Initially, I thought Lee was lying when he said Flynn and Valerie knew and didn’t care, but when he left Lee with me I had to accept he had guessed there was something going on. Then I felt bad about all the time I’d wasted thinking I’d lose my job. After Flynn had gone, I left the dance floor and headed to the bathroom. I was just about inside the stall when Lee pushed his way in and closed the door behind us.
Heat burned in his eyes and I squeezed my thighs tightly together just from the way he looked at me. He didn’t speak, just gathered my hair in his hand and tugged my head back, extending my neck.
“You smell so fucking good, and this dress? Fuck.” he whispered then spun me away from him. A hand slid between my legs and fingertips traced the garter belt straps I wore. “Jesus, are you trying to kill me?” he asked then growled in my ear.
My heart had raced when Flynn had walked toward us. It was in my mouth with the burning desire evident in Lee’s eyes. I could see there was no stopping him. Months of frustration and denial had brought Lee to the brink. His fingers slid further and dipped between the elastic of my tiny lace underwear. “No going back now, Niamh. No more excuses. I want this…I want us.”
Waking with a start, I glanced at the clock and it was almost 1:00 pm. I slipped out of bed and headed over to the house with what felt like a mouth full of cotton. I’m never drinking again. Lee lay flat out in my bed like he owned it and although I was apprehensive to face Flynn, I was philosophical that what was done was done.
Everyone had slept late and I was thankful for the lack of scrutiny as I shuffled about, getting caught up with my daily routines of prepping for dinner. The smell of food made me nauseous. Even Lee slept in and didn’t surface from my house. That was the one thing I remained concerned about. How would Teague feel about Lee and me?
At 3:00 pm I left to pick him up from school. He’d been taken there by his friend’s mom earlier in the day. It wasn’t until I got to the school parking lot I remembered Lee could still be in my bed. For fifteen minutes, I rang his phone constantly as I tried to get a reply and when there was no answer I prayed he would have already left our place.
Our normal routine was to arrive at our home where my son would change and do his homework. Following that, we’d walk back to the house and I would prep dinner while Teague either helped or watched TV.
When Flynn entered the kitchen I immediately froze. It was stupid but I felt desperate that my current situation remained the same. Flynn glanced over at Teague and saw he was deep in concentration with his work so he leaned in and whispered.
“So, you and Lee, huh? I guess I’m not that surprised.”
Flynn’s face gave nothing away and I wasn’t sure he fully accepted the news. Fleetingly I wondered if Lee had read him wrongly. “He’s a nice guy…I like him,” I replied and shrugged my shoulders. My eyes searched his face for a reaction but there was none. Either that or his game face was in place. “Flynn, we tried not to—,” I said quickly and my eyes flicked to Teague as I silently pleaded with Flynn not to say too much.
“I understand, but you’re a good-looking girl and Lee’s…well, he’s not exactly ugly.” He smirked playfully but I wasn’t used to his compliments about how I looked and I felt heat rush to my face.
Teague looked up and smiled at Flynn but remained in his seat. Flynn must have sensed my unease because he quickly changed the subject and spoke about Valerie. I was glad to avoid any more awkward questions from him.
My cell buzzed in my pocket and I slipped it out to check. Lee’s text made me smile.
“Made the bed. Burned the evidence of our night of debauchery, and aired the smell of our lust from the room. It’s safe to bring your boy home. I’ll be hanging out the back…until later. Lx
I turned and eyed Teague. Lee had done everything I had asked. Flynn knew a relationship between us existed and the sky didn’t fall in and I wondered if maybe there was a future for Teague and me with Lee after all.
“Flynn, this is for you,” Teague said, interrupting us and dropping the red crayon he was holding. He rushed toward me with a picture he’d been coloring from his book. It was of a red guitar like his, and he’d even written fender across the top of the head.
“Wow, Teague, that’s awesome.”
“It’s just like yours, right?” he said, with his little eyes eagerly searching Flynn’s face for approval.
