kitchen telling Kevin about the car, and he was asking when they could meet on Saturday. Mattie and Floss were sprawled on the couch watching a family movie on TV, unaware who she was talking to.
‘Hang on, someone’s at the door.’ Hugh, no doubt.
But Mattie was already letting him in and telling him Daddy was back.
‘Come in, Hugh,’ she waved him in and put the phone to her ear. ‘I have to go. I’ll call you in the morning.’
‘First thing,’ said Kevin. ‘I want to see my children.’
Annie hung up.
‘Watch the movie with us, Hugh,’ called Floss. ‘It’s about dogs that can talk.’
‘No, I need to talk to your mum,’ he said and smiled at Annie. He sat on one of the high stools at the kitchen bench.
‘Drink?’
‘Tea, please.’
She turned her back and filled the electric jug. When they moved he’d leave a gaping hole in her life. How had that happened so fast? He’d moved from fantasy man to friend in no time at all. No, he was still her secret fantasy of a lover. He was perfect. He was both. Would he miss her?
‘Got any cake?’
Miss her cooking, maybe. ‘No, I haven’t had the time to bake this week. Or the energy.’
‘Hey, I was kidding.’ Had she snapped and growled without noticing? He was off the stool and by her side before she realised. ‘You’ve had a rotten week.’
And he only knew half of it. She spooned tea into the pot, face averted. If she looked into his eyes and saw the sympathy she knew was there she’d crumple. It was bad enough he was so close she could feel the warmth radiating from his body. The temptation to lean against him and snuggle in was almost irresistible.
‘We have to move,’ she said softly. ‘Leonie’s been offered a position in Tokyo and she’s most likely taking it. It’s a promotion so she’d be mad not to, and she loves it there, she said.’
‘When?’ The shock in his voice was real and spontaneous.
‘Now. She’s coming back next week to start packing up. They want her there as soon as she can be organised.’ She grabbed two mugs from the shelf.
Hugh stepped away. ‘Where will you go?’ He opened the fridge and found the milk.
She flung a worried glance at the living room. ‘Keep your voice down. They don’t know yet. The lease has two months left and Leonie said we can stay until that runs out.’
‘She’s very generous.’
‘Yes, she is.’ The jug clicked off. Annie continued making the tea on automatic.
‘Two months.’
‘I’ll have to start looking straight away.’
‘Will your husband help?’
‘He’d better. He paid for the car repairs and he said he’ll help buy a new one so he’s being co-operative for the time being.’ Annie heaved a vast sigh. ‘Why does life have to be so difficult?’
Hugh didn’t answer. He was probably thinking she had it easy compared to a lot of other people. Millions of other people, for that matter. Her problems weren’t problems in the grand scheme of things. She and the children were healthy, she had a job, a home for the time being and Kevin was back and willing to pull his weight.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I’m feeling sorry for myself again. Sorry. I’ll stop whingeing now.’
His arms closed around her. ‘You’re not a whinger. And things are tough for you at the moment but you’ll survive, Annie. You’re a strong woman. A wonderful woman.’
She looked up into his face, surprised by the intensity of his tone, and his lips landed on hers with a firmness that surprised her even more. This wasn’t the reassuring kiss of a friend offering comfort and support; this kiss was something else entirely. Annie froze for a moment, trying to decipher such an unexpected development from a man she’d dreamed of kissing since she’d met him but who wasn’t the slightest bit interested in a family. He knew her situation. Why would he kiss her like that? What was happening? She couldn’t allow herself to enjoy this; it was too dangerously addictive and would lead nowhere. A dead-end.
Hugh slowly released her mouth from his as disappointment threatened to swamp him. She hadn’t reacted, at least not in the way he’d hoped. She hadn’t returned his kiss. True she hadn’t pushed him away, just waited politely for him to stop. Intense embarrassment followed, hot and uncomfortable. How on earth could he look her in the eye again?
‘Now, I’m sorry,’ he said.
‘Why? I didn’t mind. It was nice. Surprising, but nice.’
Nice? Worse and worse. He wanted it to be stunning and show her what he couldn’t say adequately in words — that she was a beautiful, attractive, marvellous woman. ‘Thanks.’
‘Why did you do that?’ She sounded more curious than anything.
‘It seemed like a good idea.’ He smiled. ‘But it probably wasn’t.’
