Before we left, I slipped away to pee behind one of the buildings. I passed by the multi and rested my hands on the lock for just a moment. Shuffling feet and soft groans as if from a dream drifted from the door. Was it murder if we left them all inside? I shook my head. Be smart, Gabbi.
But it was hard to take my hands away. It was hard to walk away and leave them inside, in the dark, alone with themselves. I did that. I had gotten them in there.
I left the chain in place and walked away and told myself going soft now would only get us killed.
Kern and Laurel found bikes in one of the empty houses near the high school. They said they would lead the way on the trail. They said it was the least they could do to thank us for helping them. I didn’t know what to think about that, except to let them ride in front. They were easier to watch that way.
We made good time on the trail for a couple of hours. It was twenty miles to Folsom Lake. Kern said there was a pharmacy just off the trail after reaching the lake. We knew there had to be other, closer ones in the neighborhoods that lined the river, but no one volunteered to search them out. The V sightings became less frequent as we got further from the city. The suburbs were still built thick along the river, but a wider greenbelt created a better buffer. Plus, there had been no refugee camp to draw the Vs out here.
Soon we hit the dam and the lake opened before us. It was noticeably empty even on this winter day. The waves were calm and lapped gently on the shoreline a few yards from the bike trail. The gnarled trunks of the oak trees stood sentry like they had always done. A few shorebirds squawked over a trash can chained to a speed limit pole.
For a second, I could pretend nothing had changed. We were a bunch of street kids taking advantage of our freedom to enjoy the lake. Maybe someone was going to light a joint and we would veg out to some music while letting the sound of the water hypnotize us.
Then Maibe moaned. Ricker was taking his turn on the bike trailer. He locked eyes with me and shook his head. “She’s getting worse.”
I caught up with Kern and rode alongside him as he scanned the trail ahead.
“What?” he said.
I was going to ask him how far until the pharmacy. Instead, I said, “What do you mean what?”
“I mean,” Kern said. “Is there something wrong with me?”
“Why would there be something wrong with you?” I said. “Is there something you’re not telling us?”
He flinched. “Chill out, woman. You were staring.”
Had I been staring? “Don’t call me that.”
“Gabbi, then.”
“Don’t call me that either. You don’t know me.”
“What’s your problem?” Kern said. He scowled at me, drawing his dark eyebrows together over his almost black eyes. “I’ve done nothing but—”
“You’ve done nothing to make me—”
“Why didn’t you leave them?” Kern said.
“What?”
“I saw you. I saw you go back and unlock the door.”
“You were watching me?”
“That’s not the point,” Kern said.
“I think it is.”
“Why didn’t you just leave them?”
“I did leave them.”
“You didn’t unlock the door?”
“I didn’t.”
“But you thought about it?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“You’ve killed them before.”
“In self-defense,” I said.
“It’s the end of the world.”
“It’s murder,” I said. “Even if we have to do it.”
“It’s the END. OF. THE. WORLD.”
“It’s still murder if they aren’t trying to kill me first!” I said.
“But they ARE trying to kill you. That’s the whole point,” Kern said. “That’s why you call them Vs. V for violent, as in, they will violently kill you if you give them the chance.”
“We got you out alive. Why are you complaining?” I said. I didn’t understand how this conversation had gotten so out of control. I hadn’t unlocked the door. I might have thought about it. I might have done it if I’d been myself, but I hadn’t.
“I’m only pointing out some important facts here,” Kern said. “Facts that might get us killed if others don’t accept them.”
“I don’t need your facts.” I gritted my teeth. It didn’t matter if what I had thought about doing made sense or not. He didn’t get to judge me for it and think I would just take it.
“Yeah, whatever,” he said, shaking his head, dismissing me. “You’re crazy.”
He increased his speed and pulled ahead. I coasted and dropped back next to Maibe and Ricker. I hadn’t meant to start an argument. I hadn’t been looking for one. I’d wanted to know how far away the pharmacy was. I’d hoped to make him smile.
We rode a few more miles in silence. Kern stopped at a large intersection. Four cars were piled up in the middle. One was charred and melted into the street, the others mangled bits of red and green and blue metal. Glass was everywhere in a thick, glinting carpet.
