On Sunday morning Cora decided she had better show her face at church. Now that they’d booked the hall for Hazel’s reception she wanted to make sure she kept in the stewards’ good books. It also wouldn’t hurt to have some of the congregation on her side when the news about Alison got around. The daughter might be a disgrace but the mother was a fine church-going woman. That was the impression she wanted to give. So she put on her best coat, found her one good hat and set off.
If anyone asked her how her family was doing she’d just talk about Hazel and all her plans. There was no need to mention Alison. No point in inviting trouble, she thought grimly. It would be upon them soon enough. So the girl had taken refuge with Fred yesterday, and he’d been soft enough to let her. More fool him. He’d only be tainted by sheltering a fallen woman. If he wanted to help her, that was his lookout. She didn’t intend to make that mistake.
After the service Cora exchanged pleasantries with a handful of people she barely knew and then left, figuring that she’d done her duty. She’d said only enough to appear polite, and that would just have to do. At least she had a nice piece of beef to roast for Sunday lunch. It might be her last one for a long time if Alison wasn’t going to be bringing home the offcuts any longer. The selfish girl hadn’t thought about that either. It was one more reason not to let her come home again.
When Cora returned home from church, Hazel was still in her dressing gown, sitting at the kitchen table. ‘Fred was here,’ she said, spreading butter on her toast.
‘What did he want? If he’s come to ask me to forgive your sister and take her back, he’s got another thing coming.’
‘He didn’t say,’ Hazel replied. ‘Just that he wanted to speak to you. I told him you were at church and would be home later so he’s going to come over in half an hour. I’ll leave you to it. I want to paint my nails.’
‘Waste of time, you only chip them working at the café,’ Cora pointed out. ‘If you had a nice office job like Kathy you could keep your nails looking beautiful but when you’re in and out of that kitchen all day they don’t stand a chance.’
Hazel shrugged. ‘That’s why I want them looking right on my one day off. I’m seeing Neville this evening. At least I’ve got a gorgeous boyfriend unlike Kathy. Men hear what she does for a living and they get scared off. They don’t want a career girl. So who’s having the most fun?’ She grinned. ‘A typewriter won’t keep her warm at night, will it?’ Hazel liked Kathy well enough but she was getting fed up of the way her mother always compared them. Kathy had neat hair, nice clothes, good job prospects, and could do no wrong. Hazel knew she’d be bored stupid in an office and didn’t envy her future sister-in-law, she just wished her mother would shut up about her.
‘Go on then.’ Cora took off her coat and hat, hung them up and started to prepare the vegetables to go with the roast as her daughter ran upstairs. She sighed – Hazel wouldn’t want to help with the cooking if she’d just done her nails. So it was all down to her, as usual.
She’d almost finished peeling the carrots when Fred arrived. Wiping her hands, she showed him to the armchair in the front room and waited to hear what he had to say. She wouldn’t offer him tea until she learnt the purpose of his visit. She adjusted the lace curtain to make sure nobody could see them.
Fred wondered how to begin. He’d had it all prepared in his mind but then when Cora wasn’t in he’d been thrown. Now he couldn’t remember how he’d planned to broach the subject. He hadn’t seen Alison that morning so she had no clue what he was doing. If it all went wrong with Cora then she need never know. But he was struggling to find the right words.
Cora broke the silence. ‘Out with it, Fred. If you’ve come round here to ask me to let Alison come home, you’re wasting your time. I meant what I said. She ain’t bringing her disgrace to our door. That’s final.’ She folded her arms, determined not to weaken. It was all right for him – he wasn’t family. He could walk away and carry on as if nothing had happened. He wasn’t facing the ruin of everything he’d worked so hard for.
‘Well, Cora …’ Fred shook his head, hesitating. ‘That wasn’t quite what I was going to say.’ What was wrong with him? He did business deals all the time, negotiating prices and deliveries and with far tougher figures than Cora Butler. He forgot his prepared speech and came straight out with it.
