You now understand that the foundation of emotional wellness is contentment, serenity, and comfort. It is normal for moods to vary. It is normal to experience both negative and positive emotions as appropriate responses to life events, but your ups and downs should balance each other, and you should have the resilience to come back to your center. You should not get emotionally stuck. Nor should your moods undermine your physical health, interfere with your sleep or work, damage your relationships, or limit you from engaging fully with life. If you feel you have too little spontaneous happiness, know that you can make changes to let more of it in.
The suggestions and strategies I have given you for optimizing emotional well-being derive from an integrative model of mental health. They address all factors that affect your moods. Selecting the ones best suited to your individual needs and working with them diligently will be more effective than simply relying on medications that target brain chemistry. I have explained the rationale for these recommendations and the scientific data that support them. It is now up to you to implement them.
To help you with that, I have organized the prescriptive information in chapters 5, 6, and 7 into an eight-week program. In each week, I will give you one or more assignments. (In some cases, I will ask you to try out several options to find what works best for you.) Of course, some of the assignments—such as changing your diet, exploring cognitive behavioral therapy, and regularly expressing gratitude—require long-term commitment. But you can easily take the first steps in the course of a week, and I promise you that after two months, when you “graduate,” you will enjoy enhanced emotional well-being.
Feel free to proceed through the program at your own pace, taking as much time as you need with the assignments. If you want to spend two weeks instead of one with each section, by all means do so. And be patient with yourself: in my experience, it takes at least eight weeks to realize the effects of lifestyle changes on health, both physical and emotional.
In order to start a journey, you need to know where you are and where you want to go. Your assignments this week are to assess your present state of health, review your lifestyle, and set goals. I’m going to ask you a series of questions. Write the answers down. I’ll review them with you in order to identify your most pressing needs.
| • | Do you have any illnesses? |
| • | Do you have any symptoms that concern you? |
| • | Are you taking any prescribed or over-the-counter medications? |
| • | Are you regularly taking any dietary supplements or herbal remedies? |
| • | When did you last have a complete medical examination with blood work? Was anything abnormal? |
| • | Are there any illnesses that run in your family? |
| • | On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being “very unhealthy” and 10 being “very healthy,” rate your present state of health. |
| • | Have you ever been diagnosed with a mood disorder? |
| • | Have you ever consulted a mental health professional? |
| • | Have you ever suffered from depression or anxiety? |
| • | Do mental health issues run in your family? |
| • | Do you tend to be pessimistic or optimistic? |
| • | In general, on a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being “very sad” and 10 being “very happy,” where is your emotional set point? |
| • | What do you think would make you happier? |
| • | Do you recover quickly from emotional setbacks? |
| • | Do you experience serenity in your life? How much of the time are you content? Comfortable? |
| • | Do you think you eat a healthy diet? |
| • | Do you enjoy eating? |
| • | How much of what you eat is refined, processed, and manufactured food? |
| • | How much caffeine do you consume? In what forms? |
| • | Have you ever been a smoker? Or used other forms of tobacco? |
| • | Do you drink alcohol? If so, what kinds, how much, how often, and in what circumstances? |
| • | Do you use any recreational drugs? |
| • | Do you get regular physical activity? What kind? How much and how often? What keeps you from being more active? |
| • | How well do you sleep? |
| • | Rate your level of stress on a scale from 1 to 5, with 1 being “no stress at all” and 5 being “very stressed.” How does stress affect you? How do you manage it? |
| • | What is the main source of stress in your life? |
| • | What do you do to relax? |
| • | What do you do for fun? |
| • | Do you enjoy your work? |
Let’s go over your answers.
If you have health concerns or any symptoms that might indicate underlying disease, please get a medical checkup before you start this program. Especially, make sure that you do not have any hormonal imbalances or disorders of immunity that might be affecting your moods.
If you feel you are not in optimum health, I want you to know that many of the recommendations I will give you, such as the Anti-Inflammatory Diet (see Appendix A) and regular physical activity, are key elements of a lifestyle that favors overall wellness and longevity. You will feel better, physically as well as emotionally, if you follow them.
