The French Revolution

Yes

there was that test

in European History that Jimmy seemed to

know all about.

Funny thing, I guess: me a North American Aboriginal studying things like

the French Revolution. So many wars in Europe

to memorize and figure out.

And really, what was the point? But it was school.

So go figure.

I had read the book

but it didn’t stick.

The words had a habit of running away,

none stayed in my head

so I hoped Jimmy wasn’t

bullshitting.

(And it was going to be hard to concentrate,

worrying about Caitlan.

But she promised me she wouldn’t

off herself until we talked about it more.

But I still couldn’t stay focused on the French Revolution.)

I had the set up: let Thomas Heaney

sit down first and then

take the desk next to him.

You’d have to see

that look he gave me:

I think you could safely call it “Pure Hate” if it was a painting on the wall with a title.

I smiled. (What else can an Indian do?)

Fuck off. Just fuck off,

he said.

Mr. McLeod said, Okay, students, today the test is going to be a simple one with two questions:

What were the causes of the French Revolution?

What were the results of the French Revolution?

He turned his back and wrote them on the board.

You can answer

in point form.

Now begin.

Everyone moaned like we were being tortured.

Paper Clip gave McLeod the finger

but McLeod had his back turned and didn’t see it.

Heaney didn’t have any paper so I gave him three sheets of lined paper.

(Whenever I think of school, I think of those pale blue lines on binder paper. And I always had a hard time keeping my letters inside those lines. But that’s just me.)

Reasons for the French Revolution? Bad leaders, unhappy

French people.

Results of the French Revolution? More bad leaders,more

unhappy French people.

I figured McLeod wanted more, but that’s all I had even though I had read the textbook.

Yo, Jimmy.

Sounds of pens and pencils scratching on paper. Sounds of people knowing answers.

Not Thomas who was picking his nose

like it was the most important thing

in the world.

Yo, Jimmy. I need ya, buddy.

Hold your horses, Jimmy said

inside my brain.

I’m here already.

He was still just eleven.

I hope you know your shit about this French thing, I said silently.

Well, I got access to the information.

Like Google, right?

Pretty much but better. I got whatever

you need.

So it pretty much came into my head like I was copying it off the internet.

(I know, I know. It’s still cheating. But cheating for a good cause. You have to stay focused on the big picture. This was all about getting PC to like me.)

Here goes, Jimmy said.

So I just let my pen slide over the page and tried to stay within the parallel lines

double spaced as Mr. McLeod would have it.

There were a number of causes of the French Revolution that began in 1789:

1. there were many poor unhappy people

2. Louis XVI and his ministers were unpopular

3. new ideas about freedom and democracy were being spread

4. the French were inspired by the American Revolution.

5. there was too much taxation of the 5 million French peasants

10% to the church

5% property tax

and taxes on wine and baked goods

6. nobles and church leaders didn’t have to pay tax

7. there were crop failures, poor harvests, and it was illegal to grow potatoes

8. people were starving

Jimmy, are you sure it was illegal to grow potatoes?

Yep.

Why, dude?

The rich people called it “dirty food.”

‘Cause it came out of the dirt?

The rich people back then

were pretty well fucked up.

I saw that my writing was very neat and orderly and even readable, which must have been Jimmy’s

doing and not mine.

Thomas had a nice clean white sheet

in front of him

and seemed to be studying a pimple on

his cheek with his index finger.

Mr. McLeod was reading a book and really not watching us. So now was the time.

I slipped my answers over to Thomas.

He didn’t know what the fuck was going on.

I smiled and nodded to my answers.

He thought it was a trick.

I smiled some more, gave him a thumbs-up.

He looked at McLeod and

then he started writing.

Well, copying.

On a second sheet of paper, I got on with answer two about the results of the French Revolution.

I won’t bore you, but Jimmy gave me stuff about the end of feudalism, executions, violence, democracy, and more rights for the peasants, but then there were wars and Napoleon and more wars.

I handed that one to Thomas too.

At the end of class we both handed in our work.

Thomas didn’t say anything to me.

Just looked stunned.

I smiled and gave him two thumbs up.

Jimmy just said, Watch what happens next.