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CHAPTER 15

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Matt picked up his wine glass and looked at Justine quizzically over the rim. “I’m surprised you wanted to come here for dinner instead. I thought that trendy new bistro would be much more your style, which is why I suggested it.”

“I’ve always liked it here,” said Justine, looking around.

They were sitting at one of the tables by the window, with a view of the darkened sea and the beach. The weather was still too unpredictable and windy to make sitting outside on the terrace enjoyable and most other patrons had followed their example and chosen a table inside but near the view.

“We had so many lovely dinners here. I thought it would be nice to come here again—just like the good old times,” she added, looking at Matt meaningfully across the light of the flickering candle flame.

He stiffened slightly. It had been a bittersweet experience so far, seeing Justine again. He wasn’t sure what he had expected—he had been wary when she had contacted him and told him she wanted to come back to see him—but he had felt that she deserved to have her say. And he had also needed to know, himself, just how he felt about her now. Two years was a long time to be with someone and he couldn’t just throw those memories away. They had a history together—and being with her again had brought a lot of it rushing back. Yes, he had missed her. He enjoyed her company, she knew him well, they shared many interests—it was what had brought them together in the first place—and he had missed having her in his life.

But something had changed. Something was missing now. When he looked at Justine, it was with the affection of familiarity—like the way you would look at a favourite pair of shoes from your teens that you would always treasure but would never wear again. It was not with the heady thrill of being in love.

He wasn’t sure when that feeling had changed. In fact, he wondered now if things had been changing already even before they split up. He had always thought that it was her decision to move to Sydney and her love of social climbing that had driven a wedge between them, but now he wasn’t so sure anymore.

It was easy to get into a rut when you’d been with someone for a long time—to mistake affection for passion, to think that loving someone was the same as being in love. But now he looked back on his time with Justine and he began to wonder if he had completely mistaken his feelings for her. Yes, he had found her attractive and enjoyed her company and cared for her... but now he realised that there was something that he had never felt with her. An overwhelming need to have her near him, hear her voice, know her thoughts, keep her safe, see her smile, be a part of her life, make her wishes come true...

...all the things that he had felt with Pippa. It was strange, but he had known Pippa for a fraction of the time he had spent with Justine—and yet already he had stronger feelings for her than he had ever felt for Justine or for any other woman. Even now he found a part of his mind drifting, wondering what Pippa was doing, if that kitten of hers was causing havoc again...

“Matt?”

He pulled his attention back to Justine with an effort. “Sorry. It’s been a long week at work—I’m a bit tired and preoccupied.”

She didn’t look like she believed him but she let it go. Instead, she speared a few rings of grilled calamari with her fork and raised it in the air. “This is delicious.”

“Yeah, that’s a new addition to the menu. I keep meaning to try it—everyone who’s had it raves about it,” said Matt. “I really should have ordered that as a starter instead.”

“Here, have a taste of mine.”

Before he could stop her, Justine had lifted the fork to his lips. Matt hesitated. After what he had just said, he couldn’t really refuse now, but having her feed him from her fork seemed an incredibly intimate gesture. And looking at Justine’s face, she knew it.

“Thanks.” He accepted with ill grace, quickly biting the calamari off her fork and leaning back in his chair, away from her. 

Justine looked down and gave a little smile that curled up the corners of her mouth. “So how are things going with Craig’s TV show? I saw the crew packing up as we were walking past the clinic. They must be filming the new season. You know, I’ll bet they’d love to feature you on the show too. Why don’t you speak to Craig about it? It would be much more interesting for the audience if they followed different vets.”

“I have been on the show a couple of times,” said Matt.

“Oh my God—really? When? Which episodes? You never told me!” Justine looked up in excitement.

Matt shrugged. “There were a couple of complicated cases of mine that they wanted to feature... a new surgical procedure that I’m pioneering... Craig doesn’t try to hog the limelight at all. He’s all about making the clinic the real star of the show.”

“That’s fantastic!” said Justine. “You should grab the opportunity—you could really become a household name like Craig!”

“Justine...” Matt gave her an impatient look. “You know my views on this. I’m not interested in becoming a celebrity vet.”

“But Matt! Think of all the VIP attention you would get! The perks! And the chance to get into some of the top circles of Sydney society. I mean, even if you’re not interested for yourself, think of your wines. You could get them endorsed by—”

“I’d like my wines to sell on their merits,” said Matt shortly. “Not based on my celebrity name.”

Justine pouted. “Well, I think you’re crazy.”

“And I think that just emphasises how we don’t share the same views and values,” said Matt quietly.

“Oh, no, this is just one thing,” said Justine quickly. “We share the same views on lots of other things. I mean, it would be boring to agree on everything, all the time, wouldn’t it?”

Matt sighed. It was time they stopped dancing around the subject. “Justine—”

“No, Matt...” She held her hand up and looked at him beseechingly. “Don’t say it. Don’t break my heart.”

“Justine—”

“Matt, I’ve missed you so much. I realised after I moved to Sydney how much you mean to me—I’m sorry for the things I said. I know we can work it out somehow...?” She looked at him pleadingly. “Don’t tell me we’re different people. Okay, so we might have some different views on a few things but that’s the spice of life, right? That doesn’t mean we can’t be together.”

“Justine,” Matt said gently. “It’s not just the different views—”

“Haven’t you missed me?” she demanded. “Haven’t you thought about me all this time?”

“Of course, I’ve thought about you,” said Matt. “But—”

“Well, then! Come on, Matt—we were so happy together. You’ve got to give us another chance. And—”

His phone rang suddenly, the shrill sound cutting between them like a knife through soft butter.

Matt looked at the screen and frowned. “It’s the hospital. But I’m not on-call tonight—”

“Ignore it,” said Justine quickly, reaching out to grab his hand with her cool one. “Matt...”

He pulled his hand gently out of her grasp. “They know I’m not on. They wouldn’t call unless it was something serious. I’d better just check...” He answered the call and put the phone to his ear.

Justine stared at him from across the table. She drew her own hand back to her side as he hung up and stood up.

“I’m sorry. I have to go. There’s an emergency—and I’m the closest to the hospital,” he said tersely. “Order whatever you like. I’ll take care of the bill on the way out—and hopefully I won’t be too long. I’ll try to be back as soon as I can.”

Then he was gone and she was sitting alone at the table.