She shook her head slowly. ‘I can’t handle anything…like that at the moment. You don’t really want to either, not with me, it makes everything too complicated.’ Her eyes met his, burning with an intense light. ‘I need you as a friend, Hugh.’
He licked his lips. What she was telling him was as clear as it could possibly be. She didn’t find him attractive, she didn’t want their relationship to develop into anything more but she was sweet and kind-hearted enough to let him down gently. He raised his mug as his heart sank to his feet with a dead weight of his own making.
‘Here’s to friendship.’ Too complicated? Life was complicated. He didn’t want to fall for a married woman with two children but he had, or was well on the way to it. She was the last woman he’d choose, if he had a choice. He was mad to have kissed her and she was right.
Annie smiled that delicious smile and his lips tingled at the memory of the kiss. He wanted to do it again. The urge was so powerful he took a step backwards to avoid grabbing her.
‘Friendship,’ she echoed.
The best he could do was stick around and be the friend she needed him to be. With Leonie away and that husband back in town, what choice did he have?
Hugh slid onto the stool again. ‘Where do you think you’ll go?’
‘I really don’t want to move schools again. They’ve only just settled in and I’ve got the after-school care fixed, so I’ll look in this area. It’ll be expensive though.’
‘But now you’ll have your husband’s input.’
‘Yes. I’ll need to go east a suburb or two, I think, even if it means a bit longer to school and work.’
Hugh nodded. ‘You’ll look for a house?’
She nodded. ‘Mattie wants a dog so we might even be able to have one.’
‘I always wanted a dog when I was a kid but that never happened. My aunt liked cats so James didn’t have one either.’
‘I doubt whether they let you have pets here.’
‘No. Anyway an apartment’s no good for a dog. They need a yard.’
‘Yes.’
‘The movie’s finished, Mummy,’ called Floss. The muted roar from the TV stopped abruptly.
‘Bedtime.’ Annie stood up. ‘Bathroom and teeth first.’
‘Will you read our stories, Hugh? Please?’ Floss, cute as a button in pink pyjamas, came to lean on his knee.
Hugh smiled. Who could resist? ‘All right. One each.’
Floss laughed. ‘That always means two each.’
‘Tonight it really means one.’ He tried a stern face but failed when Floss, hands planted on hips, copied his frown then started giggling.
‘Come on, sugarplum. Teeth brushing.’ Annie swept her daughter away.
Mattie came out of the bathroom. ‘Our daddy can read our stories now.’
‘Sometimes,’ said Annie.
‘Hugh can still read them on other times,’ Floss said. ‘Can’t you, Hugh?’
He glanced at Annie. ‘If you like.’
‘But won’t Daddy be living with us?’ Mattie looked at Annie, face crumpled with concern.
‘I’m not sure what Daddy wants to do. We have to talk about it.’
‘When?’
‘Get into bed or you won’t have time for any stories.’
Mattie reluctantly climbed into the top bunk. He pulled up the covers. ‘When will you and Daddy talk about it?’
‘Tomorrow. Floss, are you finished?’ Annie went to chase up Floss in the bathroom.
‘Which story would you like, Mattie?’ asked Hugh.
‘The one about the dinosaurs.’
Hugh searched through the neat pile of library books on the little bookshelf. ‘We haven’t had this one before.’ He sat on the end of Floss’s bed.
‘We went to the library. Will we still be able to play football when Daddy comes to stay?’
‘I don’t see why not but I’m not sure he will be coming to stay here. There’s not much room, is there?’
‘There’s enough room in Mummy’s bedroom.’
Fortunately Floss came bouncing in and saved him from coming up with a response to that. Annie would have to explain the situation and put a stop to Mattie’s hopes for a reunion. Unless she didn’t want to stop them. But that was insane. The man was gay!
A book plopped onto his lap. Floss said, ‘Read mine first, Hugh.’ She dived into bed and wriggled into position.
‘No, I gave him my book first,’ said Mattie.
‘But we had yours first last time. Mummy read it.’
Hugh stood up with both books behind his back, one in each hand. ‘Annie, come and choose,’ he called.
Annie appeared in the doorway.
‘What do I have to choose?’
‘Pick a hand.’ Hugh faced her with his back to the wall.