If you have a history of major depression or bipolar disorder, do not use this program as a substitute for medication or professional mental health care. It can be of great help to you along with conventional treatment, and I suggest that you discuss it with your mental health care provider. Ask him or her to monitor your progress.
Next, look over your answers to the questions about your lifestyle. Where are you strong? Where weak? Maybe you eat well but don’t exercise. Stress could be your main problem, or lack of sleep. Maybe you are lonely and isolated. Or you might enjoy good physical health and have good habits of eating and activity but be subject to negative thoughts that make you sad or anxious. Or you may never have thought about spirituality and its influence on your moods and outlook.
Write down the lifestyle areas in which you are weakest. As you move ahead through the program in the coming days and weeks, pay particular attention to the elements that address them, and promise yourself that by the end of Week 8 you will have made substantial improvements in all of them.
Now think about what you most need from this program. Do you want help with depression? If so, you should prioritize recommendations about diet, dietary supplements, physical activity, mental nutrition, and social interaction. Do you need to control anxiety? If so, pay special attention to my suggestions about caffeine, physical activity, sleep, the 4-7-8 breath, noise, and information overload. In Week 4, I’ll ask you to start experimenting with the natural remedies I recommend for depression and anxiety.
Do you want greater emotional resilience and balance? If so, use the program to create a more balanced lifestyle by eating well every day, spending time in nature, giving equal attention to work and play, improving sleep, and being physically active. Find a form of meditation that suits you and practice it. Do you want more contentment, comfort, and serenity? Meditation practice can bring those, as will all of the weekly recommendations under the heading “Caring for Your Spirit.”
Are you generally free from depression but nonetheless want to move your emotional set point toward greater positivity? If so, work with the exercises of positive psychology starting in Week 4 and give special attention to feeling and expressing gratitude.
Do you want more spontaneous happiness in your life? Open yourself to it by completing all the weekly assignments. By doing so, you will be fine-tuning your lifestyle to create optimum emotional well-being.
Finally, write down your primary goal for this journey. Also write down any secondary goals. Read this over as you start each week of the program. At the end of Week 8, I will ask you to assess your progress toward these goals and think about the work you need to do in following weeks to solidify the changes you have made and go farther.
This week, you’ll take your first big steps toward your goal by addressing any outstanding health issues, beginning to modify your diet, starting on the recommended supplements, attending to your physical activity, and familiarizing yourself with the breathing technique that will become a powerful tool over the next few weeks.
| • | If you have not had a complete medical checkup in the past five years, schedule one. Find out if you are due for any diagnostic or screening tests. Give blood samples for comprehensive tests; make sure they include determination of thyroid function and your level of 25-hydroxy-vitamin D. (If you’ve never had your vitamin D level measured, get that done even if you do not need a complete physical exam.) |
| • | Review the information on here to here about the mood-altering effects of prescription and OTC medications and herbal remedies. If you are taking any of these and are depressed or anxious or have any other mood problems, they might be contributing to them. In the case of prescribed drugs, ask your doctor about alternatives. Experiment with discontinuing the use of other products to see if your moods improve. |
| • | If you drink coffee or use other forms of caffeine every day, try going without it to see if you have a withdrawal reaction. If you do, stay off caffeine until you determine how much—if at all—it has been affecting your energy, sleep, and moods. You can then experiment with it to learn how much you can tolerate and what forms most agree with you—maybe you can drink an occasional tea rather than habitual coffee, for example. If you suffer from an anxiety disorder, avoid caffeine in any form. Just go cold turkey and put up with a few days of withdrawal symptoms if you have to. |
| • | Familiarize yourself with the details of the Anti-Inflammatory Diet in Appendix A. Remember: most important is to reduce your consumption of refined, processed, and manufactured food. Go through your refrigerator, freezer, and pantry to identify such products and resolve to phase them out of your life. You have plenty of time in the coming weeks to move your eating habits in the right direction. |
| • | Make a list of friends and acquaintances who have good eating habits. Resolve to spend more time with them. |