‘What if I marry Alison?’
For once Cora was at a loss for words. This was the last thing she’d been expecting. Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened. Finally she said, ‘What?’
‘I want to marry Alison. That way we all win. She gets a roof over her head and the baby’s. Your family doesn’t have its name dragged through the mud. I get a wife and maybe a business partner too.’ Fred nodded. That last bit sounded good.
‘Has she put you up to this?’ Cora demanded. It was such an outlandish idea that she couldn’t believe Fred had come up with it voluntarily.
‘No, of course not. I haven’t asked her yet. I thought it proper to ask you first,’ Fred said, disappointed again at Cora’s reaction. She was always determined to think the worst of her daughter. The years of hardship had evidently changed her from the fun-loving young woman he’d once known.
‘You actually want to marry Alison? When she’s carrying another man’s child?’
‘Cora, I know it’s not the ideal start to a marriage,’ Fred said. ‘It’s not the way I’d have chosen. But that’s how things are. I can’t stand by and watch her life ruined. She deserves better than that. This way she gets a ring on her finger and she can carry on working for as long as she’s able, if she would like to. She’ll want for nothing, I’ll promise you that.’
Cora was slowly realising that he was serious. It began to dawn on her that this really would be a way out of an impossible situation. ‘You’d marry her, knowing about her like you do?’
‘She’d be doing me a favour,’ he insisted. ‘An honour. I know I’m not the husband she’d have dreamed of but I can give her a comfortable life.’ Even now he didn’t spell out to Cora how well his business was doing and how he’d be able to spoil Alison. He was too cautious to boast. ‘She’s a hard worker and we get along fine day by day in the shop. So I have every hope we could do so as husband and wife.’
Cora wondered if he could possibly find her youngest daughter attractive but didn’t want to risk him changing his mind by asking. ‘You’re sure? You aren’t pulling my leg?’
‘You know I wouldn’t do that,’ he said. ‘Not about an important thing like this. I’m serious, Cora. All I need is your agreement and then I’ll go back to ask Alison, to see if she’ll say yes.’
‘You have my permission, and she’ll say yes all right,’ said Cora instantly. ‘She’d better bloody well agree. It’s far more than she could expect. You are a good man, Fred Chapman. I only hope you don’t live to regret it.’ Her eyes shone. Fred had his own business and nobody to spend his money on – it was respectability far beyond anything Alison could have hoped for. Cora could have hugged herself in delight. As the smell of her Sunday roast wafted through to the front room, she imagined having succulent beef every time she felt like it. They’d all benefit from this, as long as Alison said yes.
‘I won’t regret it,’ Fred said with certainty. ‘I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Now I have your permission I’ll go back and ask Alison to be my wife.’
‘Then bring her back here,’ said Cora. ‘This changes everything. She can’t stay under your roof if she’s to be a respectable wife. She’ll have to come back home, but we’ll let everyone know that you’re engaged. Then even if her bump starts to show they’ll have less to gossip about. When are you thinking of getting married?’
‘I’ll have to discuss that with Alison,’ said Fred, feeling that the situation was rapidly slipping away from him. Cora had gone from angry suspicion to planning the wedding in less than five minutes. He felt it might not be quite so simple. There was still a lot to sort out but at least he’d got Cora’s blessing.
‘Keep your fingers crossed for me, then,’ he said, now anxious to leave. ‘I’ll be off.’
‘Bring her round as soon as you can,’ beamed Cora as she watched him go down the street, keeping an eye out for any movement of the net curtains at her neighbours’ windows. They’d have something to stare at soon enough, she thought happily. And not what she’d been afraid of yesterday either. This was going to give everyone the surprise of their lives.
‘Bring who round?’ asked Hazel, coming down the stairs, her nails gleaming a dramatic dark red. ‘You haven’t given in, have you? She’s not moving back in after all she’s done, is she?’
