Noting how Niamh responded when I surprised her pissed me the hell off. Most of my waking nights without her focused on how to make this work between us. Eight months and I’d only woken up with her on a handful of occasions. Three times when her son was on sleepovers and two when I stayed to help when Teague was sick.
Sometimes I wondered if the drama was worth it. Then I’d look at her and know it was, but it drove me crazy when she continually put Flynn and Teague’s needs before mine. I wasn’t a selfish man. I had a lot of patience, but she had no idea how our hidden relationship complicated my life when I was on the road with the band.
It was different for her. While she stayed home and followed routines, I was faced with the constant pressure of the crew on the road. Night after night I lied, struggling to find excuses when they’d try to include me in their groupie parties. I was a single guy to them and tired of feeling awkward when they questioned why I wasn’t interested.
My constant source of frustration was keeping Niamh’s confidence. Several times Lexi, the hot and horny female member of Flynn’s band had hit on me. Had I been single, I’d have tapped that in a heartbeat, but I stayed true to Niamh and took the hits on the chin from Lexi when she told the others she thought I was gay.
Even when we were home, it was getting more difficult to keep from being found out. On a couple of occasions Flynn had made a flippant comment when she and I had ganged up on him during some banter.
During one of these incidents he had made a few remarks, one of them being Niamh and I belonged together. Niamh’s jaw had dropped when she overreacted and threw some cutting insults in my direction. I knew she was only doing it to throw him off the scent but her comments stuck. Even if she never meant it, her jibes stung and rather than throw some back I made an excuse and had to walk away.
We should have been excited to see each other, and I was until she shook me off in case someone came into the kitchen. It pissed me off that she’d stared at me with those huge pleading eyes of hers from across the counter and it made my jaw tighten with determination. We’d talked on the phone about telling them a few hours before and she knew as far as I was concerned enough was enough. I was all but done sneaking around to keep her.
Despite my best efforts to make Niamh’s problems my problems, she was terrified our boss would kick her out whereas I begged to differ. It wouldn’t have mattered to me anyway. I would have been delighted to take care of us. She should be happy. I should feel happy. But I don’t. Not anymore.
Ultimatums weren’t normally my thing but I was tired of her shit about her job. It had been the sole topic of conversation for a while so I decided she’d run out of time. Either she came clean this trip or I’d have to walk away. I loved her but after all this time I was convinced she’d never change. She knew how I felt and once I’d said my piece the rest was up to her.
Teague’s excited voice broke through my temper. I gave Niamh a hard look because it crushed me every time Teague saw the two of us and made a beeline for Flynn. Teague looked to Flynn like he was his hero, and I supposed he was, but we’d both been in his life since infancy.
I didn’t want to face them until I’d had the chance to cool off so I left the kitchen by the side passageway. The last thing I wanted to see was the picture of domestic bliss Flynn made with Teague while my hackles were up. Retracing my steps, I entered again through the front door where I immediately set the alarm on the front section of the house.
As soon as Teague heard the familiar beeps he came running from the kitchen with his arms wide. All the pain in my heart suddenly disappeared when he jumped into my arms and hugged me.
“Hey there, buddy, how’re you doing?”
Teague leaned back and looked at my face. “I’m good,” he said like a grown up, and I smiled affectionately at him. I set him down on the floor and he immediately grabbed my hand. “Come on, my mom’s in the kitchen with Flynn,” he said tugging me toward the door.
Despite my feelings about my circumstances I couldn’t avoid my boss forever. Flynn was an amazing guy. It wasn’t his fault Niamh was so fucked up and from how I read him I figured he’d be happy for her. When I entered the kitchen he and Niamh were getting into it about something, their voices raised as she protested.
“You deserve a night out. Val and I won’t take no for an answer. Besides Kayden’s upstairs and he’s dying to meet you.”
Niamh’s eyes darted over to mine and she looked perplexed. Flynn glanced in my direction and pulled me into the conversation. “Tell her, Lee, she’s got to party with us tonight, right?” Flynn prompted, his finger wagging toward her.
“Tell her what? You’re inviting her out with us?”
Flynn nodded. Grinning widely, I could hardly contain how pleased I felt. I couldn’t have asked for more, “If the boss says you’re partying, you’re partying, Niamh. Best you go put your gladrags on.”
Apart from being found out to be dating me, Niamh wasn’t afraid of much. She knew Flynn well enough to stand her ground and speak her mind, yet she knew she wouldn’t win about this. Flynn hugged her when he saw she’d caved and it made no sense to me that she didn’t just tell him we were together. Unless she didn’t really want me.
She should have been delighted to have the time with me, but she still looked awkward. There wasn’t even a smidge of pleasure about the situation showing on her face, and once again the doubts crept in. Every time I brought it up she had always been able to tamp down my anger and reasoned it was mainly because of Teague.