| • | Start taking fish oil: 2 to 4 grams a day of a product that provides both EPA and DHA (more of the former). Read labels carefully to make sure you’re getting 2 to 4 grams of total omega-3 fatty acids (EPA and DHA), not of oil. Pass up products that include omega-6 or omega-9 fatty acids; you don’t need to supplement with them. Buy only brands of fish oil that are “molecularly distilled” or otherwise guaranteed to be free of toxic contaminants. You may have to take three or four capsules twice a day to get the recommended dose. Take them on a full stomach. If you get fish-flavored burps, try keeping the product in the freezer and swallowing frozen capsules. |
| • | Also start taking 2,000 IU of vitamin D daily. You can use either D2 or D3. Note that if your 25-hydroxy-vitamin D level is very low, you might need much higher doses for a few weeks to bring it into the normal range; your physician can advise you on this. |
| • | If you take a daily multivitamin/multimineral supplement, make sure it provides 400 micrograms (mcg) of folic acid, at least 50 milligrams (mg) of vitamin B-6 (pyridoxine), and 50 mcg of vitamin B-12 (cyanocobolamin). If you do not take a daily multivitamin/multimineral supplement, start doing so. To ensure absorption and avoid indigestion, take it after an ample meal. |
| • | If you are not getting some physical activity every day, ask yourself what prevents you from doing so. Try to take a brisk walk every day this week, especially if you are not otherwise exercising. |
| • | Make a list of friends and acquaintances who have good habits of physical activity. Start spending more time with them. Call one up this week and go on a walk together. |
| • | Start practicing the 4-7-8 breath that I described on here to here. Do it at least twice a day, every day from now on, without fail! Try it in the morning and at night when you get into bed. You can practice it more often, but for the next four weeks, limit yourself to four breath cycles at a time. |
| • | Bring fresh flowers into your home and enjoy their beauty. |
This week I’d like you to think about your options for managing anxiety and depression. I also want you to focus on your sleep and dreams. And it’s time to take on the challenge of managing negative thoughts.
| • | If you are taking anti-anxiety medication, tell the physician who prescribed it that you want to get off it. Tell him or her that you are following recommendations to stabilize and improve your moods that include specific anti-anxiety measures. Ask for a written schedule for gradually decreasing the dosage and frequency of the medication; you will not start decreasing it until you are on Week 5 of this program (I’ll give you further instructions there). Also commit to checking in with the physician regularly as you wean yourself from the drug(s). |
| • | If you are taking antidepressant medication, think about whether you need it. If you have been on it for more than a year, ask the physician who prescribed it if it is time to try getting off it and using other methods to stabilize and improve your moods. Tell him or her about the program you are following, and if you both agree that it is okay to stop taking medication, ask for a schedule that you can follow for safely decreasing your dosage of the drug once you have completed all eight weeks. |
| • | Remember that the strongest evidence we have for nondrug treatments for depression is for dietary supplementation with omega-3 fatty acids and exercise. You’ve started taking the right dose of fish oil, and I hope your daily physical activity will be greater this week than last. You must maintain regular physical activity not only throughout this program but throughout life. |
| • | Make sure you’re getting enough restful sleep. Take a self-test on your sleep hygiene at http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=1329. |
| • | If you are not getting enough restful sleep, try to identify the reasons. Common ones are too much caffeine, bodily aches and pains, the wrong mattress, noise, stress, worry, and an inability to detach from thoughts that make you anxious. You’ll likely need help with the last of these, and in a moment I’ll tell you what to do. The others have relatively easy fixes. Make sure your bedroom is completely dark when you are ready to sleep, and get a white-noise generator if you need to mask disturbing sounds. For more ideas, use the search term “sleep” at www.DrWeil.com. |
| • | Try not to use prescription or OTC sleep medications except on rare occasions. |
| • | If you need a sleep aid, experiment with the herbal sedative valerian, 2 capsules or 500 milligrams of a standardized extract twenty minutes before you want to sleep. Or try 2.5 milligrams of melatonin in a sublingual tablet (which dissolves under the tongue). Both are safe for regular use. |
| • | If you cannot improve your sleep with these methods, consider consulting a sleep professional. You can find one through the National Sleep Foundation at www.sleepfoundation.org. |
| • | Experiment with recording your dreams. Keep a notebook by your bed and try to write down everything you remember of them just as you wake. (Or tell them to your bed partner or a recording device.) If negative dreams disturb your sleep or moods, this is another problem to take to a sleep professional. |
| • | Experiment with taking brief daytime naps, ten to twenty minutes in the afternoon, best done lying down in a darkened room. See how napping affects your sleep and emotions. |
| • | It’s time to take on the challenge of managing negative thoughts. If you engage in depressive rumination, first try moving your attention to your breath. Experiment with mantram repetition if that interests you. Read The Mantram Handbook, select a phrase you like, and give it a try. |
