As they walked back to the Driskill later that night, Becky felt like she was floating on air, her feet barely touching the sidewalk.
“This night has been wonderful.” They held hands, and his thumb grazing the pulse on her wrist made shivers track along her spine. “Austin is such a great city.” She glanced up to the historic buildings they passed on their way to the hotel. “I can’t believe how much of Texas I haven’t seen when I’ve lived here all my life.”
“Your parents didn’t take you on many vacations?”
She shrugged, the mix of bitterness and affection she always felt when thinking of her parents settling over her like a blanket. At the moment, affection for them won out. It was difficult to feel anything but happy with her heart so full.
“My parents are simple people. They didn’t feel like they needed to travel, and money was always tight. My grandma and grandpa lived down on the coast, so I spent most summers with them. Even though I didn’t go anywhere special, I never felt the lack of it growing up. I loved spending long days exploring the woods near their house and taking trips to the beach. Those memories are part of why we moved to Rambling Rose. I didn’t want to raise my family in the city. Wide-open spaces are important.”
“What about after you were married?” he asked quietly.
They were almost to the hotel, and she paused to enjoy the lights of the city. One day when they were older, she’d bring the girls here for a long weekend. They’d go to the zoo and the children’s museum. She wanted to give them every experience she could so they’d understand life was an adventure. Hope burned in her like a flame that she and Callum might share that adventure.
It was strange to be thinking of that after he’d asked a question about her late husband. She wanted to believe Rick would be happy for her finding love again. He was that kind of man, and she knew he’d approve of Callum.
She glanced up at Callum, then straight ahead again. It was too difficult to share these deeply personal parts of herself while looking into his dark eyes. “Rick didn’t talk about it, but he supported his mom financially from the time he graduated high school. His parents had divorced and his mom was an alcoholic, in and out of rehab. They weren’t exactly close, but he loved her and wanted to take care of her.” She took comfort in the steady pressure of Callum’s hand holding hers.
“She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer after two years of sobriety. Rick and I had just gotten married. We decided to postpone the honeymoon so that he could be with her through the surgery and treatments.”
“He sounds like a wonderful son.”
“He was a good man,” she agreed. “His mom didn’t have much in the way of health insurance, so there were a lot of doctor and hospital bills. We took care of as many of them as we could, but that meant there wasn’t much money left over.” That period ran through her mind like a movie. It had been stressful on Rick and on their marriage, but she would have never argued with his need to take care of his mother. “I guess my whole point is I haven’t had a lot of opportunity for traveling.”
“You can change that,” he told her, lifting his free hand to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Oh, yes.” She laughed. “One-year-old twins are really portable. There will be time for adventures. And I plan to take the girls on as many of them as I can manage.”
With you at my side, she added silently. She should just say the words. Put them out there so that he knew how she felt.
But something held her back.
Callum wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “The more I learn about you, Becky, the more impressed I am at what a spectacular person you are.”
“Anyone would do the same in my situation,” she said automatically.
“I don’t know about that.” He kissed the top of her head. “I think you’re special.”
“Thanks,” she whispered.
“Your late husband was a lucky man.”
“I was the lucky one,” she corrected, then pulled away to look at him. “I still am.”
His jaw tensed for a split second before he flashed a smile. “We should get back to the hotel. It’s late, and I have plans for you.”
“For us.” She lifted a hand to his face, smoothing her fingers over his stubbled jaw. “We’re in this together.”
“Together,” he repeated softly.
Now, she told herself. Tell him now.
Her breath hitched and her mouth went dry. Why was saying she loved him so darn difficult? Was she truly so afraid of his reaction, or could it have more to do with the feeling of being disloyal to her late husband?
That thought made her stomach clench. She took Callum’s hand and continued toward the hotel, hoping her sudden silence didn’t tip him off to her emotions.
As difficult as it was to express how she felt, Becky had no trouble telling him everything she wanted to say with her body. Every time they came together, she learned more about both Callum and herself. And when she drifted off to sleep in his warm embrace, Becky couldn’t help but believe everything would work out for the best.