From my observations, Flynn cared a lot about her and because he did, even if he wasn’t keen, I knew he’d accept us being together. He was a fucking rock star. I couldn’t imagine him caring that much. I could almost hear the thoughts running through her head about being in a social situation with me where alcohol was in abundance.
Flynn seldom had any social events in his home town of Chicago. He used it as downtime though he usually hung out with Craig, his closest friend and bandmate; and Craig’s wife, Simone. On those occasions Flynn insisted on ordering caterers in so Teague’s evening routine wasn’t messed with. He was so considerate of Teague and I guessed that came off the back of his own unstable background. He never made demands of Niamh and I guessed that had made it harder for her to turn his request down.
Eventually, a red-faced Niamh conceded defeat and called the mom of one of Teague’s friends to arrange a sleepover for him. When the little guy was told he was excited to go, so Niamh had no choice but to accept Flynn’s invitation.
Being last in the minibus, I slid into the only seat left and luckily it was at the very back next to my girl. Her body tensed as a look of panic passed through her eyes when I squeezed in beside her.
I had to remind myself she wasn’t used to being out at a party full of celebrities and she may be anxious about that. But it was Flynn, and for that reason I felt sorry that she didn’t feel comfortable going out with the people who were the closest to her.
Niamh had an unmatched respect for authority and although Flynn and Valerie never treated her like staff she continued to stay firmly on her side of the fence and I wished she’d value herself a little more.
I slid my hand under hers between the seat as we sat in the dark and ran my thumb over her knuckles in my attempt to help her relax. “You look stunning,” I whispered. Yet again, instead of the usual smile I’d receive from any other woman, Niamh’s body steeled and her eyes flitted from person to person to see if anyone had heard me.
She attempted to pull her hand away but I tightened my grip as I pressed my lips into a firm line, pissed that she couldn’t even allow herself to accept a simple, innocent compliment from me. By then I didn’t care how she felt because I had grown sick and tired of looking at how she behaved toward me when anyone was around.
I was bored hiding and I’d done my best to give her space and time to come to terms with how we should go forward. I decided there and then in the back of the bus, one way or another our relationship had come to a head. For the rest of the journey I kept her hand firmly in mine but didn’t pay attention to her until the car stopped in front of the nightclub.
As usual, I left the vehicle first to clear the way for Flynn and the others. Once everyone was out on the sidewalk Valerie began to talk to Niamh. Although there had been cursory introductions at home Valerie took it upon herself to say more about her brother, Kayden and his girlfriend, Amber to find common ground. Within a minute they had all struck up a conversation as I led them inside with Rita guarding the rear.
On entering the VIP area, we could see it was quiet and I was able to relax a little and join the party. I enjoyed the club we’d gone to as the way it was designed allowed celebrities to mingle but had sectioned-off areas as well. Apart from one rock star from another band who Flynn knew, we had no interruptions to our group.
By the time we caught up with Flynn and the others, Niamh and Kayden were sitting side-by-side, laughing and joking like old friends. My feelings were mixed when I saw them together because although I was happy Niamh was enjoying herself, my stomach tightened with jealousy at how easily she let her guard down with him. Even if Kayden was taken I didn’t like how relaxed she was in his company. I felt incensed by how easily she accepted Kayden when I was the man she was supposed to care about. Boldly, I strode over, sat down, and threw my arm over her shoulder.
Wild boars charging toward me wouldn’t have stopped me from claiming her as mine in that situation and I didn’t care whether Kayden had a fiancée or not. There was no way I was going to stay cowering in the background while she spoke with another man.
Until I forced her hand it had felt as if Niamh had all but forgotten me. During the night I’d watched her dance, first with Craig, then Flynn, and then Kayden, and as time wore on I became more frustrated than ever with her denial.
“Do you mind? I think I’ve earned a dance with the only single lady here after all my hard work this evening,” I said, interjecting on Kayden’s explanation about something.
“Hey, what about Rita?” Flynn asked, waving his drink in her direction.
“She doesn’t count. Rita’s one of the boys…besides I’ve already given her my best moves,” I replied. Rita was a good sport and shook her head.
Kayden sat back in his seat and slung his arm around Amber before he replied. “Sure, hold her tight, she’s light on her feet,” he winked. I wasn’t asking him specifically, it had been a generic question I threw out there just to let everyone know my intention toward Niamh, but he answered anyway.
Kayden’s comment made me realize he had an idea I had a ‘thing’ for Niamh. Maybe I hadn’t been as careful about being with her as I thought I’d been. A few times back in Iowa he’d asked me what she was like so I wondered if I’d given my feelings away. From everything he’d been through I knew he was a pretty intuitive guy.
