Chapter Twenty-One

Numbers blurred before her eyes.

Holly took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Since the debacle at the beach house, she’d spent every minute combing the books to find any way to save the company. The floor of the study was covered in paper as she sorted through piles looking for any way out. The more she dug, the worse off the situation became. But as depressing a task as it was, it still kept her mind away from focusing on the way Julian had looked at her. Through her.

You knew there was a good chance he’d walk away from you.

But somehow, she’d deluded herself into thinking he’d pick her anyway. Despite all the rest of it.

Stupid.

And pointless. There was nothing to be done about it now. Not with the clock ticking for their employees.

A soft knock on the door revealed Lillian as she stepped into the room

“How’s it going?” she asked.

Holly sighed, sinking back against her chair. “It’s hopeless. Father already maxed out every avenue for a loan. Four months and we’ll have to close the doors, if my calculations are correct.”

Lillian’s shoulders slumped. “Then this was all for nothing. Everything we did. Everything we tried.”

Everything we lost.

The words hung in the air, unsaid. Holly wasn’t sure what had happened to her sister when she’d been away, but a light had gone out of her.

Just like me.

She’d like to think they’d both find a way to get it back, but even the briefest mention of Julian was like a knife in her heart. It was impossible to imagine a time when it wouldn’t be anymore.

“We need to face the fact that we will lose the company one way or another.”

Her sister slumped into the chair opposite the desk and put her head in her hands. “All those jobs.”

“People’s retirement plans,” Holly added. “Shareholder’s stocks. Our crash will be destructive.”

“Because we were selfish enough to think we could both salvage this and be happy.” Lillian sat up. “We deserve what we get, but the rest of the company doesn’t.”

“I know.”

“Maybe I should walk out and marry the first person I meet on the street. That stupid clause of gramma’s is ruining everything. If I had access to the inheritance, we could at least use it to pay out the termination notices. People would get something.”

It wasn’t the worst plan, all things considered.

“There’s one more thing we can try before we destroy your life,” Holly said.

“What?”

She blew out a long breath. “We need a buyer. We’ll sell the company at a loss to someone who wants a deal and will promise to keep the majority of the workforce.”

Lillian frowned. “Who would want us?”

The answer hung on the tip of her tongue, but she hated to say it. If there was any other way…

But there isn’t.

“Julian.”

Lillian recoiled. “What? How the hell do you reason that?”

“Think about it. Julian is halfway through a merger and pulling out now will be a hit to his reputation and his stock prices. But if he were to acquire the company in question, no one would bat an eye at the change in direction.” She twisted her fingers together as she explained her reasoning. “He wanted the company and he wanted our name. At least this way he can have one of them for less than being tied to our family would have cost him.”

“He’ll never take this deal.”

She shook her head. “He might hate us, but he’s a businessman above all else, and this move is to his benefit, not ours.”

“How would you get Father to agree?”

“As it is, his choices are either a public bankruptcy or a private sale. The funds from the company will set him up for the rest of his life.”

“And us?”

She played with her necklace. It was back to her old H, and the familiar weight was at least some comfort. “Without the company, there’s nothing keeping us here. I say we cut our ties to Father and try to start again somewhere else.”

“Leave New York,” she mused.

“We could go anywhere. Boston. Seattle. San Francisco, even,” she said, testing the waters.

“No,” Lillian said sharply. “Not San Francisco.”

She frowned. “What happened there? You’ll have to tell me eventually.”

“Maybe. For now—just not San Francisco.”

“Fine,” she said. After all, if their lives were going to crumble, it didn’t matter to her where she tried to pick up the pieces. “What do you think? Will it work?”

Lillian chewed on her lip. “It will save the employees if Julian says yes, but honestly, I’m skeptical he will.”

So am I.

“We’ll send Father’s VP over. They’ve dealt together before. He’ll be able to make a convincing case.”

Blue eyes so like her own pierced her. “No, I don’t think he will.”

“Is there someone else you think has a better shot?”

“Actually, there is.”

Her sister’s meaning dawned on her, and she shook her head. “I can’t go. You heard him. If we go near his company, he’ll make us pay.”

