Wendy’s[1] parents were always open to spiritual things—well, kind of. They weren’t really open to Christianity, just a lot of other types of spirituality. So when Wendy became a Christian when she was 12, she faced a lot of questioning about her faith and learned to defend her beliefs well. In other words, she knew a lot about Christianity.
But there was one area of her life in which Wendy had a major disconnect with her beliefs—her sexuality.
Her parents were good, moral people, but they didn’t really talk about sex very much. When they finally sat Wendy down for “the talk,” Wendy’s response was, “So what do you want to know?”
By the time she was in high school, Wendy had been sexually active for a while—even while attending church regularly. “I understood that I wasn’t supposed to have sex before marriage,” Wendy explains, “but nobody really talked about the subject at youth group.”
A month after she started dating her high school boyfriend, they had sex. At first Wendy felt bad about what she had done. But she didn’t stop. She thought she was in love with this guy, and she also liked the way sex felt. She had bought into the lies from TV and music—that sex was the ultimate way a person could experience and express true love.
After a year and a half of dating, Wendy and her high school boyfriend broke up and went their separate ways.
While in college, Wendy continued her dual life. She found a great church in her college town and was an active part of the college and career group. But she also got involved in another sexual relationship—this time with a guy who was older than her and recently separated from his wife.
People at Wendy’s church found out about her living arrangements and decided to confront her about it. But when Wendy’s “friends” from church approached her, they weren’t very friendly. There was nothing loving about the way they talked to her. Their words were very condemning, judgmental, and harsh. And that was the last they said to her because after that confrontation, they cut off all communication with Wendy, giving her the silent treatment every time she came to church or any group functions.
Wendy felt overwhelmed with guilt and anger. She knew what she was doing was wrong, but she was angry and hurt at how she was being treated. Her world was spinning out of control. She was depressed and running away—not only from other Christians but also from God.
So when Chelsea became friends with Wendy, Wendy’s expectations were pretty low. She knew as soon as Chelsea found out about her other life, she would be gone. Chelsea did find out, and amazingly, she didn’t go anywhere. When they talked about what Wendy was doing, Chelsea was very compassionate and honest. And afterwards, Chelsea stayed around. She was a part of Wendy’s life. She continued to be her friend—even though at the time Wendy’s situation didn’t change.
Through that relationship and Chelsea’s genuine concern and love, Wendy was drawn back to Christ. Chelsea loved her like Jesus did. She didn’t justify Wendy’s behavior or condone it, but she loved her in spite of it. Years later, they are still friends.
In time Wendy made other friends who supported her renewed commitment to God. And as she began to do a 180 and started connecting every area of her life with her faith, the revolution in her also began to change her criteria for the kind of guys she dated. She knew she had to be the right person to attract the right kind of person. She said, “I knew I needed to be with somebody whose relationship with the Lord was more important than his relationship with me.”
Chelsea saw Wendy the way Jesus saw her. She didn’t condone her sin. She didn’t support what Wendy was doing, but she supported her and loved her. And through that love, Wendy saw Jesus’s love in a way that she had never seen before. To her it was revolutionary—and it forever changed her life.
God cares for the Wendys of the world. God weeps over their hurt, pain, and guilt. Psalm 34:18 says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 147:3 echoes that by promising, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 56:8 declares: “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle” (NLT).
God not only cares but also wants to get through to the Wendys of the world. How does he do it? Through regular people like Chelsea—through people like us. Can you think of someone you know who’s doing life all wrong and assumes that God really doesn’t care?
[ not the only one ]
“God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).
There’s something in that verse that a lot of Christians miss: God loves you—but he also loves the world.
He not only wants you to have his best when it comes to love, sex, and relationships—he wants that for everyone. First Thessalonians 5:9 says, “God chose to save us through our Lord Jesus Christ, not to pour out his anger on us” (NLT).
You can take all that you’ve learned from this book and keep it to yourself. You can live out your own sex180 and let the rest of your school, family, and friends fend for themselves.
It’s their choice, right? Maybe. But they may not even know they have a choice.