“Sure is, buddy. Thank you, it’s awesome.”
A winning smile lit up his face, “I knew it would be like yours when I colored it. Are you going to keep it?”
“Are you kidding me? Teague, not only am I going to keep it, I’m going to get it framed and put it on the wall in my office.”
Teague danced an on-the-spot dance, a beaming smile on his face, as he rushed forward again, hugging his waist. “I love you, Flynn,” he said as he looked up at my boss with admiration.
“And I love you too, buddy.” My chest tightened because I felt he’d grown so close to Flynn, it worried me how affected he’d be if Flynn ever became too busy with kids of his own to give him his time.
“Get your things, Teague, we need to leave in a few minutes,” I prompted him. “Swimming lesson,” I said for Flynn’s benefit.
Teague hugged Flynn tightly again and quickly went to the glass slider at the other side of the kitchen counter. He let himself out, and I stood watching him running toward our small house at the bottom of the field to grab his swim gear.
“You’re so good with him,” I blurted out.
“Why wouldn’t I be? He’s a great kid. I only wish I had more time for him,” Flynn sounded surprised by my comment.
“You do more than enough, more than I could ever have expected—“
“He gives me pleasure, honey. I love that little guy. Valerie does too. She thinks the world of him.” I heard the sincerity in his voice.
“I just feel so lucky—” I said and turned away from him because I felt like I was about to cry. I couldn’t afford to lose his support if things didn’t work out between me and Lee.
“Hey, come here,” Flynn said as he pulled me tightly to his chest when he saw me becoming emotional.
“You know what I think? I think we’re all lucky. You needed someone to trust, and I needed someone to care about me. Relationships are a two-way thing, hon. At the end of the day we all like to think we’re independent, but we need people to rely on just the same. Can’t have too many friends and family.”
Nothing truer had ever been said and it gave me food for thought about Lee. Something had shifted inside me last night. I wanted to kiss Flynn for his tolerance and humility. He could have been awkward about Lee and me, but it was clear he didn’t mind. In fact he actually appeared happy I had someone else.
“Who are we relying on?” Valerie croaked from the kitchen doorway. She looked hellishly dehydrated and struggling with the daylight.
“Not you today,” Flynn chuckled as he stepped back from me and turned to greet her with a playful tone to his voice. She cringed like his voice was too loud. “Morning, my beautiful lush? How’s the head?” he asked as I waved Teague over from the kitchen table and shrugged him into his coat. Flynn walked over and pulled her into a hug as I wrapped my scarf around my neck.
Flynn continued to tease Valerie, filling her in on all the crude things she’d said when she was drunk. Valerie was mortified and I tried to keep a straight face while Flynn continued to goad his woman, but when he looked at me we both bust up laughing. I left him to it at that point because Teague and I were running late.
Once Teague was settled in bed I slipped downstairs to find Lee sitting in my old antique pine rocking chair on the back porch. When he heard me arrive he turned his head and shoved himself to stand. Moving closer he held me by my upper arms. “Well?” I knew he was curious to know if Flynn had commented to me about us.
“Flynn didn’t say much because Teague was in the room but he did comment and I didn’t deny it. I told him I liked you. He didn’t express himself one way or another. But that may be because he was hungover.”
“I spoke with him just after you left earlier. He called me about a gig he’s doing and the subject came up. He’s more interested in me not fucking you over than us being together. I’ve never been in a steady relationship since I’ve worked for him, so he knows I’m serious about you. To be honest I think he’s more concerned about what it means for Teague than he is about you.”
Stepping forward I closed the space between us and stroked my hands up his chest. “I don’t need to tell you that worries me as well.”
“I understand why you feel the way you do, Niamh, but have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? I’m so in love with you. Had you been any other woman I wouldn’t have put up with half the shit you’ve put me through. And that should count for something because I’m still here.”
I softened my gaze and dropped my head to rest on his chest. “I know I’m hard to handle with my insecurities, Lee, but trust me when I say I love you so much.”