“I very much doubt that rule applies to you.”

She pushed out of her chair, pacing to the window. “Then you’d be surprised.”

“Holly, if we send in the lawyers, he’ll tell us to go to hell. He might anyway. But you are the only person who has ever reached the man inside the CEO. This has to be an emotional appeal to save a workforce, not a cold business pitch. You are the only one that can give this plan a chance at success.”

She shook her head, panic closing in. “I can’t see him again.”

Lillian’s expression grew sympathetic. “I know this is hard.”

“Hard?” A tight laugh escaped her. “You’re asking me to face the man I wanted to spend my life with. Someone who made it painfully clear he wants nothing to do with me.”

The wound deep inside of her that’d she’d been ignoring pulsed. One wrong move would tear it open, and she didn’t know how to survive the tide when it did.

As soon as Julian had walked out of the beach house, her father had flown into a rage. Normally she would have hidden away during one of those, but she’d been too numb to move. John had ranted and raved, flinging insults at the two of them. But through it all, she’d barely heard him.

She’d always believed her father was the thing to fear most in life, but she’d been so wrong. He could only claw at her confidence.

Julian had torn out her heart.

Lillian had hugged her, trying to offer what comfort she could but Holly had been wooden in her embrace. She hadn’t cried. Hadn’t chased after her ex-fiancé.

She’d gone as cold as Julian had. The blessed numbness had crept through her veins, cauterizing the wound that had the power to bury her.

She’d turned her focus to the company then, throwing herself into a desperate attempt to find a solution no one else had been able to reach. She’d worked round the clock just to avoid sleeping.

Because there was no hiding in her dreams. Or were they nightmares? The line had blurred so badly she wasn’t sure. All she knew was that as soon as she closed her eyes, Julian waited for her. Over and over she relived what it was like to be in his arms. To see him smile. To feel his warmth.

And every morning she woke with tears on her cheeks she didn’t remember crying.

“I can’t see him.”

He’d been radio silent since they returned from the beach house. They’d been home for a week, and he hadn’t tried to contact her. No text. No calls. No showing up on her door ready to hear her side of the story.

He’d simply left her behind.

The way everyone eventually does.

Everyone but Lillian.

“You’re the only one who can talk to him. And if nothing else, it will give you a chance for some closure.”

She stepped back from her sister. “Closure. I think I had that when he looked through me and left the house.”

“He was hurt. Blindsided. Give the man a chance to process.”

“Is this the ‘time heals all wounds’ argument? Let’s put that to the test, shall we? I’ll go talk to Julian and you go face whatever waits for you in San Francisco.”

Lillian stiffened. “This is different.”

“Oh, I doubt it.”

“It is,” her sister insisted. “Because you’re missing one very important factor.”

“Which is?”

A sad smile tipped Lillian’s lips. “You’re far stronger than I am.”

She blinked. “Are you serious?”

“You always have been. Growing up, you tried to keep the peace when I just walked away. I moved across the city while you did your best to temper his decisions. Even worse, while I gallivanted around the globe, you were here, shielding the company as best you could. And when Father decided to marry me off, I ran, and you stepped up. Tell me I’m wrong, little sister.”

“I only did what I had to.”

“No, you did what you needed to in order to keep innocent people out of Father’s path. You could have left and made a life for yourself somewhere else.”

“I couldn’t leave.”

“Of course you could. If you wanted to disappear, you would have. But you chose to stay and fight back. A quiet resistance to a monster incapable of listening.”

“You’re giving me too much credit.”

“Julian Worth, a man both respected and feared by the corporate world fell head over heels for you. That wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t strong enough to handle him.”

“Stop,” she said, slicing a hand through the air. “He didn’t fall for anyone. I was business to him.”

“Come on. I saw the way he looked at you that day. The pain on his face equaled the agony on yours. You weren’t seeing a man consumed by hate, Holly. You were seeing one devastated by love.”

The wound throbbed, cutting through the ice shrouding her.

Lillian shook her head. “Go and talk to him. That’s all. It might not end happily, but at least it will end. Don’t you owe both of you that?”

She closed her eyes, knowing there was only one choice. “You have to help me get Father to agree to this deal.”