After all, the other way to live out your sexuality has a lot of voices. Plenty of people are proclaiming that message.
Yeah, you can walk away and let this only be a revolution of one—but you’re going to have to ignore a lot.
Just look around you. What kind of debris do you see? That’s why you need to speak out. The Bible says, “Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you’re living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy” (1 Peter 3:15 Message).
You need to speak out with your life and the love of Christ to that guy who thinks the only way he can find someone to halfway care about him is to use every girl he dates.
You need to speak out with your life and the love of Christ to that girl who says she loves Jesus but whose outfit says she also likes everyone looking at her body.
You need to speak out to every guy who thinks that a relationship is all about him and he can say or do anything he wants as long as his needs get met.
You need to speak out to that girl who thinks that just because she’s not the hottest girl at school she has to get the guys by giving them whatever they want.
You need to speak out to the guy with STDs. The girl who has had an abortion.
You need to speak out to every person who has sold out who they really are because they just want to be sexy.
You can speak out to every family that’s been torn apart by every twisted lie about sexuality—abuse, rape, molestation, affairs, pornography.
You speak out with your life, with your words, with genuine concern, and with love—real love. Not a “have to” love but a love that says, “I care too much to see you living a lie. I care too much to see you settling for so much less. I care too much to see you searching for something you’re never going to find in those relationships.”
Most of all, you want to speak out for God’s heart. You’ve seen it. It’s changed you. His love. His boundaries. His passion to give you his best. All things you can’t walk away from because deep down, you know it’s truth. It’s what your soul was longing to hear.
It’s what their souls are longing to hear too.
The world needs to hear. Your world needs to hear.
You’re living it.
Now it’s time to say it.
It’s not about reciting a script.
It’s not about reading off a page from this book.
It’s not about judging or feeling superior to others.
It’s about telling what God has done in your life, in your relationships, in your heart. It’s about telling your story and how God has written this chapter.
You can do this. God’s given you the gear.
You can change your world. You can launch a revolution in your house, in your school, at your part-time job, in your club, on your team, in your youth group.
God will provide the opportunity—you just have to do something with it.
[ you’re a revolutionary! ]
Whether you like it or not, you’re a revolutionary.
“Thanks but no thanks,” you may be thinking. “That’s not really who I am. I’m not really a leader.”
But you are. In fact, every one of us is called to lead at some point in our lives. It’s a matter of whether you’re willing to step up and answer that call.
In his book Summoned to Lead, author Leonard Sweet says:
We’re all “players” in life. Yet sometimes life summons “players” to be “leaders.” It may happen only once or twice in life. Sometimes life takes shape in such a way that a player is like the missing piece of a puzzle: the exact fit for the situation. Up to that point, the jagged pieces of your life don’t seem to fit into any significant pattern. But then life calls you and summons you forth. A player in life becomes a leader, and even “born leaders” find themselves following the summoned leader.[2]
There’s no such thing as a natural leader. Sure, there may be someone who enjoys the spotlight more, has better organizational skills, or has a more persuasive personality than you—but everyone has a moment (or moments) when they are called to lead.
It’s not always big things like a revolution. Maybe you’re asked to lead a club at your school, lead a Bible study at your youth group, or lead your band.
When those moments come along, you can sit back and wait for someone else to do it, someone with a few more skills than you. But you may be waiting for a while.
Sometimes you just have to do something.
And whether you think you’re the perfect person for the job isn’t the issue. It’s a matter of who will hear the call and obey.
Besides, God chooses unusual people to lead others.
[ isn’t there someone else? ]
When God appeared to Moses at the burning bush and told Moses that he would lead the Israelites out of Egyptian captivity, Moses’s first reaction was, “Who, me? You’ve got to be kidding!” (not an exact translation, but pretty close—see Exodus 3–4). And he had a good point. After all, Moses was on the run. He had fled Egypt after murdering an Egyptian and had been hiding out in the desert ever since.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe your past history is less than stellar. You’ve made some mistakes. You’ve used people. You’ve had sex. You’ve never really connected your faith and this area of your life. So shouldn’t God use someone a little more perfect—someone who has never made a mistake in this area? Maybe someone who wears a big V on their sweater and shouts their virginity not as a declaration of their purity but more as an “I’m so much better than you” attitude?
