2005
W hen Mr. Lord asked me what I wanted for my thirteenth birthday, I revealed, “All I want is you. I want you to adopt me. Please.” I held my breath as I waited for him to respond.
“That’s complicated. I’d have to be married to Lena, and that’s not going to happen. Also, your biological father would have to give up his parental rights. He’s a poor excuse for a father, but I doubt if he’d willingly sign away his rights.”
“But he doesn’t care about me.”
“You’re right; he doesn’t care about you. But I do; I care about you deeply. That’s all that matters. We don’t need a piece of paper to think of each other as father and daughter, do we?”
I shrugged. “I guess not.”
He cradled my chin between his thumb and index finger, and looked into my eyes. “Don’t I treat you like you’re my daughter?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to know why?”
I nodded.
“From the moment I saw you, I knew that I had to possess you educate you in the ways of my world. I enjoy molding you into becoming the perfect little submissive,” he said in a loving tone that was accompanied by a gentle stroke on my cheek.
I didn’t understand what he was talking about, but his words sounded so lovely, I gave him a big smile.
“I couldn’t ask for a better-behaved child. You do exactly what you’re told, and I hope you never change.”
I won t change.” I was flushed with pride. Having his approval meant the world to me.
He released my chin and ran his fingers over my cheek. “I’m the only man who knows what’s best for you, Fonia.”
“I know,” I whispered, feeling mesmerized.
“That’s my good girl.” He stroked my cheek again and I closed my eyes, craving more of his affection. As if sensing my yearning, he kissed me softly on the cheek.
“Can I call you Dad?” I asked eagerly.
He thought for a moment and then shook his head. “No, not yet.”
“Why not?” The rejection stung, and my eyes gfistened with tears.
His eyes hardened a little. “You’re out of line, Fonia. Never question my decisions. I prefer that you continue calling me Mr. Lord, is that clear?” he said harshly.
“Yes, Mr. Lord!” I lowered my eyes to hide my hurt feelings. Mommy frequendy dropped her eyes when Mr. Lord was around. I never understood it, but now it seemed as if I had a better understanding. She felt embarrassed whenever she said or did something that he disapproved of. I was terribly confused about the nature of Mommy’s and Mr. Lord’s relationship. Did all bosses spank their secretaries? I wondered.
“I don’t want to be out of line, Mr. Lord, but I really want to ask you something.”
“Go ahead.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask why he spanked Mommy, but fearing repercussions for snooping, I blurted, “Is Mommy your girlfriend?”
“What gave you that idea?”
“Well, uh, because you stay the night sometimes, and you sleep with her.”
He released a sigh. “Lena is my employee, and we’ve developed a special bond. I suppose you could say we have an agreement. She’s eager to succeed in the business world, and so I come over a few evenings a week to give her additional training. But in response to your question, no, she’s not my girlfriend; we’re not romantically involved.”
I became quiet, trying to make sense of what I’d seen. Spanking an adult seemed an odd method of training, but in my eyes, Mr. Lord could do no wrong. He knew what was best for my mother and me, and I hoped she’d
quickly leam her duties and responsibilities to avoid getting spanked again.
“Don’t trouble yourself about your mother and me. Lena is my employee.. .nothing more. On the other hand, I adore you, Princess,” he assured.
I felt a rush of relief, and decided on that day that I would do everything I could to stay in his good graces. Maybe one day, he’d love me enough to really accept me as his daughter. In the meantime, I would strive to please him. I’d never be like Mommy; I’d never upset him to the point where he had to spank me. I’d always be his perfect, little submissive.
Oro^wm
2007
On my fifteenth birthday. Air. Lord made reservations at an elegant restaurant and Mommy and I were both dressed in designer wear and were dripping in jewels. Wearing the diamond-encrusted tiara he’d given me, I felt like royalty.
He opened the passenger’s door to his Bentley and when Mommy stepped forward, he said, “No, this is Fonia’s special day. I want my princess to sit up front, next to me.”
“Oh,” Mommy uttered and quietly got in the back.
Beaming with pride, I sat next to Mr. Lord.
During our appetizers. Mommy ordered a CosmopoHtan,
Mr. Lord had cognac, and I had a virgin margarita with sugar around the rim. “Xhis is so good,” I gushed. Wanna taste?” I asked Mommy, but she declined, wrinkling her nose.
“I’ll try it,” Mr. Lord said and reached for my glass. He took a small sip. “Mm, the perfect drink for the perfect little girl.”
“I’m not a little girl anymore, Mr. Lord,” I informed him. “I’m fifteen.”
He laughed. “You’re right. Princess, and we should toast to that.”
Instead of joining us in a toast. Mommy guzzled down her drink and immediately waved over the waiter. “I need something stronger. Bring me a glass of bourbon.”
Mr. Lord raised his glass. “To my little princess who has grown into a stunning young lady right before my eyes.” And then he leaned over and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
Overwhelmed by the joy of the occasion and so appreciative of how special he made me feel, I threw my arms around Mr. Lord’s neck. “Thank you for everything; I love you so much.”
“I love you too. Princess.”
Mommy made a scoffing sound, and when her bourbon arrived, she guzzled the drink down.
“Are you all right, Lena?” Mr. Lord inquired.