“All right.”

A defeated sigh left her. “Then I’ll face him.”

And pray she didn’t damn them all on this final gamble.

…

“Well, this is bad.”

Julian glanced over his shoulder to see both Jason and Ryan slipping into his office.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he denied.

Jason went over to his desk and gestured to the empty whiskey bottle and piles of papers covering the dark wood. “No?”

“Want to tell us what’s going on?” Ryan asked, inspecting even more paper on his coffee table.

“I’m trying to come up with the best way to reverse the merger.”

Both his friends glanced at each other.

“Are you sure?” Ryan said, leaving the papers behind as he joined Julian by the window.

“Of course I’m sure. The Abbotts were using me. Score one for Jason. He predicted they were a pack of gold diggers from the start.”

“Gotta say, it’s feeling like a hollow victory,” Jason replied as he looked around the office.

“We’re sorry,” Ryan added. “We know how much you wanted this.”

“This will set us back years,” he said, staring out over the city.

Ryan clapped a hand on his shoulder. “I wasn’t talking about the business.”

Lillian.

No, that wasn’t right.

Holly.

His chest tightened.

“It’s nothing,” he tried, but the words tasted like lead on his tongue.

“Have you heard from her?” Jason asked, his voice unusually cautious.

He scoffed. “I got away from that family as fast as I could.”

Ryan glanced in his direction. “Did you get an explanation?”

“Holly tried but I—”

Ran.

As fast as he could.

His fists clenched. “Why would I need an explanation? I know what happened. My brilliant idea was ridiculous. I picked the absolute wrong family to tie myself to.”

“You got that right,” Jason said.

But Ryan was quieter.

“What?” he demanded. After months with Holly, he knew it was the quiet ones that noticed the most.

“You’re right. The Abbott family isn’t one to write home about,” Ryan said. “But not everyone loves their in-laws. The question isn’t were they the wrong family. It’s was Holly the wrong woman?”

He jerked back from the window. “She lied to me.”

“Yes,” Ryan said, his expression even. “But why?”

“Because she…”

Wanted my money.

But the words felt wrong, like they didn’t go together. He cast his mind back, examining the course of their relationship. Not once had Holly seemed at all concerned with material things. In fact, she often seemed unsettled by them.

She cares about people, not possessions.

And yet she’d tried to trick him into his merger.

Why?

“What does it matter?” he asked.

“You’re right. It makes no difference,” Jason agreed. “Let’s go pour some whiskey down your throat, and we’ll forget all about this chapter of your life.”

Sounded like a fine plan. There was just one problem.

I don’t want to forget Holly.

What was wrong with him?

He glanced to the side to see Ryan watching him closely.

“Stop it,” he growled.

His friend only shrugged. “I’m not saying this isn’t bad. It is. And maybe she’s exactly who Jason thinks she is. But I know how puzzles eat at you. Can you really walk away from all this without any closure?”

“What are you recommending? I take her on a date, and we rehash the demise of our relationship?”

“No,” Ryan said quietly. “I’m just saying you might have questions for her you need answered. Then you can explode paper all over your office and drink a liquor store dry.” He swept his arm out to gesture at the state of the room.

“I can’t see her again.”

“Why?”

Because I don’t know how I’ll react.

The nights without Holly were endless. He lay in bed staring up at the ceiling while the minutes ticked by. Alone in the dark, there was no denying one simple truth.

I miss her.

Someone who had pretended every time they were together.

But was it all lies?

He knew firsthand how terrible a liar she was. The woman had an honest streak a mile wide, or at least he’d thought she had.

Which was the real Holly? The Abbott grasping at anything to save herself, or the woman who’d smiled up at him each morning, content in his arms?

With a hiss, he paced away from the window and his friends.

He’d told her to stay away, and in the week since they’d been back, she’d complied. No call. No text. It was like the last few months of their lives had been erased.

Would she come if I asked?

Probably not. After all, he’d left her alone when he should have stuck around long enough to get an explanation. And with the truth laid bare…

Do I even want to see her?

But for once in his life, he, a CEO who never hesitated or second-guessed himself, didn’t have an answer.