| • | Also try using a positive mental image as an alternative focus of attention. Read over the section on visualization in chapter 6 and use the resources on visualization in Appendix B if you need help. |
| • | If you cannot get yourself out of repetitive patterns of thought that make you depressed or anxious, consider working with a practitioner of cognitive behavioral therapy. CBT is a time- and cost-efficient method that works. |
| • | Mastery of the 4-7-8 breath is your best protection from anxiety. Keep at it! |
| • | Spend some time in nature this week, doing nothing but letting its sights, sounds, and scents fill you. If you can get to a patch of wilderness, great; but you can get as much benefit by walking in a park or garden, watching a sunset, or viewing the night sky. Try to do this most days of the week, especially if you feel blue or stressed. |
At the end of this week, you will be halfway through the program and will have built the foundation of an emotionally healthy lifestyle. You will continue to advance toward your goal by learning to take better care of your mind and spirit.
| • | Try to get at least thirty minutes of physical activity at least six days of this week, including a few bursts of activity strenuous enough to get you huffing and puffing. |
| • | Review the natural remedies described in chapter 5 on here to here, and pick one that you would like to experiment with. Start using it this week. |
| • | Read up on positive psychology, using the resources in Appendix B. |
| • | Review these two positive psychology exercises—each of which has been shown to boost happiness—and do the one that is most appealing to you: the Gratitude Visit, in which you write an essay of gratitude toward someone who has helped you, then visit that person and read it aloud; or the Three Good Things intervention, in which you write down three things that went well, and why, each day for a week. |
| • | How successful have you been with mantram repetition, attending to your breath, or using a mental image to interrupt negative thoughts that make you sad or anxious? If the answer is not very, find a CBT practitioner by going to www.nacbt.org and make an initial appointment. |
| • | Try taking breaks from the news—for instance by not listening to or watching any news programs on radio or television for two or three days of this week. Note any differences in how you feel. |
| • | Make a list of people in your life in whose company you feel more optimistic, more positive, more cheerful, less anxious. Resolve to spend more time with them. Make a date with one of them this week. |
| • | Listen to music that elevates your mood and spirit. |
Congratulations! You are halfway there. This is a good time to take stock of where you are and where you came from.
I hope you feel you’ve made progress toward your goal after being on the program for a month. Which assignments have been easiest for you? Which have been hardest? Can you see any changes in your emotional life? Are you ready to move forward?
| • | If you have been taking anti-anxiety medication and have a schedule to follow for gradually cutting the dose, you can begin to do so this week. If you become anxious as you do this, experiment with valerian or kava (see here). |
| • | Be sure to get out in some bright light as many days as you can. |
| • | Treat yourself to a massage this week. |
| • | It’s time to increase to eight breath cycles when you practice the 4-7-8 breath. That will be the most you will ever do in one session. The practice is now eight breath cycles twice a day without fail. You can do the exercise as often as you want. You should be comfortable with it now and can try slowing down your count. I would like you to begin using the 4-7-8 breath whenever you start to feel anxious or stressed. |
| • | How much noise are you exposed to? How does it affect you? What steps can you take to minimize it or protect yourself from it? Check the resources in Appendix B for products that can help. |
| • | How did you respond to taking breaks from the news? Keep experimenting to gain better control of how much of that information you want in your life. |
| • | Pay attention to the choices of media you make. What do you like to read, watch, and listen to for diversion and entertainment? Is the content consistent with the goal(s) you’ve set for yourself in this program? If not, start to make appropriate changes. |
| • | Keep a Gratitude Journal this week. (Maybe you did this as your positive psychology exercise last week; if so, keep it up this week, too.) Dedicate a notebook to this assignment and keep it by your bed. Make mental notes throughout the day of things you have to be grateful for, then enter them briefly in your journal at bedtime. Take a moment to feel grateful. |
| • | Do you have a companion animal? If so, spend more time with it this week and express your gratitude for its presence in your life. If not, give serious thought this week to bringing one into your life. |
Before you know it, you will have completed this program. You know that you will have to continue the practices I have introduced you to in order to realize their long-term benefits. By now, however, you should have a sense of the many ways that you can influence your emotions and which have most to offer you. Begin to think about how you can stick with them beyond Week 8. And get ready to tackle the problem of information overload.
