1 didn’t respond to Mr. Lord’s persistent calling until I was back at home with my face washed clean of makeup and wearing pajamas. In case he wanted a video call, I had to appear as if I’d been asleep. I answered in a drowsy voice. To my surprise, instead of being perturbed with me for taking so long to answer his call, Mr. Lord seemed concerned about my well-being.
“Fonia, are you okay?” he’d said anxiously.
“What’s wrong? What time is it?” I rasped, intentionally sounding disoriented.
“Sorry to wake you. Princess. There’s been a change in my wedding plans, and I wanted to discuss it with you.” “Oh?”
“But we can talk about it tomorrow. Get your beauty rest.”
“Okay. Goodnight.” I hung up, feeling confused and conflicted. Though I was attracted to Jaguar, I realized my loyalty toward Mr. Lord was as strong as ever. Hearing the warmth in his voice reminded me of why I’d grown to love him back when I was only eleven. Despite being
a demanding man and a stem disciplinarian, he had a loving and caring side. Whenever that aspect of his personality emerged, my heart would melt.
My conduct lately had been risky and absolutely scandalous. I chastised myself for lurking in a seedy bar late at night and deHberately attempting to initiate a relationship with another man. Mr. Lord had always been above board and honest with me. He would be so disappointed if he knew that I’d been sneaking behind his back and flirting with a strange bartender.
From the tone of his voice, I could tell Mr. Lord wanted to discuss something very serious with me. I convinced myself that he had decided to call off the wedding, and I couldn’t blame him. A marriage of convenience wasn’t worth mining what he and I had built over the course of ten years. After spending the past few weeks in Arizona with his fiancee, he probably came to realize that I was the only woman that tmly understood his needs and desires.
And he understood me. He knew me better than I knew myself. Not Jaguar or any other man would ever be able to fully please me. Only ALr. Lord could give me the stmcture and discipline that I required. I vowed to push thoughts of Jaguar out of my mind and focus totally on being the perfect submissive for Mr. Lord.
When he called the next morning, I was eager to hear the details of his cancelled wedding, but the news he imparted staggered me. I had to grasp the arm of a chair and take a seat.
“Sylvia doesn’t want an elaborate wedding; she wants to elope. She feels her mother is taking over the wedding planning and she’s extremely upset. Her parents only have themselves to blame for her fiery temperament and rebelliousness. She won’t be such a volatile young woman once I’ve turned her over my knee. A good, forceful spanking that turns her buttocks a flaming red will put a stop to her theatrics. But in the meantime, I have no choice but to go along with her demands. It’s in the best interest of my business.”
My heart dropped. The wedding was still on, and even worse, he planned to introduce his new bride to our lifestyle—to the special intimacies that I thought were reserved for me.
“When are you going to spank her?” I asked in a voice barely above a whisper.
“I’m not sure. I’d love to throttle her on our wedding night, but I’m afraid that she’d run off and ruin the business arrangement between her father and me. Unfortunately, I’m going to be stuck with a wayward wife for a while. Having you in my life is such a comfort. I miss you. Princess, and I’m looking forward to spending time together.”
So, the wedding was still on, and I was nothing more
than his concubine. I dropped my head and sighed. “May I be honest with you?”
“Of course.”
“After we spoke last night, I convinced myself that you had changed your mind about marrying her.”
“Why would you think that? You know the success of my business is dependent upon the relationship I’ve been establishing with Sylvia’s father.”
“Wishful thinking, I suppose,” I said solemnly.
“You sound sad and there’s no reason to be. You’re number one. You’ll always be. By the way, I do have some good news to share with you.”
“What is it?”
“Sylvia has decided that we should wed the day after tomorrow—merely to annoy her mother. Her parents have spoiled her rotten, and I find myself in the awkward position of having to indulge her childish whims. We’re still honeymooning in Bermuda, and I took the liberty of changing your flight. Sorry that I won’t be able to select a new wardrobe for you; you’ll have to rely on your own taste. You’ll make me proud, won’t you?”
“Yes, I’ll make you proud.” I whispered, feeling sick to my stomach.
“A car will take you to the hotel from the airport. Once you’ve settled in, you can order room service, but do not leave your room under any circumstances. I’ll come to you when I can. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I’ll see you in Bermuda, Princess.”
After our phone conversation, I cried for hours. I’d never understood what exactly had been going on between Mr. Lord and my mother, but now that I’d grown up, I realized that Mr. Lord’s spankings aroused sexual desires in women. The idea that he’d even want to spank his bride was troubling. If their marriage were only one of convenience, why would he want to give her the kind of pleasure that he gave me?
For so long. I’d followed his every command, but expecting me to share him with his wife was asking too much of me. It was time for me to start thinking for myself. It was time to sever the relationship between Mr. Lord and me.
I’d have to figure out a way to support myself, but in the meantime, I had money put away. Enough to break away fi-om him and make a new start.
I left Mr. Lord a note, telling him goodbye and requesting that he not look for me.
Taking only my personal possessions, I moved into a one-bedroom apartment in a complex near Seventy-ninth and Lindbergh Boulevard. Living without Mr. Lord’s approval and guidance was scary and thrilling at the same time. Determined to start fresh, I changed my cell phone number. Doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted
without having to give a report of my daily activities was liberating. For the first time in almost ten years, I was free.
Knowing how determined Mr. Lord could be, it wouldn’t surprise me if upon his return from Bermuda, he hired a private investigator to locate me. It didn’t matter. No one could force me to return to him.
Living on my own was an eye-opening experience. It was clear to me that Mr. Lord had begun brainwashing me at a very early age, persuading me to believe that our unnatural union was perfectly normal. From the time my sexual passion had begun to assert itself, he had manipulated me into confusing physical pain and emotional humiliation with sexual gratification.
My ties with my mother had been completely destroyed. I had no idea if she’d gotten sober or if she was still a hopeless drunk. Hopefully, I’d be able to forgive her one day for allowing Mr. Lord to control and manipulate me.
I pushed thoughts of my mother out of my head. I’d been emotionally imprisoned for so long, all I wanted to do was bask in the freedom I’d been deprived of for ten long years.
In time, I would be ready for a genuine sexual experience with someone who loved me as much as I loved him.