“No, I’m not all right, but it’s nothing that another drink won’t cure.”
By the time dinner was over, Mommy was slurring her words. When the valet brought the car around, she staggered over to it. “Oh, I forgot. Fm not good enough to sit up front. That spot belongs to my fifteen-year-old brat!” she complained in a loud voice as she climbed in the back seat of the car.
I was humiliated by her behavior. But Mr. Lord didn’t seem to mind. He behaved as if Mommy didn’t exist, and focused all of his attention on me. “Did you enjoy your birthday dinner?”
“Yes, it was wonderful.”
“Fm sorry we didn’t get to celebrate with cake and ice cream, but Lena wasn’t feeling well...” His voice trailed off.
“It’s fine; I had a great birthday. Besides, I think I’ve lost my taste for cake and ice cream,” I said, angling for a compHment. Air. Lord didn’t like me to indulge in sugary food, and so I was hoping to hear, ‘That’s my good girl.’
Instead, he said, “Nonsense! Cake and ice cream once a year won’t harm you. Overindulging in a high-fat and sugary diet and drmkmg too much alcohol is what makes people sick and unattractive.” He glanced in the rearview mirror and scowled at Mommy. I turned around to see what he was looking at. Mommy was sprawled out in the back, in an undignified manner.
“I’ll make sure you have your birthday cake next year.
I won t allow Lena to spoil your big day, ever again.” His voice was low and cold; and he spoke through clenched teeth as if fighting to keep from exploding with anger.
At home, Mr. Lord helped Mommy to her bedroom and then came to my room.
I caressed the tiara that was still on my head. “I don’t
want to take it off.”
Mr. Lord smiled at me and gendy lifted it from my head. “Put it back in the box, and keep it in your top drawer.”
“Yes, Mr. Lord.” Everything in our home was arranged by Mr. Lord’s standards. From the way the dishes were stacked in the kitchen cabinets to the way Mommy and I organized our closets. He often selected the clothing we both wore. Once when I asked Mommy why I couldn’t choose my own clothes, she told me that Mr. Lord had refined taste and he wanted to make sure that we looked pretty at all times.
When he’d first entered our lives, it hadn’t been easy for me to give up control. But over time, I gave in, mostly because Mommy said he knew what was best for us. Now it seemed perfectly normal for him to control every aspect of our fives. I wasn’t allowed to hang out with kids my age. Mr. Lord wanted to protect me from bad influences. I didn’t see much of my Nana or my Poppy anymore, either. They were my biological father s parents, and Mr. Lord didn’t want them poisoning my mind, and he also feared that their unsophisticated ways might rub off on me.
“Should I put on my blue nightie—the one with the ruffles?” I asked after I put the tiara in its proper place.
“That’s a good choice,” he said, looking around my
room, which was decorated with Hello Kitty paraphernalia everywhere. “I think it’s time to update your room with more mature decorating.”
I loved my Hello Kitty-themed bedroom, and my immediate impulse was to balk at the idea of changing it, but I caught myself. I’d been taught to never disagree with Mr. Lord. I can’t wait to see the changes you make in my room!” I faked a big grin, and hoped he’d never get around to redecorating my room.
I went inside my private bathroom, washed up, brushed my teeth and changed into my frilly gown. When I stepped inside my room, he gazed at me for a long time and then said, “You look like an angel.”
Mr. Lord tucked me in, and when he leaned in to kiss me goodmght, I detected a pleasant whiff of the fragrance he wore. “You smell so good, I wish could smell your scent all night.”
Giving me a look of kind understanding, he removed his tie and gave it to me. “Here you are. Princess. You can sleep with this.”
I eagerly reached for the silk fabric and brought it to my nose. His eyes gleamed as he watched me inhale. “Thank you, Mr. Lord.”
“You’re welcome. Happy Birthday, Fonia. Goodnight.”
Clutching his tie, I groped for his hand. “Can you stay in here with me a little while longer?”
“Only a little while.”
I closed my eyes, wishing for the warmth of his lips on my face again. I loved him so much. There was no one
in the world as important to me. Except Mommy, of course. Feeling suddenly alarmed, I opened my eyes. “Is Mommy in trouble, Mr. Lord?”
His face clouded. “I’m not pleased with Lena’s behavior tonight, and I’m going to have to address it when she’s sober.”
I gnawed nervously on my bottom lip. “Is she going to get a spanking?”
He gawked at me, shocked that I knew what he did to my mother behind closed doors. “How do you know what takes place between me and Lena in the privacy of her bedroom?”
My mouth fell open, and I became frightened that I’d displeased him by revealing that I’d been snooping. “I heard sounds one night—a few years ago,” I said in a trembling voice. “I was scared, and I went to check on Mommy.”
He took a deep breath and released it. “I’m a tough disciplinarian. I’m trying to train Lena, but when she disobeys, I have no choice but to reprimand her.”
“Are you ever going to spank me?” I asked with terror in my voice.
He closed his eyes and shook his head as if the idea caused him great pain. “I hope not. Princess. If you remain a perfect little submissive and always do exactly as you’re told. I’ll never have to discipline you.”
“I’ll always obey you,” I said sincerely.
“That’s my good girl.” There was love in his eyes as he smiled at me. He patted me on the head, turned off the light, and exited my room.
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