| • | If you have ruled out or dealt with any medical problems that might be responsible for suboptimal emotional wellness; if you are phasing out refined, processed, and manufactured food and are following the Anti-Inflammatory Diet as best you can; if you are taking your fish oil and other dietary supplements; if you are getting good physical activity most days of the week; if you are getting enough restful sleep; if you have made any needed changes in your uses of mood-altering drugs; and if you are practicing the 4-7-8 breath as I have instructed, you are doing everything you should be doing on the physical level to attain optimum emotional well-being. |
| • | Keep at it! If you need help with improving your eating habits or exercising regularly, spend more time in the company of people who have the habits you want to develop. |
| • | Try giving and receiving more hugs this week. |
| • | How do you rate yourself on empathy and compassion? Consider taking an empathy training course. Also consider trying compassion meditation (resources for both are listed in Appendix B). |
| • | It’s time to start limiting information overload. Begin by keeping track this week of the amount of time you spend on the phone, on the Internet, on e-mail, texting, etc. (A Google search for “Internet timer” will direct you to software that tracks your time online automatically.) How many times a day do you check e-mail? Pay attention to how often you try to multitask. At the end of this week, look over the record you’ve kept and think about how easy or difficult it will be for you to limit these activities. |
| • | Visit an art museum this week and spend some time with one or more works of art you find beautiful and uplifting. |
| • | Look around your home for objects of beauty and take time to enjoy them. If your living space is deficient in beauty, look for a piece of art or a handicraft that you find pleasing and affordable and bring it into your home. Remember to notice it, enjoy it, and be grateful for its presence. |
You’re getting close to the finish line. And you have important work to do this week, including setting limits on Internet, e-mail, and mobile-phone use, and choosing a meditation technique to practice.
| • | If you enjoyed the massage and found it helped your mood, arrange to get one on a regular basis. If it did not meet your expectations, try another form of body work; for example, those who find deep-tissue massage too vigorous may prefer the Trager Approach, with its gentle, rocking motions, or watsu, done in a heated pool. |
| • | Read over the information on meditation on here to here. Look through the resources on meditation in Appendix B and choose one or more to use—a book, an audio program, a website, or a class or group you can join. |
| • | Try your hand at meditation, if only for a few minutes a day. Sit comfortably, relax, do a 4-7-8 breath, then try a method that appeals to you. It can be as simple as following your breath and bringing your attention back to your breath whenever you are aware that it has wandered. |
| • | Try limiting your Internet time this week. Cut the hours you spent on the Internet last week by 25 percent. Use the time you free up for outings in nature, exercise, or activities with friends who make you feel more positive. |
| • | Cut back on the number of times a day you check e-mail. For instance, you might resolve not to do so after a certain hour of the day. |
| • | Also try to cut back on texting and talking on a mobile phone. |
| • | Laugh! Who do you know who tends to laugh with you? Invite someone in that category to watch a funny movie with you. |
| • | Locate a laughter group in your area and give it a try this week. |
In the last week of this program, you are going to take a few more important steps toward your goal(s), especially in the realm of caring for your spirit.