The next morning, Becky and Callum checked out of the hotel and then walked to a popular breakfast spot a few blocks away. After filling up on omelets and stuffed French toast, they headed for a path near Lady Bird Lake. The temperatures hovered in the high fifties with low clouds on the horizon that meant they might be driving back to Rambling Rose in the rain.
A mother jogging behind a double stroller on the trail made her miss her girls. As lovely as the evening had been, she couldn’t wait to get home and hug her babies. Sarah had FaceTimed her earlier, and the twins had smiled and blown kisses, bringing happy tears to Becky’s eyes.
She felt refreshed but also anxious. She’d promised herself that before they left Austin to return to Rambling Rose, she’d talk to him about their future together.
“I hate for our getaway to end,” Callum said with a charming grin. “I appreciate all the work you put into making last night special. It’s going to be hard to top that as far as romance goes.” He leaned in closer. “But I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve.”
She stopped walking and turned to fully face him. “I love you,” she blurted.
He blinked and then blinked some more.
Becky opened her mouth, an apology ready to slip from her tongue. But no. She wasn’t sorry. Even though Callum looked at her as if she’d just sprouted a second head, she didn’t regret telling him how she felt. Maybe she could have done it with a bit more eloquence, but already she felt less nervous than she’d been since she’d decided she had to tell him.
“It’s okay if you can’t say it back to me.” She offered what she hoped passed for an encouraging smile. “I don’t want to rush things, but I needed to share that. You’re an amazing man and these past few weeks have made me happier than I’ve been in a long time. I want it to continue. I want us to continue.” The anxiety that had melted away for a moment began to reform, congealing in her belly like curdled milk. Something was wrong with Callum, and she couldn’t bear to consider the reason for his reaction.
He continued to stare at her, then turned on his heel and stalked several steps away. His shoulders went rigid with tension as he raked a stiff hand through his hair.
Something was very wrong.
“Callum.” She moved toward him, reaching out a hand.
The moment she touched him, he recoiled, spinning to face her again.
“I’m leaving, Becky.”
“Excuse me?” Her mind reeled. “I get it. We’re both leaving this morning but—”
“Rambling Rose.” He shook his head as if trying to shake his thoughts into some order. “Not for a while, at least not until the first round of projects opens. But after that...” He gave her an apologetic shrug. “I have to go.”
“Why?” She breathed out the word on a ragged puff of air. “You love it in Rambling Rose.” I thought you loved me, her heart screamed.
“I’m sorry,” he said, sounding as miserable as she felt. “My business takes me all over the place. It’s how things have always been.”
“But they don’t have to continue that way,” she insisted. It wasn’t like Becky to push. Normally she accepted whatever someone told her as fact and didn’t argue or put up a fight. Her love for Callum made her a fighter. “I don’t care if you travel. We can find a way to make it work. You and me together, Callum. I want—”
“That’s just it.” He started walking toward the street that led to the hotel, and she fell in step beside him, trying to make sense of what he was saying. “This isn’t only about you and me. You have the girls to consider.”
“They love you, too.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized they were wrong. For a man clearly terrified of commitment, hearing that a pair of toddler twins cared about him might send him running even faster in the opposite direction.
“I don’t want to hurt the girls or you.”
“You already are,” she told him, forcing herself to be honest. “I think you’re hurting yourself the most. By believing the worst or that you’re incapable of commitment or whatever bogus line you’re telling yourself in your head and your heart. You’re hurting all of us.”
His step faltered as he glanced down on her, a pain so raw etched across his features it took her breath away. They’d come to the hotel’s entrance, and she watched as couples, families and the hotel’s efficient valet staff moved about. She thought she might have finally gotten through to Callum. Made it past whatever defenses he’d erected to avoid risking his heart.
But instead of uttering the words she longed to hear, he opened his mouth, then closed it again, shaking his head. “I’ll get the car from the valet. I can drive home if you want.”