The irony is that God never calls the people who—in our culture or in the church—we would lift up on a pedestal and think is the perfect person for the job because, well, he or she is perfect (or at least appears that way on the outside).
If you look at most of the heroes in the Bible, like the ones mentioned in Hebrews 11, you’ll see that for his various tasks God consistently picked those who had a few skills and a lot of brokenness. The people he wants serving him and carrying out the things that are close to his heart are the ones who realize that they don’t have it all together and need God’s help for the job.
For some reason Moses was the person God chose to go to Pharaoh and demand that the Israelites be released from their captivity. Moses didn’t share God’s confidence. In fact, he knew a lot of reasons why he wasn’t the man for the job. Maybe they sound like yours.
[ who do you think i am? ]
Moses said, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” (Exodus 3:11).
Moses thought he was the last person in the world who could convince Pharaoh to do anything. There had to be someone with a better reputation and better skills who could handle the job, right? Someone with a higher profile than a former palace resident/murderer/shepherd/fugitive from justice.
God knew Moses’s resume, but God wasn’t expecting Moses to pull off this task on his own. “I will be with you,” he said (Exodus 3:12).
God’s not expecting you to do this revolution alone. If you stand alone at your school or in your home or with your friends, you’re never really alone. He’s there with you.
[ they’re going to think i’m crazy ]
Moses had another good point: “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The LORD did not appear to you’?” (Exodus 4:1). Pharaoh might think Moses had spent a little too much time alone with his sheep or that he should have been wearing a little more sunblock to keep from frying his brain.
God told Moses to throw down his staff. Moses did, and it became a snake (Exodus 4:2–3).
God took something from Moses’s life, something that was a part of his normal daily routine, and asked Moses to surrender it to God in obedience. Then God turned it into something holy. “This,” said the Lord, “is so that they may believe that the LORD, the God of their fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has appeared to you” (Exodus 4:5).
What’s God asking you to give him? What is something from your life that when you hand it over to him, he can use for his plan—a position you hold, a group you’re a part of, a skill you have, a friendship, a broken family? God gives you opportunities. He probably has already placed you exactly where he wants you to declare his truth. He’s preparing you daily for the opportunity.
[ this doesn’t quite fit my skills and abilities ]
Moses continued, “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue” (Exodus 4:10).
God knows every strength and every weakness in your life. He knows what he’s getting when he asks you to step up and lead. As he told Moses, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say” (Exodus 4:11–12).
[ no thanks. i’ll pass on this one. maybe next time. ]
Moses asked God, “Please send someone else to do it” (Exodus 4:13). God sent Aaron, Moses’s brother, to help. But Moses wasn’t off the hook. God wanted Moses to be a part of this. He wanted Moses to lead. He provided some support so Moses wouldn’t feel like he was flying solo, but ultimately God was using Moses to get his message across. God said, “You shall speak to [Aaron] and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him” (Exodus 4:15–16).
Maybe you feel the same way Moses did—“God, I’ll pass on this one. Let someone else take this on.”
Maybe we could get by with that in the past. But it’s not going to work anymore. Too many people are dying around you. And once you know the truth, you have to do something with it.
God will provide the moment for that to happen. You’ll know because the Holy Spirit will make it so clear and obvious that if you decide to walk away, you’ll know you have not only missed out but also disobeyed God. And the moment will haunt you.
[ nothing random ]
If you have your eyes open, you’ll see that nothing is random about our world. Everything has a design, a purpose, a plan. All the unconnected, seemingly sporadic things in our lives come together in “aha” moments when we realize that God was working something much bigger all along.
Esther, who was a Jew, was living in the king’s palace as his wife when she got word that Haman, a noble in King Xerxes’ court, had put the word out that all the Jews were to be annihilated. The news came from Mordecai, Esther’s cousin who had been like a father to her since her parents’ deaths.