She smiled and met his eyes for an instant. He’d miss these story sessions, he’d miss these children. He swallowed. They weren’t his, they were Annie’s and her husband’s. He had no claim. When they moved from this apartment they’d be gone from his life. Two months.
‘Left.’
He waited a beat while two faces watched anxiously then slowly brought his left hand into view. Mattie’s book. ‘Dinosaurs.’
Annie was watching the TV news when he emerged. He sat next to her.
‘Mattie’s expecting his father to move in here. Into your bedroom.’
She turned her head swiftly. ‘Did he say that?’
‘Yep.’
‘Good grief. Can you imagine?’ She smothered a tired sounding laugh.
He didn’t want to imagine any such thing. ‘You’ll have to tell them you’ll be moving and their Dad will be living somewhere else.’
‘I know. But I’m only just absorbing the whole mess myself.’
‘The sooner they know the better.’
Annie clicked off the TV and straightened. ‘I’ll tell them when I think it’s best. I don’t want them worried we won’t have anywhere to live, like last time.’
‘But they have to realise their Dad’s not going to be living with you. They’re assuming things will go back to how it was before.’
‘A couple of days thinking that won’t matter. I have to talk to Kevin first.’
Hugh exhaled but said nothing.
‘What?’ she demanded.
‘I didn’t say a word.’
‘But you’re thinking plenty of them.’
‘What I think is irrelevant, Annie. This is your life and your family. You have to decide what you think is right.’
‘But?’
‘Just take everything into account.’
‘Meaning?’
‘Don’t make any rash decisions.’
‘I don’t understand what you’re getting at. I have to make some decisions fairly quickly or we’ll be homeless again.’
‘You won’t be homeless.’
‘How do you know? What if Kevin does another bunk?’
‘I’ll help you.’
‘You?’ Her level of surprise was almost insulting.
‘Of course I’d help you. I couldn’t watch you be evicted and not help somehow.’
‘How?’
‘How?’
‘Yes, exactly how would you help us? A loan? I wouldn’t take money from you.’
Hugh’s brain spun. How would he help? The offer had been spontaneous and rash. He hadn’t thought it through. He sifted and discarded possibilities. He could househunt, help her find a place — a house. But she couldn’t afford a house, she’d need to share. Not with that husband, not with a stranger, but…‘We could share a house.’
‘What?’
The idea blossomed. Was it so ridiculous? He’d prefer to live in a house, she and the children had to. ‘We could find a house with a yard and we could share. Mattie and I could have a dog.’
‘Hugh…’ Annie’s stunned face swam before his eyes.
‘If we have to.’
‘We won’t.’ The dream shattered. The dog ran yelping down the street. ‘There’d be a million other ways before that.’
‘Would it be so bad?’
‘Thanks, Hugh.’ Annie touched his cheek gently. He wanted to turn and press his lips to her fingers, make her understand his attraction was real, a possibility between them. ‘But believe me. It’d be a nightmare. I need something permanent, something I can count on long-term.’
He matched her tone, forced a lid on the dangerous passion. ‘Can you count on your husband?’ His mobile phone chirruped. ‘Sorry. I’m on call tonight.’ He fished it from his pocket, grateful for the interruption, had a quick look at the message. ‘I have to go.’
Annie walked with him to the door. ‘Don’t worry about us, Hugh. We’ll manage. And thanks for offering to help. I really appreciate it.’
Could he risk another kiss? He hesitated — she was confused, she was vulnerable. Impossible to add another layer. He nodded. ‘I have to go. Goodnight.’
‘Goodnight.’
Annie closed the door and leaned on it as the strength drained from her limbs. What had all that been about? He kissed her and she’d been barely able to force herself into a semblance of normal, what with the zinging of her skin and the roar of desire in her blood. Had he noticed? Did he realise what his kiss did to her? Was he just fooling around? The questions hammered in her head. Why? ‘Seemed like a good idea,’ he said. Well it wasn’t a good idea, it was a terrible idea unless he meant it to mean more than he clearly did. He shouldn’t do that sort of thing! Not to her. Not while she was in this horrible meltdown part of her life.
Thank God he’d retreated and thank goodness for the kids. They’d saved her from making a total fool of herself because if he’d kissed her again… Not worth thinking about. Annie prised herself off the door and wandered to the kitchen to clean away the tea mugs.