“Sure,” she whispered. Home. The word ricocheted around her mind like a bullet tearing through flesh. Callum had come to mean so much to her. He’d made her lonely little house feel like a home. But it had all been an illusion. No wonder she hadn’t been able to express her feelings before now. Apparently, she should have trusted her preservation instincts.
Now she wanted to run and hide.
Instead, she wiped the emotion from her features and thanked the valet who opened the Corvette’s passenger door for her. Everything about the past twenty-four hours seemed to mock her. The time she’d taken to set it up. Borrowing the car and making reservations. The fact that she thought last night was a turning point in their relationship.
Turning it all to hell.
Callum climbed in behind the wheel and pulled out onto the downtown street. “Becky, I know—”
“You don’t know anything,” she said, working to keep her heartache in check. “I’m done talking for a while, Callum. I just want to go home and see my girls.”
He gave a sharp nod, and a strained silence fell between them. Becky closed her eyes and let the sound of the engine lull her to sleep. As broken and rejected as she felt, somehow her body knew she needed a respite from the pain. It felt like only minutes passed, but the next time she opened her eyes they were pulling off the highway toward Rambling Rose.
“I guess I owe you an apology for keeping you awake most of last night,” Callum said, flashing a sheepish smile. “You needed some extra sleep.”
“I’m a single mother,” she answered stonily, swiping a finger across the side of her mouth in case she’d drooled during her nap. “I always need sleep.”
His smile faded. “I handled things badly this morning. I’m sorry. It’s a huge honor to hear your feelings for me. I wish I could be the man to deserve your love.”
“Seriously?” She took a deep breath. “Are you really going to give me the line about how ‘it isn’t you, it’s me’? You’re a good man, Callum. Everyone except you seems to realize it.”
“I don’t think I’m a bad guy,” he said slowly as he pulled to a stop in the parking lot at The Shoppes, where the Fortune brothers had their modular office. “But I know I can’t give you what you need.”
Becky unbuckled her seat belt. “Can’t and won’t are two different things.”
His eyes widened slightly.
She still wasn’t ready to play nice when so much was on the line. She’d loved and lost once before. The tragedy and sorrow of her husband’s accident had brought her to her knees, literally and figuratively. It had taken a long time for her to manage to get up on her feet again. As much as her heart hurt, she wouldn’t let herself fall back down again.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “This doesn’t mean things have to end between us right now. I’m leaving tomorrow on a scouting trip to San Antonio for a couple of days but when I get back—”
“San Antonio?” She turned to face him. “So you already have a plan for where you’re moving next?”
“Not exactly a plan, but Fortune Brothers Construction has a few irons in the fire.”
She swallowed against the bile rising in her throat. He’d known all this time he was leaving. She shouldn’t be surprised. Callum hadn’t made promises to her. Yet how could she have misread the situation so completely?
“It would be better if we ended this now,” she managed, not bothering to worry that a tiny sob slipped out along with the words. She dabbed at the corners of her eyes. “I need to think about the future for myself and my girls. If you aren’t going to be a part of it, there’s no point in continuing.”
“I care about you, Becky.”
“It’s not enough.” Before he could answer, she got out of the car and slammed shut the passenger door. She was too close to losing it to continue this conversation. Besides, what was left to say?
She couldn’t stand for him to try to convince her they could continue until he finally left Rambling Rose. Her daughters already had a special connection with him. A few more months would only make it harder when he left for good. Not to mention what it would do to Becky.
A clean break now was the right decision even though her heart screamed in protest.
He got out of the car as she walked around the front.
“Things don’t have to end this way,” he said, moving to stand in front of her.
She forced herself to look up at him. “Things don’t have to end at all, but you’re too afraid of being hurt to commit to anything.” She drew in a ragged breath. “You’re too much of coward to even try.”
He seemed to freeze at her words, and she elbowed her way past him and into the car. With shaking fingers, she gripped the steering wheel with one hand and the gearshift in the other. She put the car into Drive and roared out of the parking lot, leaving a cloud of dust and Callum Fortune behind.