“Then marry me. Let’s just do this. Come on, say yes and let me worry about you and Teague. I already do anyway so we may as well make it official.”
“You know that’s not possible. Teague doesn’t even have any idea about us.”
“Then tell him. We’ll tell him together if that’s what you want.”
“I will. I just need to find the right time.”
“And you think that’s going to happen any time soon or am I going to have another frustrating wait while you figure out another sixteen reasons why it can’t be this week or the next? Trust me, I get it. You’re scared, but at some point, you need to get back in the ring and if you don’t think you can do that with me I’d rather know now than continue flying under the radar because you value someone else’s feelings over mine. Teague is a kid. Kids are adaptable. They take their lead from adults. You look confident, he’ll be confident.”
Tears pulled in my eyes when I leaned back to look up into his eyes and I felt the anger leave his body. Lee’s eyes instantly softened. “I hate being this way but I felt if I hadn’t pressed the point you’d never have moved this forward with us.”
Sliding his hands into my hair, he cradled my head and looked back at me. “It’s high time you left Lance where he belongs—in the past. It’s you and me now, babe. Not him and you.”
Silently I sighed and nodded then continued to search his face. Lee closed the space between us and brushed his lips to mine. My hands slid around his warm waist in an automatic gesture and I clung to his T-shirt. One of his hands migrated from my hair and caressed the soft skin on my neck while the other slipped down my back and pulled me closer.
“Give me your trust and I’ll try never to let you or Teague down, baby.”
Reaching up on tiptoe, I pressed my lips to his and began to mesh them slowly until they parted. I slid my tongue inside his mouth and his hand slid back into my hair as he pushed my head closer deepening the kiss. Instantly, all our fears and worries ebbed away as we began to get lost in one another.
“Why are you two kissing?”
The sound of Teague’s voice alarmed me. My heart rate raced in shock as I tore myself instantly from Lee’s strong arms and jumped a foot in the air. Lee held me tight when he saw the opportunity to make sure I didn’t deny what was going on between us. There was no way I could pretend we were doing anything other than what he saw. Besides if I was going to commit to Lee I’d only have to broach the subject again at a later date.
Before I could think of what to say Lee spoke to him. “You know how Flynn and Valerie were before they were together all the time?”
“Like boyfriend and girlfriend, you mean?” Teague asked connecting what he saw to Lee’s question.
Lee glanced at me because if I really objected to him telling Teague I knew he wouldn’t. I folded my arms across my chest in a protective gesture but give him a short nod by way of consent.
“Yeah, like boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“So, you and my mom are like that?”
Lee glanced at me and a slow smile of affection grow on his face because this was all he wanted with me. I stood chewing my lip in apprehension then Lee looked back at Teague.
“How would you feel about that if we were?” I asked in a gentle voice because I couldn’t wait for his answer.
“Would this mean Lee would be my dad?”
“Not if we’re just boyfriend and girlfriend,” Lee answered honestly.
“But if you married her?” Teague prodded further.
“Well, I wouldn’t be your actual dad, but I’d be your step-dad.”
“But you’d live in our house with me and my mom, take me to my activities, and help me with homework and stuff?”
“I already do the homework and some activity stuff, but yeah, all those things and we could do lots of other dad and son stuff.”
“Like fishing…and bowling, and instead of Flynn you’d come to my father and son stuff?” He added with a hint of excitement in his voice.
“Of course. If your mom wanted me to live with you both, I’d be honored to do all those things with you, but most of all I’d want to take care of you.”
Teague stood quietly and looked at me. I could see him digesting what he’d learned.
“Well, I think you should do it, Mom. I mean…it’s Lee.” He stated like it was a no brainer.
I turned to look back at his Lee in time to see the smile in his eyes because Teague accepted him so readily. I was stunned and surprised that my son could take our news in his stride like that.
Being a four-year-old when his father left, Teague memories of his dad were sketchy, at best. He’d never been inquisitive of him and once told me we didn’t need him. He certainly had never voiced missing a father figure because Flynn had always filled in the gaps whenever he was around and Lee had done the rest when he wasn’t.