| • | If you have been using one or more of the suggested natural remedies for the past four weeks, you should have some sense of how it is working for you. Can you note any benefits to your moods or well-being? If so, continue using it for another month, then decide whether you want to stay on it, stop it to see if the benefits persist, use it intermittently or only when you feel you need it, or switch to a different remedy. |
| • | If you have been weaning yourself from anti-anxiety medication, you should be well along in that process. If you are having difficulty, be patient. Use the 4-7-8 breath whenever you start to feel anxious. |
| • | If you have been taking prescribed antidepressants and have decided in consultation with your physician that it is a good idea to try getting off them, look over the schedule for decreasing dosage gradually and think about whether you feel confident enough in your progress over the past weeks toward greater emotional stability to start cutting back. You can take as much time with this as you need. You can also stay on the medication if you find that you need it. |
| • | It is now time to practice forgiveness. Are you holding on to anger or resentment toward people who have hurt or wronged you? If so, pick one person for this exercise. Every day this week, try to put yourself in that person’s place. Can you understand why they acted as they did? Also consider how the negative feelings you are holding on to stand in the way of your attaining your goal of optimum emotional well-being. |
| • | Before the end of the week, try to let go of those feelings by writing a letter of forgiveness to the person who caused them. You do not have to send the letter—now or ever—unless you are moved to do so. You are doing this for yourself. Put the letter aside. Read it over the next day, making any changes you feel are necessary. Note how you feel as a result of doing this. |
| • | If you realize the emotional value of forgiving, look for other opportunities to practice it. |
| • | Go for a helper’s high this week. Lend a hand, do favors. Try some volunteer or service work. (See resources in Appendix B.) |
| • | Expose yourself to silence when you can this week. How does it make you feel? Can you find ways to experience it more frequently? |
| • | How are you doing with social connection? If you need more, look for interest groups you can join, classes to take, activities you enjoy that you can do with others. |
| • | Are you spending more time with people who are emotionally healthy and positive? With people who make you laugh? |
| • | Are you feeling grateful and expressing it? You don’t need to keep up with a Gratitude Journal, at least not every day, unless you find it useful. But try to remember to feel grateful for the food on your table when you sit down to meals, for your health, for all that supports you and contributes to your well-being. And maybe thank a special friend for being in your life. Remember that training yourself to feel and express gratitude will move your set point for happiness in the right direction. |
| • | Go back to the questions I asked in Week 1 about your emotional health, lifestyle, and personal traits. Answer them again. Note how your answers have changed as the result of completing this program. |
During this week—and all the weeks to come—use the lessons you have learned about yourself over the course of the 8-week program to refine and enhance your lifestyle.
Keep in mind that we are most similar to one another when it comes to our physical needs. The “body” recommendations in the program are, I believe, suitable for nearly everyone. Following an anti-inflammatory diet made up of unprocessed foods, taking regular moderate exercise, practicing stress reduction, and using prudent supplementation make sense for all of us.
Yet even here, there is plenty of room for sensible experimentation. A friend of mine in his midsixties, struggling with low mood, understood that exercise was crucial to emotional well-being but had simply been unable to maintain interest in any particular workout regimen. By chance one day a relative asked him to hit a few balls on a tennis court, something he had never done in his life. Tennis became his path to a new self, contributing to his well-being in ways that jogging, aerobics, and weightlifting never had. In addition to satisfying his need for exercise, tennis gave him sunlight and fresh air, friendship, travel opportunities, and even a measure of recognition—he became a champion player in his senior circuit, gaining a sense of accomplishment he had missed since retiring from a competitive business. In short, it lifted his mood dramatically, and it all happened because he was willing, one afternoon, to try something new.
In the areas of mind and spirit, the glorious diversity of individual needs is much greater, and it is worth noting Ralph Waldo Emerson’s words: “All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” In exploring the range of mental and spiritual endeavors that can lead human beings to happiness and fulfillment, some of you will find it best to work within established psychological and spiritual disciplines that tell you what to do and not do. Others will prefer looser organizing principles that encourage you to make your own rules and be comfortable with uncertainty.
Whatever your personal style, I firmly believe that the program I have outlined here covers the basics—the necessary aspects of human physical, mental, and spiritual sustenance that, if attended to, can improve your mood and emotional well-being dramatically. Once you reach a new, better equilibrium, it will be up to you to find the particulars of how best to maintain, express, and improve it.
Take heart, stay on the path, experiment to discover what works best for you, and lend a hand to others you may encounter on the way. I wish you all success in the journey.