Esther wasn’t sure what to do. The only way she could stop what was going on was to go to the king in person and ask that he spare her people. The problem? Even a queen couldn’t go into the king’s presence without an invite.
Esther sent the following message to Mordecai: “All the king’s officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that he be put to death. The only exception to this is for the king to extend the gold scepter to him and spare his life. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king” (Esther 4:11).
Mordecai responded, “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to a royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:13–14).
Esther decided, “Okay, I’ll do this, but I’m going to need some backup. I’m going to need some support.” And she put out a request to make sure that it wasn’t just her walking into the king’s presence but that God was right there with her. She told Mordecai, “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:16).
What’s it going to take for you to speak up? At what point do you say, “I don’t care about the obstacles that are in my way, I’m going to do this”?
Are you going to wait till it costs you something? What’s the price going to be to motivate you? Your friends? Your family?
Or are you going to let the price others are paying be reason enough to speak out?
[ speak out ]
You don’t have to be a super-alpha male/female who always wants to be in charge. You don’t have to be the person who’s always looking for a cause.
This revolution is for every person. Every type. Remember, God gives you opportunities. He places you in positions “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14). You just have to seize them.
For Ella Gunderson, it happened at the mall.
Ella was shopping at a local Nordstrom department store in Washington with her older sister Robin and her mom. Her sister was trying to find the right pair of jeans, and Ella was just sitting on the floor outside the dressing room.
The sales clerk at the store encouraged Robin to buy the smaller size so she could have “the look”—tight and sexy. As her sister continued to shop, Ella was her normal, quiet, 11-year-old self. But on the inside, her mind was racing.
Ella was tired of there only being one way to look. She was tired of a culture that says, “This is how you have to dress if you want to be fashionable.”
So when she got home, she decided to write a letter to Nordstrom. She was polite in her letter but very straightforward about what was on her mind.
“I see all of these girls who walk around with pants that show their belly button and underwear,” she wrote. “Even at my age, I know that is not modest.”
“With a pair of clothes from your store, I would walk around showing half of my body,” Ella wrote. “Your clerks suggest that there is only one look. If that is true, then girls are supposed to walk around half-naked. I think that you should change that.”
Ella didn’t picket the store. She didn’t organize a boycott. She didn’t do something her mom or dad prompted her to do. In fact, they had no clue what was going on until Ella showed her mom the finished letter.
Ella mailed the letter, and what happened next was something none of her family really expected: someone read it. And not only did someone read it, but they wrote back. Kris Allan, store manager of Nordstrom Bellevue, and Loretta Soffe, vice president and central merchandising manager for Nordstrom Brass Plum, wrote Ella individual letters thanking her and insuring her that her suggestions would be taken seriously.
But it went beyond that too, because word got out about Ella’s letter, and she received national attention—including interviews on CNN and NBC’s Today show. Not exactly what a shy 11-year-old girl intended. In fact, Ella doesn’t think that being in the limelight is really making a difference. But she’s willing to do what God wants her to do.
“We are glad to serve the Lord in whatever way He asks,” Mrs. Gunderson said on behalf of her family. “He chose Ella, and when the Holy Spirit prompted her to write the letter, she said yes,” she explained. “When He spurred the media to request interviews, she said yes. When He asked her to go way out of her comfort zone and appear on TV, she said yes.”[3]
Ella was given an opportunity. God showed her something in her world that was broken, and when she decided to speak out, she became a revolutionary—a shy, 11-year-old revolutionary.
She didn’t start grabbing clothes and tearing them apart. She didn’t shout out to every girl who walked out of the dressing room in a barely there outfit, “You look like a whore!”
No, Ella wrote a letter. That may seem passive to some people, but it was huge for Ella. And look what happened.
[ the revolution outside ]
What about you?
Where has God placed you? What has he shown you?
It’s time to step up.
There are too many people dying—physically, spiritually, and emotionally—not to.
We’re not going to take it anymore.
This is now a revolution of one + the world—for you and for them.