It was how brilliant Flynn with Teague that worried me, because the last thing I wanted to happen was for Lee to feel like a consolation prize if he took care of us.
“So, you’d be happy with Lee and me being together?” I asked.
Teague shrugged, sleepily, “Sure, why wouldn’t I be happy? Does this mean Lee will be having sleepovers with you?”
Lee saw how embarrassed I was, “Well, I think we’ll get to that, Teague,” Lee said and shot a knowing smirk in my direction.
“It’s not fair you and Flynn get to have all the fun. Like he said, I need to find a girl of my own for my sleepovers.”
I scowled when I thought of Flynn’s influence about that and. The held a silent conversation with Lee about speaking to Flynn. He had to be more careful about what he said in front of Teague. It stemmed from a previous conversation Teague once had when asked to join in the sleepover he was having with Valerie. Flynn had commented to Teague if he wanted to have sleepovers like his he had to find a girl of his own.
Stepping around me, Lee dropped to his knee beside him. “Can you give us a couple of minutes please, Niamh.” My gaze darted between them before settling on Lee with a warning look. I was asking him not to say anything to upset his world.
Without another word, I pulled opened the screen door and quietly stepped inside the house. I couldn’t walk away though so I eavesdropped.
“I asked your mom to give us a minute because I wanted to ask you something.”
“Okay,” he answered innocently.
“You really don’t mind that I love your mom and she loves me?”
“Yuck,” he said and pretended to throw up.
Lee chuckled and messed up his hair.
“I guess someone’s gotta,” he said, shrugging again like he was unfazed by his question. I saw a lot of Flynn in his personality. Teague didn’t lack confidence or self-worth and it was clear to me how much Flynn had influenced his personality.
His answer made me laugh.
“Okay, you’ve given me the confidence to ask the second question I wouldn’t have asked if the first had made you unhappy.”
“Teague, I’m so glad you feel that way because when you are a man and grown you’ll probably not want to live at home anymore. Now I know that’s hard to believe at this second in time but believe me it happens to most young men.” I studied how keenly Teague paid attention to Lee.
“She won’t be alone if she’s got you, right?”
Lee smiled slowly and it stretched wider, “Well, that kind of depends on you, Teague,” he replied.
“Me? Why?”
“Well, as the man of the house you’ve taken care of your mom really well up until now. And I know how much you love her. However, as you’ve probably guessed by now I really love her too. Your mom is the most beautiful woman in the world to me.”
“Yeah, she is beautiful,” he agreed.
“What I wanted to ask you, Teague, was if you would give me your permission to ask your mom to marry me?” My breath hitched and an instant lump gathered in my throat. My heart thudded against my breast bone and I held my breath waiting for my son to answer.
“Then you’d be my dad, right?” My chest felt tight at his question.
“The Dad that chose you, yes,” Lee clarified.
“Then of course you can marry us.” The ‘us’ wasn’t lost on me. From the second he answered Lee’s question, I could suddenly breathe easier. It was a weight off my chest instantly. Lee never thought there’d be an issue with Teague but it meant the world to me that Teague had given us his blessing so easily.
“Thank you, Teague. I think you know I’ll always love you and treat you and your mom right.” Teague gave Lee a puzzled look with wide eyes like he already knew that and wondered why Lee had even said it.
“And now I can get a brother?” He asked like he wanted to open a new topic for negotiation now Lee had gotten what he wanted.
We’d discussed kids and Lee had asked what my feelings were about having more kids. The thought of another baby excited me. “We’ll see. Maybe in the future,” Lee answered carefully. Teague stepped forward and wrapped his hands around Lee’s waist in a tight hug.
“Fine. Can go to bed now?” he asked, pushing his head away from his abs and stared up at Lee’s face in admiration.
“Sure thing, buddy,” Lee answered and rubbed his back.
Teague pulled open the screen door and stepped one foot over the threshold before he turned and looked back at Lee over his shoulder.