‘Wait till you hear the news,’ Cora told her excitedly. ‘We’re going to be made for life.’
Alison stared at Fred, thinking she’d misheard him. She thought he’d just asked her to marry him. That couldn’t be right.
‘Well?’ he said. ‘I know it’s a bit out of the blue but like I said, this way we all win. Think about it, Alison. I can see it’s come as a shock and I don’t blame you. You don’t have to answer right away.’
She’d been standing in his kitchen, wearing yesterday’s clothes and wishing she could sneak home for a fresh shirt and then come back here. She’d made herself at home while he’d been out and used the brand-new kettle and toaster, so different to the battered old things she was used to. Now it seemed she could wake up to this every day if she wanted to – but she’d be married to Fred.
‘I … I don’t know what to say.’ She couldn’t say yes. He was old enough to be her father. Worse, he’d been her dad’s friend. He was her boss. He was kind to her but she couldn’t imagine being married to him. She didn’t want to appear ungrateful; he’d saved her life and taken her in when her own family had thrown her out and turned their backs on her. But that didn’t mean she wanted to wake up next to him every morning. Yet what choice did she have?
‘Take your time,’ he said reassuringly. ‘It’s a big decision, I know.’
Alison stared at him, noticing his balding head, his portly stomach, his podgy face that made his eyes look too small. He was still wheezing slightly from having climbed the stairs. Would she really be able to marry this man? She knew she was no great looker herself but she couldn’t imagine him touching her, or worse, trying to touch him back. She shuddered but tried to hide it, not wanting to offend him. From his face she thought he’d seen it though.
‘I’m going to go for a walk,’ she told him. ‘This is all too sudden, I’ve got to think it through.’ She managed a small smile and then bolted through the kitchen door, down the newly painted corridor and down the stairs to Falcon Road.
Fred watched her go. Had he frightened her, asking her so directly, he wondered. Maybe it was all one big mistake. He could tell she found him repulsive and supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. He was over twice her age. Yet she didn’t have many options. He wouldn’t pressurise her into anything. He could only hope that she saw the merits in his plan. He would have to be patient.
As if by instinct he went to the little room he used as his office, sat down at the desk and pulled the account books towards him. They never let him down.
Alison hardly knew where she was going, her mind was whirling so fast. She couldn’t quite believe what had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Her mother had discovered she was pregnant and thrown her out. She had tried to kill herself. Fred had rescued her and taken her back to his home. Now he’d asked her to marry him. She kept thinking she’d wake up and none of it would be real.
Looking down at her oversized creased shirt, she knew that at least the bump was real. However hard she’d tried to imagine otherwise, it wasn’t going to go away. She’d heard that shock could make women miscarry but the bump must be immune, as the events of the last day had held more shocks than the rest of her lifetime put together. So she was stuck with it.
She realised she was at one of the gates into Battersea Park, which was buzzing with people out enjoying the Sunday afternoon sunshine. There was a bench free a little way along the path and she sat down, shielding her eyes from the glare. Everyone around her didn’t seem to have a care in the world. What would they think of her if they knew the truth? She’d just got used to the idea of being an outcast when suddenly she’d been offered a way out. But which would be worse – being reviled or ignored, or married to someone she didn’t love? At least she was used to being the butt of everyone’s jokes and being on the receiving end of abuse. She didn’t enjoy it but she didn’t expect any better.
A group of young women wandered past, in bright sundresses, some with their hair tied back in patterned scarves. Alison had never owned a frock like that; she was too tall for the ones on sale at the market, and she hated showing more of her body than she absolutely had to. A few of them had bobby socks rolled around their tanned ankles. Others had smart sandals, the sort that didn’t fit her own long feet. One of them was waving at her. Alison squinted harder and saw it was Vera. Surprised, she waved back.
‘Isn’t it a scorcher?’ Vera came across to the bench, fanning her face with her hand. ‘I don’t know what to do with myself. Budge up,’ she added, calling out to her friends that she’d catch up with them. ‘Ta. How are you? Haven’t seen you for a while.’