“This is where we go in a bit,” Kern said. “The pharmacy is in that strip mall. Across the street is a grocery store. Laurel and I will grab us more food while you all get the medicine you need.”
I wanted to argue for keeping the group together, but Kern’s judgment still ran through my mind. Maybe I WAS crazy for not trusting them. They’d been through a lot too. They’d lost people and woken up from the fevers, infected just like us with memories that kept betraying them.
“All right,” I said, looking at Ano for agreement. “Everyone meet back here.”
“I’ll stay with Maibe,” Ricker said.
“Jimmy,” I said. “You should stay too. Help Ricker.”
“I want to help get groceries,” Jimmy said. His dark curly hair had matted around his ears. Chocolate crumbs stained his chin.
“And get more chocolate bars,” Ricker said.
Jimmy looked away. Ricker poked him in the side. “You better get one for me this time.”
Jimmy turned back, smiling.
“This is serious,” I said. “This isn’t some game!”
“We know,” Ricker said. His smile became a scowl. “It’s all death out there all the time. Thanks for reminding us.”
I felt embarrassed. Of course they knew. I didn’t need to ruin every time someone tried to lighten the mood. At least Ricker was still trying, which was more than I could say for myself.
“I’ll go with you,” Dylan said to me and Ano. His blue eyes were shockingly light against his dark hair. Sweat trickled down his forehead in spite of the cold. He’d stayed awake for the whole ride this time. The fevers were almost done with him, but not completely.
“We can’t risk this,” Ano said. “If you go down and there’s trouble…”
“Stay with Maibe and Corrina,” I said. “We won’t be long.”
Corrina whispered in his ear and he sank to the ground in silent relief. He was going down again.
“We need to find a second trailer.” I said it so only Ano could hear. He pressed his lips together and nodded.
We separated. Ano and me to the pharmacy, Kern, Laurel, and Jimmy to the grocery store. Everyone else remained behind. It didn’t feel right leaving them.
The inside of the pharmacy was cold and our steps echoed on the tile. The aisles were these huge shadows that loomed over our heads. Parts of the store had been ransacked, other aisles were in ruins, as if someone had come along and run their arms across the boxes to purposefully crash them on the floor.
There were two dead bodies in the back, both were clerks. We didn’t look close enough to see what had killed them. I kept my eyes open for a trailer, anything that a bike might be able to drag, but there was nothing. The pharmacy gate was bent, almost ripped off its track. The shelves behind it looked—empty.
“No,” I whispered.
Ano ran and jumped the counter. “All of it is gone!”
I heard a low growl and reached for the bat strapped to my back. The clerks weren’t dead.
They rose from the ground like monsters out of the horror movies Maibe talked about. I cleared the counter just as there was a crash. Ano appeared at the gate, wide-eyed, his black hair a shock of darkness across his face. He was scared.
Behind him the pharmacy was totally empty, except for the five Vs headed our way.
We scrambled back over the counter and into the waiting arms of the two clerks. One was a large, older woman with a gray-haired perm, the other was a younger man with a goatee. They snatched at our clothes and screeched. The Vs behind us screamed. I screamed back and swung my bat. The goatee guy caught the bat and ripped it out of my hands. It flew across the store, slid along the tile, bounced off an aisle, and disappeared. Ano smashed into the guy’s chest and sent him tumbling to the ground. The woman with the perm dug her fingers into my arms. The Vs behind us stumbled over the counter and one of them grabbed my hair. They were pulling me back and forth between them as I tried to fight them off, but they were too strong, too angry, too determined.
Lights blazed inside the store and made everything disappear into a sea of white. The woman’s head exploded in front of me. I tasted blood on my lips. My ears rang, muffling the shouts of people in uniform who surrounded me. I tumbled backwards. The V that still held on broke my fall. Arms wrapped around my stomach, cutting off my breath until one of the soldiers yanked me up and dealt with the V.
There was silence now in the store except for my ringing ears. Ano was on his knees, hands behind his neck, a gun pointed at his head. The Vs were dead now. Some of them looked almost exploded into pieces.
Kern and Laurel stood behind the soldiers and no one pointed a gun at them.