“You are going to live here with us, aren’t you?” he asked Lee, like he had to clarify the point for himself again. “Not today, but I hope to soon,” Lee replied. The thought of us living together made my heart skip a beat.
A bright smile woke up his tired eyes, “Mom, Lee needs to ask you something. I’m heading back to bed,” he called out to me. I stepped into view. Hugging me tightly, he gave Lee a sneaky wink like they shared a secret before he took himself back upstairs.
As soon as he’d gone, Lee turned to me. I was so happy and tearful I could hardly see. I blinked rapidly in my effort to stem the flow. “I know I’ve put a thousand obstacles in our way, Lee, but that little guy is my world.”
“Don’t,” Lee placed a finger across my lips. He obviously knew what I was going to say and after talking with Teague none of that was necessary. “Never say you’re sorry for protecting your son. It’s one of the many reasons I love you so much, but I’ve just spoken to Teague and he’s given us his blessing to be together, so I can’t wait any longer to spring it upon you in some romantic way—” He dropped to one knee right there on the back porch: no ring, no preparation, just a man who wasn’t prepared to lose what was suddenly within his reach.
“Niamh, I’ve loved you as a friend, I’ve cared for you as a lover, and as you know I’ve since given you my heart. I promise from here on out with everything in it to love, cherish, and respect you and Teague my whole life through. Please would you do me the honor of being my wife?”
Quiet tears fell down my cheeks as I stared blindly at him and swallowed roughly. I was choked with emotion at his open heart. I fought hard to compose myself before I spoke.
“I never believed I’d find love again, yet I have. Being with Lance was nothing like loving you because the love we share has seared my soul. I’ve fought against the depth of those feelings since a few weeks after we crossed the line because it scared me to death. That’s because I know I’d never recover from all the emotions that constantly bubble to the surface whenever you’re near me if we were ever to part.”
Reaching out I cupped his face in my hands. “When we first hooked up I couldn’t believe you’d want someone like me. After what I’d been through it was hard to accept any man would treat me right, after I’d placed my trust in Lance. Somewhere along the line I realized you are the one I should have met, not him. I don’t know how you’ve put up with all my crazy demands but you have. I’m deeply ashamed of how guarded I’ve been about us because I guess until last night I was still treating you as if it were you who had let me down—”
“Let it go,” he said interrupting me because he’d heard all the excuses he was willing to accept.
I felt embarrassed and a little ashamed at what I’d put him through. I didn’t argue and drew in a deep breath. “In answer to your question, Lee, Yes! I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid about this. There is nothing I want more than to be your wife and for you to help me bring up my son. I can’t believe you’re still here because I know how obstinate I’ve been but the fact that you are tells me how much I mean to you. I feel unbelievably lucky to know you’re mine.”
Relief flooded through him and I saw his frustrations ebb. My lack of trust and his lack of patience almost cost us a beautiful future. From Lee’s time in the military, he’d learned to trust in those around him for survival. And in a way, it was like that with me and Flynn.
For most of the time I had thought the security Flynn offered was the only option for mine and Teague’s survival and once I had fallen into that mindset it was difficult to take a risk with what he offered.
I wasn’t naïve enough to think life with Lee would be plain sailing just because I said yes to marrying him. With Lee working for Flynn it meant long periods apart and hurdles of those separations, breaks in routines, and a family to build it wouldn’t be easy. And I knew going forward it would still take time to break down the walls I had built around me and learn to trust Lee with all of that going on.
However, the one thing I knew without a doubt in my mind was he didn’t want to settle for anyone else after falling in love with me.
Often he told me he’d never felt such a charge of electricity and passion before like he felt when he was with me. He said I’d crept silently into his soul and whenever he looked at me his heart ached to be closer. His words moved me and as soon as I saw him talk to Teague and the way he responded I knew I was prepared to take a leap of faith do whatever it took to accept the security Lee offered, his love, and together we’d build the happy life he and Teague deserved.