And offering to share a house with them! As friends? That came from nowhere. Ridiculous. Annie shoved the crockery into the dishwasher and slammed the door. She clicked off the lights, locked the balcony door against Spiderman and headed for bed.
Hugh did have one point though. She had to tell Mattie and Floss what was happening. She’d ring Kevin first thing and organise to meet him on Saturday. And he could tell them himself.
Annie sat at the picnic table in the park and watched Kevin throw the football to Mattie. Floss ran about aimlessly, so excited she couldn’t concentrate on the game.
So far so good. Kevin loved his children, that much was obvious, and for Annie a vast relief. He’d brought them presents from his time in Asia, which meant he hadn’t forgotten them despite all evidence to the contrary and he quickly broke down an initial shyness with one of his silly family jokes. Suddenly the previous horror year fell away and he was Daddy again.
But there was that niggling underlying doubt. Could she trust him? Would accepting his own sexuality remove the desire he’d had to escape their life together? Or was there another version of Kevin out there waiting to be found?
Kevin and the children walked across to her and collapsed onto the bench. Annie handed out drinks. When was he going to tell them he wasn’t coming to live with them? She’d made it very clear on the phone they had to know what was happening and she’d also made it very clear she’d need help with the rent when they found a new place to live. An initial search of the property market revealed a number of suitable places but astronomically out of her reach on a single income. And then there was the car issue. What would she do if he baulked when it came to the crunch?
‘It’s great to see you two again,’ said Kevin. ‘You’re so big now.’
‘You missed my birthday,’ said Floss. ‘And Mattie’s, too.’
He tousled her curls. ‘I’m sorry, petal. I won’t miss any more birthdays, I promise.’
‘Are you coming to live with us?’ asked Mattie. ‘Hugh said there’s not much room in our place but Mummy’s bedroom is really big.’
‘Who’s Hugh?’
‘He’s a friend. He lives downstairs,’ Annie put in swiftly. ‘He’s been very supportive.’
‘Oh yes?’ Kevin raised an eyebrow. How dare he?
‘Hugh reads us our stories,’ said Floss.
‘And he and James play football.’
‘Who’s James?’
‘His cousin,’ Annie said. ‘No, Daddy’s not going to live with us anymore because we’re getting a divorce.’
‘My friend Sally’s parents are divorced,’ said Floss. ‘And William’s.’
Mattie’s lip trembled. ‘But does that mean you and Daddy don’t like each other?’
‘No darling. It means…’ Annie stopped.
‘It means we like each other and we love you but Mummy doesn’t want to be married anymore.’
Annie hissed in air. The bastard. Mummy doesn’t want to be married?
‘Why not?’ Two pairs of eyes swung to her.
‘Because Daddy wasn’t happy living with us and wants to live by himself. There’s no point being married.’
‘But why don’t you want to live with us, Daddy?’
‘I do. In fact I thought we could all live together in another house.’
‘Yay!’ Floss bounced up and down then draped herself over Annie. ‘We could do that, couldn’t we, Mummy?’
Annie glared at Kevin.
He said, ‘You have to move anyway so why not?’
‘Take the football and play, you two,’ Annie said. ‘I want to talk to Daddy.’
When they were far enough away she turned, furious. ‘How dare you say that in front of them?’
‘Calm down. It’s a good idea.’
‘I want a divorce Kevin, can’t you get that through your head?’
‘Okay, we’ll get a divorce but we can still share a house. Don’t you see? It’s a perfect solution. The kids will have both their parents, we can share minding and pick-ups and everything we used to do, and it’ll be cheaper. We can find a really decent house.’
‘We used to have all of that.’ Was he mad? Or was she? Some of what he was saying was making sense. ‘And what about you? What about your boyfriends?’
‘Or yours,’ he fired back. ‘We can be discreet. But you said you don’t have anyone else. Unless this Hugh is a contender.’ He chuckled smugly.
‘He’s a friend and you haven’t answered my question. What about your boyfriends? Do you have someone?’
‘Not specially.’
But the way he said it and the way his glance slid away from her to follow the children made her wonder. She’d thought she knew the man, now she knew she didn’t. He’d kept a major part of himself from her, not even able to broach his secret with her when it became impossible for him to bear. How could she entrust that most important part of her life — her children — to him?