‘I was going to pop in to see you yesterday,’ Alison said. ‘But then it all went wrong. I know it had to happen but I was hoping to get away with it for a while longer. Anyway Mum’s found out about the baby and thrown me out.’
‘Oh no!’ Vera’s hands flew to her face. ‘What happened exactly? What did you do?’
Alison explained, leaving out the part about wanting to kill herself, and then laid out her dilemma. ‘What would you do, Vera? You’re braver than me. Would you risk having the baby out of wedlock and never seeing your family again? I can’t see you settling for marrying someone old enough to be your dad.’
‘Don’t you believe it,’ said Vera. ‘I know they all used to call you names and you never complained. You’re tougher than you think. But what’s he like, this boss of yours? I know my mum thinks he’s a good butcher but that’s not telling me much.’
‘He’s kind. He listens to me and takes me seriously. He’s got a nice flat. I think he’s quite good with money.’
‘Sounds perfect,’ said Vera, rolling her eyes.
‘But I don’t … you know. He’s not …’
‘You don’t fancy him, you mean?’ Vera asked. ‘That’s not everything, you know.’
Alison shot a surprised look at her friend.
‘Come on,’ said Vera. ‘You know by now that half of what they say about me isn’t true. Romance is fine in its place but you can’t rely on it. Won’t pay the bills or put a roof over your head. So if a kind man with a nice flat and a healthy bank balance asks you to marry him then don’t rule it out. What’s your alternative?’
‘Mother and baby home then hope Mum forgives me, I suppose.’ Alison hadn’t put it into words before. She’d tried very hard not to think of that option at all.
‘So you’d go back to live with your mum if she’d have you?’
‘Where else would I go?’
‘Well then, that’s your choice. Not ideal, I grant you, but that’s your choice.’
Alison sat back and tipped her head so the sun fell full on her face. She shut her eyes. As usual Vera had hit the nail on the head. Assuming she didn’t try to kill herself again, it was live with Fred, or with her mum and never be allowed to forget she was there on sufferance. At least Fred seemed to want her and didn’t call her useless all the time. She just didn’t think she could bring herself to touch him.
‘Penny for them,’ said Vera, adjusting her neckline. ‘Oh, will you look at that, I’ve gone all red. Now I’ll have these strap marks all summer. I should be sensible like you and wear a baggy shirt.’
‘Yes, but we both know why I’m doing that.’
‘True.’
‘I’m glad I saw you, Vera,’ said Alison after a moment. ‘You talk sense, even if I don’t like the choices I’ve got. But it’s not much of a decision really, is it?’
‘I couldn’t say,’ Vera replied. ‘It’s not my life. You’ve been really unlucky and got caught out when loads of girls have got away with it. Then they think they have the right to look down on you, when really they’re just glad it wasn’t them. Well, this could be your chance to get one over on them. I know you don’t fancy your boss, but if he’s as kind as you say then maybe he’s a good catch.’
One of Vera’s friends ran back and called out to her. ‘We’re going for an ice cream. You with us or what?’
‘Fancy coming along?’ Vera asked. ‘Do you good, a bit of distraction.’ She got to her feet and carefully rearranged the straps on her dress.
Alison shook her head. ‘Better not. I should get back. Let him know my decision.’
‘Come and tell me how it went as soon as you get the chance.’
‘I will.’ She quickly hugged her friend. ‘Wish me luck. I just hope I’m doing the right thing.’
Vera tutted. ‘You will. It’ll be all right. Better go, even though ice cream always ruins my lipstick.’ She made a face.
Alison smiled at her and set off back towards the park gates, her heart heavy. She’d better abandon any remaining dreams about meeting Mr Right, and put any thoughts of romance firmly to the back of her mind. This was about survival. She’d go back to the flat and tell Fred she’d marry him. She just hoped he would leave her alone physically. She never wanted to be touched that way again.