Niamh had difficulty returning my gaze and from the look on her face I knew she was about to excuse herself, and I was fucked if I was going to let that happen. As soon as she made eye contact I tugged her quickly to her feet, wrapped my arm around her waist, and pulled her to my chest. “Thanks for the advice, Kayd. The last thing I’d want is this little treasure slipping out of my hands. Flynn would never forgive me.”
There was no way she’d have made a scene so Niamh had no choice but to follow my lead. The stoic expression on her face was priceless. Marching obediently toward the dance floor alongside me, she tried to behave like she didn’t mind. “What are you doing? Have you lost your fucking mind?” she hissed while trying to smile through gritted teeth.
Had it been anyone else I’d have laughed out loud, but my heart squeezed in sympathy even though I knew her worry was misplaced and I’d been the soul of discretion until then.
Dancing with her in the low light of the club brought us inches away from each other for the first time in public. And when I slid my hand around her waist I rested it on the small of her bare back and clasped her other hand in mine. Holding them close to my heart, I gazed into the most beautiful light-blue eyes I’d ever seen. She wore a dress I’d seen on Valerie before and I knew she must have borrowed it. They were roughly the same size, and personally, I thought Niamh looked stunning in it.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“What do you think I’m doing? I’ve danced with everyone else, as have you. Hell, I’ve even danced with Rita. Why wouldn’t you dance with me?”
“You know why,” she hissed.
“And how do you think it would look if we avoided each other?” Niamh thought on that while we moved around the dancefloor for a few seconds then I felt her sigh as her body relaxed in my arms. As soon as her resistance was gone, I pulled her closer, inhaling her hair, and whispered in her ear, “You look so fucking sexy I can’t wait to get you home. We have a whole night alone ahead of us.”
Without thinking, I dipped my head and placed a soft kiss on her bare shoulder and felt her shiver.
“Don’t,” she muttered weakly but I saw her resolve crumbling right then and there. Now she’s in my arms I’m not letting her go.
“I love you, Niamh. Please get past this. I want us to be together. You, me, and Teague. Together. I’m done with this hiding. I’d marry you tomorrow, but your son needs to know what you mean to me first.”
Niamh’s eyes widened in fright. Her intelligent eyes scanned my face and I wished I knew what was on her mind, but before I could say anything else Flynn wandered over to us. Niamh immediately tried to distance herself which I resisted until I saw how concerned she was. She bit her lip at the uncertainty of our boss’s reaction to seeing us together. My first reaction was to stand firm but because of how worried she looked I relented and dropped her hand.
“We’re gonna get out of here,” he said as he glanced at Valerie. He smirked at my reaction because my eyes widened in disbelief when I saw how drunk she was. I looked at Niamh and held her gaze for a second, fed up that our time together was being cut short, before I looked back at Flynn and nodded.
“Sure, Boss. Let me call the driver,” I replied and I saw Flynn cast his eyes in Niamh’s direction. Turning to look at her I could see she was disappointed I had to leave as well. Flynn turned his attention from her to me he stood for a moment and the way he twisted his mouth in thought, I knew he understood there was something going on between Niamh and me.
“No, stay here with the others. We’ll be fine. Just get us a car and we’ll take Rita back to the house. You can come home with the others when you’ve all had enough.”
Instantly, my eyes flitted to Niamh and I saw a rosy tint to her cheeks. Flynn had just given us the green light and I wanted to hug him with delight. Instead, I tried to look nonchalant for Niamh’s sake and answered in a casual tone, “You sure you’re okay with that, Boss?” My voice sounded disinterested but I’d never asked a more loaded question in my life.
“Yep, have fun. See you tomorrow morning,” he answered, as he glanced back at Niamh and smirked at how casual she was trying to look. She’d failed miserably as her face had gone from rosy to red.
Only a few minutes later, Flynn and Valerie left us to head down to the waiting car outside. Rita was with them and although I felt guilty for not going with him, I felt a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. Niamh looked up at me, her eyes full of questions about what happened next. Sliding my hands against both sides of her head I pulled her in for a kiss.
Whenever I kissed Niamh, I always felt she held a little in reserve, unwilling to give me her whole heart for fear I’d hand it back in pieces. That night and that kiss was the turning point in our whole relationship. Instead of fear and apprehension, I felt lust and longing. Her desire for a future between us suddenly became unleashed and the way her mouth devoured mine was immeasurable.
Niamh knew there was nothing to hold us back. It no longer mattered who saw us or what happened between us as long as we didn’t allow anything to affect our working relationship with Flynn or his family. I was already aware that no matter what we were to each other in the future, I figured we were both grounded enough to ensure what went on between us didn’t spill over into our work.