Introductory Memo
A Note to Our Suppliers in the US and the UK: Support Philosophy, It Uses Lots of Paper!
I have a business proposition for you. From a paper production and consumption standpoint, it makes oodles of business sense, as I’m sure you will see. I am part of an enterprise that requires ample use of paper: we write and revise, speak and argue, and then revise again. The only thing we actually need to complete our work is paper, something to write with, and a trash can (and some in my line of work don’t even bother with the trash can). We are thinkers, and because writing is a form of thinking, we are writers. And we use paper. Paper, gentlemen.
And so we need you. But you need us too! Philosophy is important. It refuses to let us rest our minds with comfortable conclusions or flaccid, empty ideas. It acts as a constant impetus to revisit our views, and to take seriously our own fallibility. But we matter to you guys more directly, too. You see, most of what gets said in the name of philosophy is incomplete, and a lot of it is just not right—it is incredibly interesting, and it is even important, but it just isn’t right. And so we keep writing and thinking, and we keep using more paper. More paper, gentleman. More paper.
We’ve been doing this for two and a half millennia, and I don’t envision it ending anytime soon. And that spells continuous investigation, and more paper than even you can imagine. Even when we think we’ve nailed something down—perhaps something about the nature of knowledge, or value, or self-deception—there will always be clarifications that need to be made, criticisms that need to be met, and additional questions to be considered. And besides, there will always be some schmoe who will claim that what we’ve said is wrong, or misses the point, or doesn’t go far enough, or is nonsense, or trivial, or something else.
So philosophy will always need paper. We can support your offices. I ask in return that you also support ours. In the following pages you will find some of the things we do, and I hope you will agree that, even if we aren’t coming up with final answers, we are nevertheless doing something of great importance—we are exercising our minds, exploring assumptions, and doing our best not to let dogma get in the way of what matters. And we’re using paper to do it. Paper, gentleman.
We will be there for you great paper companies. And perhaps you could even learn something about the workings of your own organizations from what we have to say here. Perhaps, Michael and David, you’ll even learn something about yourselves in the process. And paper will be there. Paper.
Spread the word about philosophy, boys! It’s the key to the future of paper, and maybe even to the future of civilization. And if you don’t buy that, at least think of all the philosophers who need employment! Are either of your guys hiring, by the way?